MIL been unreasonable - now I have to buy a cot

[kirstenn123]

I need advice on buying a cot - I'm completely clueless 😂

At the start of pregnancy , I looked at cots & was overwhelmed at the prices !
MIL suggested we have the cot that is in her house , that she called a "family heirloom"
My OH was raised in this cot along with other family members
At first , I said no as I wanted a new one but due to covid & furlough & decreased funds , I eventually gave in & accepted it
My OH also stated all we needed to buy was a new mattress & he was sold on the idea of raising his son in the cot he was raised in - I asked him if I could pain / modify it & he said yes

Fast forward to 30 weeks pregnant ( MIL is due to drop it off when we have the family seeing times on Xmas week ) my OH spoke to her the other day & asked what kind of material it was so he could buy the correct paint - she's told us we are not to paint it
OH says he's still gonna paint it , but his mother can be a little petty when it comes to arguments , & I'm not her biggest fan already

We're gonna wait until the January sales , does anyone know any websites / shops etc I can buy one from
I've looked on Argos / way fair & the common ones but there too pricey

Thanks !!!

Try freecycle, I just got a fantastic crib for free this morning. I'm having baby number 3 so I'd rather reuse than buy new. People are decluttering and giving good stuff away, I gave all my baby stuff away.

Ikea Cots are good quality and very reasonably priced. I’m also not sure what your mil has done wrong? I don’t think it’s fair of you to think you can paint something which is considered an heirloom to her.

@Tamingofthehamster

Not sure why you’re giving your MIL a hard time??

If it's the original paint then it's likely to contain lead. Which as we know now is not safe. Therefore requires stripping & repainting.

I paid £30 for our cot from Smyths... it's white and has done both boys! If you're anywhere near Newcastle you can have it! DS2 is turning 3 and is moving into bunk beds after Christmas.

@FelicityPike

I wouldn’t want you painting it either. It’s not yours nor your husbands it belongs to your MIL and I assume she’d be getting it back in a few years when your baby is ready for a bed. I think YBU here.

Depending on the age, the original paint would be lead-based.

Cot and crib are definitely things I wouldn’t bother getting new. There are thousands of good quality ones going cheap, and really they are barely used for a couple of years maximum.

Can you save face by saying you think the baby will need one when it stays at hers? I’m also on the side of I don’t think she’s done anything wrong.

I would check the gaps in the bars. I was told older ones don't match current safety standards anyway..

I wouldn't paint a cot anyway, lots of babies occasionally chew on the top railing and I wouldn't want them to eat any flakes of paint.

Look for a good quality (John Lewis and Mamas and Papas do lovely long-lasting nursery furniture) solid wood cot secondhand. You can give it a good scrub with hot soapy water and just buy a new mattress. Or IKEA, but unless you are local, it'll probably cost more for delivery than the price of the cot.

@HadEnoughOfBears or it’s wooden and was never painted in the first place?
Who knows.

I'm getting the £40 IKEA one as I honestly think it looks nicer than anything else I've seen (bar v v expensive Scandi ones). It's solid wood, and I just don't love the white / grey painted look so many seem to have these days. But if I change my mind I can always paint it a fun colour in the future, or for another baby.

We did get a higher end organic mattress for it in the BF sales, but IKEA do them too so you really don't need to spend much!

Will echo others that I don't think your MIL did anything all that bad here? 🤔

I'd just go for FB marketplace or ebay. There are loads of lovely ones out there 2nd hand - some barely used if the baby ended up cosleeping! You can give them a good clean and you're getting a new mattress anyway.

We bought a cotbed and at the same time we bought the guard rail for it, it can be used up until about age 4 when it becomes a toddler bed.

Just a thought. We did this as we knew we wanted a second child so we could move 1st child into a bed when the second one needed the cot. We have a 3 year gap.

Go Finnish.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22751415

Why would you paint a cot as your child would just eat it?

Have you seen what the cot looks like? How does your partner feel about not using it as he seemed to like the idea?

Loads of people sell cots of eBay/gumtree/Facebook in nice condition.

Depending on age it might not meet current safety standards.

But I think it's OK for MIL to say that it can't be painted.

What's your budget?

I got mine from freecycle and just bought a new mattress. Have a browse about

I know this wasn't the point of your post but o think you're better off buying one anyway.
I wouldn't use a cot that old due to safety reasons.

Who knows how stable it still is and I bet they didn't have to pass the same standards back then so are the screws/bolts definitely protected and can't become a choking hazard if come loose? Etc

Facebook marketplace or IKEA for a cot.

I got mine second hand, in pieces from a charity shop. It would have been extremely expensive if I'd got it new. I paid £10 and then got a really good new mattress.

Your mil isn't being petty, YABU. Not hard to find places that sell cots. You can probably get one in ikea for under 100 but you still need a mattress.

I got a Mamas and Papas cotbed (rrp about 400 quid) for 70 quid on Facebook marketplace. Bought a new mattress for £50.
It's a good point other posters have raised about lead paint.

Look on Facebook marketplace for second hand. We got one for £20 that saw us through 2 children, and have now passed it on to someone else!
As you say, all it will need is a new mattress.

I remember selling on our John Lewis cots for £50 on a local selling site - both families also took the mattresses which had had a waterproof protector on

Of course she's not being unreasonable, of course you don't paint a family heirloom.