Will I love second child as much as my first?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

Just looking for some reassurance. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my second and for some reason have started worrying that I won't bond as well with number 2, I keep thinking he's bound to be a more challenging baby as our first has been a fairly 'easy' baby in terms of sleep, feeding etc. I don't know why I'm thinking this. This baby was/is very much wanted. Am I being silly?

Absolutely!

It’s a worry so many of us experience: “my first is the light of my life, how can I love another child?”

But you do and you will.

And you’ll also see their relationship independent of you grow and develop.

Take heart, @Higgeldypiggeldy35, it will be ok.

Thank you all so much for the reassuring comments. We are completely smitten with number 1 and I'm so excited for him to have a brother. I feel a lot less worried about it all now. Thank you

Of course you will. My second was a bloody devil child (still is a lot of the time and he's 7) but I love him just as much as my relatively easy first.

33 weeks with exactly the same fear! I know intellectually that second children are loved just as much as first, but I find it hard to imagine loving the baby like I do DS. I feel a bit guilty that I've felt much less bonded to this one in pregnancy than I did DS - DS was long awaited after multiple miscarriages and it was a complicated, anxious pregnancy that I thought about every day everyday while desperately waiting to meet him. This one was a (very welcome) surprise, the pregnancy has been textbook and while I definitely notice I'm pregnant (I'm super uncomfortable with SPD) between DS, work, life I quite often forget there's a baby in there on his way!

@hardbackwriter. I think I'm the opposite in that my first pregnancy was a breeze and I had so much fun meeting next ladies for cake and going to the gym. This time round I've piled on the weight, mentally it's been a slog due to lock down and I've had hip/pelvic pain and issues with my blood pressure. I cant wait not to be pregnant this time round!

That should have said meeting NCT ladies

Yes you are being silly but it is totally normal and I wondered too. I went crying to my mum asking her the same thing and she said, 'mothers don't just have a set amount of love to share out between their kids, so your eldest won't get it all and there be nothing left for any of the others. Each child has their own personality and brings their own joy for you to enjoy. You will love them all'. She was right and I do. I had a harder time firstime around whereas I was a lot more relaxed with ds, he was a bigger baby and had no feeding issues. Similar to other posters I had to consciously pass ds to family members so I could play with dd and get one on one time with her in the early days.

Try not to worry x

You’ll have absolutely nothing to worry about when your baby is here, no doubt about it you’ll love them both equally! I worried about this with my 2nd but honestly do love them both the same!

My Nanna always said 'with each new baby, you don't have to find the love, they bring it with them' which I thought was so sweet! She had 4 kids and said she never had to worry if she'd be able to bond with them as she knew they'd bring with them the love and strength she needed for that particular child. 🥰

It is very hard to imagine loving another child when you have the one. I was in the same position last year and I remember crying to DP thinking my first would feel pushed out, or my second would feel left out. Or how could I possibly share the love between them both, impossible!

What a load of nonsense, and like PP says you dont have to share the love out, the love just doubles. I still feel the same about my eldest, all that's changed is I look at another child and feel the exact same thing. It's a horrible feeling though so I understand, i used to roll my eyes when people said this to me but just trust me, you will all be fine.

Thank you everyone these stories are lovely. Currently in hospital because my HR is high for some reason and I have protein in my urine so you're cheering me up.