When did you announce?

[firsttimemummyxxxxx]

I’m trying to decide when is best to announce my pregnancy... I’ve been thinking 12 weeks after I’ve had my scan. At the 12 week scan I know there is the screenings, do you find out there and then if something is wrong? (Sorry, this is my first pregnancy!) x

[Laanie]

I told my work very very early, at 5 weeks. Because my job is very physical and I was hauling 20kg boxes around every morning. Just my boss, but then covid happened and all pregnant employees were forced to isolate. So my work knew before my family did!
My trip home was cancelled (again, covid) so my big planned family announcement fell through.
I ended up telling my parents over the phone at about 8/9 weeks. Then the rest of the family after the first scan

[Doughnut100]

I'm on my 4th pregnancy but no child yet. When we first got pregnant I was so excited I told a lot of people including my work. When we were 11 weeks my partner told his family and various friends, we felt we were nearly home dry as the scan was next week. But then I miscarried. At first I didn't mind that everyone knew but later I realised that by being open I'd made people feel free to bring it up whenever they wanted. So on days when I really didn't want to talk about it people would ambush me (of course with good intentions). A male relative of my partner's brought it up when we were alone at a family gathering and I felt like I had to say optimistic things I didn't mean just for polite conversation which made me really angry. I didn't appreciate being out on the spot and wasn't comfortable being suddenly brought to tears by people I didn't feel close to.

One ectopic, then a third pregnancy that through a series of misunderstandings by family, suddenly everyone knew about again from the start. Another miscarriage and I got my partner to tell everyone it was 100% a forbidden topic. No one was allowed to give me condolences. It made everyone else feel weird but I don't care at all, I'd do it again. People say the stupidest and most frustrating patronising shite mainly to make themselves feel less awkward. Everyone thinks they understand but they don't. They start talking about how frequent miscarriage is as though that's somehow helpful. And dragging up the names of whoever else has had one as though that's evidence of something. Single miscarriages are nothing like multiple losses. Anyway sorry I'm just ranting now.

I'm sorry I don't want to hijack your question talking about my own pain! Not trying to scaremonger. But basically I want you to know if I could do it all again I would tell only my mum and sister. Not even any friends. Once people know you can't take it back, and you just don't know what you'll feel like later. There are close friends I love who know, and I would have thought that I would need their support, but even the fact they know feels intrusive sometimes. Grief can be very private. Which was news to me, I am a big oversharer!

Of course it's up to you, do what's right for you. But that's my two cents. Xx

[RWK29]

Told mine and DHs parents at 7.5weeks as lockdown began - they were still happy going and visiting other family etc and I wanted them to know that I wasn’t happy for anyone to come to ours. Told best friend at 12 weeks 😊 told another couple of very close friends after lockdown started to ease at around 21 weeks after my big scan.
The girls that I work with all know but apart from that we haven’t announced it at all lol. No mentions on social media or anything and apart from work I haven’t really been going out so haven’t seen anyone 😊 31 weeks now - might do an announcement once baby is here safely 🤞🏼

[ChanklyBore]

I’ve had several pregnancies. Sometimes I’ve stated mentioning it as soon as I knew myself at 4-5 weeks. Sometimes I’ve waited until 24 weeks plus. Very much dependent on the circumstances of my pregnancy, when I was expecting it to end, and who I was talking to.

[Dinosaursdontgrowontrees]

I’m currently 14weeks pregnant with my 3rd I told a couple of close friend straight away. I told a few more people after the scan but lots of people still don’t know, it’s a personal thing, no right or wrong answer so what ever feels right for you.
To answer your question about the scan they tell you if all looks ok at the scan then you have a blood test to get a clearer result. I got my blood test results back within 5 days.

[Allgirlmum]

I told several people last month to only go on to miscarry I’m now pregnant again and not telling anyone until 25-30 weeks or possibly after the birth I kept my last a secret till birth

[Superscientist]

I told work straight away at 4-5 weeks for healthy and safety reasons which worked out well as I needed time off for pregnancy sickness and appointments in the first trimester.
We told my partners family at 16 weeks, my family at 17 weeks. I told some work colleagues between 13 and 16 weeks depending on whether it came up naturally and made an announcement when we were sent to work from home and only to say "bye BTW you probably won't see me until 2021" half joking who knew it would be true!
We told some close friends at the 20 week scan and everyone else just as it came up

[TruffleMama]

Mother and mother-in-law - told them the day I found out I was pregnant.

