Anyone else struggle with pregnancy

[nellly]

I'm feeling really low, pregnant with first dc1, very much wanted. Dh is absolutely thrilled and can't wait to be a dad. I'm only just coming up 8 weeks and I hate it, I feel miserable all the time. I'm nauseous from the moment I wake up until when I go to sleep, my boobs hurt, I have head aches and I'm constipated.

I feel so guilty, I have friends who have struggled with infertility and my own sister is desperate to fall pregnant after years of trying and a miscarriage. Here I am lucky enough to get pregnant and can't stop crying. Everytime I think of how long I have left until the baby's here I feel like I can't breathe

Didn't want to read and run... I had moments where I felt like this in the first few weeks, and still have days now that I just don't enjoy.

It really helped talking to friends who gave been pregnant before, made me realise I'm not on my own and that feeling fed up is to be expected when you feel rubbish. The nausea will get better!

Thanks @FirstTimeMummy2021 think I'm unlucky, I've told my best friend, mum and auntie who all said "ooh that's odd I didn't get any sickness just slightly sore boobs" so unhelpful

Even the pharmacist today told me she had textbook pregnancies with no problems, feel like everyone else just handles it better

Noooo I hate pregnancy!!! I swear any person that talks about pregnancy glow is lying...it’s sweatiness! I had HG and hated it with a passion, I actually found the 3rd trimester the easiest as I stopped being as sick.

I’m also odd that i don’t like newborn babies, once they are over 6months I find children much more interesting.

Hopefully it’s just your hormones and feeling sick. I vividly remember crying on the sofa at 8 weeks. But just to put it on your radar, prenatal depression is also real. If you still feel really down in a few months then definitely reach out to your local support groups etc

I hate being pregnant. It's incredibly tough physically and the mental strain from worrying about everything you eat/don't eat/feel/don't feel/do/don't do is mad. I'm on my second pregnancy and I'm honestly counting down the days till I never have to be pregnant again (not having a third!) rather than the days till I meet my child.

Some people are fine being pregnant, some people hate it. It's fine, you won't love your child any less if you don't like being pregnant.

The only thought that helps me is that while it may feel like time slows down when you're pregnant and miserable, it doesn't actually. Time will pass as it always has and there is a good chance that somewhere in the middle of your pregnancy when you are through the first trimester stuff and not yet uncomfortable from getting big there is a couple of weeks where it is mostly fine!

Yeah it's sucks. It also feels much longer than 9 months. Unfortunately OP it's a cross we have to bear as women to have children.

I hated pregnancy. It was long, dull, often uncomfortable; it restricted my life and played havoc with my emotions in the first trimester.

BUT DS turns four months tomorrow and earlier today I thought how I would do it all again in a heartbeat. You forget what a drudge it was once your beautiful baby arrives.

Congrats and best of luck.

I had a really easy pregnancy with my first, I realise now that that was a fluke! I've had everything going this time around. The nausea in the first trimester was terrible and I've had reflux causing a horrid feeling in my throat. The tiredness can be overwhelming times too. It is hard to feel happy and positive when you feel so rough. It is perfectly normal to feel discombobulated. (Love that word!)

Your hormones are also everywhere at the moment and that will really impact on how you are feeling. It does get better though.

Do you think talking to someone would help - Either a friend your partner or a professional? Sometimes just offloading can really help to process how you are feeling. Give yourself time and try not to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way.

@nellly that sounds really tough, please don't be so hard on yourself though.
Have you joined a Due in October birth group thread here on MN? If you haven't I recommend it. The ladies on there will be going through similar things to you at similar times, which can be really reassuring.
If you still feel down, then please mention it to your MW at booking in, you may need that extra little bit of support xx

I’m pregnant with my third and contrary to how I felt the first two times, this time I am absolutely miserable and so far hate being pregnant. I too am conscious of sounding ungrateful but I think when you have really bad nausea and sickness and other unpleasant symptoms then it makes it difficult to be overjoyed even if the pregnancy was planned and wanted.

No real advice but I asked about this recently here and loads of lovely women said it’s the hormones and it should all settle down soon and if not the feeling does go away once you hold your bundle of joy.

I’m 9+3 today and know what you mean. I’ve been TTC since July 2019 and this was definitely wanted but the sickness feeling, insomnia and tiredness made it a struggle. I asked the docs for something to help with feeling sick which they did and I turned a corner about a week ago.

See if your gp can do anything to help and good luck! We are close to 12 weeks which is when things should be ok the up! :)

Oh my god it's flipping horrendous. I think I'm about 6 weeks and the nausea has hit like a train.
I was the same with dd, sick until about 16 weeks.
But I also remember how wonderful it was when I finally felt better and could enjoy a cup of tea again etc. It was like a new lease of life.
Plus it was very worth it, dd is the best.
So yes, it's awful but it does pass, hang in there.

Thank you all so much, I'm sorry you're having a rough time too but I was starting to think I was crazy. It's just my bad luck (and their good luck) that the women I'm close to have had dreamy pregnancies.

I am really hating it but don't feel any less excited about the actual baby at the end of it, if it doesn't get better I'll go back to the midwife

@nellly oh you are not alone! I turned 8w today and have been generally miserable since 5w. My nausea and sickness is getting worse which can happen as hormones peak at 9w so I'm hoping the worst is over with soon. I am massively grateful to my body as we are pregnant first month TTC and know only too well how many women struggle for years on end but I am not enjoying pregnancy at all yet.

