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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Got my BFP this weekend!! Excited but already stressing about childbirth...

30 replies

sunshinecitrus1 · 30/11/2020 19:21

Hi Everyone!
Me and my OH got our BFP for our first baby a couple of days ago. We are really happy but also very shocked as it happened a little earlier than we anticipated! The last couple of days has been a mixture of emotions but I think we are still trying to get our heads around it, it almost doesn’t feel real just yet Smile

I am a MASSIVE worrier and have already been stressing about a gazillion things. I am a very squeamish person and always have been. I have passed out multiple times from seeing blood, blood tests, getting my belly pierced... And now I’m pregnant and completely freaking out about the thought of childbirth. I knew this would happen as it has always been a fear of mine!

I am only 5 weeks so of course I have A LOT to worry about from now to then anyway but I am just looking for anyone who is also squeamish and even better, if you’ve already had a baby, and got through childbirth... I want to hear your stories Smile It keeps going round in my head whether or not a C section would be best for me but I know that comes with it’s own complications. Any positive comments would really help me, pulling my hair out tonight!

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Oneandabean · 30/11/2020 19:59

I’d really recommend looking at the bump to baby chapter. They have a Facebook page and also an online course. I had a traumatic birth with my daughter and doing their course has really helped me feel so much better about this one. There was so much I didn’t realise about the choices I had the first time round

Happyheartlovelife · 30/11/2020 20:15

I had 2 c sections. They are more full of blood than a vaginal delivery usually. I would try my hardest to have a vaginal. Much better as in the recovery is easier. I have constant nerve damage which is well known with c sections. I can’t feel just above my pubic bone. I had severe blood loss. So severe that I ended up with W rare syndrome . Which nearly killed me. I am only the 300 woman in western world. That’s ever had it. So there those sort of things. I also had a ton of blood clots. A stroke etc. All from surgery.

The pain of childbirth is over relavitvly quickly. Not many are in pain for more than 72 hrs. Where as my illnesses and problems are life long.

The body is absolutely amazing!!! Us women are born with bodies that mature so we can give birth. When you think about it bits a magical beautiful journey

TheMagicDeckchair · 30/11/2020 20:16

Congratulations on your pregnancy news.

Childbirth is always a worry and a daunting prospect, but it’s different for everyone. There’s a lot of horror birth stories that even I wouldn’t read about (and I’ve done it once!). A c-section isn’t necessarily the “easy” way out, the recovery can be difficult with a newborn to look after and in a lot of cases a vaginal delivery is lower risk (although I appreciate this isn’t always the case and sometimes a c-sec is the lower risk route).

As you progress throughout your pregnancy you will be able to discuss birth options, pain relief etc with your midwife or consultant and hopefully that will help you feel more in control.

starlight14 · 30/11/2020 20:24

Sorry OP no advice but just want to say I completely understand your fears. I also pass out and need to lie down whenever I need a blood test/injection and I'm massively squeamish. I've just came off the pill in order to start TTC next month, I've pushed these fears to the back of my mind as I'm not going to let it stop me but hopefully someone with experience can give you advice!

starlight14 · 30/11/2020 20:25

Also congratulations Thanks

physicskate · 30/11/2020 20:27

My advice: look for the good stories. Ignore or cut off people trying to share their horror stories (sorry to previous posters with traumatic experiences)!!

You tend not to hear about the births that went smoothly. Women do feel the need to share/ warn others with their traumatic birth experiences.

The positive birth company is very instructive and informative. Hypnobirthing can be helpful for some women.

Sunshine1235 · 30/11/2020 20:36

I didn’t actually see much when I was giving birth. I was just focused on breathing and gas and air and pushing etc. My DH is the one who saw all the gross stuff. I don’t remember seeing blood and I didn’t look at the placenta or anything. I know that’s a simplistic response but it is a natural albeit unpleasant process so you might find you don’t react in the same way as seeing blood/having a piercing etc.

2Under22021 · 30/11/2020 20:42

Congratulations!

