Consultant has advised I should have a c-section - looking for advice

[MinesALatte]

I’m 18 weeks and had a call with a consultant, and due to medical history I have been advised to have a c-section. Is there anything I can do to prepare myself better for this? Any good stories people can share? Quite scared!

I had one too. Advised by consultant. I was so scared but it was really fine. I read lots of positive stories beforehand which helped

Focus on the positives, OP. No labour pain, a calm, planned delivery on a prearranged date, and avoiding all the potential medical complications of your condition. That’s quite a big plus to set against your natural fear of the unknown!
For the theatre staff it will be just another day at the office - it’s all very routine, and you’ll find their matter of factness calming.
Your anaesthetist will be with you throughout, and will explain what is happening and reassure you.
You will not see the incision or any of the “business end” during the op, but your baby will be handed over the drape to you as soon as it’s safe to do so.
You will not feel any pain, but you will feel as though someone is rummaging about on your tum - pressure sensation is not blocked by the spinal.
Your blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen saturation will be monitored and the anaesthetist will intervene if necessary by giving fluid or medication via your drip to maintain everything in normal range.
I’m a retired anaesthetist, and after 36 years service, I can honestly say I never had a patient who wasn’t relieved and delighted after a section, however nervous they may have been beforehand!
Don’t spend your whole pregnancy worrying about the delivery - just look forward to your baby, and let the obstetrician deal with the mechanics of it!

My second much less of an emergency one was amazing. They took the drape away just before dd started to emerge so we could watch and although I didn't realise at the time, everyone went quiet so the first sound she heard was my voice. We got delayed cord clamping then she was given a quick rub down and given to me for skin to skin. I think she was on my chest within 4 minutes from her first breath. Watching her slowly be born was so beautiful and surreal, like seeing a butterfly emerge from it's chrysalis. They did her measurements in recovery about 2 hours later and we went home the next day. I think it's hard to come to terms with at first if you have a clear idea of how you wanted to give birth however my daughter's birth was the most magical, amazing experience of my life.

I had emergency section 1st time and planned section with 2nd. I can hand on heart say that my planned section was incredible.
It was calm, even if I freaked a bit when I walked into theatre (I've had bad experiences every time I've had surgery unfortunately) She was lifted up and shown to me, then they cleaned her up, weighed her, all in my sight and then brought her straight for cuddles and the midwife took photos of us as a family. In recovery I just cuddled her, and the midwife came and helped me get her latched on for breastfeeding.
The recovery was insanely fast comparatively to my first. I was up and about by 6 am after having section at about 1230pm the day before (had to wait for catheter to be removed), I left that evening even with complications for both me (big clot) and bubba as was all checked and cleared. I went out for a walk to the local shop on day 6 and by day 9 went to appt at hospital, to register her, into town and to my sons school, all by bus and walking. I felt ready and it felt amazing to be out.

You are sore and I will say listen to your body. Take pain medication religiously on schedule and accept any help and support from people around you. What I will say noone warns you about is your first time going for a poo! Sorry if TMI but it can be agonising and I think the meds you have while in labour bung you up. Definitely raise your legs on a stool and get some lactulose or alike in to soften everything. Just makes it a bit easier!
A next to me crib made life easier for me too with breastfeeding in the night as I didn't need to get in or out of bed, though DP was always on hand if I did need some help.
If your planning to breastfeed always keep a bottle of water and snacks with you too, I found that really helpful so I didnt have to up down too much unnecessarily.

Take each day as it comes honestly. Listen carefully to your body, and focus on just looking after yourself and baby! If anything I've missed or you want to know feel free to ask!

I had such a positive experience with my ELCS last year. Lovely and organised. I was on my feel that evening. I was feeling well enough to be discharged the next day but I stayed an extra night for help with breastfeeding. I was completely pain free by about 2/3 weeks post op. Signed off for driving at 5 weeks.

I had an emergency c section 4 weeks ago and will be having an ELCS if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again. The anaesthesiologist came and spoke to me before hand and explained what would happen and I felt very reassured. Everyone in theatre was lovely and my DP was able to sit next to me. They passed my DS over the drape about 15 minutes in and then my DP was able to hold him next to me for the rest of the surgery. The midwife lifted him onto me and helped me to breastfeed on the way back to the room.