Close friends and the rest of my family - after the 12w scan (we had also had a Harmony test done at 10wks)

Announcement on social media - after my 20w scan

[unmarkedbythat]

Everyone guessed at work long before I formally announced with the first two, mostly because I was constantly vomiting. With the third, I didn't know myself for quite some time and I didn't get any real symptoms early on, plus I was in probation with a rather cunty employer and had no intention of letting them know until I has passed that!

[FluffyKittensinabasket]

As soon as I knew! I’ve been feeling very sick so it’s hard to hide from family, friends and work.

I’ve had an early scan and baby is viable. Still a long way to go but we had a loss I would be telling family and friends anyway and work would know because I would be off sick.

[Mummyinlove09]

We are pregnant with our first and we waited until the 12 week scan to tell anyone. It was a long 9 weeks (as we found out straight away!) but it meant we could enjoy the excitement just the two of us for a while which was so lovely and it was quite fun/funny trying to keep it a secret from everyone! But more importantly, we wanted to be sure everything was ok at the scan. And finally, it meant we could share the news on Mother’s Day due to how the timing worked out so it was a lovely Mother’s Day present for both of our Mum’s!

[JanQi]

I'm 5+1 and we've told a few people already - our parents and a few close friends. I completely understand people waiting but this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me and I want to share it with people. I have anxiety so being able to talk about my worries is really important and I want people to know if something goes wrong.

If I get bad sickness I will probably tell my boss before 12 weeks just so she knows what's going on and gives me more flexibility. We have a good relationship and I know she would be supportive.

We aren't planning on telling "the world" until after the scan but I'm undecided on whether we'll do an actual announcement or just tell people in person.

[cherrypiepie]

Congratulations op! It depends on what you feel like. I told a few early on which is helpful if you need som help which I I did. But I personally would hold out until at least 20 weeks to 'go public'. Total personal choice though. I think the '12 week rule' is a bit odd and would tell various people at different stages. I've had a few miscarriages with changes your judgement on these things and every situation is different.

[HM1984]

Usually people wait for 12 weeks as its the end of the first trimester. You won't necessarily start showing anytime soon (my bump started to grow after 4.5 months). I guess its really up to you as opposed to the normal timings as there isn't such a thing. Whatever makes you feel comfortable

[Turtleturtle81]

I waited until around 23 weeks to tell people after my 20 week scan confirmed everything was okay with the baby.

[Frazzled2207]

Ps 12 week scan does not tell you much at all other that there is a baby growing and is the right size (hopefully). At the 20 week scan they look at lots of things in detail and far more likely to know if baby looking healthy or not.

[niki26]

It's very personal - do what is right for you. I remember my husband saying 'we aren't allowed to tell anyone until the 12 week scan' and I corrected him.....of course we are 'allowed'. Many people just choose not to.

In my case, due to being 13 weeks when we went into lock down I haven't really announced anything and I'm 38 weeks now! Told immediate family between 8-24 weeks but I assume people we don't speak to often generally don't know!

[ragged]

I delayed telling one employer partly because of maternity leave implications. Otherwise, I don't remember announcing, but did tell anyone I felt like telling Straight away - no regrets. Would do same again (God forbid I get pg at my age, though).

How would you feel if you had to tell people you had a miscarriage -- which are not uncommon before 13-14 weeks. If you don't want to run that risk (I didn't want to feel so vulnerable with one of my bosses), better to wait or be selective about who knows. With final DC I only told people on need to know basis, didn't feel inspired to overshare. Until 7-8m, lots of people thought I was just getting fat!

[majesticallyawkward]

I waited until after the 12 week scans with both to tell anyone other than my mum. Outside of close family and friends anyone else started being told from 24 weeks.

I think 'announcing' is a bit cringe though, if I am close enough to see or talk to the person then either I'll tell them or they'd notice.

[Frazzled2207]

I’m really not keen on the “announcement” thing though I gather many are. I told parents after a private 8ish week scan and work and other people much later when I was showing.

[scrivette]

Apart from our parents I told everyone after the 12 week scan.

[mummy2myJJ]

It's such a personal decision. I told my family and close friends when I found out Incase anything were to go wrong they would be there to support me and can be sensitive around the subject x

[BabyG123]

I think it's down to personal preference

Some wait until the first scan

Some all test results

Some straight away

Maybe consider IF something was to be wrong or go wrong, who would you use as a support? Therefore they'd find out anyway.

[OverTheRainbow88]

I told family and friends straight away really as if something went wrong I would have told them anyway.