Missed miscarriage help/advice

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, as some of you know I had what I suppose is a missed miscarriage on Thursday at 9 weeks, but baby only measuring 6 weeks/5.5mm. I had brown discharge for about a week then some red when I wiped and some clots. It’s been the worst time of my life so far.

I’ve been told to come back for a rescan on the 19th because of the small size, they can’t confirm it when it’s under 7mm without a rescan even though they told me at the scan it basically is all over.

I’m waiting to pass the baby, they gave me a leaflet saying it will be very painful and lots of blood gushing out. So far since Thursday I’ve just had dark brown with small lumps On a tissue and a bit on a pad, and sometimes a bit of red.

I was just wondering if anyone can help me - is it likely that if I carry on like this I will pass the foetus? Is it possible to miscarry without all the pain and gushing blood if they foetus is really small?

Ideally I want to pass it before Monday, as I don’t really want to have tablets or d&c, but I think really it’s seems likely that I will have to have some kind of management.

Any help or stories would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

I had a miscarriage during lockdown. I went for a scan at 11wks and baby was only 7wks. I had to then go to the hospital alone for it to be confirmed then go back 2 days later for the pill treatment as I wasn't allowed surgical.

I had to go to that appointment on my own as well.

I was then sent home with pads and bed pads incase it got bad.

I hadn't told work I was pregnant so I didn't have to tell them I was having a miscarriage however I was Still going into work as normal as I was having slightly heavy bleeding but nothing too bad.

Then at the beginning of June I was nights again and I started getting contraction like pains that were excruciating and I ended up telling my manager so I could get the next night off and so dh could come in and cover me.

When I was home I went to the loo and had a large gush and felt the baby coming away. Once that happened the pain stopped and the bleeding started to slow down.

So I was told on 21st May but it took till 8th June for it to pass.

My period returned on 13th July, then 11th August and I'm currently 8+5 weeks pregnant.

@Busybee143 thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so happy for you that you’re pregnant again ❤️ Are you on the May 2021 thread? Think I remember your name Xx

@GrandTheftWalrus that must’ve been so difficult for you, especially during lockdown. I feel very lucky that I am working at home full time and so is my husband, and also that he was allowed to come with me to the awful scan where I got the news on Thursday. I’m so pleased that things are going well for you this time - are you on the May thread?

I’m hoping that this horrible experience will be all wrapped up by the end of October, hopefully by the end of the week where I have my second scan 🤞 we’ve booked a few nights in Cornwall in mid November COVID permitting and I hope we can go and maybe even enjoy it. Xx

@Cafeaulait27 I am yes, look after yourself, hope you manage to get away x

Yeah I'm on there as well. We got told at a private scan as he was allowed to come to that one. I dont know what I would've done if I had been told alone.

Take care of yourself x

I had a MMC at 7 weeks and 2 days ( I had no clue other than bad dreams of bleeding and not feeling right)
Anyway I was told not to be silly. I didn't start bleeding until 11weeks and 6 days, so the baby's heart stopped beating at 7 weeks 2 days and the actual baby didn't pass until over 5 weeks later. I didn't even know this was a thing until I went through it, it's not always lots of blood gushing but it will pass and if it hasn't they will at the next scan check everything has passed I think due to infection and things like that.

Hope your ok!!

@FirefighterMomma gosh that’s crazy, and traumatic for you. I’m sorry for your loss. Hope you’re ok now? Did you have to have any management?

I did feel like I lost the tiredness in the evening and needing to wee a lot around 7 weeks, but I told myself symptoms come and go. I still have sore boobs and feel weak even now, but the baby hasn’t passed yet.

Hi OP. I had a miscarriage in March. Similar situation in that I was 9 weeks when I had a very small amount of spotting after an early scan showing a baby with a heartbeat measuring 2 weeks behind my dates. I didn’t have any pain at all for days. I was booked in for a scan to confirm and it was only on that day I had some backache. By pure chance whilst I was at the hospital for that scan I started losing clots - huge clots bigger than my hand and lots of them. These were all examined and found to be just clots. I too had wanted for it to pass naturally but the rate I was losing blood meant it just wasn’t safe.

Choosing between the pills and surgery felt like the worst decision I ever had to make - I didn’t want either. It felt like my body didn’t want to let go and I was forcing it to. I too was worried about surgery and fertility (I’m 35) so opted for the medical. They wanted me to stay in to check it had passed due to my blood loss. Unfortunately after 24 hours it was still just clots and by this time I had lost literally 50% of my hb level and the consultant basically told me I had to go for surgery immediately. I’m not telling you any of this to scare you, but more that once the surgery was done it was at least, done. There was no more guessing or waiting. 3 months later I was pregnant and I’m now 17 weeks with a little girl.

