Will I love second child as much as my first?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

Just looking for some reassurance. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my second and for some reason have started worrying that I won't bond as well with number 2, I keep thinking he's bound to be a more challenging baby as our first has been a fairly 'easy' baby in terms of sleep, feeding etc. I don't know why I'm thinking this. This baby was/is very much wanted. Am I being silly?

This was my biggest concern with my second. Yes you love them instantly as much, I felt I enjoyed the early days more aswell simply because I actually knew what I was doing. All babies are different aswell, number two was my trickiest. Suffered awfully from croup, has a severe allergy to sleep (still does at 9 years old) and needed to be attached to me constantly. You just love the crazy individuals they are

Thank you that's reassuring. I worry as well that my son will struggle with the change and how they heck I'm going to cope with two haha. I think becaue my first has inconveniently dropped his nap just before I'm due! It's a whole new level of worry second time round haha

Yes instead of your love dividing it doubles 😀

I’ve been worrying about this too. My first is 9 and we are so close. Everyone keeps telling me I’ll love this one just the same

Oh you will, totally. Even if it doesn't happen instantly, it will happen. There is no limit on the amount of love you can hold in your heart.

It felt like my love for dc2 had been primed by my love for dc1.

I also felt the same with my second because I was feeling so guilty that ds1 would now be sharing his mummy... as pp said - your love doubles, not divides! Do not worry

Yes, I agree with PP, the love doubles rather than divides. It’s infinite. I don’t know how old your DS is OP, I had a 21 month gap between my two DS’ they are 19 & 17 now & the best of friends as well as brothers, DS1 can’t remember a time his brother wasn’t there, we didn’t experience any jealousy at all. Good luck and try not to worry

Yes 🥰

It’s a normal concern to have but please don’t worry

Yes, you will.

Oh yes, you absolutely will!

You will be smitten! It's hard to imagine that you can love another as much as your first but you do.
As someone already said you will have more confidence with your second and will be more relaxed.

Yes

You really will, I worried the same when I was pregnant with dd.

Oh my goodness yes!

I’m currently sat here with ds2 (14) and the idea that I don’t love him as much as ds1 (17) is madness and the same for younger dd. They are the best people in my whole world and a complete joy, no contest about how much I love each of them.

Yes. Your heart makes more space for the new baby - they don't have to share the existing space.

Just to warn you, your older child will suddenly seem alarmingly huge, in my experience. I spent 10 minutes ugly crying at the size of DS1's hands after DS2 was born

Ha @LadyMonicaBaddingham that’s so true! DS1 was 22 months and seemed like an absolute giant. I wonder what he will seem like now at 5!

You will definitely love your 2nd child, try not to worry

I love that quote above "your love doubles not divides" 😍
I've had the same worries, I'm due DS2 in a few days, and I actually said out loud when talking to DH about how toddler will react to a baby "he'll always be our number 1" ..
It just came out , but obviously that won't be true anymore, he and his brother will equal yet it's hard to imagine that right now

Yes!!!!!!!
I was so worried about that too, but definitely yes x

This is a really normal worry to have - but totally unfounded. You will live your second child just as much.

Second children are much easier in a lot if ways, not least as you've already worked out how you want to mother - you've already worked out all the answers to the questions you have the first time round - breast or bottle feed? Try for a routine or go with the flow? Co-sleep or not? Do you need a sling/crib/travelsystem? Which one? Baby led weaning or purees? How on earth can you have a shower / coffee / second to yourself when this little human needs you ALL THE TIME! etc etc.

All this stuff is miles easier as you know what works for you now. Of course you may have to adapt for your second child's personality but I found all this a doddle second time round.

Oh absolutely you will.
I thought "how am I supposed to love another kiddo as much as my first" and it's like rather than sharing the love you have, you somehow gain more love to spread around. So baby number 2 doesn't share child number 1's love, they get their very own share. It's a bit special really x

No. All children who aren't lucky enough to be the firstborn go unloved, sadly.

Not really. Babies bring a biiiig old bag of love with them when they're born, exactly like when your first was born. Don't worry about it.

I felt sorry for my first because I didn't feel that rush of love for her straightaway whereas with my second I did. However I had a much easier birth with DD2 and wasn't in shock of how much it hurt so that's probably why!

Don’t worry, you will love the second as much as the first.
In fact I found the real challenge to be making time for my first child to have one on one time with me after #2 came along. So I had to consciously hand baby #2 off to DH so I could play with my #1 toddler.

absolutely (and my second is definitely a 'difficult' DC in comparison to my first)

I think many people worry about this. There's no need to though. Your love just grows. It's like magic.