TTC 1 Year plus success stories needed.

[Lovebug06]

Hi all,

I know this is the pregnancy board and I am sadly not pregnant but I thought I'd post to see if anyone on here could give me some positive stories.

I'm 14 months TTC and AF just arrived so going into cycle 15. I know there are people on here who have been trying far longer, but for those of you who have tried for a long time Im sure you'll understand that AF arriving is heartbreaking.

Late twenties, never been pregnant or had a hint of a BFP.

Tests say I ovulated last month. So I just can't get why it isn't happening. Im positive all month, I don't test due to the stress it caused me anymore. I have friends, family and a social media full or pregnancy and I just wonder why its still not me.

I actually can't imagine AF not coming. I try not to get my hopes up but I always do of course.
Can any of you on here who tried for over a year, especially if youd never been pregnant before, give me some positive stories of it just happening and cheer a tearful girl up.

Thankyou x

Hi. I got pregnant on month 14. I honestly never thought it was going to happen and it was really disheartening every month. Has your partner had a semen analysis done? I think for a lot of people whether its month 1 or month 15 it's just be pure luck but worth him getting checked out. Both our tests were normal and my husbands sperm count was way above average and it still took 14 long cycles.so it can happen for you.

The month i did get my positive I walked loads and had 4 acupuncture sessions but could have been a pure coincidence. I was also stressed with work and a job interview so didn't really focus or think about fertile week too much compared to other months but that is easier said than done

Really hope it's not much longer for you x

Hey, I'm 11+6 with our first. We conceived naturally on cycle 24. We got referred to our fertility clinic after 12 months. We got diagnosed with unexplained infertility. However I was found to have low ovarian reserve, so were offered IVF straightaway. We found out it had failed beginning of November 2020. We were just gearing up to start a frozen transfer when it had happened naturally. I was like you, I used to get so stressed about TTC, it was all I'd think about, felt like grief when my period arrived on time each month. Weirdly when the fertility clinic were involved I started to relax and after the IVF failure I had resigned myself to never getting pregnant. The month it happened I wasn't even 'trying', wasn't taking my vitamins and was drinking a bit. I do wonder if the stress was preventing us conceiving or if it was a coincidence. I would recommend getting advice from your GP and a referral, I found that helped as I felt I was being proactive. Bear in mind as well that it can be normal to take over a year to conceive. We fell pregnant within 2 years so this is still within normal parameters. There are fertility treatments as well so there's lots they can do to help. Good luck x

Thankyou for replying @Rosieposy89 @Whilstwewait
I started the blood tests last month and my results were progesterone 46.5 and parameter 11-81. These were on day 20 as day 21 was a Saturday. I gather these are fine as they said no further action and I've looked online and it confused me.
DH has previous children so unlikely to be him but I have asked him to be tested.
I stopped doing any testing due to the stress and feel much better for it, I feel much better through the month, but AF coming is just heartbreaking.
The doctors said no further action but then how long can it go on until they look again?
Obviously I hope it doesn't get to that but it just feels like it never will. People who get pregnant straight away are so lucky they have no idea.

Your progesterone seems good. So sounds like you're definitely ovulating mine was 32. My doctor referred us to fertility clinic after a year because i was 34. She said if I'd been younger and tests had been fine then she'd have advised us to try for another 6 months.

Likelihood is everything is fine. 90% of couples conceive within 2 years but it still doesnt make it any easier when AF arrives. It's worth your partner getting checked and then getting back into contact with your doctor for them to refer you. I found like the previous poster that getting referred and feeling like I had more control over what was happening and the support of professionals helped me relax xx

@Lovebug06 - In my area you get referred to.the fertility clinic after 12 months TTC. I would push for a referral. Your partner should also be tested. I know it is completely heartbreaking when AF arrives on time. Its good that you've stopped ovulation testing, your progesterone levels show you're ovulating so just have sex 2-3 times a week throughout your cycle. I really feel for you, TTC is just so stressful. 1 in 8 couple struggle to conceive so you're not alone. I hope you get your BFP soon x

I’m 12 weeks today with my first. TTC since July 2019, had an ectopic in October 2020 where one of my tubes got removed and got my bfp on 6th jan 2021.

I remember people saying it takes couples 7-12 months to conceive so I remember being so gutted when the 12 month mark hit, it did really start to consume my life. After my ectopic I started going to acupuncture which I really think helped. Have you looked into ovusense? People swear by it, I would have got it if I had known about it before investing in the ava bracelet.

Some other things I did for the first time that month were take new vitamins (someone here got pregnant on the myova insitol tablets first cycle of taking them after a year trying), I used a ferti Lily (along with conceive plus lube applied inside you), and kept my feet warm with socks and hot water bottle everyday after ovulation (I read cold feet = cold uterus).