You are going through and awful time and it will stay with you - miscarriage destroys any chance of a future worry-free pregnancy. But it doesn’t mean you won’t get your baby in the end. Please look after yourself and also just be conscious that letting it happen naturally may not be textbook - have someone on standby who is able to run you to the hospital if necessary. And good luck with whatever you choose to do.

@Calgoose wow thank you for sharing and sorry for your loss. I’m so pleased you are now pregnant again and it’s going well.

That must’ve been so traumatic, but lucky you were already at hospital so they could monitor I guess at least. I do worry about the blood loss too, how on Earth are you supposed to know when it’s time to ring an ambulance when you’re going through that at home?

I feel the same, like my body doesn’t want to let go of it. I’m still not having any pain and only spotting. The baby looked so good on the scan (just small and not moving) psychologically I feel like it must want to stay... I know that sounds silly. It’s just all so horrible right now.

But thank you for your story of hope and best of luck with your pregnancy ❤️

@Cafeaulait27 yes I can imagine it would be hard to know. The thing is despite losing so much I actually felt fine and like I said - no real pain. I did end up collapsing a few times (whilst lying down - who knew that was possible) as I lost more but to start with it could easily have been defined as “normal”. The main thing is I’d have had no way of knowing if I had passed the baby or not. If you’d asked me I’d have been sure I must have but there is no way of knowing without the tissue being examined. I was also terrified of seeing something. Hospital was the best place for me but it was also literally just before Covid restrictions so my husband was with me throughout. I would say, once you get any amount of decent bleeding just go and get checked out to be safe. And don’t necessarily expect pain x

Hello. I have had a natural miscarriage and a silent miscarriage. With my silent miscarriage found at a 9 weeks scan I had absolutely no bleeding. My consultant recommended a d&c as the baby was big. It took another 4 days to be scheduled and still no bleeding before the procedure. The procedure I found really straightforward. Yes I was scared to the anaesthetic but everyone put me at ease and it's day surgery. No pain and light bleeding.

We managed to conceive about 5 months later but I lost that baby and I don't think it's related. That one I had light bleeding for 4 days and then suddenly I felt a period cramp pain and I passed the baby with big clots following. Took an hour tops and wasn't as painful as I expected.

With my first mmc - knowing that the baby had died inside and seeing the baby -
Mentally I found it so tough and just wanted it all over as quickly as they could get me in. I think I read to many stories of partial miscarriages. With my second as I wanted to hang onto my baby as long as possible and the natural
Mc was easier but it was a lot earlier (size of 7 week baby).

You must go what is right for you.

@welshladywhois40 I’m so sorry for your losses, thank you for sharing. Did you keep trying after the two losses or decide to stop if you don’t mind me asking?

Yes we did but it was a tough scary decision. I said no straightaway as I couldn't bear going through another mc. But my partner was still willing and we were not ready to give up. We have a son and it is really important for us that he has a sibling (small family).

So luckily as a write this post I am 25 weeks pregnant and my next son just gave me a big kick. The first 12 weeks of this pregnancy were full of anxiety but we are starting to feel hopeful.

It might not help but after my 2nd, my consultant did stated that multiples mc after 2 are actually rare - 2/3% and it's not classed as recurrent till after 3.

Hey @Cafeaulait27.

I should have mentioned that at the time, my PCOS wasn't formally diagnosed. Once it was, I also had Metformin, and just a little bit of Thyroxine to get my periods regular.

Unfortunately, I didn't fall pregnant again naturally after that. I needed a little bit of help to ovulate, which came in the form of Clomid. However, just the one dose got me my BFP, and I had my baby last year. I'm hoping to try again for a second later next year.

@welshladywhois40 that’s great, and good luck! Xx

@Dyra that’s wonderful, it’s to nice to hear happy endings. Good luck for when you try next year. Xx

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’ve recently had a missed mc and I’m just waiting for a date to have a D&C. My baby’s heart stopped about 17 days ago, when I was 10 weeks but the baby had been measuring 2 weeks behind from the start, so although I had a couple of early scans with a heartbeat, the growth and size didn’t add up with my dates and I knew it wasn’t going to make it.
I’ve had a few days of light bleeding which has now tapered off to brown discharge but no clots or cramping so I know it’s all inside still.
I had a D&C 10 years ago and whilst it’s obviously unpleasant and upsetting, I’d rather choose that than have the uncertainty of not knowing when the bleeding and pain might happen. I got pregnant a few months after my first mc and had a healthy pregnancy and now have 2 gorgeous daughters.
I really think the experience is unique for everyone, I’ve read a lot of accounts of how painful and scary miscarrying is but I’ve also spoken to friends who miscarried naturally and they said it wasn’t as bad as they expected, so I think it’s really hard to tell what your body will do. Good luck xx

@Kotchika I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. But I’m glad to hear you have two daughters. I hope you get a date soon for your D&C.

