How do people do this?

[Alfxn]

NC for this. Am about 6 weeks pregnant. 24hr Nausea started 10 days ago. The vomiting started 2 nights ago. Yesterday was a terrible day. Every time i stood up i started retching and had to run to be sick. Trying to eat and drink was upsetting and exhausting. I ended up a shaky, teary mess after just one day of it! I spent the day in my dressing gown, trying to nibble on bland foods, ice lollies, ginger everything, you name it, nothing helped. Lucky yesterday was my day off. Today i have to go to work. My work involves being on my feet all day. My job is physically and mentally demanding and the hours can be long with unexpected emergencies to deal with constantly (Think similar to NHS but in a small building/team of about 12 people..). I have to work 2x 36hr shifts this week alone as well as 2 "normal" days. I have no idea how I'll cope. I didn't want to tell work yet but if i suddenly start retching and running out of the room several times a day it'll be obvious won't it!!

How do people do this? How do people get through it? I'm so early in pregnancy with such a long way to go and it's flooring me!! Frankly I'm a teary, terrified mess.

Right now, I can't figure out how people survive one pregnancy let alone voluntarily have more

You don't have to go to work. You need to stay at home and rest.

Thank you. But everyone else gets on with it when they're pregnant don't they? I don't want to be the drama queen who can't cope. That's not normally me!

Every pregnancy is different and, unfortunately, you seem to be having a tough one💐.

There is hope though as yhe first trimester can be an assault on the body as hormonal changes kick in and your body adjusts to the pregnancy. Things should settle down towards the second trimester and throughout. Hang in there!

Do you really mean you have to work 2x 36hour shifts this week?! That can't be right!

I know it’s early, but if you haven’t already it’s a good idea to tell your work you’re pregnant. 36 hours isn’t an appropriate shift length for a pregnant women to work - your work needs to do a risk assessment for you and adjust your working hours, and possibly some of your responsibilities. Read this to understand the law and their responsibilities: www.hse.gov.uk/mothers/law.htm. I told my work very early myself, due to different kinds of health and safety issues, and my manager and other people who needed to know were very discrete.

A lot of women take time off due to morning sickness. I think the only thing to be aware of, is that they they can make you start maternity leave in the month before your due date if you’re off for a pregnancy-related illness. This is unlikely to be a issue by then, so hopefully it’s not relevant to you!

No a lot of people don't get on with it because they can't.
I worked up until 35 weeks but had no sickness. I couldn't imagine feeling that way and having to go to work on top of that. Also NHS and on my feet all day with a smaller group of about 15.
No way should you be even trying. Stay at home, get plenty of rest and stay hydrated.
I do hope this passes for you and you start to feel better.

Also, Re: being a drama queen. Not everyone gets it, and most don’t get it as bad as you’re describing! I didn’t throw up at all, and only retched on a few occasions. I didn’t take time off, but I still had to take a few unscheduled breaks at awkward moments. On the other side, I have a friend who was off work for several weeks. Everyone experiences pregnancy differently, and you have to do what’s right for you.

I had to have a week off work at 7 weeks because of how sick I felt and then a few days here and there later on. My work was really supportive and I was able to reduce my tasks, so I was basically technically in work but very unproductive until recently. Plus I was working from home so could take my laptop to bed if I didn't have calls. If I'd had to go into an office or did an active job I'd have had to be signed off longer.

I didn’t cope it was awful! Please make an appointment to see your doctor, they can check your urine for ketones (how dehydrated you are) and prescribe some antisickness meds. I wish someone would have told me to do this sooner rather than try to battle through. I lost nearly 2st in weight and was admitted to hospital

I’ve been off work in bed for 4 weeks straight. I worked through as normal in my other pregnancies. This one is different. All pregnancies are different and there is a huge spectrum, I feel like every pregnant person I know starts their day with a 5k run before a long day at work etc, whereas I practically crawl to the bathroom and back to brush my teeth and occasionally On a good day I also manage a shower!!

Don’t worry about it and take the time you need to take.

Oh you poor thing. Congratulations but I'm sorry you're struggling. You do sound as though you have severe mourning sickness, in which case no one would expect you to be working. If I was like how you described I certainly wouldn't be! I had 1 day off as I was vomiting hourly - ended up in hospital dehydrated and on a drip over the weekend and prescribed anti emetics that helped.

I'd call the local midwifery unit or your gp for some hemp. Make sure you're drinking and well hydrated.

It's awful and so hard to cope feeling like this.

If you can make an appointment with the doctors they should be able to prescribe anti sickness medicine.

If you get dehydrated it can make you feel worse (and it's hard to drink when you feel so awful). Often the only thing I could tolerate was having an ice cube to melt slowly in my mouth.

