Too honest at booking appointment

[Anonomous]

Anyone else worried they were too honest at their booking appointment? I told the MW that I used cannabis before I knew I was pg and stopped as soon as I found out. She asked about partner and I said he still does but only about 2 a night and not around me. He is worried she will pass this information further resulting in people knowing and potential loss of job. Does this happen? I have the maternity notes app, there is nothing on there about drug use and under the smoking section she has put No and No to any smokers in the house. Is the drug use on my notes on the computer but not on my app? Will I have to speak about this with every health professional that I come across? She didn't seem too bothered about it and said he should stop, to which I told her he would before baby gets here. I'm so worried, it's made me disconnect from the pregnancy, as it's taking over everything I think about. I feel stupid for even admitting it.
Thanks for reading!

Most people worry when they are pregnant. My MW told me I had sugar in my urine one visit and I started to panic about gestational diabetes. Try to stay calm. Gives good vibes to baby.

@ohwaitthatwasme

I'm not going to trawl through MN looking for the thread but I know what I read and it elicited quite a discussion at the time on the post about whether the MW was right in referring to SS

I also posted about this recently - I disclosed previous drug use (very occasional party drugs such as ecstasy and not in the last two years) and I was drug tested (only once - not regularly as some people mentioning) and referred to safeguarding. I think the safeguarding was also on account of my partner's mental health diagnosis (which is well controlled and he is well). The safeguarding team never contacted me and my midwife told me the notes said they had no concerns and immediately closed the case.

Nothing came of it so it was all fine - but it still makes me angry when I think about it - particularly the stigmatisation of the mental health diagnosis. The midwife at the booking appointment never asked what effect it has on his behaviour or anything like that.

I've talked about my frustration about this to my midwife, and a consultant I spoke to for another unrelated health reason. They were sympathetic and agreed it was over the top - but said it was policy to refer on that basis. I just wish I'd never disclosed about the drugs as it has no relevance to my life or how we will care for the baby! And a referral on the basis of a mental health diagnosis is a different story...

@Violetbeau
Me too, I wish I'd never said anything about drug use as the same it will not affect anything when the baby is here as all will be stopped by then (by my OH) I've already stopped.
As I have said previously she has not mentioned anything about a referral nor does it say on my notes anywhere about being at risk. It actually states no risk. So I'm sure if she thought there was a risk from my partner still smoking or the fact that I did, it would be on there for me to see and she would of mentioned a referral?
Thank you for your reply!

@Anonomous they legally have to tell you that they're referring you if they do so doesn't sound like she has. Admittedly I didn't quite realise that's what she was saying - I thought she was saying we were at risk of being referred not that she was actually referring us. But if your midwife didn't say anything like that then it's a safe bet she hasn't!

@violetbeau
Ah thank you so much!! I really hope that's the case!

I’m sure it’s fine OP - like @Violetbeau said, she would have to tell you about the referral before doing it (the only exception to this is if a child is in immediate danger, which isn’t the case here)

Also - good luck to anyone referring to social services over casual cannabis use 😂👍🏼 I can’t get them to accept patients whose families are in desperate need of support so I think their threshold is pretty high these days due to demand etc

@OliverBabish
Thank you! This seems to ring true for most who have replied so I really hope that will be the end of the matter.
Yes very true, my sister has fought them for years over her partners child who they believe is not being cared for properly, yet ss keep putting her back with her mother.

Op at this moment in time I think sw have probably far more to worry about - & far to much work to do

Don't worry, your habits are small fry compared to some of the patients midwives and other health professionals deal with on a regular basis.

I can see your mind has been put at ease already, but I'll add my view point as a social worker. She can't refer you without telling you and technically having your consent to do so (unless it is for a serious issue), so you should be fine. Even if you were referred to CSC it would not go any further if that is the only concern, it is unlikely someone would even call you, it would just be sent back to the midwife.
They absolutely cannot tell your husband's employer and this would be a huge breach of confidentiality.
Enjoy your pregnancy

Thank you all for your replies definitely had my mind put to ease now about outside agencies being involved. Still mad that I said it tho and it's potentially on my notes somewhere.