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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Only 14 months between my two babies - looking for reassurance and advice

32 replies

mclaughlinsamantha · 22/10/2007 20:03

Was just wondering if anybody can offer any words of comfort. I am expecting my second baby in December by which time my little girl will be 14 months old. Everyone I come into contact with seems to put a negative spin on things - all they ever say is "oh, you'll be busy!" or "I bet this one was an accident!"

Can anyone tell me what it's like having a short age-gap between their children.

Thanks a lot.

Sam

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mmjeozz · 22/10/2007 20:05

16 months between mine and I wouldnt have it any other way! Its great they are best friends play with each other and go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time it's so easy!
Good luck, you'll be fine!

Megglevampire · 22/10/2007 20:06

Oh Sam, what a load of rubbish don't listen to them. I know loads of mums who have the same gap and I was for a long time. All kids in question now get on like houses on fire (and scrap pretty well too!)

It's not double the work but boy isn't it twice as fantastic is what my friend always says.

Congratulations by the way- I hope you get lots of positive replies- oh and also while I am still typing how bloody rude of someone to say is it an accident

tribpot · 22/10/2007 20:06

Congratulations! You'll definitely find positive stories on MN, so fear not. I have a friend whose two little boys are almost exactly 12 months apart, so life is survivable! Of course you'll be busy, anyone with two kids is busy.

Don't let the comments spoil your pregnancy; there are pros and cons to having children close in age, whatever anyone thinks you are going to have a 14 month old and a newborn, they have to deal with that and so do you!

Bluestocking · 22/10/2007 20:08

I can only tell you from the point of view of one of the children! I was thirteen months old when my sister was born and it's the best thing ever. Apart from a brief period during adolescence when we hated each other, we've always been as close as can be and the very best of friends. Enjoy, enjoy!

fawkeoff · 22/10/2007 20:08

one of my SILs have a 13 month age gap between her dds, she was worried but she just adjusted, she thought it was a blessing really because it was all fresh in her head

professorplum · 22/10/2007 20:17

Mine are 18 months apart and i think its easier than a bigger gap. When dc2 was born dc1 was still going to bed at 7 and having a 2 hour nap every day so I had plenty of time to rest compared to someone with a 3 year gap. They play together all the time and like doing the same activities so days out etc are easy. My friend has a 11 month gap and I do think that she has struggled more than me do to things like her dc1 not walking until the baby was about 3 months so she had to carry both of them. Don't worry, it will be brilliant.

omeN666 · 22/10/2007 20:22

Congrates to you

All I am going to say is fab!!
I have 3 children, 2.2yrs between ds and dd1 then 12mths between dd1 and dd2. The girls[now 22m and 9m] are fantastic with each other and look out for each other all the time. they play fairly nicely and adore each other[as does ds]. I wont lie, it has been hard when they have all been teething/ill but I think regardless of age it would have been hard. Everyone will pass a comment regardless..having 3 close together I got lots of dont you have a tv, dont you know how kids are made etc etc blah blah blah. I just smiled and walked away.

bloodsuckingLOONEY · 22/10/2007 20:40

I've only got one ds (no 2 on the way) but am childminder to sisters 17 months apart in age - started with 2nd baby at 7 weeks old, having had big sister since she was 6 months old. It's a FAB age gap, big sister is only just 2 but plays mum to her and is really protective - they always giggle to each other and well......I wish I wasn't having such a big gap!!! (ds is 4.7)

Enjoy!

Emskilou · 22/10/2007 20:43

Hello, not been on here for ages, Feb was the last time I think, anyway, my dcs are 14 months apart, dd born Nov 04, ds Jan 06, the worst thing is the fact that christmas is in between!! Seriously though it is hard work but in a good way, you also be surprised how much your little girl will help and love helping with the new arrival, dont worry, you'll be fine and if I can do it anyone can!

midnightexpressmwahaha · 22/10/2007 21:35

I've got 14 months between my two. Yes, it was an accident, and yes I am busy, but it's also great fun, and I'm hoping it'll be even more fun as they get bigger (now 9m and nearly 2). Every morning ds1 gets up and asks 'where's the bubba?' then charges into his room as soon as he's allowed, where they laugh hysterically at each other. 10 minutes later ds1 is shoving ds2 over or sitting on top of him .

