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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What’s the difference between talking to the bump and the bump hearing me talk all day?

41 replies

MinesALatte · 04/08/2020 22:53

Just curious on this one... when I had my booking in call the midwife was adamant I have to talk to the bump and was quite forceful about it.
I work from home and my OH does most days too, so spend a fair bit of our day talking, as well as I’m on the phone a lot... and I have a cat who I speak to a lot 😂😂
Just wondering what the difference is between the baby hearing me talk all day and talking to it!? I’m only 13+3 so a little way to go before I need to anyway

OP posts:

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birdling · 04/08/2020 22:54

I've never had a midwife say that
I don't expect there's any difference.

peachgreen · 04/08/2020 22:57

None for the baby whatsoever. I guess it's probably intended more as a way for you to bond with it! I always felt daft doing it too tbh!

CrumpetsAndPuzzles · 04/08/2020 22:58

I’ve never spoken to my bumps! I agree with you OP, as long as they can hear your voice, how is it different to speak to them?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 04/08/2020 23:03

Whenever someone is very insistent about their pet theory I ask them to email me a few links to peer-reviewed, published research on the matter before discussing it with me any further. They invariably shut the fuck up, unless there is actually some research that they can send me in which case I'll (skim) read it and make up my own mind.

If you meet her again just nod and agree. I'm not sure how many weeks along you are at a booking in appointment, does the foetus even have ears at that stage?

DwellInPossibility · 04/08/2020 23:09

There's no difference to the baby, as long as it hears your voice. Which admittedly might not be much for some other mums during lockdown if they're alone or not working.

I think it's more supposed to make you think of 'it' (which isn't much of a baby right now) as a baby and therefore 'take better care' of it and bond and can be a warning for depression/anxiety. Some midwives are more keen on it than others, and maybe you just didn't sound enthusiastic enough about the baby in the appointment.
I guess it must work like that for some but for others it's just nonsense. If your feeling mentally well then I'd just lie next time tbh.

RWK29 · 04/08/2020 23:14

@MinesALatte Midwife at my 22 week appointment told me to do this too. Said to chat to bump lots, read books, play music and sing (poor thing will never want to make an appearance if it hears me sing 🙈😂). She gave me me a whole speech about how child development experts are expecting most babies being born this year to have various difficulties whether it be with language recognition, facial expressions or bonding with parents because they’re being born into a lockdown where they’ll have contact with limited people and lots of those that they do encounter, like medical staff, will all have their faces covered with masks due to covid. Said they were encouraging more bonding activities than usual with the bump to try and combat some of the possible effects 🤷🏻‍♀️ No idea how much of that is truthful but she proper went for it trying to convince me!

bookishtartlet · 04/08/2020 23:23

I never really talked to my bump first time round, but he heard me constantly as I'm a teacher who talks a whole lot. He knows I'm his mum and his vocabulary is exceptional at 5. This time round bump hears me reading singing and chatting nonsense to the older one. I never knew what to actually say, I think it's great if you want to but it's not damaging if you don't?!

Original poster

MinesALatte · 04/08/2020 23:24

@CrumpetsAndPuzzles glad it’s not just me 😂

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar thankfully this was over the phone due to lockdown / Covid issues but I still smiled and nodded

@DwellInPossibility I was definitely enthusiastic about the baby! Even at 8 weeks. I had a MC in February which I mentioned to her so there was definitely a lot of positivity from me. I got the feeling she was very old-skool. ‘You will try and breastfeed won’t you?’ And the like

@RWK29 😂😂 same! I want this baby to be happy, not miserable with my singing! This was mentioned at my 8 week booking in but for in the future, but yeah mine was going a long way to convince me too!

