My husband does not agree with my name choice spelling - what shall I do?

[Gemy]

I am having a baby girl and we decided on the name Isabelle a while ago. Or rather, I decided on Isabelle, my husband decided on Isobel. Only recently - when a friend of ours asked which spelling we were using - have we discovered that we have a problem!

We are both digging our heals in, though I have to say, husband is not looking like he is going to back down on this one. He says he'd rather we choose another name. But I don't want to!!

So, the baby is due at Christmas. What do you think I should do? Relent and have the spelling 'Isobel'/dig MY heals in and see where it gets me/agree to pick another name. (I don't dislike the name Isobel, I just haven't got used to it yet)

Any opinions please!

What about Isobelle?

What about a compromise, say Isabel?

DS1 has a friend called Isabel. it's a perfectly acceptable spelling afaik.

Why not compromise and go for Isabel? (which happens to be my preferred spelling anyway!) And I think it's lovely - ds would have been Isabel if he had been a girl.

DD1 is Isabelle, which I think is the prettier version. MIL however insists on writing Isobel on cards etc.(DD is 13!) but maybe that's her Scottish roots showing.

I'd be inclined to pick a name out of a hat or something.

Message withdrawn

My friends dd is Isabel and also if you want to buy 'things' with pre printed name on (ie cups etc) they normally ahve Isabel on them!

It's the same name. Most of the time you are going to be saying it, not spelling it out.

Toss a coin.

Or go with a third spelling..

Isabel
Isobelle
Isobell

Yhzuvyll.

I'd wait and see what happens - one of you might mellow or you might take one look at her after birth and think 'Nooooo, she's not an Isobel/Isabelle, she's a Dorothea'. Or something. Not worth rowing about right now.

I prefer your husband's spelling, tbh, but the thing his HE isn't carrying this baby for nine months and pushing it out of his fanjo. So if you are still having this debate once baby is here, you get the casting vote, IMO.

Is Isabelle not the French spelling and Isobel the English? It's a really hard situation as both are nice - although I'm sure she'll end up as Izzie either way! I think you should get to decide - the rule is: whoever gives birth gets to decide!

in fact dd1 was very very nearly called Isabelle till noone could undestand why we were spelling it like that (the end 'elle' part is same as end of my name) so in the end we called her Ellie nearest comromise!

I thought it was:

Isabel - English
Isobel - Scottish
Isabelle - French

Who chose the name?

I have just shown DH my post and the replies (thanx everyone) and there has been a "developement". He says he will compromise with 'Isabel'. BUT, I have pointed out the rule/belief with the one who pushes baby out of fanjo gets the ultimate decision which after a few splutters and looks around the room for help, he did agree that is a good point

It was me who chose the name originally, to which (surprisingly) DH said "that's really nice" instead of the usual negative responses/grimaces.

Choosing a name can be so hard! DD1 was nameless for a week after her birth! (eventually settled on Freya, but it was not easy)

So, what do we think? Compromise with Isabel(after all, what is al 'le' between husband and wife?) or stick to my guns?

I prefer your spelling. Next best is Isabel. Or Isabella.
How about you choose the first name (you are doing all the hard work) and he picks the second name?

Oops, crossed post, sorry!

I'd go with Isabel, but only because it's my favourite - also like Freya btw.

I would wait Gemy, your dh is being quite reasonable so far in compromising and he may come around to the idea in time

when your baby is born you may find you really don't care too much, or your dh may say your choice is ok

somehow the compromise spelling looks like a knock knock joke to me - it's not a spelling i would recognise as 'standard'. i would have thought of your isabelle spelling as the default, and isobel if you had scottish connections. i think isabelle is more flexible as she can be just belle if she chooses. and yes, she will be izzy most of the time whatever you choose.

I don't agree puppy - I have met quite a few Isabels (including a Scottish one), one or two Isobels and no Isabelles except actual French ones. So I think Isabel is the most popular spelling.

Yes, DH is being reasonable offering the compromise, and Isabel is a lovely name still.

You're right though, by the time the little one does arrive, it may not seem that important. And she'll more than likely end up being 'Issy/Izzie' anyway.

thx everyone, you have been a great help

have you agreed on a middle name? how about one of you gets to decide on Isobel/Isabelle and the other gets to choose the middle name?

on the other hand your dh seems to feel strongly - for whatever reason - whereas the way you phrase the op suggests that you don't feel quite so strongly. is this your first? is it perhaps his way of being as involved as possible - lots of men do find it difficult at this stage to feel as involved and part of the process as the woman - maybe you should let him have his way. whilst I don;t think dh did feel strongly it was for this reasoning that I gave dds his surname. It was a kind of sop to teh fact that try as he might to be the perfect dad he'd never know what it was like to have a baby in your belly. (I know some people cite this as a reason for you getting your way - I see it as an incredible privelege blokes will never share albeit one that smarts a bit )

I would pick another name to avoid everyone spelling your dd's name wrong her whole life, since there are so many variants.

too late!

Never thought if it like that hatwoman - that is a really good point. I do think sometimes he does feel a little uninvolved (I quite happily say he doesn't need to accompany me to ante-natel appointments etc)