I'm so scared of needles blood and hospitals BUT I've i done it...and I'm pregnant with no.2 so it couldn't be that bad.

I ended up having a water birth with my first baby and I didn't see a lot of blood or anything. Hoping to have the same again for baby number 2!

I was also amazed at how in hospital like the rooms are. My best advice would be not to worry to much it's a weird thing to say but your body will know exactly what to do when the time comes.

Enjoy it
X

Gerdticker · 01/12/2020 03:58

I’ve had two vaginal labours in the past 3 years, both in birthing pools.

I reaaaaalllly recommend studying Hypnobirthing- the positive birth company course is excellent, it’s all online videos, and cheap at just £39.

I was so naive before I studied Hypnobirthing and antenatal courses; there’s so much crap on tv and film.
Seek out positive real birth stories to build your understanding and confidence

Birth is amazing and I had two incredible, empowering, positive experiences.
I studied, practiced, stayed supple with yoga, and having done it twice I can confidently say now it makes alll the difference to get educated and confident

Here’s a lovely positive birth video to get you started

LouisLitt · 01/12/2020 04:43

Completely echo @Gerdticker above. Educating yourself about the birthing process and the role of hormones will make you much better equipped. I did the course above and ended up having such a positive birth experience which I attribute to the hypnobirthing.

JemNo66 · 01/12/2020 09:43

I am super squeamish too, and worried about this so much when I had my DS. Im now pregnancy with my second and still just as squeamish, but less worried about how I will cope giving birth as I know I just will - you will too.

Make sure the professionals around you are aware you're squeamish though - for example I had to have a cannula in my hand, but I asked them to bandage it up so that I couldnt see where it went in, and they were absolutely fine with that - it really helped. I also go to the phlebotomy clinic for my pregnancy blood tests rather than letting the midwife do it - again, not a problem!

I had a vaginal birth and to be honest you don't really see what's going on down there, and I was too focused on pushing that baby out to worry about it. I also had an epidural, which I didn't want in my birth plan because the thought of it made me feel sick, but by the time it came to it I was so desperate for one that I wasn't squeamish about it at all!

You will be fine and will amaze yourself Smile

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 01/12/2020 13:01

Thank you so much for all of your comments they are really helping Smile

@Gerdticker @LouisLitt Thanks so much for the advice on hypnobirth. I am definitely going to look this up. Is this something you can get referred to do by the hospital or is this something you decided to do yourselves?

@JemNo66 Thanks so much for sharing your story with me Smile that sounds exactly how I get. I will definitely make them aware of it and my fears, hopefully it will make a difference like it did for you. I guess you have so much going on and adrenalin kicks in you can’t really think about it all as much as you think you will. How far are you now with your second baby?

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 01/12/2020 13:02

Thanks @physicskate as I know you mentioned hypnobirth as well Smile

OP posts:
wimbler · 01/12/2020 13:05

I'd also recommend Hypnobirthing. The positive birth company is great I did it for my 1st child. it really explains how labour works and how your body deals with it.

Good luck!

ContadoraExplorer · 01/12/2020 13:21

Congratulations OP!

It's natural to feel worried about the unknown, I was definitely excited but terrified in equal measures when I got the BFP!

I found that the positive birth book was quite good in giving information about your choices during pregnancy and labour and coping with whatever comes along. I also read a bit about hypnobirthing too.

Both helped me through the early stages of labour which ultimately ended in a c section and they also helped me deal with the unexpected change in my birth plan as well.

Gerdticker · 01/12/2020 13:45

@sunshinecitrus1 Some hospitals might promote their own antenatal and hypnobirthing courses. It’s hard to say how good they are, as so many of these courses are down to the talent of the individual giving the course.

The positive birth company has a few videos on YouTube. so you can get an idea of what’s offered. But they are recommended so much on this forum I would honestly just say buy the course today!!

One thought - I remember at the start of my first pregnancy, thinking that the NHS/midwives/someone would guide me through pregnancy and tell me what to do at every stage. The reality is not like that! Particularly not during these COVID times.

