5 weeks please tell me the anxiety gets better?

[icecreamsundaesprinkles]

As the title suggests I'm 5 weeks pregnant however I have developed quite bad anxiety about having miscarriages/still births/SIDS. Does this get easier with time is it even normal?

Hi @icecreamsundaesprinkles. I'm sorry to read that you're suffering with anxiety. Honest answer.... You will feel better after the 12 and 20 week scans. But this is the start of worrying about your little one for the rest of your life! I have a 4.5 yo DS and a 2.5 yo DD, had a MC last October and just found out today that I'm due this October. Already worrying! But it's normal. If you feel however that you're worrying excessively, please contact your GP. Also, meditation and reading books such as Good vibes, Good life etc.. really help. Sending you all the best for a healthy and happy pregnancy!

@Bunnyears85 congrats on the pregnancy and sorry to hear about the MC. I thought it would be pretty normal however it seems a bit excessive to the point I have a tight chest and belly ache i had a missed miscarriage in November which resulted in needing surgical management and honestly I'm terrified of that again.

@icecreamsundaesprinkles I'm so sorry ot hear about your MMC, I know the surgical management is incredibly tough too. I'm so sorry. I would consider calling your GP. I was on Sertraline and Citalopram (at different times for anxiety) during both healthy pregnancies so may be worth seeing some support. Thinking of you

There are always worries during pregnancy but as you pass milestones the excitement overtakes the worry.
Try to relax and step away from the search engine.

Sorry to say op but in my experience no. My ds is now 10 month and I still worry so much that he's still in our room (in his cot) but you learn to cope with it. Congratulations on your pregnancy and just try and put the thoughts to the back of your mind and enjoy being pregnant x

I think it gets easier once you get past certain scans, to viability etc. I guess from my point of view I was quite reassured by the statistics. I think it depends a bit on how much of a worrier you are generally. I was quite anxious in the first trimester but once I got to about 20 weeks I felt a lot better. This wasn't because I didn't think anything could go wrong, but because I couldn't really contemplate how I would/feel cope if it did - so I just stopped thinking about it. I find it easier now she is here too, I worry about things in the future but I can look at her and listen to her breath and know right now she is okay.

I suffer with anxiety that was triggered by MC (always a bit of a worrier - MC made this pretty extreme) and it never quite goes away. But it does get easier e.g. after 12 wk and 20 wk scan, when you start feeling movements etc. I have counselling which really helps me and try to manage by focusing on the road just in front of me rather than planning too far ahead.

There were 2 milestones for me that helped significantly with anxiety: 1. 20 week anomaly scan, 2. When you can feel movements.
The anxiety never actually went away for me, I never suffered from morning sickness, only severe lethargy, so had no classic pregnancy symptoms. Movements made me feel this was really happening.
Before then I was constantly reading statistics around miscarriage rates by maternal age and gestation.

The anxiety will relieve a little at the first scan so if you can afford it and if it will help I'd recommend an early scan (from around 8 weeks as you can't see much before then). Then it relieves a little more as you get test results, hear heartbeat at a midwife appointment, etc. But atm I'm 17 weeks and the anxiety about the 20 week scan is mounting again!

So I don't think the anxiety will ever go away but it comes and goes in phases. I dread to think what I'll be like when baby is here.. I don't think I'll ever actually sleep as I am so worried about things like SIDS etc.

I am really struggling too. I can't think about anything else. I need to get on with work but I can't concentrate. DP is getting fed up with me talking about it. I am petrified something bad is going to happen. My cat bit me this morning too so now I am worrying about that. I had symptoms over the weekend, now I have nothing. I am so desperate for this baby but petrified its going to go wrong.

Oh OP you are preaching to the choir sister. I had a major panic until 6 weeks, I’m 9+2 now but I still check for spotting when I wipe every time I go to the toilet, but what’s kept me going is as long as I can feel at least one pregnancy symptom at a time and have no cramps or bleeding I’m fine (please no one ruin that for me!
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk

@yellowbeaker you sound exactly like I was. You do need to find something to help cope with that extreme anxiety - it's exhausting. Early on I definitely found it helped to focus on getting to the next weekend rather than thinking longer term and I had to distract myself - I couldn't stop the thoughts coming in but doing puzzles or learning something new (I got my flute out after about 20 years gathering dust!) helped give me a bit of a mental break. I do hope you start to feel better.

