Why do some people think babies and pregnancy is the ONLY thing you want to talk about when you're pregnant

[wigglerose]

Just met up with some friends of DH. The friend's wife has just given birth and I'm pregnant. She's always been very forthright and bossy but she just talked at me constantly about being pregnant. Some of it was useful, but oh my god I was talked at and couldn't get a word in edgeways. I was bored to tears by the end. Even as she was leaving she ordering me to ask my midwife to have me checked for gestational diabetes because she'd had it and bla bla bla.
Why do some people just talk non-stop unsolicited advice when you're pregnant? It's so fucking TEDIOUS.

Fuck knows but I hated it.

Especially "you think you're tired now, wait til the baby comes hahahahahaha"

I was 100 times more tired pregnant than I have been with my baby. And if I had been more tired with the baby, I would have willed myself not to be just to prove those patronizing cunts wrong.

I hate it. I really hate it.

One woman literally told me I had "ruined my life". What the fuck am I supposed to say to that??????

Yes, I have no idea why some people are like this! It's like all they can see is PREGNANT LADY and they lose their normal conversation!

My "favourite" is the unsolicited horror stories about labour gone wrong. I really don't want to hear that right now!

What on earth @DancingCatGif! That's ridiculous, who thinks it's appropriate to say that!

Oh, I forgot one: intrusive neighbours asking whether it was planned. Cool, that's not awkward at all...

@TheGoldenApplesOfTheSun

I honestly met so many people who said that kind of thing. So many people said horrible shit to me, I think I attract them.

Agreed! It's like you just turn into a baby vessel.

Went out with my husband this weekend and I'm 34 weeks - a woman started chatting to me and was like "not to scare you but I had my baby at 31 weeks and she was in the NICU and had TERRIBLE reflux, it was the worst year of my life blah blah blah" I was just like 😐 cheers for the optimism.

I haven’t had at half as bad as some of you guys but it annoys me so much when people are telling anecdotes about babies not sleeping, naughty kids etc and they go ‘ooh you’ve got all this to come!’ Like yeah I am aware I’m having a child, I’m not stupid. Makes me feel like they think I’m really naive. Don’t know why it just irritates me so much!

@DancingCatGif I attract people who talk at me too. I think I'm too polite. Maybe I need to practice my resting bitch face? I've had the "oh you're tired now, you'll need allllll your rest when the baby comes hahaha" from my MIL. The lack of empathy pissed me off, plus I'm knackered now due to hormonal and physiological changes. I'll be tired when I have a kid due to... not sleeping much. It's a completely different ball game.

I've had "I didn't think you were having children". No, I just didn't discuss it with you!!!!

@TheGoldenApplesOfTheSun Haha, when people ask if it was planned - do they REALLY want that much info about your sex life? Because that's what they're inadvertently asking for.

@Bettie2192 It's just the lack of empathy and so, so patronising. Yes, children can be trying, you'd need to be a moron not to know that. Lord knows everyone's been a child and interacted with them! The best response is, "Doesn't mean it's not worth it/ worth the good bits."

At the risk of being one of "those" people, I did find it much more annoying when the baby was here and I spent the first four months or so fielding questions at baby classes about the delivery, breastfeeding and how they were sleeping 😂 I get that people were just being polite, but I was sooo grateful when someone asked me what my job was or what I was having for dinner!

@badg3r I don't think you're being one of "those" people. I think it's all part of the same thing, really.

Totally agree OP. People are knobs!
I'm 32 weeks and am kind of over the constant asking of "how's bump?". Bump is warm, safe and fed - me on the other hand, am having a shit time!

@wigglerose

It's a totally different type of tiredness. Of course I was tired with the baby but a couple of coffees and I felt ok. Pregnancy, I could have had 80 coffees and still wanted to sleep but it was a moot point since even water gave me heartburn.

"At the risk of being one of "those" people, I did find it much more annoying when the baby was here and I spent the first four months or so fielding questions at baby classes about the delivery, breastfeeding and how they were sleeping"

I cleverly had my baby during a pandemic and managed to avoid most of that shit, go me!

