5 weeks pregnant today and so anxious :(

[Ballermoriee1]

Hi everyone,

I am 5 weeks pregnant today. I feel pregnant naturally after 3.5 years of trying and 3 failed IVF attempts and save to say i'm losing my mind. I am so worried that something will go wrong. I just don't know how to relax. I have an early pregnancy scan on 31st December when I will be 8 weeks, that seems like a lifetime away. I am also getting bloods done tomorrow and Monday but I am scared of the results. Can anyone relate to this, i'd love to speak with people at the same stage / in the same boat? xxxx

It's a tricky one because if you feel worried then it's okay today feel like that they are your feelings.

When I got super worried I had a really silly visualisation of whatever I felt going down to the baby so I would have my moment then Calm myself down and think happy thoughts. I'm not a positive affirmation kinda person but it did help to say nice things out loud. Even if it was I'm so excited to see you in 2 weeks time baby for a scan or similar.

The whole thing can be a rollercoaster (I'm 27 weeks now) but overall I'm glad I've chosen not to be worried as I have seen other people be robbed of their happiness. I haven't had the same journey as you to conceive though so nothing can compare.

Congratulations, breathe and smile xx

It's so hard. I'm currently 6w5d pregnant after a miscarriage earlier this year and I just have to take it day by day.

What I try and remember is that no amount of worry is going to change the outcome. I can either try and enjoy the pregnancy and take each day as it comes, or I can be an anxious wreck. It doesn't matter which approach I take - the pregnancy is either going to be a success or it isn't.

It's so hard and it can feel impossible to relax, especially when you've been trying and wanting it for so long. Remember you are not alone and every pregnant woman I speak to feels exactly the same. Try and focus on getting to each little milestone and remember that the vast majority of pregnancies end in a healthy baby.

@serialplanner Congratulations! Thank you, I do have a journal that I was going to write positive things in and try and visualize what happens in 2 weeks, the HCG results tomorrow and Monday. I get so worried feeling like this that I am going to bring negativity. :(

@GiveMeCamembert Congratulations, have you booked an early scan or waiting until 12 weeks? I do have these moments knowing it's out of my hands just go with it and then I overthink it and back to 'anxious annie' . It doesn't help that I don't have any symptoms at this point but I know its early, we miscarried this time last year at 8.5 weeks on an IVF cycle but I know sickness didn't kick in until just before the 6 week mark. I'm looking forward to feeling sick, although i'll regret saying that when it arrives!

Hi.

I’m with you on the anxiety. I have no history- I was very lucky that I got a BFP on my first go. So now it feels too good to be true. I am now 4weeks + 4 and the anxiety is real! I’ve booked an early pregnancy scan on the same day as you actually, did it privately as I haven’t heard from the midwife yet. Is that what you did? I’d also love to get bloods done but Dr didn’t suggest it, he just told me to self refer to a hospital.

I’m sorry I have nothing helpful to offer but wanted you to know you’re not alone. I suppose all we can do is hope the best and take it as it comes xxx

@Thisisbananas3 congratulations! Yes, I booked privately with the clinic who I’ve been having IVF through. They suggested blood tests which I wasn’t thinking about but I thought ‘why not’ at least I’ll have a good indication. The only thing at the moment reassuring me is my sore boobs. Did you do a digital? I’ve had 1-2 weeks and then I got 2-3 on Tuesday. I will do another soon and pray it’s gone up to 3+ weeks. I was shaking waiting for the results the other morning. I couldn’t handle another loss x

Congratulations! I know how you feel, @Ballermoriee1 - my DD is almost a year old and it took years of trying, two miscarriages, a chemical pregnancy and four cycles of IVF to get where we are today. The pregnancy felt like such a precious, fragile gift and I felt like I was on a knife edge the whole way through; that I could lose the baby at any time. I didn't dare believe that we could actually have a baby.

I agree that thinking positively is a constructive thing but I struggled with that. In the end, I pretty much accepted that I was going to be anxious and worried during the pregnancy, and found ways to calm myself down when the negative thoughts became too much - I had a meditation CD that I used to play when I started inwardly panicking and it really helped. I'd visualise the embryo, then the foetus, then the baby, burrowing in and all healthy and happy . . .

@Ballermoriee1 no I didn’t do a 1-2 weeks type test but plan on getting one at the weekend to see if that puts my mind at ease but I imagine it won’t!

Yes I think you getting the blood test is good too! Really hope it all goes well.... I wonder if it’s worth mentioning the anxiety to the midwife? Though I’m not sure how they could help!

@RedPandaFluff I’m so glad you finally got there! it should be such a happy time but it’s not. I have tried to relax today and go with the flow, what will be will be but I want it so much! I feel positive then petrified the results will come back and indicate somethings wrong. I did journal today, I went through week by week and wrote down what was happening and that the scans went well. It actually helped. I have my bloods tomorrow, I’m hoping they ate really high cause that will get me through the weekend and I’ll feel better for Monday.

