First scan appointment = absolute joke

[Bumblebee111]

I’m 13 weeks, had booking appointment over the phone was done at about 8/9 weeks, had first scan yesterday. I know corona has thrown everything off but I feel like I have 0 support? It was like a factory, rushed to scan rushed to nurse for weight bloods etc then rushed to midwife who didn’t even tell me her name just went through the maternity book and what each page means & so on... no direct numbers to midwife no help no comments on if you need advice call this number or whatever just go to a&e before 16 weeks with any problems then epu from 16 weeks. She didn’t even read my notes I asked her to remind me dosage of aspirin to take (first pregnancy and mum had preeclampsia) and she looked baffled then told me 75mg no 150mg no 75 no no 150, is that a joke? How can you not know? I was referred to thrombophilia also as mum had a blood clot when pregnant but I’ll be almost 8 months at that appointment I was given so I asked her shouldn’t that appointment be earlier, she actually said it’s not hereditary don’t worry, again is this a joke?? there are blood conditions that are hereditary that make you more likely to clot hence the referral for the test. Honestly this is my first pregnancy and I feel like I have 0 support from them, I actually thought when feeling overwhelmed or stressed I could speak to my midwife but clearly not I’m guessing, has anyone else had this kind of experience? Is it normal, are my expectations wrong/too high?

@Whatinthename20 I can only go off what my midwife has told me and the form in my maternity book and it most definitely does say to start a patient on aspirin if that is the case, it’s preventative that’s all.

I’m not really sure all the different opinions but I’m going by what I have been told and and the forms I see so.

@user1471518119 I will have to look in to it as I’ve never really considered it before but I think the way things are going I will see the cost etc.

@Maidmummy I hope all goes well for you, again that is my point too much uncertainty when there is risk of serious medical complications isn’t ok, just come structure isn’t much to ask for, I hope things do go back normal x

@Wolfgirrl I don’t need to manage my expectations because If you read everything correctly you’d know I was prescribed the aspirin at the booking appt by the midwife plus my issue is with no communication and so on, support?? Support could literally just be putting ftm mind at ease about worries and being organised!! Not too much to ask.

@RWK29 sorry your experiences have been to awful, I know I’m lucky I’m at 13 weeks but as I keep saying just ask how someone is doing and be open to discussing any problems fears etc with the patient. Also I’m in north west London not sure? The issue is you’re having it all done in one day basically because booking appt is over the phone. I hope things do get better and easier for you too!

@TheAquaticDuchess thank you! xx you know that’s all I really wanted haha, I think some people here think I wanted her to hold my hand and celebrate for me not at all! Just for first pregnancy it would’ve been nice to discuss any questions and so on. I think I’ll call my gp explain everything and maybe they can direct me properly I’m not sure.

@RobynNora thank you! That’s really helpful and I’m going to look in to all of the suggestions and so on. I don’t think it’s much to ask for to want a healthy mind during pregnancy, and with the right support it should be possible.

@Bumblebee111 I’m in Scotland so definitely nowhere near the same area. It’s a shame to hear this is happening everywhere. I can only imagine how stressful the midwives etc are finding things with everything that’s going on at the moment and I understand that this is a whole new world we’re all trying to navigate but giving 2 minutes to answer genuine concerns should not be too much to ask, I don’t think anyway!
Completely understand the need for phone appointments etc, that makes good sense given the circumstances but it would be nice to feel listened to and not just dismissed!

I'd say not normal. I was allocated a midwife that I texted anytime I had a question, and definitely had 2-3 numbers to call including emergency. At the scan the nurse told her name and took time. Sorry you had this experience.

@RWK29 I totally agree I can only imagine how over worked and stressed they must be, also I agree with telephone appointments for booking appt and so on. You totally hit the nail on the head, answering some questions we may have and feeling listened too is definitely not too much to ask!

