MIL been unreasonable - now I have to buy a cot

[kirstenn123]

I need advice on buying a cot - I'm completely clueless 😂

At the start of pregnancy , I looked at cots & was overwhelmed at the prices !
MIL suggested we have the cot that is in her house , that she called a "family heirloom"
My OH was raised in this cot along with other family members
At first , I said no as I wanted a new one but due to covid & furlough & decreased funds , I eventually gave in & accepted it
My OH also stated all we needed to buy was a new mattress & he was sold on the idea of raising his son in the cot he was raised in - I asked him if I could pain / modify it & he said yes

Fast forward to 30 weeks pregnant ( MIL is due to drop it off when we have the family seeing times on Xmas week ) my OH spoke to her the other day & asked what kind of material it was so he could buy the correct paint - she's told us we are not to paint it
OH says he's still gonna paint it , but his mother can be a little petty when it comes to arguments , & I'm not her biggest fan already

We're gonna wait until the January sales , does anyone know any websites / shops etc I can buy one from
I've looked on Argos / way fair & the common ones but there too pricey

Thanks !!!

If it's being presented as a type of borrowing then i'd decline. Stay away from 'borrowing' major equipment for your baby. So many reasons.

If your in laws have space it's really handy to have a cot set up there for when you visit

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@ODFODXmas so does it conform to safety guidelines if it has been refurbished[/quote]
Which safety guidelines? 9 babies have slept in it and been absolutely fine. The paint is safe. The varnish is safe. The wood will last forever. We use new mattresses etc.

online4baby.com,they're reasonably priced, good quality products! I've just bought a cotbed for my DS. It was £123 cotbed & mattress! It depends on how much you want to spend!

I've just bought one off Facebook for £55. Just need a new mattress

IKEA Sundvik.

High position for babies, low position when they start standing, transforms into a toddler bed. £100 . Can't go wrong!

@kirstenn123

Wow. Didn't expect to go on my break at work & get called ungrateful , there is plenty more to this story but there is not much time in the day to explain it all I only asked for peoples advice / opinions on buying a new cot , so for those who have mentioned places , thank you very much I appreciate it

It's a crazy hunch, but..

Do you think posters may have been led to believe you were posting about your MIL being unreasonable because you have called the thread 'MIl has been unreasonable'? 🤔

Many old cots don't have the right sized gaps and in the past babies have got their heads stuck and badly injured/died @ODFODXmas

Ilea do really affordable ones. Really it doesn't need to be expensive or fancy.

You can get matching furniture for IKEA ones too if you want it all to match.

@ineedaholidaynow

Many old cots don't have the right sized gaps and in the past babies have got their heads stuck and badly injured/died *@ODFODXmas*

Well, that didn’t happen to 9/9 babies with this one. I think the gaps are slightly bigger than modern cots, but as we tend to co-sleep with our babies till about a year their heads are too big by the time they go in the cot for that to matter.

@ineedaholidaynow
Why are you obsessed with shitting all over the poster’s father making her crib? No one is making you use it and I’m sure she knows her dad’s skills and feels comfortable with his craftsmanship, give it a rest

@kirstenn123 maybe you shouldn't have given your post the title
MIL been unreasonable - now I have to buy a cot if you didn't want people to comment in her 'unreasonableness'

She's not being remotely unreasonable of course (you might have other issues with her, but this shouldn't be one). If it's an heirloom you don't get to paint it. Surely that should be obvious. It isn't yours, it's on loan.

Because old cots might not be safe and she asked why. It's not the craftsmanship that might be in question, but babies have died in cots where the gaps are too big, and the cots don't have to be too old. I remember the problem being highlighted when families went on holiday and used cots provide by hotels and the cots didn't conform to UK standards and babies died.

And if cots were last painted in the early 70s it is likely that the paint has lead in it.

And if cots were last painted in the early 70s it is likely that the paint has lead in it.

Re-read my post.

It was sanded and revarnished for me in the LATE 70s. No paint.

And again 10 years ago.

And again about 6 months ago.

Thanks for the concern, but we’re happy with the cot.

I'm also pointing out the issues for the OP, where a number of posters have told her she would be unreasonable to paint an heirloom cot, whereas it might be a good idea to repaint it if it still has the original paint on it.

Without wishing to sound morbid, I don't get the 'it's not yours' argument when surely the MIL would be imagining it will be passed on to her son, the dad of this baby who she wants to use the cot, one day? It's a 'family heirloom' - but they are the family who'll be inheriting the heirloom?

So why is MIL unreasonable?

I can assume you could find a cheap cot very easily with google so im guessing you want a expensive brand at a cheap price?

Whos ever going to see it except you & OH & baby? Few years before play dates and bu then they have their own beds.

If its functional & free and you are in need & skint, just say thank you 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I actually got a brand new one from a charity shop for £15, always worth having a nosy. It was Barnardos but like a baby shop, it's surprising what people get rid of x

I'd just go to IKEA or check on Facebook marketplace/gumtree.

I wouldn't paint a cot personally - my DD chewed the top bar repeatedly for a few months.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I don't think your MIL has done anything wrong here? She offered you something. You declined. Your situation changed so you went back and asked for it. She agreed. You want to paint it. She doesn't.

It's an heirloom so she likely will want it back or passed to another family member when you have finished with it.

^ this.

By all means buy a cot if you want, but why the unnecessary dig at your MIL ... what exactly do you think she has been unreasonable about?

IKEA are reasonable, and Asda.

You can probably get a good one of Freecycle etc but you'll still need a new mattress.

I got a mamas and papas one in FB market place for a third of the original cost and it was in perfect condition. Worth looking on market place because often people buy a cot and baby refuses to ever sleep in it. Ours should have been £300 and we paid £95.

Take a look on Facebook marketplace, we got a next to me cot which has done us to 4 months and currently looking for a proper cot. There are a lot of bargains on there if you're not after anything specific.

Ikea. Definitely. I spent a fortune on mine and regret it. The Ikea ones are very cheap and look great.

I actually thought this post was about the MIL being unreasonable...and only realised it was about cribs when I got to the end!

Suspect OP just needed a rant but the heading and majority of the post was about MIL!