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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

did test today and found out pg........need a chat pls...

29 replies

ruby07 · 01/11/2007 20:58

Like the title says, I did a test this morning and the digital reading said pregnant. This is my second one and to be honest I am still in two minds as to whether I'm happy or not. I know this sounds terrible considering there are women out there trying....I do apologise if I sound ungrateful, i don't mean to, but I can't help how I feel.

To top things off, DH is away at the mo and isn't back until next friday. I don't want to tell him over the phone and therfore can't talk to him about it.

We have discussed having a second several times and I have always been 50/50 about it.
Even with my first I was never 100% sure.

I have so many emotions and feelings at the mo. Excited, scared, worried, happy, not happy etc... My dd is going through the terrible twos at the mo and so there have been times today when I have thought "why am I doing this again?"

Can some one please chat to me as I can't tell any one in "real life" until I tell dh.

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NAB3sparklesandflashes · 01/11/2007 20:59

Congratulations!

I am sure you would be feeling more excited if your Dh was there with you.

Why not think of a really cute way to tell him.

SuperMonkey · 01/11/2007 21:03

I know how you feel Ruby - my DP was away when I found out so I had no one to tell. I was happy about it, had been TTC, but still I had an overwhelming rush of emotions - excited, scared, worried, happy! Congratulations .

wrinklytum · 01/11/2007 21:05

Congratulations!!!

Could you write it all down-a list of pros and cons?

FWIW Mine are 2 years apart.It was tricky at first but ds adores his little sister.It is tiring,more costly, but worth it.xxx

Go on tell your dh,bet hes delighted!!!

mamazombie · 01/11/2007 21:10

you weren't sure with your first child and yet you love him/her more than anything in the world im sure.

if you were nto ready for this child and it was totally the wrong time to be having another child you wouldn't be feeling any sort of joy, you are and therefore i am sure deep down...under all the worry and the panic.,....you are happy at this news.

Congratulations

HairyIrene · 01/11/2007 21:11

congratulations...or does it all just still feel like a mad rollercoaster?

its okay to feel the way you do
be calm let all the emotions do what they are going to do, they will anyway..

take care, nearly friday soon ..have good heart to heart with your dh..good luck.

Original poster
ruby07 · 01/11/2007 21:12

Just thought, I guess the decision has been made for us and I have to live with it and be happy. Like you say wrinklytum, I am scared of how hard it is going to be. I went through mild PND with dd and even now feel like I don't have the patience I should have with her.....i guess that's another thread I should start !!!!

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Original poster
ruby07 · 01/11/2007 21:15

Wow! it's amazing how reading all your responses really is starting to put this into perspective. I hadn't thought about it like you said mamazombie....if it was totally wrong then I wouldn't have felt the excitment and joy that I did this morning.

OP posts:
HairyIrene · 01/11/2007 21:19

ruby
am glad for you

Original poster
ruby07 · 01/11/2007 21:30

Oh god... I'm so worried that dd will not get the one on one that she has at the mo. She is a very bright girl and i worry that the interaction and time that I have for her will go. She doesn't like playing alone and I try very hard to encourage her to. This I worry will make her even more clingy...even though I know it's not tomorrow we're due.
Does that make sense? Does anyone have any experience of sharing their time between a (what will be) a 3 year old and baby?

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 01/11/2007 21:34

2 is a hard age!!!Is she a new 2 or getting to 3?3 is a delight and I think that girls are more into babies than boys.DS was most put out at first but he was 2 2 days after dds birth.I won't lie,it is no picnic for first few months but after that it has been delightful.If they are close together, when old enough they relate to each other.dd is SN and ds plays with her really well.She bumshuffles round after him and they laugh at each other and he is a really protective big brother.It makes me go all wibbly with love when they are in the bath.She tries to wash his hair and he cuddles her and they splash each other.Its gorgeous.I just blot out the first few months.(I think dd was unsettled as a baby cos of her SN though.My friend had a nightmare with no 1 and an angelic no 2 baby)

lomond · 01/11/2007 21:35

I felt exactly the same when I found out I was pregnant with no2. We had been trying but it still came as a shock, I phoned my best friend crying. Went through loads of different emotions, it is just shock I think. I felt so guilty for having these feelings but once it sunk in I was delighted.
How do you think your dh will feel?