In some ways, I think it would be more difficult having a newborn and a 2 year old than this way - when ds2 was born, ds1 was at a stage where he took it all in his stride - I think he'd find it much more difficult now than he did then.

One thing I'd say is to get as much help as possible for the first few weeks.

Congratulations! You'll be fine. Exhausted, but fine.

PregnantGrrrl · 22/10/2007 21:40

Hi! I am due NOW and there'll be 16mths between mine. I am a little apprehensive, but keeping it in mind that whatever the age gap you leave, there are negatives to be found somewhere.

I also had to spend a good portion of the first few months of pregnancy pointing out that both my kids are planned and wanted, and this baby isn't an accident- people are so fecking rude!

I'm looking at it this way- in a few years there'll be no more nappies, cots, bottles, night wakings etc. They will reach similar milestones when a bit older- starting school together, being able to ride a bike etc, which will be lovely, and will also avoid a much older child being annoyed at a younger, slower 'less fun' sibling.

You will manage i am sure, as will i. I'm sure there'll be tough times, but you get that anyway, regardless of age differences.

TheMadScaryHouse · 22/10/2007 21:42

15 months betweenmy boys, first three months were shit, remainder has been wondersful. Maybe not plansed but much wanted and a real blessing

fees · 22/10/2007 21:47

Hi there are 11 months between my sister and I and she is to this day the best friend i will ever have we are incredibly close always have been. My mum said it was hard initially but she adored having us so close so it didn't put her off she tried to do the same ten years later which resulted in my other sisters being 14 months apart!!

Good Luck!

lulurose · 22/10/2007 21:51

My dds are 14 months apart and the first year of having two was hard work but its paying off now. They are each others best friend and protect each other, play together and its great. Don't regret the gap at all, I hope they will stay close in the future. Don't let anyone put a negative spin on things, you will be fine.

Beenleigh · 22/10/2007 22:02

I have 14 months and 11 days between mine; dd2 is now 9 months and dd1 23 months. It is ace! I would not swap a minute of it for the world.
Only advice would be to expect the worst, it won;t be anywhere near as bad as you think! They are so lovely together, I get tears in my eyes every day from watching them interact.
When DD2 born in hospital, I met DD1 in corridor and took her in to meet DD2 so her first viewing wasn't of me holding her. Also, they gave eachother gifts, DD1 gave a stripey monkey toy and DD2 gave a rubbish doll, wish I'd got something better.
Always referred to dd2 as dd1s baby sister, the result has been that dd1 just thought thta dd2 was a really good present for her.
Would be happy to go on and on if it;s any help, but seriously, having a baby is hard, really hard, but it's nowhere near as hard second time around as it was first time. I actually found the last few weeks of pregnancy harder than when DD2 was born because I was just so tired.
One thing that has helped me; I was introduced to someone through the nct who had the same age gap when we were pregnant, and this has been fabulous! We've really become good friends and it's so lovely to have someone to understand. Maybe see if there are meet ups on here.
Also., it won;t be long before all your friends are doing the same, and you;ll have already got the hardest bit out of the way with.
I often think a bigger age gap is harder in a way, your oldest will be too young to really feel jealous, and tbh, until they're old enough to actually help, there's not much difference.
Congratulations.

Beenleigh · 22/10/2007 22:04

midnightexpress, sounds like ours are the same age!

NoviceKnitter · 22/10/2007 23:20

Apart from how the siblings end up getting on - what about your body? How did it cope with two pregnancies so close?

tripletsandtwins · 23/10/2007 00:21

Don't listen to them! I had mine 2 minutes apart and there were 3 of them and we coped fine! LOL.

