What’s the difference between talking to the bump and the bump hearing me talk all day?

[MinesALatte]

Just curious on this one... when I had my booking in call the midwife was adamant I have to talk to the bump and was quite forceful about it.
I work from home and my OH does most days too, so spend a fair bit of our day talking, as well as I’m on the phone a lot... and I have a cat who I speak to a lot 😂😂
Just wondering what the difference is between the baby hearing me talk all day and talking to it!? I’m only 13+3 so a little way to go before I need to anyway

Bump must hear me shouting at DD all day long! We're in a difficult stage.

I say hello when she kicks but I don't sit there reading to her or singing. DH would think I'd lost it if I suggested he do anything of the sort.

I've never talked to mine exactly, but I did read children's books and sing songs to my first. I felt pretty silly, but I understand the logic of it. Songs and prose are good for babies language development once their born, it is different to just conversation.

I didn't do it with the youngest though, because I figured they were overhearing the stuff I was doing with the older, non bump child.

I guess hearing you speak in a soothing, gentle voice would also be beneficial, guessing you don't use that on your work calls!

Info here:

ascel.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/public/Bookstart%20Bump%20Research%20handout.pdf

I've never heard of MWs doing thus. I thought it was limited to 'build a better baby' types who make you feel inferior even pre-natally.

(That said, the only time in my life I listened to Mozart was during first pregnancy. I was probably annoying about that too!)

I spoke to them once I could feel movement, felt right then.

@withgraceinmyheart That link notes that babies can recognise familiar sounds (such as their native language vowels and even the Neighbours theme tune), not that bumps need to be specifically talked to to help them to do this.

It is also aimed at vulnerable mothers, presumably because they might struggle with communication or learning for their baby in some way.

It doesn't back up the OP's MW at all.

I get asked this at every appointment. I don't really talk out loud to my bump, the odd "that's not very comfortable, can you move please"
My partner speaks to my bump but I figure she hears me speak enough. I don't feel any less connected to her by not speaking out loud to her.

This thread has really cracked me up this morning 😂😂 so funny. I think the baby (I'm 20 weeks) will come out thinking its name is the dog's name as I talk to that pretty much constantly!

I'm 100% convinced the whole thing is bullshit. There's no possible way the fetus would know you were talking to it as opposed to anything else (especially before its even developed ears). Everything is muffled in there anyway even once they do get ears. I'll probably start talking to them when they start moving more or kicking properly just out of habit as I talk to myself (and clearly the dog) all the time, not out of any idea it would help 'brain development'. I'm pretty sure they've got enough brain development going on at the moment without me chatting shit to it making the slightest bit of difference.

I'm also kind of annoyed there's still midwives about giving pregnant women this sort of weird 'advice' / old wives tales. But then again I suppose certain old school doctors will do the same. I got called a 'young lady' by my GP the other day and from his voice I was pretty sure he was similar in age to me. But oh well.

*Pauline
*
I didn't intend to back up the OPs midwife as such, more to back up my own point about reading books and singing, and why that's different to just the normal talking you do in your day. That's what the OP asked.

It's recommended that parents read to their children, and that starts in pregnancy. Up to you whether or not you choose to.

I'm classed as a vulnerable mother btw, and neither of us know whether the OP is or not. Please don't make generalisations about what 'vulnerable mothers' struggle to do, we're a diverse bunch. Your comment comes across as a bit snobby.

The only thing I can think of is that, as another poster mentioned, if you talk to your bump, you're more likely to use motherese. No doubt that'll be the same way you talk to your baby when they are born, so your baby will recognise the special pattern of your speech. Using motherese when the baby is born is thought to help support brain development, so starting to do the same with your bump, may just be going further along those lines.

I talk to my bump a lot.

Mainly to say “please, for gods sake, stop it!” When she’s kicking me to death 😂

What was lovely though is when I was pregnant with my second, my Ds used to talk to my bump all the time. When Dd was born and Ds came to visit, when he spoke to her for the first time she was crying and immediately stopped and turned her head towards him and fixed on him. So recognised his voice. It was so amazing to watch (and thankfully Dh caught it on video!)

The baby I’m carrying now responds to dds (bossy 6 year old) voice - she will stop kicking and wriggling and go still.

Nothing for me though, but they can hear higher pitched children’s voices better in the womb.

Either that or she just thinks I’m a moaning old cow already 😂

I feel super awkward talking to my bump! DH tries to, as he wants her to be familiar with his language so we can raise her bilingual.

I figure she's been hearing our voices almost exclusively for the past few months in lockdown. She'll probably be sick of the sound of us when she arrives!

I guess hearing you speak in a soothing, gentle voice would also be beneficial, guessing you don't use that on your work calls!

I have a lazy teenager, a stroppy 6 year old and a Dh who drives me batshit at times.

My poor baby - must think all I do is shout!

@withgraceinmyheart very glad to hear you're not in that boat! Wasn't intended to be a generalisation, and I'm sorry it came across that way - but some women are vulnerable because of communication issues and so might value more direct guidance than others need.

OK link.

I'm not saying that it's the be all and end all, but it's part of a menu of things that support neuro development and incredibly important for parents to know about motherese and attending and bond. I know for many reasons attachment theories can feel blaming but there is evidence for talking.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=ascel.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/public/Bookstart%2520Bump%2520Research%2520handout.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiBla3u0ITrAhXGSsAKHT1nDyEQFjANegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw37GnxY0sqB592X4-7xBa6T" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=ascel.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/public/Bookstart%2520Bump%2520Research%2520handout.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiBla3u0ITrAhXGSsAKHT1nDyEQFjANegQIBRAB&usg=AOvVaw37GnxY0sqB592X4-7xBa6T

Thanks Pauline, I appreciate that.