I feel your pain, I am 29 weeks today and was a late Booker and FTM at age 37 only finding out at 20 weeks. At the dating scan they told me to sit and wait for a full scan, but the EGU staff sent me away, and said someone would call (not until a week later!)
Had a booking apt by phone, was worried about my age and not being able to have the downs testing. Midwife told me they would do the Quad test (in my notes as offered and accepted). About three weeks later they called and said all tests were fine, but I need to phone up the following day re Quad test for results (panic set in) turns out they had not done it and now it was too late.
At my latest scan on Monday they said I had a short cervix at 10mm, didn't explain and send me to the labour ward while my other half had to wait outside. Waited for 4 hours, while researching worryingly the outcomes. Got sent away with progresterone, no advice apart from take it easy and no excersise, the consultant will see you in a few weeks. Local midwife apt yesterday, asked for my growth chart. Not been given one. She told me to make sure I get plenty of exercise, bad for the baby to not. Also could not advise on the short cervix. Conflicting advice. Feeling very frustrated, and literally all advice on the internet is that 10mm is very short and highly likely to go into labour early. I hope your experience improves, I'm hopeful to get some answers with the consultant. It's also so hard that they don't allow partners in to any apts at the moment! X

I’m 32 weeks with #3 too. I saw a midwife for the first time last week. The appointment was cancelled and changed 3 times.

I’m having this baby in a different area to my other 2 so nothing is the same. Until I asked her the other day I didn’t even know what number to ring or where to go when I go into labour.

You are right, it’s an absolute factory at the minute and I’m raging I didn’t decide to go privately at the start.

@JosieJoE11 wow what an overwhelming experience, I’m so sorry you have all those worries, I truly hope you get the help you deserve and someone gives you peace of mind and soon. And I agree it’s upsetting our partners cant be with us, but even worse when there’s complications and you need support.

@Luckystar1 I think it’s awful that if they can’t personally give you what you need and they can’t even provide numbers at least?!

Similar feelings re. midwifery care in Scotland. I’m 25 weeks with my first baby & only from my 20 week appointments onwards have I felt like anyone actually cares & to be honest I think that’s only because I’m consultancy led now.

Booking appointment was over the phone, scans at hospital at 11 & 13 weeks weren’t a great experience. I had to ask “is everything ok?” Otherwise the two women who carried out the scans would have sat in silence. I also had to ask for the baby notes/folder (which I’ve never ever used or been given anything to put in), vitamins & for the baby book with all birth info, numbers etc which I knew from friends pregnancies I was meant to receive.

Don’t even get me started on the community midwife, which thankfully I don’t need to see anymore.

I've not had my letter through for my 12 week scan yet (I'm 11+2 today) and was passed all over the place yesterday when I was checking my hospital had my details. I had been informed at my booking in appointment that I wouldn't see a midwife until 28 weeks face to face but when I called for advice last week as work have asked me to return to the office train a new starter they told me that had now changed and I would have 16 weeks consultation over the phone and then face to face from then on. Things are very fluid with Covid, I'm under the impression that my husband can't attend 12 week scan but my hospital announced partners can come to 20 week scans. All very confusing tbh

I've had a better experience with the scans - they were friendly and pointed out what I could see on the screen.

No BP or urine at the 20 week scan though, won't meet a midwife until 28 weeks, was referred to the anesthesiologist because I have a back issue which might mean I'm not able to have an epidural, only to be told that that team are not taking any referrals at the moment due to Covid.

We have 2 known Covid cases in the county. I'd be more sympathetic if the hospital was frantically busy with it.

I have a blood clotting disorder (factor V liden) I've never had a clot myself but my mum did. I was tested early on as she was otherwise low risk when she has hers (slim and in her 40s) - 8 months sounds very late, it's just a simple blood test. In both my pregnancies I've taken 75mg asprin and then had clexane injections after the baby was born. At least you're taking aspirin anyway but I don't see why you have to wait for the test

In our area it's the other way around partners are now allowed to attend 12w scan but not 20w or growth scans.

Some people have very low standards of care to not find this awful.