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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell your family you were pregnant?

41 replies

crabette · 04/11/2020 16:57

I know the typical general announcement is after 12 week scan - just curious as to how many of you guys stuck to this?

Was there anyone you told beforehand? Parents / close friends / family?

Just asking as thinking on it, my SIL and my aunt both told our families pretty much as soon as they found out - though kept it generally quiet until 12 weeks. Wondered how common this was?

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Original poster

crabette · 04/11/2020 16:58

Or did anyone not tell anyone other than your OH for the first 12 weeks?

OP posts:

1990shopefulftm · 04/11/2020 17:00

We told close friends and family at 9 weeks, I d had a private scan before lockdown started and thought since they couldn't find out in person it was nice to share the news earlier in a gloomy time. If something had gone wrong I would have wanted them to know.

eeiizzol · 04/11/2020 17:01

I panicked and sent to one of my friends before I told my husband a few hours later.

We told my mother, father and younger brother when I was 8 weeks. Told by 2 best friends at
10 weeks and then began telling people after my 20 week scan. Due to the environment I work in I had to let my manager know pretty early on around 8 weeks.

Superscientist · 04/11/2020 17:29

I told my boss as soon as I found out due to my job. A few of my colleagues found out in the following weeks as I needed them to do things I could no longer do.

We told my partners parents at 14 weeks and his brother at 16 weeks. We told my family at 17 weeks and friends at 21 weeks

I quite enjoyed having it as our little secret although it was helpful having work know early as I had to have time off due to pregnancy sickness and appointments.
I am a keep it to myself sort of person with things in general. Tell people whenever it works for you don't stress about when others have told people

FingersCrossedForAllOfUs · 04/11/2020 17:33

It’s very much a personal choice and what you are comfortable with.
My DH told his close family as soon as we knew. (He tells them pretty much everything whatever it is!) I only told my close family at 15 weeks because I previously had an early miscarriage and I didn’t want to have to tell people if it happened again.

Parkandride · 04/11/2020 17:34

12 weeks, but before my scan as it considered with a birthday.
I really don't need other peoples emotions and opinions when I'm having a tricky time with early pregnancies nerves.

I did tell one close friend, my boss and a very supportive group of mainly online friends who met through our fertility clinic. I do think sharing it with a few people was helpful, for others that might be your family. Do whats right for you

lambo88 · 04/11/2020 17:34

We waited till the 12 week scan and took our family to a lovely Italian where we gave them a card with the scan in. Didn't tell work aswel till then x

DiabeticFirstBaby · 04/11/2020 18:05

I told work at 5 weeks as had to make adjustments about what I could and couldn't do. Didn't tell anyone else until we had the 12 week scan, i didn't want to tempt fate. Won't be buying anything for the baby untill we have had the 20 week scan too.

theresaplaceforus · 04/11/2020 18:39

Mum straight after I did the test! Dad 12 weeks. Wider family 20 weeks.

Turtleturtle81 · 04/11/2020 18:42

Around 16 weeks.
Currently 34 weeks and I have some family and friends that still don’t know.

Violetbeau · 04/11/2020 18:56

I waited til 5 weeks to tell immediate family as I believe that’s the cutoff for chemical pregnancy. From then on I told close friends if I saw or spoke to them (which hasn’t been often because of Covid hermit times) as I decided if the worst happened I didn’t want to suffer a miscarriage in silence. Told my manager at work pretty early too because of Covid risk assessment. Told my mum she could tell whoever she wants in terms of extended family but she had to be the one to tell them if something went wrong! Basically I stuck to the rule that I only told people I would be comfortable telling about a miscarriage, but I saw no reason for that to be a secret among close friends and family.

Violetbeau · 04/11/2020 18:59

I should add, I felt relief after telling friends. This is my first and it felt a bit lonely going through such a momentous new experience without being able to talk to anyone about how I was feeling.

