Does BF always mean sleep deprivation?

[SqidgeBum]

I am pregnant on DD2. I ff DD1 for personal reasons. I want to give BF a go this time around, but I have been put off a bit by scary stories from friends and peers. All my friends, my NCT group, my colleagues, and family seem to have had a really hard time with BF and sleep. Basically, they dont sleep for months and months. My neighbour has an 11 week old and hasnt had more than 2-3 hours sleep a night since the day he was born. Half the time she doesnt get one minute of sleep. He can cluster feed for 17 hours a day!

Did anyone have a good experience of sleep and BF? I dont mind being up in the night. Even with FF DD1 I was up a lot, but I have zero family support, a toddler under 2, and a husband who works 12 hour shifts. I cant have basically zero sleep for months and months, not to mention I cant sit on a couch feeding for 8 hours a day with a toddler who still needs attention. Someone please tell me its easier than I have been told? I dont want to start with the mentality that I am destined to give up.

I'm not biased here (I did say upthread that my FF baby was and is a terrible sleeper!) but I would take the "my baby sleeps x hour stretches at 8/10/12 etc weeks" posts with a pinch of salt.

The people I've know who had bad sleepers who were breastfed mostly found it all went wrong around 4 months when the regression hit.

Having said that, there are babies (both BF and FF) for whom the regression just isn't that big a deal. It all depends on the baby, as others have said!

Nope. The baby I know who slept through (12 hours) at 4 weeks was bf.
My bf eldest was a none sleeper. But hes still a none sleeper aged 11 years. Its just the way he's made.

I bf both of mine. It's true that they woke frequently for feeds but unlike ff I would feed them lying down in bed. We coslept (positively encouraged then to prevent cot death). My 3 months old they had learned to latch without help and I wouldn't even wake more than a stir. I fed until 18 months. Added advantages are it's free, no bottles to wash, always correct temperature and because I travelled a lot it made life easy

My first was ff and an amazing sleeper. He would go 11 hours without waking from 13 weeks onwards and pretty much never stopped. No nighttime regression at four months either. People who insist anyone like me is lying really piss me off. Why would I lie to anyone never mind strangers on the Internet? Some babies sleep, sorry if people don’t want to hear that but it’s true. I don’t take it as any reflection of my own parenting or claim any credit for it. Because he was ff my husband was able to do some of the night wakings in those first three months and he always settled fast after a bottle so hand on heart, I wasn’t really tired by the time he was a month or two old. I know now how unusual that is!!

My second was bf and despite by best efforts to establish mixed feeding, became a full on bottle refuser. To be honest with you it was hell and I regretted every day ever starting bf. I had two under two and was on my knees plus my husband was miserable that he couldn’t help me with the awful nights.

As someone who established bf for the first time with a second baby and a young toddler, even though DD was on paper a great feeder and we never had any real issues, it’s blinking hard. I only survived by keeping my eldest in nursery for his usual three days per week.

Individuals like me can only give you anecdotes based on our own experience. It has to be your decision and there were definitely some advantages to the bf. I’m not someone who is convinced at all by the extreme pro-bf ‘evidence’ and certainly between my two I see no advantage to Dc2 in how they were fed. Do what’s right for you when the time comes! In my experience both my babies knew exactly how they wanted to be fed and neither would be persuaded otherwise so I would go with the flow with any third baby that came along (not that I’m planning one).

Currently EBF a 4 week old (my first) - he sleeps a minimum of 4 hours (usually closer to 5) when he first goes down at night, wakes for a feed and then goes back down for about another 3 hours. He does feed a lot more than that during the day but is a quick feeder so each feed takes about 10-15 mins (and no prepping/sterilising needed). He's still a lot of work because let's face it he's 4 weeks old but feeding has not been an issue. I don't think it's because he's breast fed though- I think I'm just incredibly lucky that he's a good night sleeper! I certainly can't claim any credit for it, I'm a FTM and have no idea what I'm doing. I have also read research that on average breast feeding mums get more sleep because the hormones release when you BF make you fall asleep more easily after a night feed etc.

In my experience, if I had made a decision based on anecdotal evidence I probably wouldn't have tried breast feeding - first time mum, flat nipples (harder for feeding apparently), had an emergency c section - statistically breast feeding should have been a bit of a nightmare for us but we have been incredibly lucky and he latched on 30 mins after the birth and has been feeding well and thriving since!

My advice would be, if you are wanting to try it then give BF a go, keep an open mind, and just move to formula if you feel it's not working for you. Good luck :) x

My BF baby slept through at 11 weeks 6 days 7pm - 7am! No 4 month sleep regression!
Some BF babies will sleep, some won’t.
Some FF babies will sleep, some won’t.
I think you get either a sleeper or not, regardless of how you feed them!

As an aside, I also get irritated by people claiming bf is free. What about the cost of special nursing bras and clothes, possible private lactation consultant (several people I know used them in sheer desperation), pump, storage bags, lansinoh cream (£10 a tube!), Vit D drops etc.

Of course none of that is technically essential but in my experience those are mainly norms for every bf mum I’ve ever come across.