Only negative was I was unable to pee in the six hours they gave me after surgery so had to have a catheter put in for a few days but I insisted on going home after two days so the district nurse was able to come and remove it at home for me.

4 weeks in the pain is mostly gone and my scar is healing nicely. I have had a much easier recovery than my friend who recently had a traumatic natural birth.

Best of luck when the time comes

Thank you so much everyone! Such amazing stories and so helpful xx

I had an overwhelmingly positive experience with my ELCS. I was lucid and calm and laughing with DP and the anaesthetist as my little girl was born, I got a massive wham of euphoria that lasted days as soon as she was lifted out, and the discomfort afterwards was minimal - it was really no worse than tender within 48 hours, and at 4 days out we were all sat down the local pub with family.

Every medical professional I've had occasion to see since has quietly acknowledged that the vast majority of the time, ELCSs are by far the easiest of all the options to go through and they very very seldom throw up any problems afterwards.

Did anyone feel guilt at not having a vaginal delivery? I feel like I’m taking the easy route (despite the consultants advice) and fear I’ll feel like I’ve missed out

I did initially, especially because I wasn't actually advised to I requested it although the consultant didn't disagree with me. However a vaginal delivery resulting in traumatic birth injuries or worse my baby being injured would have been so much worse. I did what I still believe to have been best for me and my baby and that makes me a good mum. It's not an easy route by any means, it's major surgery which has its own risks and I bossed it for my baby.

No guilt whatsoever, just two healthy babies. My first was an emcs after a failed induction. I was exhausted and it was 4am but hearing her cry was the best thing ever. I was up and about hours after the surgery and recovered well.
I had an elcs 4 months ago with DD2 and that was so calm. It felt nice to be organised and planned, as we were in the middle of lockdown and childcare was more difficult. I saw her seconds after she's been born and we were able to have skin to skin not long after.
I was only in for 24 hours afterwards and recovery has been fine.
Once you have that beautiful baby in your arms, you won't care how they were born!

I didn’t feel guilty or like I’d missed out. It’s all just part of becoming a mum. You do what is best for your baby, even if it means letting go of some ideas about how you think things ‘should’ be done.

I have never understood the guilt thing. You are giving this baby the best chance in life by not risking a vaginal birth, which your consultant has told you is too dangerous. Don't give it a second thought. Please.

A planned c section is also a LOT easier and better than an emergency one. Really. Yes, it's surgery, which is never fun, but it's one that can be done carefully and safely and you will be so happy to have the baby at the end. Recovery is often said to be harder after a c section, but in my experience, recovery after an elective is not that bad - most likely because you haven't first spent 24 hours in labour and then gone through intense stress when they decide it's time to do an emergency section! .

I had 2 elective sections. Was so fucking scared both times ( we laugh about it now) .

I did feel very vulnerable but it’s all so calm and in hand . Both lovely experience. Was able to breastfeed. Recovery was good both times.

Did anyone feel guilt at not having a vaginal delivery? I feel like I’m taking the easy route (despite the consultants advice) and fear I’ll feel like I’ve missed out

Yes, despite the fact both mine were emergency sections and I laboured for roughly 75 hours with dc1 followed by 2 hours of pushing and failed forceps. Who knows what I though the "hard" route was meant to look like. Ultimately, nothing is guarantee when it comes to birth. I planned for vaginal but I didn't plan for giant headed babies not being able to circumvent what is apparently a sub optimal pelvis. My eldest Sil planned for a water birth, she got a 3rd degree tear in an hospital elevator which still gives her issues 12 years later (also giant headed babies). The only part of my birth plans that went to plan was that I got a baby both times but that was the most important part.

I think it's fine to grieve the birth you envisaged but what it's maybe worth considering exactly what you think you'd be missing out. From friends and family members and my own labours, that's a whole bunch of experiences from the amazing to the heartbreaking. We don't get to pick the one we want.

No guilt about my choices. But intrigued as to how I would have coped with it. And also would love to know how dh would have found the experience.