DH and I had time off over my fertile window which I also think helped as I have a stressful job. We took the opportunity to do it every day for a week (positive opk fell in the middle of this) and I would lay down for about 20-30 mins after DTD.

I was so so adamant I wasn’t going to get pregnant, I had resigned myself it was just. Ever going to happen and I was going to pay for ivf this year. Now I think miracles can happen! Wishing you all the best luck xx

@Whilstwewait we have just done one of those home kits on him tonight, I know it won't count with the doctor but maybe to put him at ease. His results on this one were good. And mine seem to be. So I feel better but it is still like why is this not happening? I do feel relaxed that my results were okay though.
@Rosieposy89 ah I've literally had the blood tests and been told by a receptionist no further action. Im glad but kind of feel a bit fobbed off. As what if it still doesn't happen for ages, will they help me or just say my bloods were fine? Hopefully they would help, although of course I hope it doesn't get to that. Ovulation testing stressed me out and stressed DH out, so I just thought I've got to stop. Some don't understand that but it has done me good mentally. Thankyou x
@Chica1990 congratulations. Thankyou for all the advice. Yes the 12 month mark hit me hard and I just can't imagine it happening. It's very lonely. I will look up everything you have put there. I have pre seed and have taken pregnacare since the beginning so maybe I need to change it up.

We started TTC at the beginning of Jan 2019, and I got my BFP at the end of August 2020. There were a lot of tears and frustration and the feeling like everyone around us was pregnant in the 20 months we were trying.

We had been referred to fertility, I'd had a couple of day 21s that showed I didn't ovulate, DH had actually just done his sperm analysis the week before, after our referrals were delayed with moving house and GP then with covid.

I was temping and tracking my cycles that way. The months that were hardest were the ones where it felt like a chore. I never stopped temping but the months where it felt more spontaneous/we didn't just focus on making a baby were so much easier to deal with.

84% of couples conceive in 12 months of trying, 92% within 2 years. I found those figures quite reassuring because it seems like couples are so reluctant to say they were actively trying for any length of time, but actually a year or two is normal.

I've heard people saying pregnacare actually messes with their ovulation more than it helps - I recommend a standard vitamin d and folic acid and a generally healthy diet to cover all your needs. I also started using ovusense in about the June on a 12 month plan - I hated signing up for it because it felt like I was committing to 12 months of infertility, but actually it worked really well for us and I can pinpoint the actual day we conceived because of it, though I know it's not for everyone and is quite pricy. But compared to my oral thermometer, which claims I didn't ovulate on the cycle I got pregnant, it was much more accurate.

It feels really lonely and isolating and that's normal. But remember there's two of you going through it, you have each other as well as places like Mumsnet too. Good luck!

That's good that the home test came back ok. I'd call your doctor and arrange a referral and follow up tests such as a HSG. The receptionist can only tell you that your blood test was normal not what else they can do. Worth getting on the waiting list now and hopefully it'll happen before your appointment comes through. Good luck x

@Lovebug06 they should definitely still help you. We were classed as unexplained infertility and were offered treatment. Just because bloods came back normal it doesn't mean you don't need help. X

@Lovebug06 I'm 6 weeks pregnant after 13 months of TTC. I completely understand that feeling of not believing it will ever happen, the waiting and the not knowing is agony. I have one friend (out of the MANY who conceived easily) who was in the same boat and I found talking to her (about things like how hard we found it to be happy about people's pregnancy announcements!) really helpful.

In January we did a home test on my husband's sperm and it indicated a low count (was supposed to turn pink, stayed resolutely purple!). We were both shocked and upset. He then made some big changes - cut out soy, wore looser underwear, cut down on alcohol and took zinc and lycopene supplements everyday.

I'd had NHS tests that had come back fine (progesterone was 45 so almost the same as yours).

We'd decided to start exploring IVF and paid £205 for a scan and consultation with abc-IVF. Three days after the scan I found out I was pregnant!

It's really common that once you know things are ok, you relax and it happens.

Wishing you all the best and I'm sure it will happen soon! Worth trying a few supplements and things and definitely make sure you have lots and lots of support to get you through the disappointing days - it's an incredibly hard experience and not talked about enough.

It took us 18 months and 2 miscarriages to get pregnant with our daughter (now 20 months old). We had all the tests and were offered our one round of NHS funded IVF treatment. I was ovulating and the scan showed everything was fine. DH had low sperm count and morphology so made some lifestyle changes (lost weight, stopped drinking, took vitamins).

It just took us a bit longer, probably because we were older (37 and 42 at the time). At the time it felt like forever and it consumed my life but now looking back it feels like the blink of an eye.