It’s a tough call, my baby is small so I wonder if I go for the pills it might come out relatively easily, but I think I’ll go off the advice of the nurses when I go in for my scan on Monday ☹️

I keep suddenly crying, cos my baby looked so happy in there and things seemed normal at first, I keep thinking what if it was healthy and my body killed it ☹️

Oh please don’t think that, nearly all first trimester miscarriages are caused by the embryo not having the right amount of chromosomes because the egg or the sperm wasn’t 100% healthy, which is very common and totally normal. There is no reason why your next pregnancy won’t be healthy, and even if you do suffer another mc, you’ll still have a high chance of a successful pregnancy. Having said all that, I totally understand why you’re thinking that way, but it wasn’t you or your body’s fault xx

@Kotchika thank you ❤️

I don’t mean to sound depressing, but I read on Tommy’s that 50% of miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities. So that leaves 50% that are due to other factors and could potentially be treated to prevent them.

I think it’s wrong that the nhs will only investigate after 3 miscarriages, if they investigated after 1 then so many more babies could be saved and there would be less trauma and heartache for couples. Obviously I understand though that the nhs is underfunded and this is the reason why. But I think too often women are fobbed off with ‘it just wasn’t meant to be’ which isn’t medically helpful. There is always a reason for miscarriage and couples deserve to know why but sadly it isn’t happening ☹️

@Cafeaulait27 thank you. I'm waiting for my scan on Monday with the early pregnancy unit. But unfortunately my spotting has got worse. It's a lot heavier and I feel like things are inevitable now. I feel so sad, but at the same time I just want things over with now. I hope everything is okay with you. I had a feeling something was off from that first scan. I can't believe how long things are taking to progress.

@moandy hope your scan goes as well as it can and gives you some peace hopefully.

The below is a bit TMI so don’t read on if you don’t want to read about my miscarriage:

In the end I didn’t need any treatment and my Second scan on Monday has been cancelled. I have probably been bleeding red for about 2 weeks now, and on Wednesday I got severe pain in my abdomen which got progressively worse and painkillers didn’t make a differenCE, I passed lots of clots and so much bright red blood. The pain was so bad I nearly passed out and almost threw up. When the pain got really bad, I went back to the toilet and it’s then the foetus dropped out and into the toilet bowl. I fished it out - it was a clear sac with a little shrimp like foetus inside floating around. I was oddly fascinated by it. I have kept it in a tuppaware in the fridge in case someone will test it for me, but if not we will bury it in the garden this weekend.

The pain subsided pretty quickly after this. It was painful but I’m really glad it happened naturally and I was able to keep it. Xxx

Also - I passed so many huge clots which I thought were the foetus, but they weren’t. I flushed them all saying goodbye to them. But then the pain got worse and worse and then I passed it. It literally plopped out and was quite heavy, I felt it dropping through my body. I was so glad the pain was over. I didn’t know what was going to happen or that it would look the way it did, and no one told me what I should do with it after.

I’m looking forward to choosing a little tree at the weekend and putting it in a pot with the baby, so it will always be with us.

I don’t think testing is likely so I feel like this will be the best option.

I hope this helps anyone who may read this thread in the future, xxx

Really sorry to hear what you have been through @Cafeaulait27 such an awful time and experience for you xx

Really sorry to hear what you've been through @Cafeaulait27. At least the worst but is over now and you can start rebuilding the little bits you need to rebuild within yourself. I like your tree idea, it's lovely.

Thank you @DiabeticFirstBaby @Busybee143 ❤️

We planted our baby in this pot today at the end of the garden, but we can see it from the kitchen window. It felt good to say goodbye but know that it will always be with us. We planted a Pieris which is one of my favourite evergreen shrubs. We’ve had to put chicken wire around it as we have a fox problem - they dig up everything.

I’m still getting a bit of cramping, apparently now my uterus is returning to normal size. Hopefully the bleeding will stop sometime next week and I will start to feel more ‘normal’ again.

If anyone ever has to go through this I can highly recommend a memory box (it has my file, the scan picture, Positive pregnancy tests and all my appointment letters in there) and planting it in a pot if you manage to catch it. I think it’s really helped us. Xxx