how does midwife reveal the gender?

[raaga]

Hi,

We would like to host a gender reveal party. We want midwife to tell a third person about the gender so they can arrange the party accordingly. Can we speak to midwife to let third person know about the gender? is it possible? once the scan is complete, can we give a third person number so they can text them directly. Please suggest.

Thanks

At my 20 week scan I didn't want to find out, but chatted with the sonographer about the procedure for people who want to know but whose partner couldn't attend because of covid. She told me they aren't allowed to write it down. I was relieved to be team yellow, to be fair! (I've always found out before but want the surprise this time, and thank goodness my sono was very careful to avoid the potty shot area because I have eagle eyes lol).

If you can treat yourself to a gender scan, your partner could go with you, and you could get a variety of gender-reveal-thingies to use at your reveal. I had a private gender scan with one of mine, at a Babybond place, it was really nice, I remember it fondly, it was nice to have a scan that was purely elective, and that wasn't coming with the tension of a 12 or 20 week scan!

This is unbelievably tacky. Don't do it. Nobody except yourselves will care the sex of your baby.

I doubt they would. In my trust they won’t even write it down, they will just tell you verbally. You might have better luck with a private scan.

Hi!

My DH and I decided not to find out the sex of our child until the day of the birth, but our sonographer was kind enough to ask us if we wanted to know or if we wanted it written on a piece of paper and placed into an envelope. (currently 37 +6 days)

I do not see that as being too troubling. It wouldn't hurt to ask your sonographer, just make sure you bring an envelope just in case :)

Good luck and congratulations!

I wonder once she’s contacted your aunty sue and your bff Sandra if she’d pop out the back and place some blue/pink balloons into a box for you OR maybe she could whip up a cake right after she’s done the scan with a coloured centre for you to cut 🤣🤣🤣🤣? Worth asking?

The mind boggles.

Surely you'd just ask them to write it on a piece of paper. They are busy enough!

The best you can hope for is for the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper. Bring the envelope and paper - they may still say no and so don't argue. Asking them to do extra work like text or call someone is too much and against their policies. Like others have said a private scan is best for this kind of thing as they will accommodate it better.

I had my 20-week scan yesterday. We're not planning on knowing the sex but the sonographer did ask us if we wanted to know so they're obviously aware that's something patients often want, but they can't always see clearly. And it's just an extra on their part.

@TooManyDinosaurs1

I wonder once she’s contacted your aunty sue and your bff Sandra if she’d pop out the back and place some blue/pink balloons into a box for you OR maybe she could whip up a cake right after she’s done the scan with a coloured centre for you to cut 🤣🤣🤣🤣? Worth asking?

The mind boggles.

Is there any need to be so rude? Do you ever stop to consider that whilst sat behind a screen tapping away viciously your words could have an effect on the people they are unnecessarily aimed at?

If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all goes a long way.

This is aimed at all of the horrible people on here who have been just pure rude and bullying towards the OP but to be honest I cannot be bothered to scroll through any more of these replies to call anyone else out on it because quite frankly it's sad how many horrible people there are out there who get kicks out of going on the internet just to try and upset others.
She hasn't killed a small puppy!!

Sex, ffs. Not gender.

@TooManyDinosaurs1 🤣

Gosh OP, we are in a pandemic, do you really think medical staff are going to prioritise facilitating gender reveals? I always asked the sex, and every time they were very non committal about it, so the majority of NHS would probably be very wary to write anything down.

@SpiderGwen

Sex, ffs. Not gender.

My thought too, it must be an especially fancy bit of equipment to be able to tell someone's gender!

Oh god here come the sex/gender police now 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

OP I had my 20 week scan at the height of lockdown one. So my partner couldn't come, I asked the sonographer if they were able to see (as PPs have said they can't always) would they be happy to write it in a card for us so that DH and I could open it together

We still have the card and have put a scan pic in it, it's a lovely keepsake

Just be aware some don't like to write it down as it's not 100%

I should add mine was an nhs appointment.
I think you just have to approach it as understanding the main thing is the health but if they have chance ... and not be too upset if that can't for any reason

just want to know if they can message someone we know.

Jesus some people are entitled and moronic - it's a MEDICAL procedure not a day out - so you think the sonographer has the time and inclination to be messaging your friends - and whose phone would they use? Hardly going to whip out their own and start texting a stranger so they would use yours in which case you'd see the message in your sent messages 🤷‍♀️🤔

I can't believe some of the replies on this thread! Some people clearly enjoy being horrible for the sake of if.

Hope you got the answer you were after @raaga 😊

It was a ridiculous request though.

However ridiculous you think the request is try not to shot the OP down in flames.
I’m sure every women knows that the 20 week scan is to check the baby is ok but also you can have the joy of finding out IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!!
OP my sonographers were lovely as my DP couldn’t attend the scans. They asked if we wanted to know the sex and I said no as DP wasn’t here and She offered to write it down.
Baby revels aren’t my thing but if that’s what you want to do speak to them. A little happiness in this strange time doesn’t hurt anyone!!!!!!

The main thing is that your baby is healthy. Agree with what others have said, other than yourself and your partner and any other kids you have, no one really cares about the sex/gender (🙄🙄). Gender reveals are horribly self indulgent and tacky, IMHO.

I'm pretty sure anyone working in the NHS has enough to do right now

The 20 week scan is an anomaly scan. It is not undertaken to give you an idea of the sex of your child- that the sex can usually be seen at this scan is a nice bonus but not the point of it. You can ask the sonographer not to tell you the likely sex. Then get a private scan somewhere solely for the purposes of this and ask them to play along with your sex reveal thing.

It can be done, but please don't ask at an NHS scan.

As others have said the NHS 20 week scan is a medical examination that is checking the development of your baby. Even though sex of baby can often be seen at this point and the sonographer may ask if you'd like to know, it's not usual practice for them to write it down or message a friend or relative.

Please get a private scan, I'm sure they will be more than happy to write the baby's sex on a piece of paper/card and put it in envelope for you. You can then pass on to your friend or relative to reveal at your shower.

I had my anatomy scan last April and my husband was not allowed to attend. There were signs everywhere saying you are unable to record and we won't write the sex down for you, I think it's fairly standard for NHS. They said to me they believed my daughter was female (when I asked and at the end of the scan), though I knew it was the case because I'd had a blood test.

Go for a private scan, though be aware that many of these places are not medically trained sonographers.