I am off work for some days this week and genuinely don't know how I'm going to be back on a computer 9 to 5! If I felt this unwell without being pregnant I'd be off work but feel I've got to get through somehow and can't not work because I feel tired and sick, especially if it's goes on for a long time.

I can't make it better but know you are not alone and even though this was planned we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves.

@Adancewithdragons OMG!! Thank you so so much for saying that about not enjoying the new born phase. I can honestly say, I dread it. I want my little one to arrive at 6 months plus! I've been met with some very unhelpful comments from family members when I have shared that I don't visualise adoring that stage as much as they have. I might love it but I am apprehensive about it.

Thanks @GummyBear91 I'll focus on getting to 9 weeks and hopefully it eases a bit from there.

I don't know who loves the first stages but everyone I know has said having a newborn was just a crazy sleep deprived blur! They definitely preferred it after a few months

You’re not crazy or a bad person.
I fucking hate being pregnant.

Rest assured I love my DC 😍, the hormones just make me sick and miserable. Luckily the second trimester was ok for me then I hated the third. Even called DC a leach at the end last time because he went over and I was soooooo over being pregnant. Then pop he’s here and awwww cute!

When my little one was a newborn and anyone asked how I was finding my reply was always "it's much better than being pregnant".
I struggled with pregnancy sickness in the first and third trimesters as well as fatigue in the first trimester and I can now see that I had depression in the first and second trimester. My favourite trimester was actually the third, I found that it was more acceptable to be miserable /fed up about being pregnant further along and I didn't feel obliged to be cheery about it.

@GummyBear91 I’m exactly the same if I could skip pregnancy and the first 6 months I would have another baby in a heart beat. I hate pregnancy and find newborns boring. I know it’s an unpopular opinion (or maybe people just don’t say it out loud?). I also never had that rush of love, I cried that I didn’t love my baby like everyone seemed to suggest you should. But it came over time and I’m obsessed with my children now. Just wish I had been better mentally prepared for that first 10 weeks. It’s ok not to feel that rush of love as after all they are strangers and have made the last 9 months pretty tough 😂

@nellly I'm 8 weeks on Friday and I could have written your post! I even said to my Mum and sister yesterday I'm hating how it's making me feel. I'm just hoping it eases soon! I've not been sick but constantly nauseous throughout the day and cannot face certain foods and don't want any drinks at all. Currently just taking tiny sips of water. It's making me very moody and not wanting to do anything.

I have my first booking in appointment next week. I'm also feeling very anxious (I'm 36 and this is our first pregnancy) I'm just constantly worrying what could go wrong. I have to stop myself thinking negative and try and be positive.

So you're not alone with how you're feeling. Let's hope it gets better for both of us! 🤞🏻☺️

Me and my 3 girlfriends are pregnant currently and due within a couple of months of eachother. We are constantly bitching about the sufferings lol and none of us have enjoyed pregnancy. I'm now 22 weeks and the baby has started moving but I haven't felt myself since I've gotten pregnant, which I hate. It becomes bearable as opposed to enjoyable, people who tell me it's worth it in the end I just want to slap with a wet fish; I know I will probably feel that way but that's still a few months into the future!!

I had a very easy pregnancy, and I still hated it. We definitely want a second child, but I'm really really not looking forward to the second pregnancy won't be for a little while yet though, DS is only 6 months

Living with all day nausea and having to still function is exhausting and then makes all the other things more significant too. Hopefully, by the time you get to 12 weeks the nausea will be easing and the rest more manageable.

It's not an easy time - I'm now starting to ache a lot with PGP and things in general seem that bit harder but much more manageable than when I felt nauseous ALL day every day.x

I’m 9 and a half weeks and I also am finding it hard and not enjoyable I do feel guilty saying it but it’s how I feel. I’m struggling

I have hyperemesis, no energy, headaches and am unable to work. I know I’ll love the baby (I already do) but sometimes I wish I’d waited even longer before getting pregnant

You’re not alone

Thank you all, feel a bit better this morning and just trying to take it one day at a time. Roll on October

ME!! Totally hear you, i'm 12 weeks with baby no 2, i could not believe how horrendous i felt 1st time round. I felt cheated that no-one had told me how bad those early days would be. I felt awful and was sick daily from around 6 to 16 weeks, but after that i breezed through the rest. I promise it does get better! Hoped for an easier ride this time but nope been exactly the same. You just need to do whatever it takes to get yourself through each day and i promise you will start to feel better soon. I found 7-9 weeks particularly hard mentally because you do feel like there's just no end in sight but from about 10 weeks i started to improve massively and the worst was definitely over.
Really feel for you though, it's so though! Don't feel guilty, hang in there

@nesski Your post really cheered me up. I think part of whats making it extra hard is when everyone around you expects you to be enjoying it! Its so good to know we aren't alone to feel this way!

Completely normal, especially in the first trimester! It's the absolute worst because you're tired, sick, irritable and you cant even really tell anyone why 😭😂 I'm 7 weeks at the moment and really struggling with sickness today. I had a MMC at almost 13 weeks so this pregnancy is very much wanted but also I bloody hate it!😂