@BlueberryPancake21 thanks for the reply. DP calmed me down a bit earlier and I had a nap- i can catch up on work this evening. I need an early scan so he said if we haven't heard by Wednesday we should call the midwives and then we can hold on to that date and work towards it. just feels so surreal. After years of trying I thought it would never happen. Now I am petrified.

Thanks for the replies everyone, got an appointment with a midwife on Tuesday. I cannot stop taking tests?? Unfortunately my partner is very laid back so doesn't quite understand and just says 'nothing will happen' men..

Good luck @yellowbeaker! When you've been TTC a long time you can bring a lot of emotional baggage into the pregnancy which is easy to underestimate - I know I'd had years of thinking there was something wrong with me because I couldn't get PG which logically should've gone away when I proved I could but somehow didn't and just transferred itself to the pregnancy instead. I was a rational person before TTC/PG! It definitely helps to have some dates in the diary. I hope your scan goes well and glad DP was able to help - makes a massive difference.

@icecreamsundaesprinkles I think test taking is normal even if not helpful! I hope your MW appointment goes well. Be prepared for a bit of a let down - the first one is usually pretty unexciting. I found it difficult at the beginning that DH didn't understand my worry but actually over time it's been really helpful to have one of us feeling positive about everything! I hope everything goes well for you and you start to settle in and enjoy it.

Nothing I can say here apart from I can fully sympathise! I’m 4 weeks tomorrow and have been worrying constantly since I got a positive test! I will be looking to have a scan (When I can) to hopefully see a heartbeat but trying to take every day as it comes, stay off Google and embrace “I am pregnant today” to try and relax my mind. Staying off Google and not overthinking is critical from what I’ve read so far! Wishing my fellow worriers happy, healthy pregnancies - We are all in this together

I had a MC at 5 weeks last year. Currently 15 weeks with this pregnancy. The first few weeks I was really anxious- constantly running to the loo to check for blood etc. What helped was taking it day by day, having an early scan at 8 1/2 weeks and feeling symptoms (still have all day nausea even now which was reassuring and is now tedious!). I'm still anxious about lots of things and I will be before my 20 week scan but I do feel calmer now! Try and stay off Google (easier said than done) and take each day/stage as it comes. You will be surprised by how quickly time goes. Also congratulations!

I'm just over 11 weeks and so anxious. I had a MC last year and it was quite a traumatic experience, I ended up overnight in hospital due to the bleeding. At my booking appointment my midwife said every day that passes reduces the risk, which I'm holding on to.

I'm paranoid I'm not actually pregnant, I took a test, it was positive, but not done one since. I thought there's be a confirmatory test at the booking appointment, but there wasn't and now I'm so scared that I'll get to my 12 week scan and I won't be pregnant and it will have all been a big mistake.

Then there's SID and still birth and other life limiting illnesses and sometimes I just feel like it's all too much. I know some of this is just hormones, but it feels all encompassing sometimes. The other thing I'm trying to remember is that stories on MN etc tend to be the extreme, people don't post on forums for help when things are going normally!!

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant. Only my husband knows and he's been super supportive, but I can't wait to have other people to share my fears with.

@Andthenanothercupoftea very sorry to hear that.I am also terrified and having the same fears. I hope it all goes well for you and you feel better soon. Have you spoke to anyone?

@Rosejulia88 congratulations and sorry you felt that way. I think I want to get an early scan.

I'm just a bit behind you, 4+4 and can definitely relate! This is my first pregnancy so I don't know what to expect at all, and I feel like every little twinge is something going wrong x

Hi OP, I'm 26+6 and the first 12 weeks were awful, I was so so anxious about having another miscarriage. Then I spent from the 12 week scan until the 20 week scan worrying about what the anomaly scan would show.

Now I can feel her kicking me and moving about but I'm constantly worrying about reduced movement and also worried about stillbirth.

The worry seems endless!

@Sunflowerx yes me too, have you had any symptoms? Congrats x

@ShalomToYouJackie I suppose the worry is only natural however it's all I seem to think about congratulations on the pregnancy x

@icecreamsundaesprinkles my boobs are on and off tender and have definitely grown, I'm absolutely knackered all the time and seem to be getting really picky with food! Also having minor cramping which is apparently normal xx