I had one a few months ago. It was such a calm experience and all very upbeat. They even offered for me to chose a song to play

Tummy was sore for about a week but got significantly better after two or three days. The worst part is standing up for the first time afterwards. Hold onto your tummy because it will feel like it's going to fall off! I think one of those pregnancy support belts would have been really useful.

Would definitely recommend it as a positive experience. After a few days you'll feel mostly back to normal. Will need somebody to bring you drinks and meals for a few days/week or two though as it's annoying having to get up.

Meant to say I had the EMCS in the evening and was up and about the next morning! Went home at lunch time

*weeks ago. Baby brain

Thank you so much everyone. This thread has helped me loads

@SpaceOP I believe my c-section is more to protect me. Long story short I’ve had four operations on my perineum (not childbirth related, I’m a FTM) and the consultant has suggested I’m at risk of severe tearing so it feels like it’s more to protect me

I know what you mean about potentially feeling guilt. Although my first was a vaginal delivery it was under full epidural (In theatre, forceps after failed suction and if forceps failed we’d be straight to c-section) and resulted in a 3b tear. Because of the epidural I couldn’t feel a thing, and my second baby was born by ELCS.
I do sometimes wonder what delivering a baby feels like, but for me the risk of another serious tear and the continence issues that could come with that were too much of a risk and I’m glad I had the c section. I wasn’t willing to trade the 24 hours of birth for the rest of my life with problems. It was calm and quick.
Recovery was better than after my natural delivery because I wasn’t tired from days of labour. I had morphine, paracetamol and ibuprofen in the hospital in the first 24 hours. Then paracetamol and ibuprofen for 7-10 days at home. By three weeks I was comfortable moving and doing normal things, but I kept away from heavy lifting until 6-8 weeks to be safe.

I had an ELCS this year after previous birth trauma. It was better than my car crash natural birth but no easy ride. Things to watch out for- feeling sick during surgery. This came on really suddenly and severely for me- fortunately I had read on here to tell the anaesthetist straightaway who administered some meds.

For me the pain on first day out of hospital was very bad- first day on regular painkillers rather than morphine. I had to take painkillers religiously on time otherwise things went downhill

Digestive system can go wrong after abdominal surgery- I had the most unbelievable gas pain.

Finally I had an infection in the incision which is not uncommon and was worrying. They tell you about incredibly rare risks in great detail (mine was maternal request due to previous birth trauma so they tried to deter me) but don't really talk enough about the more common side effects and how to manage them.

I don't regret it though- it is great knowing what to expect and knowing obstetricians rather than midwives are running the show. Think I was just unlucky to get all the minor side effects!!

Two c sections for me, no natural births for mental health reasons. Very happy memories of meeting my little ones. The Surgical teams are amazing people and will look after you so well.

Anaesthetist was amazing - sits next to your head and only focussed on you so reassures you. DH cut the cord, I had skin to skin immediately (until my blood pressure went through the floor and I was worried I was going to drop DS then DH took over).

Breastfed straight away, no issues at all (I think all the pain meds mean it is not uncomfortable at all).

Advice I always give: take all the drugs prescribed, on time, for the whole prescription. Do not think you can manage - much easier to keep a steady state of pain relief. Second, buy a C-Section support belt - the hard protection meant I felt confident in picking up DS without worrying about knocking scar. Finally, pack the same hospital bag as if you were planning on vaginal birth - all the advice seemed to be aimed at what to take for labour (which you won’t need) but you will need the snacks, drinks, phone charger, magazines etc on the postnatal ward.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

2 CS for me. First was emergency, second was 'planned' 24 hours prior

It is really important to get out of bed and move as soon as you can and stand up straight as soon as you can, but take your time doing the action.

As PP said, keep on top of your painkillers even if you feel fine.

I ate loads of dried apricots/fig rolls to help with the constipation, and it worked.

Buy massive knickers so that elastic doesn't rest on the incision.

When you sit up, it's best to roll onto your side, and then swing your legs down & push up with your arms.

When walking some people find it easier to roll up a towel and hold it against their scar...this definitely helped me if I needed to cough/laugh.

Nothing can prepare you for the trapped wind pain, but they can give you things to help with it, make sure you ask.

I was doing the shopping in the supermarket on my own (with DS) after a couple of weeks the second time around!