announcing the pregnancy

[sadoan]

How long did you wait to announce your pregnancy?

11 weeks to parents and between 12-25 weeks to siblings, friends, work etc.

8 weeks to immediate family, 12 weeks to other family and very close friends.

Then would mention the pregnancy to friends as and when I saw them, so anything up to 20 weeks really.

20 weeks to work

Always 12 weeks after the NHS scan. We’d rather that then have to explain if something bad happened. Last pregnancy I had a MMC at 9 weeks. I can’t tell you the relief that I had only told my closest friend for support and that we hadn’t told our children yet.

Erm, first one was v early to everyone, as it meant I couldn't do a specific activity that was happening when I was about 6 weeks and I refused to lie about why and worry people.

DTwins was 7 weeks to family and close friends, we had an early scan, then 12 weeks because we discovered they were twins and had to keep telling people to make it more real 😂😂

@MaverickDanger

11 weeks to parents and between 12-25 weeks to siblings, friends, work etc.

thank you!

@kittenpeak

8 weeks to immediate family, 12 weeks to other family and very close friends.

Then would mention the pregnancy to friends as and when I saw them, so anything up to 20 weeks really.

20 weeks to work

awesome! thanks!

@4Minions2CallMyOwn

Always 12 weeks after the NHS scan. We’d rather that then have to explain if something bad happened. Last pregnancy I had a MMC at 9 weeks. I can’t tell you the relief that I had only told my closest friend for support and that we hadn’t told our children yet.

i am so sorry for your loss.

@SleepingStandingUp

Erm, first one was v early to everyone, as it meant I couldn't do a specific activity that was happening when I was about 6 weeks and I refused to lie about why and worry people.

DTwins was 7 weeks to family and close friends, we had an early scan, then 12 weeks because we discovered they were twins and had to keep telling people to make it more real 😂😂

glad you were safe!! and i bet 😂

Immediate family, within days (so 5 weeks).

Close friends, around 10-11 weeks

Work and everyone else - from 18 weeks onwards.

After the 20 week scan. Sadly I have a few friends who had bad news at 20 week scans.

@MsHedgehog

Immediate family, within days (so 5 weeks).

Close friends, around 10-11 weeks

Work and everyone else - from 18 weeks onwards.

thank you! i've been questioning when i should.

@Turtleturtle81

After the 20 week scan. Sadly I have a few friends who had bad news at 20 week scans.

sorry for their losses :(

5 weeks to my closest two friends
9 weeks to my and DHs parents
11 weeks to a few other friends (had an NHS scan at 10 weeks that looked great)
Unfortunately a MMC was discovered at 12+2. Baby had died approx 10+5.

It was hard to tell them all what had happened. However, I'm still okay with telling them. We have brilliantly supportive friends and family, who we can trust not to blab to others, and who show their love in this difficult time but also know how to step back and say "I'm giving you space but I am always here if you need me".

If I were to become pregnant again, I might not tell the people I told at 11 weeks until after the 12 weenk scan, but I'd still tell all the others.

Told my parents at 4+3 because they were visiting and we no longer live in the same country. Everyone else 12 weeks.

No "announcement" but I've told people right away, as and when it was relevant.

Told my boss right away, huge relief to not have to make up any fibs for appointments. They were so supportive when I last miscarried and I know they will be again if anything goes wrong.

I have my 12 week scan in 2 days and I'm terrified, but at least I know if anything goes wrong I can have time off and time to grieve without being secretive.

Of course it's personal to everyone, but I feel like the "12 week wait" perpetuates the old view that if we suffer a loss we should keep quiet about it. If you want to keep quiet about it, that's fine too. But I will need a reason for grieving and healing time if it happens again.

Work, as soon as I knew - 4 weeks. We're in a pandemic and it was during the first lockdown.
Parents, close friends - 6 weeks.
The world - 12 weeks :)

12 weeks. Literally just me and DH knew. I was lucky the first time I fell pregnant that everything went so smoothly but said I'd wait until 12 weeks again.

The last few times I've had miscarriages between 6-10 weeks or so. Those times my best friend knew because it was easy to tell her of the losses but no one else.

Each to their own but it does make me wince a little bit when people say they've just announced at 6 weeks and I just hope they never have to announce a loss to the world x

@bez19

Please don't wince. It may not be right for you, but many, many women feel no shame in discussing their losses.

I've taken great comfort and made some great friends through these discussions.

My general rule was who would I tell if something went wrong. If it was someone who I would tell, then I saw no issue telling them before 12 weeks, etc.

To be fair, I have had a lot of medical issues and have spent a lot of time in hospital, so I’m very open with my family and closest friends about what my body does, hence why I was comfortable telling them early.

But it’s entirely up to you. There is no set rule and it’s not for anyone to tell you when you should or shouldn’t share your news. Do what feels right for you.

About 5 weeks to immediate family. Everyone else as and when it came up. Was at a wedding at about 10 weeks with second pregnancy and a few people asked why I wasn't drinking so I just answered them honestly. Before 12 weeks I always appended it with saying it was early so anything could happen.

I didn't announce mine as am not royalty. I told family straight away and others at various points after my scan.

First pregnancy told family before 12 week scan and had told my manager at work. Told everyone else after.

Second pregnancy announced it on boxing day was about 10 weeks to all the family and had told my manager plus a couple of friends. Went for my 12 week scan to find I had had a missed miscarriage was devastated and hated having to untell everyone.

3rd pregnancy only my husband and medical professionals knew. Had another missed miscarriage. Wish I had told my manager as had to call her and tell her I was having a miscarriage but we didn't tell many people my parents in law knew as had to look after our a daughter and a friend at work as had to let her down at short notice.

If we ever get pregnant again think I will tell some people and will have to tell work because of covid.

Close family after 20 week scan.
Work at the latest possible opportunity.

Everyone else (facebook etc) a few days after she arrived

@Nellle that's not what I was implying. I am having surgical removal of a pregnancy tomorrow and I feel no shame at all discussing it and would do openly when the time is right.
The post is about when people announce a pregnancy, they're 2 very different things. Having a conversation with a family member compared to having it with your boss may be two very polar opposites for most

First time I told my mum at 7 ish weeks and everyone else family wise at about 10 weeks. Can't remember about friends etc probably after first scan I think.
This time cause of how annoying some of my family were the first time I didn't tell anyone apart from my step sister and a close friend to be able to talk to someone and at my dating scan (10+6) I found out I was expecting twins! I told my friend it was twins but bit step sister. Then being that bit higher risk I kept it to myself until about 14/15 weeks. I had a further two scans before I told anyone.