When did you announce?

[firsttimemummyxxxxx]

I’m trying to decide when is best to announce my pregnancy... I’ve been thinking 12 weeks after I’ve had my scan. At the 12 week scan I know there is the screenings, do you find out there and then if something is wrong? (Sorry, this is my first pregnancy!) x

Told mine and DHs parents at 7.5weeks as lockdown began - they were still happy going and visiting other family etc and I wanted them to know that I wasn’t happy for anyone to come to ours. Told best friend at 12 weeks 😊 told another couple of very close friends after lockdown started to ease at around 21 weeks after my big scan.
The girls that I work with all know but apart from that we haven’t announced it at all lol. No mentions on social media or anything and apart from work I haven’t really been going out so haven’t seen anyone 😊 31 weeks now - might do an announcement once baby is here safely 🤞🏼

I'm on my 4th pregnancy but no child yet. When we first got pregnant I was so excited I told a lot of people including my work. When we were 11 weeks my partner told his family and various friends, we felt we were nearly home dry as the scan was next week. But then I miscarried. At first I didn't mind that everyone knew but later I realised that by being open I'd made people feel free to bring it up whenever they wanted. So on days when I really didn't want to talk about it people would ambush me (of course with good intentions). A male relative of my partner's brought it up when we were alone at a family gathering and I felt like I had to say optimistic things I didn't mean just for polite conversation which made me really angry. I didn't appreciate being out on the spot and wasn't comfortable being suddenly brought to tears by people I didn't feel close to.

One ectopic, then a third pregnancy that through a series of misunderstandings by family, suddenly everyone knew about again from the start. Another miscarriage and I got my partner to tell everyone it was 100% a forbidden topic. No one was allowed to give me condolences. It made everyone else feel weird but I don't care at all, I'd do it again. People say the stupidest and most frustrating patronising shite mainly to make themselves feel less awkward. Everyone thinks they understand but they don't. They start talking about how frequent miscarriage is as though that's somehow helpful. And dragging up the names of whoever else has had one as though that's evidence of something. Single miscarriages are nothing like multiple losses. Anyway sorry I'm just ranting now.

I'm sorry I don't want to hijack your question talking about my own pain! Not trying to scaremonger. But basically I want you to know if I could do it all again I would tell only my mum and sister. Not even any friends. Once people know you can't take it back, and you just don't know what you'll feel like later. There are close friends I love who know, and I would have thought that I would need their support, but even the fact they know feels intrusive sometimes. Grief can be very private. Which was news to me, I am a big oversharer!

Of course it's up to you, do what's right for you. But that's my two cents. Xx

I told my work very very early, at 5 weeks. Because my job is very physical and I was hauling 20kg boxes around every morning. Just my boss, but then covid happened and all pregnant employees were forced to isolate. So my work knew before my family did!
My trip home was cancelled (again, covid) so my big planned family announcement fell through.
I ended up telling my parents over the phone at about 8/9 weeks. Then the rest of the family after the first scan