I think I’ll just stick to talking to my OH, cat... and myself 😂

OP posts:

NeedsAdvicePlease11 · 04/08/2020 23:36

Oh thats intreasting!
I always thought, when they said talk to the bump, it was in reference to dh taking time out to talk to bump as he obviously doesnt spend as much time with my bump as i do.
I think dc3 was dreading coming out the amount i moaned and shouted at dc1 & 2
The last thing bump needed was me speaking more 😂😂

AudacityOfHope · 04/08/2020 23:36

Nothing? I always thought it was a stupid idea.

New2020 · 05/08/2020 04:25

The midwife asked if I talk to the bump at my 25 week appointment. She said studies show it supports brain development...

I haven't been and liken others feel a bit weird doing it. I also wondered if hearing my voice all day was the same thing

stellabelle · 05/08/2020 04:41

I can't see any difference between talking to the bump and just talking.

RaisinGhost · 05/08/2020 04:47

Talking to the bump How funny. Are you supposed to bend over and get your face right down there? Good luck with that past 25 weeks!

And you would have to use its name so it knows you are talking to it. Oh no, what if you haven't decided it's name yet?

Snaleandthewhail · 05/08/2020 05:03

I had this from a batty health visitor.

I rarely spoke to my bumps. They still seem to know I’m their Mum...

FaiIWorseAgain · 05/08/2020 05:31

Wouldn't the difference be that you'd use motherese when/if talking to your bump? although I guess you might talk to the cat like that. I used to read Mr. Magnolia to DC1, didn't bother with 2 or 3. DC1 is probably objectively the brightest of the three but I am not taking the blame for that

Wecandothis99 · 05/08/2020 05:36

@raisinghost lol just by speaking the sound travels to the baby. "Bending over to talk" is cracking me up. And I'm not sure you need to actually use a name 😳

Hatepickinganame · 05/08/2020 06:42

I was told this at my 20 week appointment. My midwife (same one ive seen in previous pregnancies) asked if i was rubbing and talking to my bump and apparently it helps brain development. I constantly talk to mine, when she kicks in the morning ill say and hello to you too, stuff like that. My other kids and my oh talk to her, it doesnt feel weird at all. My youngest is 5 and i think he likes to talk to her the most! But thats just us ☺

Chooklass · 05/08/2020 06:45

I was told at my 16wk appointment to talk to the bump! Midwife said it helped brain development and bonding. I've been working from home, mostly alone, since lockdown started so the baby probably hears far fewer voices, including mine, than it would have in normal times. So I do talk to it, but mainly in place of talking to myself 😂

CoalCraft · 05/08/2020 06:51

It's not for the baby directly, it's tobencourage you and DH to develop an emotional attachment to the foetus early so there's no delay after the birth.

Whether there's any substance to it I have no idea. Clearly lots of women don't talk to their bumps and have no issues with bonding, so.

ScrapThatThen · 05/08/2020 06:57

All this stuff makes a difference developmentally.

110APiccadilly · 05/08/2020 07:08

Both DH and I talk to the bump. My mum told me I should sing to it... presumably, given my singing, to make sure it understands that the world is not always a happy place?

No idea whether it makes much difference though - I suspect not, though if, like me, you don't talk much during your working day, I can see it might be helpful to get baby used to speech rhythms/patterns/whatever.

sarahc336 · 05/08/2020 07:46

I have never spoken to either of my humps, totally cringe if you ask me if your talking they can hear you don't worry xx

DappledThings · 05/08/2020 07:54

I think the only time I talked directly to the bump was to ask it politely to stop wriggling so much at 3 in the morning.

BeMorePacific · 05/08/2020 07:57

Weirdly I’m talking to my bump more this time than I did 1st pregnancy. But I’m mostly just bitching about DS and OH 😂
x

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 05/08/2020 08:11

To scrap and other who say it makes a difference - what makes you say that? Is there evidence that mothers who don't have less clever children or poorer bonds?

I hate that women are told this sort of thing for no reason. If there is evidence for it, great. If not, it's patronising at best, and at worst makes women for whom it doesn't come naturally feel inadequate.

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