Bf has some advantages but by my calculations it cost me the same as a year of formula for DC1 (and I didn’t pay for any of my BF support).

(It also nearly cost me my sanity but that’s harder to quantify)

I breastfed both my dc. Dd1 was a great sleeper from 6 weeks old but dd2 was horrendous for years and beyond breastfeeding.
I think a lot of it is down to luck.

Mine mostly were amazing sleepers first 2 weeks, then again once we'd got past the early 6-8 weeks. Then went to shit again about 4 months then settled back again about 7/8 months.

A good night would be dream feed at 10 ish, husband did expressed feed around 1ish, BF about 4, awake at 8.

But even on a less good night, the benefits of BF were massive. Mainly that I could stay pretty sleepy, feed, burb and put back in cot / basket then conk straight out again. If I had been FF I would be fully awake due to making up bottles etc and pretty sure it would take me lot longer to go back to sleep.

I have 7 children and the ones I formula fed definitely slept better and were more settled than the breastfed ones but yes some babies are just rubbish sleepers no matter how you feed them.

Try breastfeeding and see how it goes, you can always change if it doesnt suit you.

It was the same either way here.

When they are small they don't drink a lot in one go even with a bottle.

I found bf easier in the middle of the night and less disruptive than FF tbh.

The benefit of FF was that my DH did it too of course!

My son woke every 4 hours. He would do a 15 min feed in the night. It was tough but I didn't find it horrendous and if I had another baby I would BF again without reservation.

Sorry I should have said first few months it was more frequent, every 2-3 then it settled about every 4 after 3 months.

Wow! So many reassuring stories. Maybe I have just been around slightly unlucky women with babies who don't like sleep.

I definitely feel a bit better about BF now. I might be lucky and DD2 might sleep like DD1 ...... probably slim chance but we can hope haha.

Now I just need to do some reading on BF. I have zero clue other than pop them on and thats it.

@GeorginaTheGiant do what you want and what you got to do but think it's a bit unnecessary to bash breastfeeding the way you just have. fair enough that was your experience but, in general, if you are exclusively breastfeeding it is much cheaper. no pump, no bottles - that's not exclusively breastfeeding. so really, 10 pound nipple cream and my 4 nursing bras which was about 20 quid. it's not comparable. I have no issue with formula feeding whatsoever but let's stick to being unbiased when giving advice to someone who is deciding whether to give it a try or not.

also, the reason breast milk is noted as being ideal is because of the antibodies. again, nothing against formula but they are impossible to replicate.

btw, please dont come back defensive, I'm not interested in another thread going breastfeeding vs formula feeding, it's been done to death. but, sorry, you needed to be called out for the infactual aspects of your posts (the cost side and the "evidence" comment)

good luck OP, you never know you might get a good sleeper!

Ds2 is 11 weeks. Bar his first 2 weeks hes been a perfect sleeper. Down at around 9:30pm, feed at anywhere between 3-5. Feeds for around 15 mind. Up at 7:30ish. I feed him laid in bed so can doze too. DS1 was similar

I think its completely baby dependent. I BF and my 9mo wakes every 1-2 hours. It's not ideal but I love BFing and would stop if I didn't.

He does also have eczema so I think the itchy skin doesn't help to be fair.

I have noticed many mothers say BF is handy as you can doze/co-sleep. I know people advocate for it, but it kind of freaks me out thinking i would roll over and kill her.

Has anyone managed to BF and baby sleep in a moses basket or a cot beside them? I imagine it would be hard to stay awake as you arent physically getting up like you need to with FF.

BF both mine. First six weeks for DD involved little sleep but she then slept from about 12-6 which gradually lengthened and my life transformed as I was able to get a decent block and amount of sleep. I carried on EBF for 7 months then mostly BF with some FF (due to going back to work) for another 7 months. DS started similarly but didn’t settle into decent sleeping pattern (though feeds did space out more) until at 10m I decided I had had enough as I couldn’t cope with sleep deprivation and work and sent DH in at night instead of me so DS gave up waking up. So still better than some friends where the night waking went on for years!

So it might work out well, it might not so give it a go and see.

I struggled with the sleep deprivation of breastfeeding a lot to begin with but it was nothing as bad as your friend makes out. By 5 weeks I was having uninterrupted stints of 4-5 hours. By month 5 cluster feeding (worth a google if u don't know what it is) was over and I'd reached the lovely & wonderful stage where it was just 100% benefits from then on. Loved it and continued to over 16 months. So yes it was very hard in the beginning but totally worth it imo. My own personal experience.

My first was combi fed and my second exclusively breastfed. By 8 weeks my second was sleeping through my night 10-5. I get up at 5:30 on weekdays so I can get ready before the kids get up. Obviously we had bad nights when she was teething or going through a leap, but on the whole she was great

My first didn't sleep that well at all.

I’m breastfeeding my 3rd and every baby has been different. DD slept 9pm-6pm from 6 weeks, ds1 woke up every couple of hours until he was 2! Currently feeding ds2 who feeds at 10pm, 1am, 4am and 7am. He cluster feeds in the evening too. I’d say go for it: you can always mix feed or formula feed if breastfeeding doesn’t work out x