Plus, you will always get some people saying/thinking 'it's just morning sickness/have a ginger biscuit'. Just ignore them, those that feel that way have never had it like this.

Congratulations! Please don’t go to work, stay at home and rest. I hated the early weeks of pregnancy. I felt hideous and although I was only physically sick a few times, I was constantly nauseous with a watery mouth and so wiped out. Thankfully it eased for me at 10 weeks but those first few weeks put me off ever having another pregnancy!
Rest, drink, nibble when you can and hopefully you’ll feel better soon x

I’m 9 weeks now and I’ve been exactly as you describe for more than 3 weeks now. I’ve been feeling the same as you wondering how people cope. I made an appointment with my GP and was prescribed anti-sickness tablets. I took one of them and was able to eat (and enjoy) lunch and dinner for the first time in 3 weeks. I feel so much better even after just one tablet. Go see your GP as there are things they can give you that can help.

I was told by the midwife to get a doctors appointment so I could get a sick note to stay off work and rest. Don't struggle on and if you're able to, take some time off work.
Pregnancy is hard and there are some people who sail through it, I like to call them the chosen ones. Then you get people like you and me who are a vomiting, retching mess.
Be kind to yourself and make sure that you rest

I’m with you OP. There were days I couldn’t get out of bed and thought how would people go to work like this. Ever so thankful to be wfh. First trimester for me was like a long hangover. Couldn’t eat/drink b4 noon or throw up violently. The rest of the day I could throw up anytime. It got better after 14 weeks but I don’t want to jinx it.

Thanks everyone. Your messages have all been so kind, it really helps. As it happens, i did manage to get up, shower and go into work but felt so horrendous that my boss took one look and took me aside. I ended up telling her about the pregnancy and she was so sympathetic and helpful. She's told me to take a few days and not to worry about it. I didn't originally intend on saying it so soon but as @Kakapop said above, some jobs you just do have to.

@FTMF30 yes 2x 36 hour shifts, although i should clarify that of each of those, half of the shift is "on call" so if things are quiet you might not necessarily be in - although of course there's no way of knowing in advance, and emergencies often happen, so they're quite difficult shifts really. Just the reality in my profession though. There's 5 of us who need to cover 24/7 between us! So there's a lot of guilt if you can't cover as it puts a lot of pressure on your colleagues.

Just to reiterate your messages have all helped me so much. I was nearly in tears reading them! I so appreciate the support.

@Alfxn

Thank you. But everyone else gets on with it when they're pregnant don't they? I don't want to be the drama queen who can't cope. That's not normally me!

No they don’t. Every person’s experience is different. Remember some people end up admitted to hospital in early pregnancy.

You poor thing, please rest if you need to. It sounds like you'd benefit from the pregnancy risk assessment too so you may want to share with your boss.
Every pregnancy is different and you're having a tough one. I didn't have sickness but it doesn't mean I don't know that its very real and can be debilitating.
One tiny silver lining is that its a good thing to feel rotten, you're more likely to have a sucessful pregnancy. For that reason I prayed for a bit of sickness, but I know that's easy to say when you're not in the thick of it!

Sounds like you have it particularly bad. I had it really really bad and luckily I was working from home, otherwise I have no idea how on earth I could have copied commuting to the office and working all day long in a stressful job around other people when I was throwing up all day long, barely eating and feeling so rough every day.

I wondered the exact same thing, how do people cope. From talking to others, it sounded like I had it really bad compared to them, hence why they were able to cope with it so much better in the early days. The number of people I spoke to who reacted with “oh you’re actually throwing up” as though it wasn’t normal.

As others have said, every pregnancy is different, so you struggling is not at all a reflection on you but rather the difficulty of your pregnancy!

I have been thinking this too. Some women have lots of children willingly - I think they're mad lol. Or very lucky when it comes to tiredness and nausea.

I would say though that the nausea thankful stops after the first trimester for most women. I'm luckily at 13 weeks and don't have issues now.

That sounds awful. I was seriously down about the nausea in the first trimester but it was nowhere near as bad a you're describing. If it continues there is medication that can help and if you aren't well enough to work get signed off till you feel better.

I had constant nausea, and vomited a few times a day (maybe 5?) for most of my 1st trimester. Much better now in 2nd trimester. I also wondered how people do it. I only managed because I work part time from home on a laptop. If it weren’t for Covid I’d have been signed off sick.

Just to update you ladies, i had a couple of days off work but my brilliant GP prescribed me stemetil and its been a godsend. I can actually eat again and haven't vomited since I started it. Went back to work today and I've been pretty much bounding around in joy!!

I was in a very low place a few days ago and all of your support was very much appreciated x