57, is that to old to be a parent?

[smileygirl1995]

So I'm curious is 57 to old to be able to father a child....?
might any child have health risks....or as the male is otherwise fit and healthy and has a good sperm rate etc any child would be absolutely fine....? Have tried to google some answers but didn't come up with much info so thought it was worth an ask on here :)

Umm, yes, 70 when they’re becoming a teenager isn’t ideal. I had a friend at school who lived with her grandad as her immediate family was quite defunct. Whilst it was better than the alternative (care) her grandad was so out of touch with kids that he didn’t realise what was going on or have the energy to keep her in line and on the right path.

There are known health risks, and there's also the day-to-day reality of an older man and how he is as a parent (which can also be affected by activity levels, lifestyle etc).

I wouldn't, really, unless you as the mother were significantly younger, well resourced and prepared to do the majority of the running around. The timing would also likely mean that you wave your kids off to uni just in time to start wiping your husband's ass, to be crude.

That's the other thing, if the mum is significantly younger she could well get stuck with most the hard work as the child gets older. So many men of all ages seem to just "opt out" of family life and this would just be another excuse.

Are you asking if you can or if you should?

My grandad was in his early fifties when I was born, he was fit and healthy and so young at heart. He played endlessly with me and looked after 6 kids everyday after school and in the school holidays once he had retired.

He was a fantastic man and real figure of love and fun during my childhood.

However, it has been very difficult for me to see how rapidly he aged once he hit his 80's, he has suddenly become an old man and can only manage to play with my children for a very short time before he's tired out.

Basically what I'm saying is I feel it would be selfish to have a child so old as you may be healthy today (my gdad ran marathons into his 70's) but don't underestimate how quickly it can catch up on you and I can't begin to imagine how scary that would be for young children and adults to watch in their father.

I wonder if the OP is the age her username suggests.

Yes it’s too old.

@SnuggyBuggy

That's the other thing, if the mum is significantly younger she could well get stuck with most the hard work as the child gets older. So many men of all ages seem to just "opt out" of family life and this would just be another excuse.

This is exactly what my DH has done.

Absolutely nothing.

DD is my child, my responsibility. He was 55 when she was born. I don't know when or if he last cooked her a meal or washed he school uniform. She doesn't like him.

It was manageable until he hit 60, Then absolutely not. A very difficult man (not saying all men are like this, but I would NEVER marry an older man if I had my time again)

Health wise? DD is top of the class and multiligual, tall and slim, no problems there.

My uncle had 3 children with his second wife between 50-60 (she was 15 years younger) without issue. He has 35 years between his eldest and youngest daughters. All good in their circumstances but it obviously depends.

OP from your username are you 26? If so it’s the age gap that would worry me more I think

I hated being a kid who was asked "is that your grandad?" It's not fair on the child.

Blimey I am about that age and a grandmother so I couldn't imagine having babies to care for. I guess men that do this have wives 30 years younger. Far from ideal I think but works for the Rolling Stones and their like.

Smiley girl 1995? You're a 25 year old woman? I hope you aren't trying to have a baby with a man in his 50s

@SnooperTrooper12345

From a personal experience, having an older Dad is difficult. My Dad passed away at 75 when I was only 20. He was fit and healthy when I was born. Obviously it's not always the case but from personal experience, I feel sometimes it can be a bit selfish to have a child so late.

This -

There are some increased risks with age, but I think beyond 50 is too old for either men or women to have kids.

I think people get far to worked up on here about having children at 45, which may not be ideal, but the chances are you’ll be fit enough until you kids are 30 which seems fair enough to me. Beyond 50 that isn’t the case.

My parents were both dead by the time I was 33, but I’m fine now. I don’t think it’s selfish.

Better to have a great, loving older parent than a horrible, uncaring younger one.

@starray

Better to have a great, loving older parent than a horrible, uncaring younger one.

Why would a younger parent be horrible and uncaring?

Male friend became a dad about that age; he had been broody for at least 15 yrs before I reckon. He is so happy (baby is about ? 2yo now). Come to think of it, my male cousin at age 40 managed to get a surrogate to provide him & wife (then about 58) a child. Who is now about 8yo? They seem to have no regrets, too.

I baulk at 70yr olds planning baby offspring, but 57yr old might easily live another 30 yrs. Not too old.

And why do you think that’s what the options are here? The options are have an older parent or don’t exist. Not have an older parent or a young horrible uncaring one.

Ask Sir Tom Moore's adult kids.

From personal experience nope if the parent is healthy.

A 57yo having a baby is one thing.
A 70yo with a just turned teenage is quite another.

Sorry I read a few replies this morning but headed off to work and forgot to check again till now, wow so many comments, lots of different opinions, I'm actually 27 however my year wasn't available for the username lol 😂
Thank you for all your comments and replies I will read through them all properly later thank you!!!!

Personally, I would say yes. But my dad was 30 when I was born and died at 43. I suppose you just never know, but I think you're asking for problems.

Far too old in my opinion but I’d consider over 40 is too old for either parent and I’m sure many on here would disagree.

I'd say it depends on the man. My DH was that old when we had DC. They are just out on a bike ride - he's much fitter and more active than me at 20 years younger.