MummaBear4321 · 04/11/2020 19:04

Immediate family was around 8 weeks. I knew if I had a miscarriage I would immediate tell my mom and sister anyway, so no need for secrecy. Everyone else was after the 12 week scan.

ivfbeenbusy · 04/11/2020 19:09

It's a personal decision and depends on your history - I've had multiple miscarriages and ruptured ectopics so have generally told my mum straight away - just in case things went wrong really which is a bit sad. The one time I didn't tell her as had a "good feeling" about it and was hoping to finally do a nice family announcement I ended up with up with another ruptured ectopic and had to tell her from the ambulance whilst they rushed me to hospital with the sirens going

This time round mum knew straight away and then once I'd had a viability scan at 6/7 weeks told dad/sibling but am having twins and bump very noticeable from 9 weeks so obviously anyone I saw in person also knew as couldn't hide it

Quail15 · 04/11/2020 19:54

15 weeks with my 1st - high risk IVF pregnancy.
13 weeks with my current pregnancy. I've had many loses before 12 weeks so I haven't wanted to tell anyone before then.

sbhydrogen · 04/11/2020 20:09

Told friends the week after I found out (I think was around 5 weeks), and then I told my parents after I had a picture for my 12 week scan.

With this pregnancy I'm gonna tell my parents just before Christmas because I can't be bothered to make excuses as to why I'm not drinking 🤣 I also don't know how far along I am, so maybe I will already be 12 weeks by the time Christmas rolls around!

Aahh99 · 04/11/2020 20:11

Our mums at 6/7 weeks..
My brother at 11 weeks, everyone else after 12 weeks.
32 weeks now...!

OhTheRoses · 04/11/2020 20:17

1st pg lost at 7 weeks - nobody knew except DH and me

2nd pg told them at 12 weeks and work - lost at 17 weeks.

Thereafter not until 18 weeks.

Lost at 6, 7, 12 at various points.

When I told my mother I wasn't coping after losing ds2 at 27 weeks she told me to be grateful I wasn't bringing up a child with serious disabilities. At that stage MIL told me she was glad SIL1 could perform.

Mixed feelings here re support which I'd have liked but never got because we kept most stuff to ourselves.

I'd say 12 weeks op tbh.

AdoraBell · 04/11/2020 20:20

Me? After the 12 week scan
DH? As soon as I told him and then MIL promised not to tell anyone told everyone she knew, family, friends, friends of friends, golf buddies, anyone who would listen

Trousersareoverrated · 04/11/2020 20:25

Im not telling anyone til after the 12 week scan this time. To be honest, 9 months is a loooong time- it’s really nice to have a little secret for the first part and then have the announcement to look forward to (and by announcement I mean phoning round telling people rather than some kind of social media photo)

MrBloomsLeftVeg · 04/11/2020 20:27

12 weeks. Only found out at 10. Told them as was skydiving the following day

DappledThings · 04/11/2020 20:31

Parents and siblings on both sides pretty much as soon as we knew. A few friends a couple of weeks later, more friends as and when it came up.

Never waited till after 12 weeks specifically, but if it came up in conversation before we'd had first scan I'd always said I was only X weeks so it was very early days.

MStaff20 · 04/11/2020 20:36

I only found out I’m pregnant on Sunday. Everyone in work found out on Monday as due to my job I had to disclose it. I told my best friend on Monday and we are telling our families at Christmas. So excited

Gojetter95 · 04/11/2020 20:43

My mother and sister day after my husband and I found out. Then my boss at about 10 weeks so I could have time off for the 12 week scan. Close family and friends after 12 week scan. Everyone else after 20 week scan.

DinosaurGrrrrr · 04/11/2020 20:46

My first child I told my family at 10 weeks after I’d had a couple of nhs scans (they thought it was ectopic). Second child I waited until 12 weeks to tell close family. Third pregnancy didn’t get past 7 weeks, only my husband and a close friend knew. Fourth pregnancy (currently 24 weeks) we didn’t tell family until 20 weeks (my in laws 22 weeks). We wanted our children who are quite young to know first but we wanted to wait until we felt confident it was ok, especially right after a miscarriage. I told my close friends right away though apart from with the third, so I had someone to talk to.

My family wouldn’t handle a loss very well (or say anything nice), my sils had losses and another close relative had one just last month and they were very dismissive “I’ve no idea why they told people” (they all shared before 12 weeks, some right away) “it was very early anyway, she’s so dramatic over it” etc etc. My mum even said “she can’t be so upset, she was on Facebook earlier posting other things” (no one publicly knew this relative was pregnant!) ridiculous comments! My parents still don’t know I was pregnant right before this pregnancy.

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