But actually it’s for the best I now realise. So much about pregnancy and birth is down to your individual approach and choosing what’s important to you. You will have a better experience if you take charge of your own destiny, ask questions, do your research - just like you have done by posting here on MN!

I hope you have a great pregnancy and birth x

Ginfilledcats · 01/12/2020 16:13

Other than my waters going, I saw no fluid or gross things at all during my pregnancy, labour or childbirth. Except for the vomit actually from weeks 6-18

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 01/12/2020 20:53

Thanks for all of your lovely messages! 😊

I am definitely going to buy the course via the positive birth company, it looks really helpful. I have been thinking a lot today and think if I can develop my knowledge on birth rather than shying away from it, it will hopefully make me feel more in control and prepared. So that is what I am going to do 😊

@Gerdticker I am going to purchase the course when I get paid thank you. And yes you are so right, you think you’re going to be guided but really you are just left to your own devices it seems! I am struggling with what I can and can’t eat at the moment too, constantly googling before I eat anything! I just want someone to give me a massive list of do’s and don’t’s lol. Thanks for your kind words, your message really gave me a little boost 😊

OP posts:
TiptopJ · 01/12/2020 21:01

I had water birth with gas and air for my 1st and an epidural for my second. If I ever have another I will absolutely have an epidural again. The only downside to it was that whilst I waited for the labour to progress I got hungry and a bit bored at times. Other than that it was brilliant, I was in complete control of the pushing (possibly because I knew how to push) but I felt great after the birth, really relaxed and healed really quickly.

Slat3 · 01/12/2020 21:12

I’ve had two births, one with an epidural and one with no pain relief. I’m due DC3 and still terrified of labour but I know I don’t want an epidural.
I bought the positive birth company digital pack & I've just started but so much of it resonates with me. Try not to be scared, that fills your body with adrenaline which really isn’t helpful during labour. Definitely look at ways to stay calm, I’m feeling a lot more confident after starting this then I did beforehand!

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 01/12/2020 22:49

Thank you for your positive birth stories ladies Smile @TiptopJ @Slat3

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PurpleFlower1983 · 01/12/2020 23:09

Mine was great! I felt NCT prepared me well so I was confident enough to stay at home for quite a long time. I was 8cm when I got to hospital at 4.30 and I had her at 6.45, home by 10pm. The birth centre was fab, I had her in the pool. The pain wasn’t as bad as I was expecting either, the worst part was the final contractions, felt like really intense, stabby period pains, but once I started pushing it was ok. I’m due my 2nd in August next year :)

Palmtree3 · 01/12/2020 23:13

I gave birth for the second time at the weekend. I was terrified after a first challenging labour but it was a totally different experience. I was induced with both so in my mind this time was going to be just like the first. Not at all. And it’s so worth it for the new baby!

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 01/12/2020 23:14

Ahhh congratulations OP!

I'm squeamish, terrified of pain and don't cope with anything gynae related so in April 20195 days before my due date with DD1 I broke down to the midwife who put me in for a chat with the consultant who agreed to an ELCS. Because it was planned it was SO relaxed and calm in theatre and I said immediately if I had anymore DC I'd have another. In October this year I did what I said and had another! DD2 was born via ELCS and again - totally calm and relaxed. I said from the start with her I wanted another CS.

I questioned the anaesthetist during what the difference between elective and emergency was in terms of the theatre and he said obviously emergency is more rushed whereas with a planned one the nurses and other people in theatre (about 9 of them) keep popping up behind the curtain to chat to the patient. When it's planned your DP or birthing partner can go in with you whereas an emergency they can't.

I was worried at first about the repercussions but honestly, it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined. With both I was driving after 2 weeks. If you do have one just listen to your body - I thought I was clever and tried to push the hoover around 3 days after my first and the pain was horrific from over-doing it. Second time round DD1 jumped on my stomach and again the pain was awful! It's easy to forget that a CS is major abdominal surgery.

What some trusts don't tell you is that it's YOUR CHOICE how you give birth so do your research. Good luck!