How long can I realistically hide this pregnancy?

[chickensoup23]

Hi! advice plz!
I'm 7 weeks pregnant, 2nd baby, at risk of redundancy and due to find out my fate early November. I'd much rather keep my job but there are some advantages to going (long service pay out etc) the scoring and selection process is quite in depth and I've done all of the pre- work for it already.
I'm really good at what I do and want the decision to be made either way based on my ability - I just don't want the conversation to come up of 'oh she's pregnant let's let her go / she's pregnant let's protect her etc' does that make sense?
I want to get my role on merit and my previous hard work record.
So my 12 week scan is 18th September. Can I realistically hide until week 18 and has anyone else done that / how did work react? Also is my plan a silly one?

Thanks in advance!!

I moved from one department to another at about 16 weeks and never told anyone in the department I left... Nobody seemed to notice and they were all surprised when they later found out. That was baby number 2.

[quote chickensoup23]@pastabest 28 weeks!! Wow! That's impressive[/quote]
I'm a very similar build to you and there was a small gap between DC1 and 2.

I think people just assumed I was struggling to lose the baby weight from DC1 and also weren't expecting me to be pregnant again that soon.

@elfycat
I'm not stupid. Of course women get screwed over but not all employers are like that and if the employer is reasonable and law abiding it will negatively affect the relationship if the op comes across as sneaky.
I work for a not for profit employer. We would never treat an employee less favourably if pregnant but if they sneakily misled or lied about being pregnant than we would have doubts about their character and integrity.
Btw op, how will you access paid time off for your appointments?

I get to wear scrubs at work which helped. Wore tops which hung from the boobs and trousers on the hips (was the noughties) I lost weight in the first trimester too.

You seem to be worried about work finding out soon and also worried about telling them later. So I think you’re right that you are over thinking it!

What do you want to do job size, stay or go?

I'm currently 17 weeks with twins, second pregnancy and I can still hide it with the right clothing and that's 2 babies! I guess it depends a lot on how you carry though! I could hide my first pregnancy until about 25 weeks.

I’m 13 weeks and I’m not telling work for a little while longer. I’m already visibly pregnant too, but luckily working from home. A colleague of mine, who had a shock twin pregnancy in her mid forties after being told she couldn’t have kids, managed to hide it until 26 weeks!

If you do tell your work, they will have to think a lot more carefully about making you redundant and if they do, you would have a prima facie case for discrimination. Of course, they may well be able to defend that, but you would certainly be able to make a claim.

@elfycat I am based from home at the
Moment and have a super flexible diary. Often spend hours catching up in the evenings etc and the business culture is very much if you have the work done it's up to you how / when etc. I am really lucky that I plan my own diary.

I have an early scan next week but that's at 8pm. Luckily My scan on 18th is at 9.00am so will just start a bit later. It's really no big deal and not that what worries me. It's more the thought of it coming up as a topic of conversation in the selection process and I'd rather it was left out.

The culture of my company is excellent - and I am highly valued. It's more that you can't dictate the mindset of certain individuals that will be heavily involved in the selection process and I'd rather not take that risk

I was 22 weeks when I told work on my second and no one had noticed. I didn't really show on my first to around 35 weeks. On the downside I gained about 2 stone after each baby!

@ireallyamthewalrus 100% stay would be my preference. I love my job so much

@greytminds do you mind me asking why your holding off telling them?

I feel so differently about it this time. I told my boss at 10 weeks last time

@chickensoup23 I am worried about the impact it will have on my prospects. I’m in a senior leadership role and it will be really hard to find cover. It’s going to be a bit of shock, much as it was for me to find myself pregnant at 40.

I was with the same company in a different role and department when I had my first child
2.5 years ago and was treated pretty badly. Things only got good again when I was promoted to another department earlier this year. The business has a huge push ahead to be financially successful so there’s always risk of job loss and redundancy. I don’t think getting another job would be too difficult but I really like what I’m doing at the moment.

My plan is to take less time off and share parental leave with my husband who has a secure but lower paid job.

I also have a history of recurrent miscarriage, so I’m not telling anyone until after 16 weeks.

I hid mine for about 5 months...lots of cardigans and big coats!!! Turns out everyone just thought I was overweight!

With my last I showed at 5 weeks! I was trying to keep it quiet as I had literally just returned from my other mat leave and the pregnancy was not expected at all. I had no chance of hiding it due to hyperemis but I also looked well pregnant early doors. Guess it depends on clothing and your body shape. In the soaps they all wear big coats and carry massive bags 😂 I once interviewed a lady who I could almost see the head. She had a massive coat on in June and kept a bag on her lap the whole time. It was the metaphorical elephant in the room. She wasn't even close to appointable but I wish we could have just had an honest conversation about it. I'd style it out if I was you and see how long you can hang on blaming donuts but as others have said be mindful of dates you have to legally inform your employer so you don't miss out on mat pay and other protections

I hid my third pregnancy from the bank when I had an appointment at 20 weeks. I'm 5'6" but gained so much weight overall in first three months he probably just thought I was a bit porky.
Personally thought it was really obvious, but wore a baggy dress. People pay much less attention than you think!

2nd time round I told colleagues at around 13 weeks. My colleague said “ah, I thought you were getting fat round the middle”. Sorry OP, but other than more wfh, I’m not sure you will be able to hide it til then..

@chickensoup23 28 weeks too. I was in exact same position. I lost the job and had to interview for a new one 7m pregnant. I did get a new job eventually. Good luck!

I'm 5 foot 2 and about a size 10/12. I managed to keep my second pregnancy quiet at work til around 20 weeks and I definitely showed more this time than my first pregnancy. Like people have said its about clever clothes!

Found out I was pregnant with baby#2 just after starting a new job with a 3month probation. I waited until 22weeks (after 20wk scan and then boss back from work trip), to tell my boss. This meant I was sure the pregnancy was viable and knew (as much as possible) that my baby would be healthy.
The extra time allowed me to think through my plans around family/work/childcare without the extra pressure so we could have a proper conversation about how much time off and what type of cover would be required when I did tell him.
My intention was to take limited time off, wfh, and then to return, whilst being available on leave for anything urgent etc.
I managed to hide it with careful clothing choices, large bags and drapey cardigans although the last two weeks I was certain everyone was staring (they weren't and were quite surprised).
My boss took it really well, was happy I'd thought through cover options etc and was incredibly supportive.
Good luck!

Yes hospital was going through re-structuring, was on a temporary 6 month contract so felt quite vunerable. Told them in one fell swoop, pregnancy, due date, date of maternity leave and planned return (2nd pregnacy). Then just had 8 weeks until I went off.

I'm watching this thread with interest. I'm 6 weeks with second pregnancy and due to start a new job in sept. I'm going to go shopping for floaty tops and elasticated waist trousers!

2nd pregnancy stayed hidden until about 25 weeks. Was carrying fairly low and towards the back. Someone who saw me then had no idea - they got a shock when I turned up to a meeting at around 35 weeks very pregnant!

I waited till 16 weeks, to get passed the annual pay review. I had twins though, and had started to show before my first scan. Not sure how much longer I could have gone. A few women in the office guessed but only one asked me outright. All the blokes in my team were oblivious.

Start laying the foundations of ‘lockdown spare tyre’ now.

High waisted skirt in your usual size left a little unzipped at the back and a longer, floaty layered top untucked. I was 25 weeks before I looked visibly pregnant in work wear.