First scan appointment = absolute joke

[Bumblebee111]

I’m 13 weeks, had booking appointment over the phone was done at about 8/9 weeks, had first scan yesterday. I know corona has thrown everything off but I feel like I have 0 support? It was like a factory, rushed to scan rushed to nurse for weight bloods etc then rushed to midwife who didn’t even tell me her name just went through the maternity book and what each page means & so on... no direct numbers to midwife no help no comments on if you need advice call this number or whatever just go to a&e before 16 weeks with any problems then epu from 16 weeks. She didn’t even read my notes I asked her to remind me dosage of aspirin to take (first pregnancy and mum had preeclampsia) and she looked baffled then told me 75mg no 150mg no 75 no no 150, is that a joke? How can you not know? I was referred to thrombophilia also as mum had a blood clot when pregnant but I’ll be almost 8 months at that appointment I was given so I asked her shouldn’t that appointment be earlier, she actually said it’s not hereditary don’t worry, again is this a joke?? there are blood conditions that are hereditary that make you more likely to clot hence the referral for the test. Honestly this is my first pregnancy and I feel like I have 0 support from them, I actually thought when feeling overwhelmed or stressed I could speak to my midwife but clearly not I’m guessing, has anyone else had this kind of experience? Is it normal, are my expectations wrong/too high?

Do you have a midwife at your doctor's surgery? I found the community midwife, who you'll have you appts with to listen to heart rate, measure fundal heights etc were more approachable than the hospital midwives in my first pregnancy.
Have you had your checking in appt with the midwife?

In reality scans are a bit conveyor belt of everything's ok, glad everything was ok so far.

@SleepingStandingUp thanks for replying. At the moment no, my 16 week appointment will also be over the phone but that’s sort of what I mean they have told me nothing so I have no idea what to expect moving forward, especially being first pregnancy I don’t know how it all works. And sorry stupid question, checking in appointment? Is that different from the first booking appointment?

Yeah I meant booking in appt, the one where they all lots of questions like are you and do related and take medical histories

Ah yes, I had that over the phone around 9 weeks. That’s where I was told I’m basically high risk as mum and mums mum had preeclampsia & my mum also had a blood clot when pregnant, that was when she said I’d get a letter for thrombophilia appointment & to take aspirin from 12 weeks. I’d already had anxiety about those things as it is and I don’t exactly feel at ease wondering will I be monitored correctly or not, I’m only 13 weeks and today have had nose bleeds and bad headaches but bp was fine at the appointment the day before so called doctor and he said buy a bp machine and just monitor myself

Bookings appointments can be a bit of an anti climax. As far the midwife is concerned - it's all routine stuff, she's not going to be hanging out the bunting and popping the champagne corks.
She's right - it's not routine to take aspirin during a normal uncomplicated pregnancy - for right or wrong, possible rare blood disorders are not investigated before any symptoms happen. Scan appointments have been built up over the years to be this wonderful bonding opportunity - sorry to burst your bubble - it's a diagnostic scan to confirm your dates and many some preliminary checks on the baby.

I found midwives only get interested in your pregnancy 6 months + in. Mine was brilliant at sorting out appointments for my carpel tunnel and the heart burn. She wasn't interested at all at a 6 weeks bleed - there was nothing she or anyone could have done. there is plenty of information online on the NHS website although there may be some local variation.

Basically at the beginning as long as you're taking your folic acid, have stopped smoking and drinking and are following the current dietary recommendations, there's not a lot that can be done by the midwives. It's when you have actual problems that they prove their worth.

I have a clotting disorder, and I was told when I got my first clot if I ever got pregnant I'd need blood thinners.

I just told my GP, and they said they'd need to call the endocrinologist. They did and within a week I was on dalteparin or enoxoparin.

Perhaps you should go the same route.

Perhaps someone here with medical background can clarify, but I was told when I was pregnant that it wasn't worth doing any tests for thrombophilias because pregnancy tampers with your blood any way so the best thing they can do is offer a prophylactic dose if you're seen as high risk.

Obviously that's why your GP should speak to endocrinology.

Shouldn't even need a face to face, but if they do, it would just be for basic obs.

@DPotter She didn’t say it’s not routine, she simply hadn’t checked the notes from my booking appointment where the other midwife clearly stated to take 150mg of Aspirin, taking the aspirin is recommended to prevent preeclampsia if you have a first degree relative who has suffered from it - my mum. Considered high risk if 1. First pregnancy and 2. First degree relative, so given the fact she had this information in front of her at the time and failed to relay it clearly to me before I was handed the folder, I was definitely shocked, as it’s important information. As for the blood clot I do have the Risk assessment for Venous Thrombosis in my maternity notes stating patients must be referred to Hctu for the test as again It is a first degree relative, when asking is it okay that I will be 8 months by the time I have the test she gave me completely incorrect info by saying it is not hereditary when it can be. Just clarifying here my issue wasn’t with the scan, it was with the lack of information which - sorry is non negotiable, being informative is not a lot to ask for is it? And they are not just there for ‘actual problems’ there are plenty of other things they help with, like giving a first time pregnant woman some helpful information to ease her mind and any worries she may have.

