Too honest at booking appointment

[Anonomous]

Anyone else worried they were too honest at their booking appointment? I told the MW that I used cannabis before I knew I was pg and stopped as soon as I found out. She asked about partner and I said he still does but only about 2 a night and not around me. He is worried she will pass this information further resulting in people knowing and potential loss of job. Does this happen? I have the maternity notes app, there is nothing on there about drug use and under the smoking section she has put No and No to any smokers in the house. Is the drug use on my notes on the computer but not on my app? Will I have to speak about this with every health professional that I come across? She didn't seem too bothered about it and said he should stop, to which I told her he would before baby gets here. I'm so worried, it's made me disconnect from the pregnancy, as it's taking over everything I think about. I feel stupid for even admitting it.
Thanks for reading!

MrsBotibolsCruise-
Thank you, I don't feel judge by her tbh I think she took it all like it wasn't a big deal, as I told her I had stopped, don't plan to start again and that the OH would also be stopping. She just said about the importance of not being around it which I said I'm not. And it was left there.

@Anonomous

Kitkat151- Thank you, that is my biggest worry!! Don't want to be tarnished for enjoying the odd spliff! I really hope you are right!

No one wants to tarnish you ! and even if someone continued to both use cannabis after the birth of a baby and did it in a way that didn’t compromise the child’s health or safety then it would be fine..lol.the information is passed on same as midwives would pass on information relating to your mental or physical health......and any discussion going forward with a HCP should be non judgemental.....but they have a duty of care to ask about any future use as obviously they are just checking that your little one is in a safe environment..... don’t stress

Allgonnalaughatyou-
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that about your first pg.
My MW never mentioned anything about drugs test at the booking appointment and yes it's not on my notes app so hopefully that is the end of it. Feel so stupid for mentioning it and definitely won't be telling of past drug use on next pg as it won't have anything to do with that one.
Thank you for your reply.

Kitkat151
Thank you so much. You are putting my mind at ease!
I know a lot of people who smoked all the way through and still do now babies are here. That won't be us! Hopefully as I have quit and they know that there will be no judgement. Just didn't know if every health professional that I will see along the way will know about it and I'm effect grill me on it. She asked about future use and I said I have no intentions to, she seemed happy with that.

Allgonnalaughatyou-
Could I ask where in your maternity notes it said about the drug use please?
I can only see about smoking and drinking on mine nothing about drug use? Thank you

Im a midwife and have never referred anyone to SS for a bit of cannabis use. It is so common these days. I also wouldn't be requesting toxicology etc. Massive overreaction! I would give you advice on SIDS, referral to help your partner quit if he wanted and told you to enjoy your pregnancy 😊

Stopchewingeverthing-
Thank you so much! That is great to hear. Maybe I can stop overthinking it all now then and just wait and see what happens at my next appointment and if it is even brought up. I think my MW may be like you, she seemed chilled and not worried about it because I have stopped. Thank you again!

@Anonomous

don't worry about it, especially now he's going to quit.
My OH is cutting down too with the intention to quit. feel free to message me if you ever want to chat.

IME (as a midwife) it does depend a bit on the trust and their policies. I have noticed that some midwives are a bit overzealous but even if they made a disclosure to the safeguarding lead, the health visiting team or social services, they would be very unlikely to get very far.

The problem with a cannabis disclosure is not so much the drug itself (which appears to be no more harmful to a pregnancy than smoking tobacco alone) but what kind of lifestyle you might be leading, who you are interacting with to get hold of it, and whether you are disclosing cannabis to ‘test the waters’ and actually there is a lot more going on in terms of your drug use but you wanted to see what the reaction would be to something a bit more minor.

Generally speaking, if someone says ‘I used to smoke a bit of cannabis occasionally but I’ve given up now’ I wouldn’t consider taking it further. But if there are additional red flags eg. mental health issues, unstable/inappropriate housing, not turning up to appointments, relationship issues, something just not seeming quite right... then I’d refer to our extra support team (who deal with a whole array of different issues) as they’d have more time to sit down with the woman and explore her needs further.

Kelly3255-
Thank you so much. I think he is more worried than me. Worried it would be passed on further and that could effect his job. But my mind has been put at ease about that now so hopefully I can do the same with him. Even more incentive to stop tho. Thanks so much, I'll keep you in mind!! X

LolaNova-
She has told me there are no risks, it says that on my notes. So I'm guessing if she thought there was a risk from drug use it would be flagged on my notes? I don't have MH issues and we are both 'professionals', own our own home and have done everything we can since finding out to keep myself and baby happy and healthy. I honestly thought honesty is the best policy. Yes my MW didn't seem like it shocked her or that she took it as a massive red flag so hopefully all will be good. Thank you for your reply.

@ohwaitthatwasme

Think this is the post that @ivfbeenbusy may have been talking about. It was the one I mentioned anyway

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4056916-Horrible-booking-appointment-experience-anyone

Queenbee95
Yes I had read that one before posting. She states 'drug use' but not which drug. Guessing it was something stronger than cannabis for them to refer her and the fact she does have risk factors ie the anxiety and the diabetes in the family. My MW has not mentioned a referral to either a drugs midwife or SS so I think mine an that posters situations are a lot different.
Thank you

I think it was mentioned in the 'My antenatal notes' section under 'antenatal management plan' x

Allgonnalaughatyou
Thank you under my antenatal notes, it says my antenatal plan, and says it hasn't been published yet so guess I'll just have to wait and see if it appears there.

@Anonomous She told me at the appointment she would need to refer me as a precaution. The social worker called me a day or two later, we had a quick phone call just going over what I'd told the midwife, she did some checks with other agencies and then called back later that day to say she didn't have any concerns and was closing the case. I'd be surprised if your midwife had referred you without telling you, especially as it's not on your notes.

@SlovenlyUnwedMother-
Thank you so much!! All this is easing my mind loads!! Thanks again!

@Anonomous Reading this thread (especially the comments from midwives) it does sound like my midwife was being particularly overzealous. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about so try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

@SlovenlyUnwedMother
Thank you so much. I'm not as worried now 😊

Using cannabis on a daily basis is not the best way to unwind. Drinking daily isn't a good plan either. Life will get more stressful with a baby so will more stress relief be needed?
Dh never smoked (fags) anywhere in the house after I was pg but his clothes and body still reeked of it when he comes back in and I was petrified of SIDS on this basis. I wish I'd tried harder to get him to give up when I was pregnant.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown
As I have said he will be giving up. Maybe you think it's not the best way to unwind but others (us) see different. I haven't had an affects after coming off it so can't see future stress pushing me towards it. We are strong minded and know it's best for baby. Trust me I grew up around it and have seen it from all sides. I know what's best for me and baby and so does my OH that's why he washes, brushes teeth/ uses mouth wash and changes his clothes before coming back into the room with me. Thanks for the input tho.

If MW was worried she would have put something on your notes. She hasn't so she is not worried. Look after yourself.

Just sharing my own regrets re having someone smoking when I had a baby, too late for me to change it though.
The midwife will barely bat an eye I'm sure.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown
Ah yeah I get that. But he doesn't do it around me and I stay away from anyone who does smoke, although I'm more likely to inhale by walking past someone in the street. It's harder if it's people you don't know. Where as everyone I know will respect my wishes. I'd like to hope anyway!

@caringcarer
Thank you! I'm a lot less worried than I was this morning.