Partner unsupportive and blaming me for my morning sickness

[Athena1985]

I’m really upset and annoyed and just wondering if anyone actually goes through this

I’m week 7 and been having morning sickness with nausea all day for the past week , it’s not that severe and I’m keeping food and fluid down

I’m feeling under a lot of pressure from my partner as he is telling me I don’t help myself and he’s sick of hearing about how I’ll I am , okay he suggested ginger biscuits and bought some apparently your supposed to have something fry before you get up but I wake up feeling sick to my stomach and the last thing I want to do is eat !

Not to mention the smells everything makes me ill, then I eat and drink enough through the day and because I don’t want my tea because I can’t stand the smell of anything he cooks I get told I’m “doing it for attention so everyone will run around after me “

I’m also absolutley exshausetd till I’m in bed at 8pm did I mention I work 40 hours a week , I walk through the door to be told off for not wanting to eat with him and not a cup of tea made for me and to be told that I need to get a grip when I’ve spent my day feeling like I’m going to throw up all day whilst at work and trying to provide for a child that’s arriving in 7 months

He’s telling me I should be taking anti sickness meds and I’m like I have a choice I don’t want to harm my baby and because I don’t do what he thinks I should he doesn’t want to hear me complain at all about how tiered I am , or how sick I am or that I’m falling asleep on him when it’s our night to spend time together which I only get the privelidged of spending 2 nights out of 7 with him because it’s perfectly
Okay to spend the other 5 on the PlayStation till 12 o clock at night isn’t it . I just find him really unloving and uncaring and when your pregnant and I decided he would be the perfect man for me I’m very much regretting this now because he doesn’t get how much psychological and emotional stress he’s putting on me for blaming me for something that isn’t my fault - I really am starting to resent him big time like it’s not bad enough being in pain, being sick and being exshausted and upset all the time

[Footlooseandfancy]

Bin him off. This isn't going to get any better.

[AntiHop]

@fmlfmlfmlfm

Hi OP, I'm just about to hit week 7 so I'm getting the nausea too.

Men generally don't understand, I had an ex who used to have a go at me for not feeling hungry (as apposed to being just worried that I wasn't eating) and insisted I was doing it to lose weight so I didn't get fat 🤣

Personally I would take this as the difference between women and men.

Men like to fix things and don't generally listen to emotions like women (I'm generalising no offence to anyone)

As in. I've bought you a ginger biscuit and I'm trying to fix the problem. But you're not accepting my help so I can't do anything.

When realistically him helping is probably just being sympathetic and giving you a cuddle. Good luck! X

@fmlfmlfmlfm

You can't say "men generally don't understand". That is minimising his selfish and abusive behaviour.

I'm also 7 weeks pregnant. I had terrible sickness with my daughter and it's started with this pregnancy too. My partner totally understands. I remember him running to the train station with a sick bucket to meet me. Making me endless cups of herbal tea. Not complaining when I was incapable. Moving things away from me the smells are triggering nausea.

OP, you deserve so much better. I'd be reconsidering my relationship.

[footprintsintheslow]

Have you got family you can go and stay with sooner rather than later?

What's your housing situation? Rent, own, joint names?

[Weenurse]

My DH was like this until I threatened to throw up on him!
I used to be the person who sat down after work for a rest,and then woke up 2 hours later.
Tell him to think about the worst hangover he ever had, then tell him to imagine it never ends.
Mine never showed any sympathy and did not get the idea of actual parenting until I left him alone with the baby when I went back to work. Baby was 6 weeks old then. Long term he has turned out to be a decent parent, but a selfish one. Our DC are 22 and 24 now.
Good luck 💐

[Smallsteps88]

I’m so sorry OP but this is not a safe man to be reliant on. I wouldn’t have his child.

[Tadpolesandfroglets]

@fmlfmlfmlfm really? I think this is the difference between a nice, understanding person and an unsupportive , selfish, uncaring partner. Nothing to do with differences between sexes. If he’s like this now, how is he going to be through labour? After the child is born? Most men don’t behave like this, or most men I know.

[Dinocan]

Sorry op. He sounds like a really horrible man. For so many women Pregnancy is incredibly tough on body and mind. There is no way most men would cope with half of it, let alone the birth too. A decent partner is supportive and understanding, and to be honest in complete awe that their partners have managed to carry on with life/work whilst dealing with the utter shit storm that pregnancy can be (especially bad sickness and nausea, it’s awful). I didn’t want to take meds either and tbh I’ve never heard of women taking them for anything other than extreme sickness outside of MN. I’m really not sure many gps would be happy prescribing them for average morning sickness, it’s certainly not the ‘norm’ to take medication. I would seriously consider leaving this man as he’s going to get worse and it does sound like emotional abuse.