@Couchbettato Yeah the first midwife I spoke to regarding the blood clot (booking spot) said they may need me to take blood thinners but she wanted me to have the test first. I was just concerned as my mum had her blood clot at around 6/7 months and was in hospital for about 4 months altogether.

I will speak with my gp about it or call the number on the letter with the appointment and just see what they say about the stage of pregnancy I’ll be at and so on.

@Bumblebee111

Ah yes, I had that over the phone around 9 weeks. That’s where I was told I’m basically high risk as mum and mums mum had preeclampsia & my mum also had a blood clot when pregnant, that was when she said I’d get a letter for thrombophilia appointment & to take aspirin from 12 weeks. I’d already had anxiety about those things as it is and I don’t exactly feel at ease wondering will I be monitored correctly or not, I’m only 13 weeks and today have had nose bleeds and bad headaches but bp was fine at the appointment the day before so called doctor and he said buy a bp machine and just monitor myself

I'd try and speak to the midwife who did your booking in appt then. Explain your concerned you could have delivered the baby before this appt is due and your also unsure about the needs. It does sound like the hospital midwife was rushing through and didn't do a very thorough job

Yeah I definitely do feel it was rushed, hopefully at some point it’s all made a little clearer for me

OP, you at least saw your midwife. I am 19+ weeks and have never even met mine. No one ever explained a thing abt the maternity book to me. Just had a rushed up scan by a sonographer at Week 12 and a nurse took my bloods and I was sent on my way.

I have brought up this topic a lot. I feel like I have absolutely zero support. I am a FTM, my mother is dead so I cannot even call her for support, bestfriend had a miscarriage so can't even talk to her. I feel like the only support I get is from Google which is ridiculous!

Apparently my first meeting with the midwife is in Week 28!!! I am not even joking! Week 28!!!

This is exactly what I mean! No info, no help no clarity it’s awful. You can’t seriously only have a meaningful conversation with a midwife in the event that something was to go wrong that cannot be acceptable I mean come on. I have no idea when I’ll be face to face with my midwife or how many weeks I’ll be at that point. But if it’s 28 weeks like yours I don’t know what I’d do I think that is appalling as urinalysis and bp checks are suppose to be done throughout I’m sure?

Do you have any number or something you can call to tell them that you need support or if it would be possible to speak to a midwife sooner as you have concerns and questions? I have no idea myself and I suppose that’s the problem here

This is how it's always been in my area. The community midwife isn't even based at the doctor's anymore, either. The couple of appointments I did have were held in Surestart centres. Was told to make a GP appointment for any problems.

@Bumblebee111 you should have your bp and urine checked again at your 20 week scan.

Also, no one told me that if a first degree relative had preeclampsia then we should be taking aspirin?... my mum had preeclampsia

@Whatinthename20 In my trust you need to meet 3 of the criteria’s to qualify for action (eg aspirin)
So just having a parent who had PE isn’t reason enough x

I've had a very similar experience, scan was rushed, mid wife didn't introduce herself , I felt so I'll that I couldn't remember what questions to ask, they then messed up some of my blood tests but I only found out when they sent me an envelope through the post with two small plastic bags you put blood samples in without any explanation... Anyway I could go on but I feel very much the same not taken care of properly and also concerned that any serious health issues could fall through the cracks. I'm currently considering an independent midwife and paying for some private tests, it's expensive but it's worth it for me for peace of mind. Would this be something you could consider?

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and honestly the support and appointments have been such a joke this pregnancy, I had 4 bleeds, a ton of utis that weren't picked up on because all the appointments are by phone so they don't check anything. It's been rubbish. I agree with the pp if you can afford private.. do it.

Unfortunately I don't think your experience was particularly unusual. It's something I experienced in my pregnancies and agree with a pp who said that they only seem to become interested at 6 months +. I always thought my midwife was quite cold and offhand. I'd had miscarriages after my first and was really anxious when pregnant with my second but got no reassurances or support and she always seemed surprised when I said I was anxious every time they tried to find a heartbeat at appointments from16 weeks. She changed slightly and became more friendly later on in my pregnancy though and suddenly became helpful and supportive (about other issues).

I think it's especially hard when you're a ftm and have certain expectations. Everyone outside of a medical setting treats you like you're special and it's a bit of a shock when you attend appointments and it's a conveyor belt situation.