People can be so negative! Don't let it get you down or scare you...it's very doable, and once you get your routine sorted you'll do just fine!

Yes, it can be hard at times because they'll both demand a lot of you, but you'll get through it just fine and you'll come out of the other side smiling.

Congratulations by the way!

tiggyhop · 23/10/2007 00:31

I had three under 2 yrs 10 months, all planned, completely knackering, wouldn't change it now (they are 4,3, and 2) they are brilliant, like a little gang, always have someone to play with, all into the same things: I think a small age gap is harder for the parents but once you get over the first two years which are pretty grim anyway then things do get better!

HubbleBubbleToilAndTrouble · 23/10/2007 01:02

shhh and I'll tell you a secret
speak to your health visitor and because you have less than 15 months between them you can get the health visitor to recommend you to the local nanny collage and they will send you 1st and 2nd year students who are doing their work experience. An extra pair of hands is great

1st year will be exhausting, each time you finish a stage you will be about to start all over again with the second one. But you should get them napping at the same time by 6 months

Ensure they both sleep each day at the same time - get them into a routine - not only for their sakes but so you can have a sit down !

I have 12months and 3 weeks between mine. At toddler stage it was like pre school every day all the movement and activity. Now at G8 and B7 and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Enjoy it and rest when you can.

tilbatilba · 23/10/2007 07:15

Mine are 15months apart and a total surprise as I had IVF for the first and then conceived naturally. It has been the best thing that could have ever happened. It was love at first sight and they are just like twins now at 7&8. They are very self sufficient and they think it's just like having a best friend to be with all the time. I wish I had organised some help when they were little ...more so with housekeeping than looking after them. I was alone as my husband worked overseas for the first 2 yrs and in retrospect I should have had some support systems. Anyway...congratulations and have a happy pregnancy.

pigletmaker · 23/10/2007 08:22

I am also due early Dec and there will be a 15 mnth gap. Also had the "you'll be busy" or "this is where the fun begins" type nonsense. I think everyone who says that stuff is trying to be well meaning, just doesn't know what to say.

We did find that all those people who said "your life will be over" or "you'll never know what hit you" or "its a total shock from which you'll take ages to recover" about the birth of DC1 were all WRONG. They couldn't have been more wrong.

So I'm telling myself that all these cliches about two close together from folks who don't know, are again probably wrong - or perhaps just not the experience we're going to have (who knows, it could be worse!) but its for us to find our for ourselves.

A certain amount of apprehension is good I think - means we're concerned about doing a good job of it when it happens. I'd rather be concientious than blase about it.

What is your official due date? I'm Dec 6th.

IntergalacticWarlock · 23/10/2007 08:43

My mate at work as 12 months between hers. She said it is hard work, but the rewards of a skall age gap soon becaom apparent

I have 20.5 months between mine, and it';s great!

saltire · 23/10/2007 08:49

There's 13 months between me and DB1, and we are quite close now, we did go through a time between the ages of 13-17 when we couldn't stand each other, but we had our adolesence and our dad was really ill and died when I was 16 and BB1 was almost 15. Then DB2 came along when I was 6, and we don't have much in common, mind you he's depriving a village somewhere of it's idiot.

hazeyjane · 23/10/2007 11:06

There are 14 months between my 2 and I always get the 'ooh you must be brave (or stupid!)' thing and towards the end of my pregnancy when i was huge 2 weeks late and my dd1 still not walking I started to feel pretty down, thinking it was going to be hell ( also had lots of people saying ' oh it will be hell for first 2 years then it will get lots better', and I would think '2 YEARS OF HELL OH MY GOD!'. They are now 19 months and 5 months, and yes I am knackered ( but then babies are in general pretty knackering), but my dh and I have never been happier, dd2 was a total surprise, at 38 and with a long history of miscarriages and 6 years to ttc, but she has made our family whole. I love my own sister, and am so glad that we have been able to give ou dd1 her sister, they smile and smile at each other. I went to an NCT refresher course, which i would recommend, because you meet other mums.

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