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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Telling work!

31 replies

KHR1 · 28/12/2020 09:36

Hi, I very recently found out I'm pregnant with my second and I'm about 4 weeks along. I work as a teacher and think it might be a good idea to tell my boss early due to covid risk assessments.
I suffer with anxiety and despite not being in work for another week, literally shake at the thought of telling my boss. I'm sure she will be fine but I'm just really not good at these conversations. Any advice?

OP posts:
boymum88 · 28/12/2020 09:48

Could you send her an email this week as a heads up ? Then the pressure is off the face to face conversation. You Don't have to tell her your pregnant could just say you have some happy news to discuss with her and hopefully she should guess.
You could also write down and go through with ur partner what points if any you would like raised in your risk assessment x

Butterfly93 · 28/12/2020 10:44

Usually people wait the 3 months mark, to avoid having to talk to them/answer questions in case of a MC. I would definitely wait x

Lifeonmars12 · 28/12/2020 10:47

I told my boss the morning I did my test as I was in such shock. To be fair it was nice to share it with her and have someone besides my partner to talk to about it.

FairfaxAikman · 28/12/2020 10:47

@Butterfly93

Usually people wait the 3 months mark, to avoid having to talk to them/answer questions in case of a MC. I would definitely wait x
Sometimes you have to tell work earlier so you're not put at risk - I had to tell at six weeks to avoid riskier assignments. The OP said this was the case due to the current covid risk.
EagleFlight · 28/12/2020 10:49

@Butterfly93

Usually people wait the 3 months mark, to avoid having to talk to them/answer questions in case of a MC. I would definitely wait x
Please don’t follow this advice. For a start, you will need time off for a midwife appointment and scan (at the least). You are also teaching in the middle of a pandemic and it’s very important you have a risk assessment completed and your employer aware as soon as possible.
Original poster
KHR1 · 28/12/2020 11:33

@Butterfly93 last time I did wait until 3 months and if it wasn't for covid, I would again but I don't think this is a great idea given covid as a more comprehensive risk assessment will need to be done.

OP posts:
Original poster
KHR1 · 28/12/2020 11:35

@boymum88 thank you, that's a good idea! It would remove the awkwardness of trying to find a time that's free as she will know I want to see her!

OP posts:
Edelweiss2020 · 28/12/2020 11:40

I’m work in home care and very rarely see our managers so telling mine was quite hard, I emailed the deputy manager saying I wanted to speak to someone about a COVID risk assessment as my personal circumstances had changed and she passed me on to someone who does all that. Had a good chat with this person and she agreed to just tell the deputy manager until I was happy with others knowing. Now having 6 weekly chats and risk assessments and it’s going fine. The first bit is the scariest, I’m sure your boss will be so happy for you :)

melly76x · 28/12/2020 13:04

I am also in this situation, not ready to tell work as only 7 weeks but with COVID and what my job entails I know I should. Only problem is I have 3 bosses so would have to tell all 3 and I haven't even told my parents yet as I was hoping to wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone!

Original poster
KHR1 · 28/12/2020 13:27

@melly76x me too, last time I told one friend before 12 weeks and that was it. I will feel so bad my boss knowing before my parents but I don't want to tell them just because I should tell work. Then I'm not sure who my boss would view as 'needing to know' if that makes sense?

OP posts:
secondorange · 28/12/2020 16:54

I remember just about shitting myself from fear when I told work, hugs! It will all be ok and they'll be lovely I am sure. I like the suggestion of sending an email. You could either spill it over email or ask for a time to chat via email- then you've got it locked in, uninterrupted. I agree telling early might be good but do whatever you are most comfortable with xx

