Feeing overwhelmed!

[lockdownpregnancy]

36 weeks and had my baby shower this afternoon and whilst it was super lovely, casual and laid back I've got home and the realisation that it's nearly time to be a mommy has hit me and the panic has set in!
I finish work Friday too, which I don't want to do as it's another sign change is on the horizon. I think it's all getting a bit too much for me mentally and I just want to run away and hide!
I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks anyway and whilst I've done pretty well so far this absolute wave of fear has hit me and I literally want to sit and cry!
I feel bad and really ungrateful as I know some ladies would kill to be in my position and some never will be, so I feel horrible about how I feel too, as I know I'm so lucky to be in this position
😭😭😭😭

It is a massive change, from work to being at home, potentially waiting for the baby to arrive whenever it pleases :)

But it will be OK. You will wake up on Tuesday, realise you have all the time, relax, read a book, just enjoy yourself a bit.

I dislike gatherings of people and had no baby shower or anything baby related at all, so I can see where you are coming from.

Also. Sit down and cry. It's brilliant. There needs to be no reason. Just sit and cry about anything. It will make you feel better, materialise your emotions.

You are not ungrateful, you are very rightly feeling that a change is coming and you are preparing for it, there is nothing ungrateful about it, it is the normal thing to do. Please also do not feel like you "must" feel lucky that you are pregnant/have a baby. You don't own anything to anyone, and you can feel anything you want without having to justify yourself.

Good luck with the baby!

@ZooKeeper19 thank you for your lovely words!
My DH has just give me cuddles all evening whilst I sobbed on the sofa and just reassured me everything will be ok.
I know it most likely will be but I didn't expect these sorts of emotions!
I'm truly blessed to be in this position and I'm so happy but at the same time it's like ALOT!!!
I'll just keep crying! I'll sort myself out eventually! 👍🏻

I’m earlier on than you and have also suddenly become extremely anxious. No real words of wisdom, though I find getting outside and trying to distract myself my best route to a good day at the moment. I guess the initial readjustment is quite likely to take a toll and hope you feel more zen in a day or so. Xxx