[Soubriquet]

He sounds awful tbh

I had hypermesis with pregnant with my first. I was in and out of hospital with severe dehydration.

I had to take anti-nausea meds. They helped but didn’t stop it completely

Flat lemonade and sucking on polo mints helped me.

Ginger biscuits did fuck all and I couldn’t eat when I first woke up either.

[hammie46i]

This is emotional abuse. I would be reconsidering his role as your partner. You're not in the army and this is not some military operation you're carrying out. It's your body which doesn't react in predictable ways.

[EnjoyingTheSilence]

Get rid of him now. He will only get worse. Stand up for yourself and your baby. He is totally wrong, tell the midwife what you are going through, it is abuse

[EnjoyingTheSilence]

And ginger biscuits are the worst, the thought of eating one now makes me feel sick as I just associate them with sickness.

[ComputersaysRAVE]

Why are you bringing a baby into such a shit relationship that was obviously shit beforehand ??

[MrsSSG]

I'd be tempted to force down a whole packet of ginger biscuits just so I could throw up all over him and cover him in ginger vomit!

[DelurkingAJ]

This is NOT how a kind person treats anyone. Minimising how you feel and insisting it’s you being over dramatic.

Is he a good Dad to his other children?

I would be packing up to leave now.

[MrsBobDylan]

Crikey op, he sounds abusive - what was he like to his previous partner when they had a baby?

I think your instinct on this is 100% right. He is bullying you and seeing how much you will take. He may well ramp up the abuse as the pregnancy goes on.

In your position I would leave.

[fmlfmlfmlfm]

When I said men generally don't understand... they don't. Just like we don't understand when they get kicked in the balls.

I'm not minimising any behaviour. I was explaining I had been in a similar situation and he was a twat.

Just because he's read that ginger biscuits help and you should eat some and help your self just shows he doesn't actually understand.

[BurtsBeesKnees]

God he sound vile, self centred, selfish with no empathy.
Christ knows what he's going to be like when you're financially dependent on him (mat leave, part time, sahp or just need him to pull his weight around childcare), or when you're both tired, baby stage, housework etc.
I'd seriously think about what's best for you and the baby. If you're on your own now at least you could come home from work and go straight to bed, veg out on the sofa and eat what you can stomach

[cansu]

He sounds like an arse. Early pregnancy is dreadful for many women. The fatigue alone is terrible nevermind if you are unlucky enough to suffer with the sickness as well. You need to stand up for yourself: tell hi m that you are unwell and will not be doing any cooking as it makes you feel worse. You will be resting when you get home from work and if he doesn't like it, he can leave.

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

Fucking hell what is he going to be like during childbirth - telling you off for being in pain? And when the baby is born? Please park this up for next time he gets man flu. Sounds like a right tossed. Sorry OP, all l have read today on here are posters saying how horrible their partners are and it makes me so cross.

[loudev]

That's a red flag right there. My ex husband was like that and guess what, he carried on being like it after the baby was born, and when I stupidly had another with him! I've always had bad sickness and it's bloody awful.
I'm pregnant again now with a different partner and he couldn't be more supportive, don't put up with this shit op.

[LovingLola]

What sort of relationship does he have with his older children?
And he’s plain nasty to you. Don’t feel you have to stay with him.

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

Oh and l ate ginger biscuits til they came out my ears but was still sick until week 25 xx

[Ginger1982]

@fmlfmlfmlfm

Hi OP, I'm just about to hit week 7 so I'm getting the nausea too.

Men generally don't understand, I had an ex who used to have a go at me for not feeling hungry (as apposed to being just worried that I wasn't eating) and insisted I was doing it to lose weight so I didn't get fat 🤣

Personally I would take this as the difference between women and men.

Men like to fix things and don't generally listen to emotions like women (I'm generalising no offence to anyone)

As in. I've bought you a ginger biscuit and I'm trying to fix the problem. But you're not accepting my help so I can't do anything.

When realistically him helping is probably just being sympathetic and giving you a cuddle. Good luck! X

You think him saying you were doing it to try and not get fat is just the difference between men and women?

🙄

[Theyweretheworstoftimes]

I had severe HG until baby was born from 6 weeks.

My husband was kind and respectful. He drove me to the hospital in the middle of the night.

He advocated for me and took care of me. He held my hair back and rubbed my back.
He cleaned my teeth when I couldn't.
These are the actions of someone who cares.

Think carefully about remaining in this relationship.

[Anydreamwilldo12]

He's abusive and it won't get any better. Better to get out now, getting rid of him will be one less stress in your life.