Ballen · 28/12/2020 17:44

I'm also a teacher and in the same situation. My HoS is male and I'm not sure how he's going to take the news. I also feel bad telling him before my family. However, as I work in EY and I have one child with severe addictional needs (which means he can lash out and he's a flight risk) added to COVID risks I feel I have no choice but to tell him on the first day back. I am hoping he will be understanding and discreet (especially as my dd is in the same school and dh and I are waiting until our 12 week scan to tell her).
If you have any concerns I would suggest talking to your union to find out what the school is expected to do to support you. I know most unions atm are suggesting working from home from 28 weeks but I'm not sure if there are any other measures schools are having to take to protect pregnant staff in current times.
Good luck 😊

TitsOot4Xmas · 28/12/2020 17:47

[quote KHR1]@Butterfly93 last time I did wait until 3 months and if it wasn't for covid, I would again but I don't think this is a great idea given covid as a more comprehensive risk assessment will need to be done.[/quote]
Covid risk assessment due to pregnancy not needed until 28 weeks.

TitsOot4Xmas · 28/12/2020 17:49

And even then the advice is not “work from home” anymore.

(There are no known risks - initially it was thought that if mum caught Covid shortly before delivery it could pass to baby, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.)

ChanklyBore · 28/12/2020 17:54

I knew people would be along going on about waiting till 12 weeks.
There is nothing magical about 12 weeks.
I’ve waited until 12 weeks more than once and it never protected me against miscarrying or losing babies later.
Tell people whenever you like.
Email if you feel more comfortable. I’d suggest mentioning you are informing for practical reasons only, so ask for discretion and for them and to hold off on any congratulations or personal comments until later on after you have told family, and feel more comfortable in terms of viability.

FirstTimeMummy2021 · 28/12/2020 18:21

I told my line manager last week as I was approaching the 12 week mark. She was the first person I had told but we have now told our families even though our scan is coming up this week. I was also worried about telling her, it felt like a huge step in my head even though I knew she would be pleased. My advice is to let them know whenever you feel it is right for you. I work in a high risk environment for COVID and we have to do a risk assessment straight away.

Feebes27 · 28/12/2020 18:28

I'm a teacher as well and person in charge or risk assessments within a few days of finding out. I wanted them to know so they could do risk assessments and do the right thing by me if we got lots of cases.

PotteringAlong · 28/12/2020 18:30

I’m a teacher too and my head was the first person other than husband I told for all 3 pregnancies.

Springersprung · 28/12/2020 18:44

This is the most up-to-date guidance re. risk assessments and working conditions. Published on 23rd Dec. Absolutely does recommend getting a risk assessment done and advice for reaching 28 weeks.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-advice-for-pregnant-employees/coronavirus-covid-19-advice-for-pregnant-employees

boymum88 · 28/12/2020 18:45

These are the new guidelines for pregnant workers that came out just before Christmas

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-advice-for-pregnant-employees/coronavirus-covid-19-advice-for-pregnant-employees

Original poster
KHR1 · 28/12/2020 19:50

@Springersprung and @boymum88 thank you for the links, I didn't realise this information had been updated so recently!

@Feebes27, that's the thing, I kind of feel like the sooner they know, the sooner they can help if needed (even if it's from other non-covid things)

OP posts:
melly76x · 28/12/2020 20:43

Iv decided I'm going to send an email to just one of my bosses and hope there is a way it can stay just between me and her until I feel comfortable with more people knowing (after I tell family)

I'm going to do this after new year and just explain everything over email (a lot of my contact with managers is via email anyway)

Good luck x

Original poster
KHR1 · 28/12/2020 21:10

Thank you and good luck @melly76x x

OP posts:
tikha · 28/12/2020 21:23

Am 7 weeks and thinking of telling work as I work on the frontline with covid. Its not the actual covid as I understand the risk is low if you catch it in first trimester it's the actual exhaustion and intensity of the work required that am finding hard to keep up with

justchecking1 · 28/12/2020 22:11

The RCOG guidance suggests there is no increased risk in pregnancy from COVID prior to 28 weeks. COVID alone is unlikely to change any of your working practices or your employers responsibilities to you.

You may need a risk assessment based on non-COVID factors though.