Due to give birth, do I break lockdown rules for support from my mum and sister with the baby??

[Diglett567]

So I'm due on the 7th November with my first child which means I'm going to give birth either just before or during the second national lockdown. I'm thinking about breaking the rules so that my mum and sister can meet the baby, I need some advice about wether that is an awful thing to do or not?
I do live at with my husband but I was hoping for their support in the first few weeks!

I would, you'll get so many people bashing you on here for asking this but I would let them meet the baby and help you with stuff, aslong as they aren't a key worker or working around lots of people. It's such a special time that you'll never get back, enjoy it... good luck xx

If they are genuinely coming to help (as in clean, prepare meals, do the laundry), then that is allowed. If they will come and hog the baby and expect you to wait on them hand and foot, then you should not let them in. As it’s baby number one, perhaps their offer of help will be more useful once DH has finished his paternity leave?

Yes. Let them come and support you.

I hear you, OP. I've got a three week old and am seriously considering asking MIL to provide childcare for my toddler a couple of days next week.

If they will be providing support for you then absolutely yes. Do your best with hand washing etc to be as cautious as you can be in this situation. I hope all goes well and you have your lovely baby soon 😊

You are allowed one support bubble - so one of them can help. Hopefully as of 3/12 both can officially.

Yes! Let them come and support you absolutely ☺️

Yes absolutely.

I had my second just before the first lockdown (dh had covid and was isolating at home and v sick for a while) I didn't ask for help because it just didn't seem okay then to do so.... it was almost unmanageable... I would definitely get the help. Good luck xxxx

I am due tomorrow. My sister is coming to help me with my toddler and the newborn and all the cooking, cleaning etc when DH goes back to work. It's not visiting. It's not a holiday. Its caring for someone who needs help. Having a baby is physically draining. If it was someone having surgery nobody would say someone should go without help.

So yes. IMO, do it.

Yes. Unless they are out partying and hugging everyone they meet. You will never get these days back.

I was due on Friday. Baby is still hanging on in there but she will be meeting her close family in November 100%

@Poppystars

You are allowed one support bubble - so one of them can help. Hopefully as of 3/12 both can officially.

Only one single person can bubble with another household, so if your mum or sister are single, one of them can bubble with you.

Or are you one of those special people that can bend the rules so that we all have to lockdown for longer?

Be honest... are they actually coming to help? Or is it they'll make the odd cup of tea but mostly sit nattering and having cuddles?

I know it goes against the grain but unless you are in a legitimate support bubbles with one of them (and it can be only one) or you or dh have additional needs yourself then this will be against the law.

I get that its crap though.

I would, I had my first the day lockdown was announced in March and we didn't see anyone for 10 weeks. It was so so hard, and when we did eventually have people come help it made so much of a difference.

Yes! Definitely. You have no idea how things are going to go and having the support of your family will make a massive difference. Good luck

I had my son just before the March lockdown. I think the perception of the virus was much more scary then. It was a horrible time, I really struggled with a newborn (and a toddler!) with no help whatsoever. I spent most evenings crying on the phone to my mum. We were both under the impression that meeting would be strictly against the rules. Plus I was terrified I’d unwittingly pass it onto her (she’s 70). However, now in hindsight I wish I’d just stayed in for 2 weeks then gone to stay with her. There’d be almost zero risk of passing on the virus and it would have really helped me out.
So yes, knowing what we do now about the virus, and what’s now “allowed”, I’d say definitely go and see your close family. Just keep your bubble small and the benefits of being together will far outweigh the risk of catching the virus.

Even if they are just making tea and chatting I'd still say that's ok and providing support to a new mother who may be vulnerable. It's so important to support mental health in those early days.
Although i hope they do help out more than that and make meals/whip the hoover round.

I would definitely. Bollocks to it. You would regret it forever if you didn't allow them round. Those first days are so special and so hard you will need the help and support physically and emotionally.

I’m amazed at the amount of people on here that would deny their family the chance to meet grandchild/niece/nephew whatever the relation. Do what is right for you and your family and stop letting public servants dictate your life.

This is very strange. I posted under a name change during the first lockdown saying how much I was struggling, was feeling almost suicidal and really wanted to see my mum and the almost unanimous opinion was that since I had my DP at home it wouldn't be allowed and that he should be my support (he absolutely is i just needed my mum).

Do what you need to do OP. I'd wait until DH has gone back to work though. Hard to spin you needed extra support when he's there for you

Actually there may be a silver lining here. You may not have baby until a couple of weeks into the lockdown and presumably your husband will take paternity leave at least for a couple of weeks which may - all being well - take you towards the end of lockdown - I know it won’t lift in a month but am hopeful it will return to local arrangements. It may genuinely be really nice to have that time as a little new family without your mum and sister... For context my (lovely, well meaning, kind) DM, much as I love her, and I really really do, drove me unexpectedly nuts after I had my first. Trying to hold the baby all the time, repeatedly stroking baby’s head when I was trying to get used to breastfeeding(!?), moving stuff around randomly in my kitchen, giving “helpful” (unsolicited and out of date) advice, making a lot of noise (not deliberately, I just never realised she lacked volume control until I had a newborn who was a very light napper...) trying to take the pram off me when out...

Also OP don’t forget you are legally allowed to meet one other person outside and bring the baby with you. So you can meet your mum and go for a lovely walk with the baby and not feel any rule-breaking guilt!

Rule breaking 🙄 oh my god, after seeing the packed outsides of pubs and people mingling, I think to not have a couple of your family members round who have been careful, wearing masks, not travelling far, and are following strict protocols generally in their day to day lives, then it's more then ok for them to visit post baby

OP I had a baby a few days after lockdown started and was very strict about not letting anyone into the house for months to help or visit. It nearly broke me. I became very depressed and had a very slow recovery from my section. My advice would be to accept whatever support your mum and sister are offering. If I could turn back the clock that’s what I would do.