@Thisisbananas3 I will speak to them tomorrow, I’m hoping they can put my mind at rest by Monday. If I know levels are where they need to be hopefully I’ll have a few days of calm and then I can work towards the first scan! Sickness would help me know everything was ok, on my last where I miscarried I had hyperemesis so I knew it was all ok, then it just went and I did twig! Keep me updated how you get on. X

Having had miscarriages in the past, I have come to accept that I will only ever enjoy a pregnancy in retrospect. I would recommending being as kind to yourself as you can manage and then just hang in there each day at a time. All the best for your scan on 31st.

@OfficialLurker Thank you - it’s so nice to know I’m not alone! It’s hard!

Hi OP,

I found out on Tuesday I’m expecting, by my calculations I’m 7 weeks. Like you I’m very anxious due to hearing about other people’s past miscarriages etc. I only have mild symptoms as well which I know might be a blessing but doesn’t help my worry ha. We have booked a private scan on Tuesday, partly for reassurance and partly so my partner can be part of the experience as current rules mean he can’t come to the 12 week one. I’m worried it will be too early to see anything as I’m only going on 7 weeks by the date I had last period, I actually had 2 false negative tests about 3 weeks ago which I took due to being late on period, but since had pregnancy confirmed by blood test at doctors, and then after that did a urine test which also came back positive. So I could potentially be earlier than 7 weeks. Think I might try what you did and do a digital. Hope things go ok for us both xxx

@MeganChar1 congratulations! At 7 weeks you’ll be able to see a little bean and they can measure and take you what date you are measuring at. They will also measure the heartbeat! You digital should show 3+ weeks now! It’s easy to say when it’s not yourself but don’t worry about symptoms, my friend is pregnant and didn’t feel much, only an inch bit queasy and 8/9 weeks! Where do you live that partner can’t come to 12 week scan? Xxx

Hi @Ballermoriee1
Hopefully they will be able to see something, as I said I’m only going by date of last period, but even then it wasn’t a proper period because it was withdrawal bleed from the pill, then had 2 false negatives (although I had started experiencing mild symptoms). We live in East Yorkshire, the last time I checked a few weeks ago partner can come to 20 week scan but not 12 week

Hi ladies, can I join you please? Got my BFP on the 24th November and I’m currently 5 weeks 5 days pregnant with our first baby. I feel exactly the same I’m so so anxious and nervous about everything and just can’t seem to relax.

Every 5 minutes I feel myself getting anxious or Googling something and then I have to take calming breaths and tell myself to calm down. This baby is so wanted and I’m just so so hopeful that everything works out. I have my booking in appt with my midwife on the 19th, and then we’ve booked a private scan on the 24th so we can tell our families at Christmas.

I don‘t have crazy symptoms but I do have very sore/tender boobs, a bit of constipation, achy lower back, and achy calves (weirdly!) I also feel like this morning I’m getting a tiny bit of nausea but I may just be imagining it! I know nausea generally doesn’t kick in until week 6 though. I feel like I’m in limbo just hurrying these next couple of weeks along but I also want to try and enjoy it and feel excited. DH is absolutely amazing and has always been a very calming influence on me so that’s super helpful. I burst into tears 2 nights ago and told him how I was feeling and he was just amazing. I know it’s super common to feel this way and it makes me feel better that you guys are the same! Rationally I am in relatively good health I think so don’t have any reason to worry but it doesn’t seem to make a difference, I feel like I'm going to jinx it!!

I’m trying to keep myself distracted and enjoy the run up to Christmas – have started planning walks in the evenings to look at Christmas lights and get out of the house (both WFH currently) and that’s helping, and we’re going to watch loads of Christmas movies this weekend and just chill all cosy inside. I also love the idea of journaling – I’m going to order a lovely pregnancy journal that you give to your baby afterwards but I also want one for me that’s just my own feelings and probably TMI haha!! Might just write word docs and save them on my computer just to have.

Anyway, waffling! Nice to ‘meet’ you all and sending everyone calming pregnancy vibes! xxx

@MeganChar1 There is a clinic near me that does early scans from 6 weeks, so even if you are out you may still be able to see something. Apparently the heartbeat starts between 5.5 weeks and 6 weeks. Please let us know how you get on.

@TheHotelCalifornia Yes, of course, welcome! I know exactly how you feel, I always feel so positive for other people, it should just be that you get your positive and that’s it. Someone said earlier, more pregnancies are successful than not, I’m clingy too that fact! This morning I’ve been feeling positive, I had by first bloods to measure HCG and it’s just hit me, I’m overwhelmed with anxiety, what if they say it’s not looking good? 😢 Surely I’ve been through enough, after nearly 3:5 years this is the only sperm that’s made it. I feel I’m allowed this miracle.

Yes, so my boobs are really sore too, I took the dog out yesterday and I could feel them with every step. They seem to ease during the night so I find myself prodding just to make sure they are still hurting. I felt a bit groggy this morning, like I’d drunk a bottle of wine last night but that’s gone now. I also have achy legs 🤣 I was actually wondering the other day if it was a sign, how weird!

