announcing the pregnancy

[sadoan]

How long did you wait to announce your pregnancy?

We told a couple of close friends the week we found out (me because I would want the support if a miscarriage, as family lives far away, DH because... He wanted to share with someone?).

Family were told between 11-12 weeks after we got a private scan to confirm everything was okay, as the NHS scan was at 13 weeks. Wanted to tell them in person during a birthday visit.

Told another couple of friends around the 18 week mark who I don't live near, one of which had been suffering from fertility problems so didn't want her to find out any other way.

After 20 week scan, put a generic announcement on FB for not as close friends/relatives.

I told my mum and brother immediately at like 4 weeks, husband’s family was about 7, 2 close friends at 8 weeks and plan to tell everyone else after 12.

PG1 told my Mum at about 6 weeks. MC at 8 weeks and told my boss then but no-one else knew and I didn't tell anyone else about the MC.

PG2 told my Mum and my boss at 8 weeks after successful private scan. MC at 9 weeks. It was easier they knew so I'm glad I'd told them. We told close friends and family about both MC then (SIL announced her PG the day before I lost my 2nd and our babies were due weeks apart). Much easier with people knowing.

PG3 told my Mum and boss at 3 weeks as knew would need them either way and I was a mess still grieving losses which was affecting work. Told a close friend who supported me through MC2 around 7 weeks - again I knew I would want to stay in touch with her either way. The rest of my family and DH family we told last week at 21 weeks after 20wk scan. Part of that decision was because I was taking progesterone supplements until 16 weeks and wasn't confident about what would happen when I stopped. It was definitely the right decision for me but realise my situation isn't common (thankfully). We'll tell other people as we see them. Will probably let people know at work after Xmas (obviously will do the paperwork now to get SMP).

People knowing before a MC is actually helpful - I don't buy into the idea you shouldn't tell people because it might go wrong. There are people you will need either way and the feeling of shame when it's a secret is awful. I just couldn't deal with the joyful optimism I knew I would get from some of our family when I was feeling so anxious.

Told my mum, partner and mil, fil immediately.
Had a private scan at 10 weeks, told close friends and DD.
Nhs scan is on xmas eve, I'll be about 13 weeks, will post it on facebook.

18 weeks and still waiting

Agree with @MsHedgehog

I think telling people who you would share or want to know about a miscarriage with is important.

I have had a mmc and am glad that the people I told at that point knew. It felt important to me that people knew that something like this had happened to me/was happening.

I cant imagine (for me) going through a loss both physically and the grieving whilst important people around you have no idea that this isnt just a normal Tuesday. My boss would have had to have known due to work pressures.

Due to a poor relationship with my mum, we hadn't told her. She has no idea that I have ever been pregnant so often makes insensitive comments and now I struggle over the words, I wish I had told her at the time.