I feel sorry for everyone that is currently pregnant as I'm sure corona has only made all of this worse. Good luck op.

Hi op, like you I'm high risk due to my mums medical history of high blood pressure and blood clots, my mums developed during pregnancy and it wasn't picked up until she was in labour with my sister when it travelled to her lung. My first appointment will be at 28 weeks and from there on I'll be on daily blood thinners, I'll also be having weekly trips to the hospital as I'm also high risk of small babies as my last 3 barely registered on any centile.

Like you I feel like i have no support either, don't get me wrong the MW I have spoken to over the phone have been lovely but they have given me barely any information, my next MW app "may be" on such and such date "oh no wait your consultant led say you may not have to see another MW they can do what we would do anyways" 🙄 . I'm not sure about your area but my MW did tell me that our maternity services are all opening back up properly in mid September, hopefully things will get a little better when they do x

Sounds quite normal to me, albeit she hadn't read your notes. But isnt it for your consultant (if you have one, which it sounds like you do?) to prescribe aspirin etc? I was prescribed aspirin and it had nothing to do with the midwives. And I just filled them in on what they needed to know.

I dont really know what 'support' you expected, you've had your booking in, scan & bloods taken. Theres really not much else to be done at 13 weeks.

I think you need to manage your expectations a bit.

I don’t think this sounds normal at all, and I’m really sad to hear all these stories.

This just seems like another way women and mothers have been fucked over by Covid.

@Bumblebee111 Sounds like my 12 week scan appointment too!! I wonder if we’re in the same area 🤷🏻‍♀️ Saw a nurse after to take my bloods etc and while I was getting my bloods done a hospital midwife walked in, handed me a folder with my notes in, told me I should “ask the community midwife whenever you meet her” when I asked her a question then left the room. After my bloods and BP were done I was told I could leave 🙄 had to go and walk round the department, hunt down the midwife and remind her I was to be on aspirin from 12 weeks and I was meant to be consultant led. She told me my case was “nowhere near juicy enough for a consultant to be interested so you’ll probably never meet one” and scribbled me out a prescription and sent me on my way 🙄 I know when it’s early days they don’t really have much input but taking 2 minutes to answer a question would be nice!
Then had 16 week appt over the phone (3 minute call - “do you feel ok?” 🙄) where she gave me an appointment for 22 weeks to get my MATB1 and my BP etc rechecked.
Had my 20 week scan where nurse came and done my Whooping Cough jag after.
22 week one was at another hospital with a midwife who checked my BP, listened to baby’s heartbeat, gave me my MATB1 then lectured me on contraception 😳 felt like a 15 year old! Tried to make me sign a consent form stating what contraception I wanted to be discharged from hospital with after delivery!
Next appt is due at start of next week at 28 weeks and should hopefully be with the community midwife although they pencilled that one in and told me it would be confirmed nearer the time and I’ve heard nothing since 🤷🏻‍♀️

That’s rubbish OP and your expectations are definitely not too high. Your experience is totally different from mine, my midwife is so knowledgeable and helpful, I really feel supported by her. She prescribed my aspirin and has handled all my blood tests etc. Mine is a community midwife which maybe makes a difference, it’s possibly a bit less anonymous than a hospital.

I’m so sorry, I don’t have any advice but I think you deserve better than this. I wonder if you can ask to switch to a different midwife?

Really sorry to hear of your experience (and you too, @MahamChoudhury)

I’d recommend asking if there are any groups in the area for pregnant women. Mine is run by a very experienced community midwife and it was a lifeline in the first 24 weeks of my pregnancy.

On the advice of another Mumsnetter, I also found it helpful to contact my local ‘Maternity Voices‘ group to give feedback on my care, which was poor.

Your midwives should definitely be introducing themselves as a minimum - this isn’t too much for you to ask! If it makes you feel better, my care also improved a lot from 24 weeks and I now have a lovely named midwife, which I think in part was due to my feedback to maternity voices.

However, I found that the lack of humanity in my early care (plus repeated lost samples and basic failings) made me really anxious about labour so I had to be extremely proactive in getting help. Being pregnant during Covid is stressy anyway (different procedures, cancelled appointments, no partners during active labour here, no ward visits, staff in masks, lots slipping through the net etc) and your mental health is incredibly important. You deserve to feel supported and looked after, so don’t be afraid to advocate for the care you need.

Don’t be put off by anyone who says your expectations are too high either - they are absolutely not. Quality antenatal care is incredibly important, as is maternal mental health, and you should absolutely not feel you are on a ’conveyor belt’. It’s great you’re posting here for support too and I hope you get the care you deserve.

I know antenatal care could be better, but we are living in extraordinary times at the moment and sometimes you have to take a bit of responsibility for your own health & chase things up, etc.