Hope you feel better once it has sunk in.

expatinscotland · 01/11/2007 21:38

congrats!

i just found out am pregnant with no. 3 and it was a major shock!

still sinking in.

wrinklytum · 01/11/2007 21:44

I was worried about having no2,but I think it has done ds well having a sib and learning about sharing and caring for a sib.I was worried I would not love the second as much as the first.You do,though.The love just expands.Sometimes I feel I would like another but this is not possible as dp has just had chemo,and it would be unfair with dds Sn,BUT please do not worry,you will love the baby.It is hard but worth it xxxxx

wrinklytum · 01/11/2007 21:45

Ex pat CONGRATULATIONS!!!!hOW COOL IS THAT!!!!

wHEN ARE YOU DUE???

lomond · 01/11/2007 21:49

My DD1 was 3.5 when DD2 was born and all through my pregnancy I had this nagging feeling that I had done the wrong thing.

I thought I wouldn't have any 1 on 1 time with DD1.

I didn't think I could have the same overwhelming feelings of love for DD2 as I loved DD1 so much.

Was very worried that DD1 would be jealous of new baby.

None of this is the case!

I always make sure I spend some one on one time with her, when DD2 is napping, or when her dad is off work. I sometimes take her out without DD2 to do something that she wants to do.

I feel just as strongly for DD2 and it makes me love DD1 even more when I see just how in love with her little sister she is. Just this morning she sat next to me and looked at her sister and said "mummy I am so happy I have a little sister" I had a tear in my eye I can tell you. So proud of the way she is with her.

DD1 has shown no signs of jealousy directly to her sister. We get the occasional "mummy don't feed her now, do this" but you just have to deal with it in a way that doesn't make her feel left out.

Include her in day to day things, changing, feeding (getting bibs etc) and bathtime. New babies can be boring when they expect a wee playmate to pop out, lol.
Make sure she knows that the baby will not do much except eat, sleep for a while.

Don't spend your pregnancy worrying like I did. It will all be fine

sweetkitty · 01/11/2007 21:50

hiya I'm the same as expat just found out I'm pregnant with number 3 although ours was a little more planned (sorry expat ) even thought I was ttc I am still like "holy shit" what have we done and worry about the time with each one thing nevermind the money/car/house things. But I'm sure a few months after the baby is born, they will fit right into the family and we won't be able to imagine life without them.

I felt the same with DD2 how could I ever love another one like DD1, how was I going to cope with the 18 month age gao but she is an utter joy and I love having them so close together.

Original poster
ruby07 · 01/11/2007 21:50

You are all right... I think deep down I know this but it makes it all real hearing it from other Mums. Thank you.
Dh will be very happy but at the same time I think he will be concerned for my mental well being!!
Dd is 2 and a half and so will be 3yrs and 3 months when due. She loves babies at the mo however when I asked her in conversation today if she would like a baby in our house she said no!! I know she's too young to understand it all and we wouldn't tell her until atleast half way through the pregnancy.
Well I guess it's fingers crossed and lets go with the flow!! thank you all . Good luck to you all with your los. xx

OP posts:
fortyplus · 01/11/2007 21:51

ruby07 - congratulations. I've only got 18 months betwen my 2 and I can remember being consumed with guilt that ds1 was going to have to share my love with another child. Looking back, it seems crazy.

From your op it sounds as though your dh is more keen than you for the 2nd child? If that's the case, why not phone and tell him? He'll be missing you all and it'll cheer him up

wrinklytum · 01/11/2007 21:53

Aaah,go on,tell him!!!

lomond · 01/11/2007 21:57

I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself I would tell!

fortyplus · 01/11/2007 21:59

Tell him, tell him!

ScoobyDooooo · 01/11/2007 22:01

Congratulations, i have a 3.3 years between my ds & dd i think it is a great gap & also a bit easier as ds was at nusery 5 mornings when dd was born, i had my time with dd when ds was at nusery.

I am not going to lie it does get hard at times however i found the first 12 months the easiest i am struggling now more ds is 5 & dd is 21 months.

I would tell your Dh so you can talk about with him

expatinscotland · 01/11/2007 22:02

due 2 July 2008, my dad's 72 birthday.

paulaplumpbottom · 01/11/2007 22:06

Everyone has misgivings at some point. Just remember that you will love the second just as much as you love the first

NAB3sparklesandflashes · 02/11/2007 08:00

If I can (just about) do it anyone can!

My eldest was 2 and 4 months when his sister came along and she was 22 months when her brother came along. I have had PND every time and AND with the last one. I have no family at all and very few friends (er, one) so spend a lot of time on my own with them.

It will be worth it in the long run!

Have you told your Dh yet?