My partner is so positive, even when I’m panicking he’ll just said ‘it’s going to be ok this time’ but it just doesn’t help. I think when it’s your body you can read in to every twinge, like I feel the responsibility is with me for this to happen!

I love the idea of walking to see Christmas lights, I’m going to add that to my list for Saturday. Sometimes I find I’m so anxious I don’t want to plan anything, I just want to wallow but appreciate I need to man up! 🤣

Actually LOL’d at the journal, baby reading about everything 🤣 I think for your own well-being though writing down your feelings will help you release them, I’m about to do that now. I think I might to a diary in the new year, but like resolutions!

I love these messages so please keep me updated at each stage and I will let you know my blood results later ♥️

Hi, can I hop on board too please?

Currently very early on in my 4th pregnancy (5 weeks on Monday) after 3 mc's, last one in November.

Driving myself insane - I wish I could just forget about the fact I'm pregnant but I can't. I don't really have any symptoms either, except getting up to pee 3-4 times every night 🙄 so not feeling particularly reassured...

This is something that helped me. Seeing the likelihood of a successful pregnancy increase as the days went past reassured me - maybe some of you might find it useful?

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

@Daffodil21 the weeks are so slow aren’t they! My fiancé’s sister had 3 miscarriages and she’s now 10 weeks pregnant if that makes you feel better (probably only for a minute)! Do you have a scan booked in or anything?

@RedPandaFluff thank you, I’m having a look now!

@Ballermoriee1 thank you, that does give me some hope actually! At this point I can't see how there can't be something wrong and part of me thinks maybe we should have waited for tests, but never mind - too late now! They had booked me in for a scan on 23rd Dec, where I would only just be 6 weeks, so I cancelled it because I just don't want all the uncertainty. I'll see if we get to January first, and if we do then I'll think about booking a scan. I've seen two heartbeats before, so seeing one at 6 weeks (if there's even one there) wouldn't even be reassuring anyway so it's pretty pointless. They sounded confused when I wanted to cancel - I don't think they're used to people turning down early scans!
Are you under any extra care given your circumstances?

@Daffodil21 I honestly know exactly how you feel. We had a 7 week scan on our second round of IVF and everything was perfect, exactly as it should be, then we went for our 12 weeks and no heart beat - we'd lost at 8.5 weeks. What happened previously? I'm so sorry it happened to you.

My obsession this time round has meant that I have been researching / driving myself crazy and I think the percentage is really low to miscarry after seeing a heartbeat. What are the odds of us being those people again? I'd hope 0%.

I turned down a scan on the 19th, we'd be 6 weeks 2 days and that's just too early.

No help, although I haven't really sought it. I wonder if I could push NHS for an early scan but I have just gone private. I also have my BHCG bloods today, I got the results just now and they are 4170 which apparently is a really good figure at this point, as a stand alone figure they are happy but I am going back on Monday, I need to see them double! Then after those I will have the agonizing wait until 31st.

I am praying for you, I feel confident for us all. It has to be out time!

xx

Congratulations OP!

I had a mantra during my pregnancy... "today I am pregnant". I'd say it to myself every morning and often multiple times throughout the day, whenever I was feeling anxious. Pregnancy felt like such a precious and fragile things.

DS now 7 months so we got there!

Sending you all the very best

@Ballermoriee1 it's so hard isn't it. When are you planning on having your first scan? Last time the bleeding stared with spotting on loo paper, just once on a Friday evening. A week later all was fine with a heartbeat, then bleeding slowly got worse and a scan 9 days late confirmed it was about to be over. Even if I start to bleed this time I'm not doing to bother with a scan.

Ah the obsessions are so real! I find none of the statistics reassuring because I'm always in the minority!

That HCG sounds really good!! Again, I'm avoiding that too. I had them done last time and it was 2400, then 2800 48 hours so the doc obv told me it was going to end. Then I had a scan 'to confirm' and there was a heartbeat. They said the proof was in the scan, and non doubling HCG levels aren't an exact science. So I'm just going to try and wait this out!! Not enjoying it at all.

I really hope it goes ok for us all ❤️

@NewMumOrpington I’ve wrote something similar in my journal today! Today’s results are positive so that’s given me a boost, looking forward to Monday and seeing them double. ♥️

@Daffodil21 I have a scan booked on 31st December. I estimate I will be 8 weeks. Keep dropping in and letting me know how you feel, any new symptoms!

I have noticed recently I’ve been having a weird shooting pain, like a stitch near my left ovary I think... I googled it and the only thing that comes up is round ligament stretching but I’m too early for that so don’t know. Nipples are sore too!

@Ballermoriee1 I hope it all goes well for you! Please keep us all posted.

Symptoms. Well, I never seem to have any (except excessive nighttime peeing), which is not particularly reassuring. I'm still very early on, so hopefully some will come along?! Can't believe I'm wishing them to come!

Just had some pink when wiping. Ffs. I thought I had another week until I was in 'the danger zone'