I'm sure you're fed up of unsolicited advice but fwiw the thing that I credit our eventual success with is reflexology. Before that I was doing everything - tracking ovulation, opk strips - but I got pregnant the very same cycle I started reflexology. I did it again after the losses and got pregnant the next cycle each time.

We started TTC in 2016 but only half trying. After a year I started thinking there might be a problem and bought into all of the tracking, ovusense, etc and it became all-consuming. Ovusense in particular, while a really impressive piece of kit, was awful for me - it meant that the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing at night was my infertility every single day for over a year. I ended up losing confidence in myself, felt worthless as a woman, had a breakdown at work and was sent for counselling. Fun. We went to GP and were referred for infertility testing. Nothing obvious came out of it but the nurse told us to stop all of the tracking and just DTD more often. We started trying to make it a bit more fun and frequent rather than waiting for my "fertile window" and focus on us as a couple and doing it to feel closer rather than it being solely because of TTC. We also started to talk about other options like adoption and were really considering getting a dog which we'd always planned to do after having a baby. Sounds weird but it took so much pressure off - I felt like we could still be a family even with my "failures". About 2 cycles later we got our 1st BFP and I think it was because I'd found a way to chill out a bit. After that we sadly lost 2 babies (I am a lot older than you) but found it easier to get PG 2nd and 3rd times - almost like my body had reset. I'm now 36wks PG. I obviously hope your story is quicker than mine! But it definitely is possible and you are still young. You could try speaking to your GP and see if there is anything they can do.

Don't assume DH is OK just because he has kids either - male fertility does change over time. One of my friends had a DC struggled to conceive and it turned out her DH had had some kind of injury playing sports and all of his swimmers were going in circles. As soon as they knew that they got it sorted and now have 2 children.

Hi all, thanks for your comments.

I guess my main worry is I have never been pregnant. I was always on contraception but you hear so often of accidents and it's just never happened and still hasn't obviously.

I did have a friend I could talk to about it but she is also now pregnant so it's a bit difficult now as she's excited, as she should be. But I feel very alone now as the person who understood is now onto the next chapter. I have been fine and happy for her but I can tell she's awkward with me which makes me feel awful.

DH is reluctant to go for a sperm test. It's proving hard work although he says he will go. He did the home test we got and it came back the most fertile colour. He does have his previous children so I think he is just avoiding it especially now I've told him I ovulated fine last month according to my bloods, kind of wish I hadn't.

My MIL keeps referring to my infertility rather than my fertility which is making me feel rubbish. Isn't meant that way but as she conceived easily and tells me so a lot, and her son has children, it's assumed I have issues.

I will ask the doctors about referral, it seems they have tried to just fob me off a bit. Fertile window begins soon and I just kind of feel Meh about it. Don't expect it to happen at all. But these stories have been good. Gives me hope it may just happen. And there's been some good advice. Xx

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant after 13 years. I had tests but everything came back fine. I hope it doesn't take as long as it did for me.

@lilymty wow that is amazing congratulations! I'm so happy you got your baby after such a long time, that must have been so hard.

It took us 14 cycles to finally get pregnant. All my tests came back normal and we were waiting for DH’s sperm analysis appointment at the time. The month I conceived I went on a spa weekend around ovulation if that makes any difference 😂
Me and my best friend started trying around the same time and she literally got pregnant on her first try. I was so happy for her but so unbelievably jealous. I’ll never forget crying in the bath when she was texting me whilst she was in labour and AF had just arrived for me. Little did I know that would end up being the cycle I conceived.
I can fully relate to how heartbreaking it is every month and I’m already dreading the day when we start trying for our next baby (I’m still pregnant so a long way off yet!).
Mumsnet was a lifesaver during TTC and I’ve met some wonderful people. There are so many people in the same position who can relate and be a hand hold.
Good luck OP, really hope your time comes soon x

I got a bfp yesterday after 19months ttc. Although I sill can’t quite believe it’s real. I have a private fertility consult booked for next week as the nhs waiting lists were long and some services not running in my are. I felt like I needed some answers and my mental health took a major hit. Tests I’ve had so far all normal although had some signs consistent with PCOS. DH tests all normal too. I hope it works out for you soon!