I wish they'd have pity also on the ears of those forced to listen to their incessant pregnancy-related monologues. At my work last year we had four pregnant ladies and it was non bloody stop at the lunch table. Very tactless as well as we had one woman whose unborn baby had a life-threatening condition and another 2 who had had repeatedly unsuccessful attempt sat IVF.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy agreed, when I see friends I make a point of not discussing baby stuff unless they ask about it. I totally get that nobody is as interested in my new baby snot-sucker or isofix car seat base as I am (and even that wanes sometimes!)

I still recall MIL constantly saying "your life has changed forever now, you don't know what's coming" but in a really negative way

Erm im pretty sure I shagged my husband with every intention of producing a baby, and therefore I do have a slight idea of what's coming

I have a high risk pregnancy. I'm being monitored well and often and truely think that everything will be fine (with induction, maybe section but that's ok with me). I update family (well parents and one sibling) after each hospital visit and they still call me a few days afterwards to ask how everything is going now. I have remarked several times that since there is no window in my belly I really can't know till the next visit.... doesn't stop the asking though. "She's still kicking" is the only answer I can give really.

My SIL is like this. Lecture after fucking lecture. And now I've had my baby (6 weeks early!) 2 days ago she's lecturing me about what happens in special care when she has ZERO experience of it herself. And sending unsolicited Amazon parcels with must have baby items in. Sorry, bit of a rant there. Some women seem to think every pregnancy or birth will just mirror their own, it's ridiculous.

@rorosemary that's nice of them. Shows that they care and are thinking of you. How would you like them to phrase it?

My brother and his girlfriend are amazing, really. After yesterday I really appreciate their stance. They're excited and want to share information, but they've been really respectful and outright told me to tell them to wind their necks in if I feel like they're lecturing me or giving me advice I haven't asked for. They generally wait for me to raise the topic and pick up when I want to change the topic or discuss something else or not discuss something I'm not comfortable with. If anyone's reading and wondering how to handle it - like that.

[quote nc600]@rorosemary that's nice of them. Shows that they care and are thinking of you. How would you like them to phrase it? [/quote]
I'd like them to accept my answer. That would be enough. But they keep on asking questions tgat I simply cannot answer.

@rorosemary

I have a high risk pregnancy. I'm being monitored well and often and truely think that everything will be fine (with induction, maybe section but that's ok with me). I update family (well parents and one sibling) after each hospital visit and they still call me a few days afterwards to ask how everything is going now. I have remarked several times that since there is no window in my belly I really can't know till the next visit.... doesn't stop the asking though. "She's still kicking" is the only answer I can give really.

What a grump you sound!

I also had a very high risk pregnancy and was in hospital for 5 months straight.

I loved that people asked after me, it shows they care.

While we’re talking about inappropriate comments I’ve just thought of another one! Was at my husbands parents house and his aunty came over, so we told her i was 12 weeks pregnant. His dad said ‘we only just found out a few days ago’ and the aunt said ‘why didn’t you tell anyone sooner!?’. Ermm maybe because we wanted to make sure it was actually still alive before we told people? I mean what the hell kind of question is that?

I was on a Skype call for work yesterday and a colleague said straight away "right first thing, stand up now and show us your bump"

Eh .... NO

Ahhh OP tell me about it! It's just so tedious - l just feel like shouting I AM AN ACTUAL PERSON WITH OTHER INTERESTS AND HOBBIES TOO YOU KNOW!! I just put it down to people having not much else to say. I have a group of friends who are educated and intelligent and know the score but it just seems like everyone else wants to talk boring baby stuff. It's because I now 'fit in' to their idea of 'normality' - I'm 37, never married and not too fussed about it, travelled lots during life when everyone else was setting down, concentrated on my career etc. Now I've decided it's time to have babies with my partner it's like people are overjoyed that I finally am 'conforming' and can't wait to impart their knowledge on me. Yes I will love my baby, yes I do need tips as a new mum, yes I may have questions - but guess what Karen?..I'd still rather be sitting having a large Pinot on a roof terrace somewhere in a Europe than talking about episiotomies. Back off!

It doesn't get any better when you have the baby, people assume that is all you want to talk about.