Home tests are really not accurate - semen needs to be looked st under a microscope to see, amongst other things, the shape of the sperm and how they swim. I'd go to your GP and ask for a referral - they can do several more blood tests/check your tubes are clear etc. I found out I had endometriosis when I was referred (which was a shock because I'd never had symptoms and still don't). Good luck OP xx

I conceived on cycle 15 of active TTC, but even before this there had been a period of a year or so when we didn’t really prevent and there certainly would have been chances to conceive. This first BFP sadly ended up in MC at just 6-7 weeks. However, I don’t know what the hell changed in my body after that, but ever since I’ve conceived very easily. I did go on keto diet for a while, maybe that helped with the mild pco I maybe had. I’m not sure of this really as I always had regular
cycles and mostly got a positive opk each month. Haven’t been on keto since my first proper pregnancy. Second BFP on cycle 2 after MC, and from that we have a toddler now. Then half accidental BFP during very (and I mean very) inactive sex life 10 months after birth. This again was MC. Then another BFP from really a one time dtd, and from that I am now 36 weeks. I’m now close to 39 and before my first BFP I used used to think I’ll never need contraception again in my life - well, that’s out of the window and now feel I need to be careful after this pregnancy and maybe even get a sterilization!

@Lovebug06

Hi all, thanks for your comments.

I guess my main worry is I have never been pregnant. I was always on contraception but you hear so often of accidents and it's just never happened and still hasn't obviously.

I did have a friend I could talk to about it but she is also now pregnant so it's a bit difficult now as she's excited, as she should be. But I feel very alone now as the person who understood is now onto the next chapter. I have been fine and happy for her but I can tell she's awkward with me which makes me feel awful.

DH is reluctant to go for a sperm test. It's proving hard work although he says he will go. He did the home test we got and it came back the most fertile colour. He does have his previous children so I think he is just avoiding it especially now I've told him I ovulated fine last month according to my bloods, kind of wish I hadn't.

My MIL keeps referring to my infertility rather than my fertility which is making me feel rubbish. Isn't meant that way but as she conceived easily and tells me so a lot, and her son has children, it's assumed I have issues.

I will ask the doctors about referral, it seems they have tried to just fob me off a bit. Fertile window begins soon and I just kind of feel Meh about it. Don't expect it to happen at all. But these stories have been good. Gives me hope it may just happen. And there's been some good advice. Xx

@Lovebug06 I completely understand your feelings. All of my friends are new parents or getting their 2nd 3rd child without any problem or difficulties. In the last few years we got always the question ‘why we don’t have kids? Why are we not trying? Why I don’t want to be a mum?’ which obviously is not true just I didn’t want to share with them my feelings (ttc more than 2 years) and my plans about my life. So I just lied that I am happy with my life how it is and thats all. And now I don’t have anyone to talk about it (only DH, but its not the same) so if you need someone to talk, I’m here :) xx

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd, took me over 18months to conceive.
My 2nd it took me nearly 3 years.

I would push for more tests if you feel upto it xx

DH and I took 3 years to conceive DD. I was ovulating normally and we were DTD regularly. We only started taking it really seriously after we got married (2.5 years in). Both took vitamins and went on a health kick, I lost 2.5 stones. I had an internal scan to check my ovaries/eggs and was fine. Paid for an AMR test also but never got the results and I fell pregnant naturally 3 weeks before my first appointment with the fertility consultant, approximately 3 months after our referral. DH’s sperm test came back showing morphology issues (weird shapes) so he cut down on alcohol, caffeine and stopped smoking which seemed to do the trick. Oh and the only time we ever used Conceive Plus lube we conceived, I did the legs against the wall thing too!

I’m now pregnant with DS and this time we dropped on after 2 months trying which was a bit of a shock.

Good luck OP

@nat4392 congratulations! I'm cycle 15 so that gives me hope. I agree mumsnet has been great for me, to talk to others who understand how awful it makes you feel. Thankyou!
@Jmommy sorry to hear about your MC. congratulations on your pregnancy, its good to hear a story of it taking time then suddenly happening easily. Maybe that will be me!
@Rosieposy89 congratulations. I'm cycle 15 and I feel like id find it hard to believe if it happens too! I also feel very low at the moment, I don't think people who haven't had to ttc for long understand how it can affect you mentally. Thankyou
@IndigoNC the home test was done to try and make him feel a bit better about doing it properly, as he is clearly nervous. He already has children so although it could be him it is unlikely.
I will press for more tests, they have said I don't need them but from this thread I think they have just tried to fob me off. I will wait for my period again, I've been feeling very fragile and left it for this month after they told me no more action. Thankyou.
@Dobcaty I understand everything you say. My friend has just had her fourth! That would be lovely to chat, although I've never private messaged on here? I hope your okay
@crobo87 congratulations! I will get onto the doctors again when my next period arrives x
@PurpleFlower1983 congratulations!my dh does smoke, he has said about giving up and wants to but has to be in the right mind to stick to it. It's amazing you fell pregnant after being referred. I know a woman who found out she was pregnant on her first ivf appointment, seemed like a miracle.

Thankyou all for responding, your stories have made me feel a lot better.

@Lovebug06 hey, just looking for an update - how did you get on? I'm 13 months in and been diagnosed with unexplained infertility as nothing wrong with either of us. Looking for some positive stories as I feel like it will never happen!