Did anyone decide theyd prefer to be an older parent?

[bettydaviseyes1]

I'm 28, married 6 years and, although I'd love kids, I'm just not ready to have them yet. I think I'd like to be an older parent, maybe start trying at 33-35. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to fall pregnant easily and I know it's making it more risky/less likely but I suppose I'd just like to hear from others who had babies later in life through choice rather than through circumstance?

I had my daughter a few days before my 37th birthday. It only took me 3 months to conceive (despite having Endometriosis). If i'd known it would be that straightforward (except for hyperemesis) I would have waitied another couple of years. I wish there were some reasonably reliable test for fertitilty!!

@Cyw2018 lovely to hear a positive story :) and yes!! If only there was a reliable test out there. If I knew it would take 10 years to conceive I'd start now but if I knew itd take 3 months I'm happy to wait at least another 7 or 8!

I'm worried about getting to the age I want to have kids and finding out it's hard to fall pregnant and that I might have missed my chance because I'd rather have a baby tomorrow than not at all!

I started TTC at 32. I'm now 41 and still don't have children. Nothing wrong with starting family later but don't assume it will happen easily. Maybe consider freezing some eggs while you're young and healthy.

I'm 38 and due any day with my first. I didn't intend to leave it quite this late but 33-35 would have been ideal IMO. 28 would have been too young (for me) - I was only just starting my career and too busy having fun!

I had DS1 a few weeks before I turned 37; DS4 aged almost 44.

It was not completely by choice - I met my H quite late in life and I had a number of MCs. However, I recognise how lucky I am to have had the healthy family I wanted.

I don't think there is a perfect time to have children, however all things being equal I wish I'd been in a position to have mine earlier.

Obviously there are never any guarantees when TTC, but fertility 'falling off a cliff' at any kind of certain age is not actually factually true. Yes, fertility does decline with age, but not suddenly and NOBODY knows what their fertility is like until they try to use it.

Think about why you want children at all - logically it makes no sense at all...

I have done it both ways (baby as a teen and in my mid 30s). Mid 30s infinitely easier. I’m now 40 and have been TTC for almost 2 years though, and it’s not happening. In my teens I (accidentally) got pregnant instantly, and in mid-30s I (purposefully) got pregnant instantly. So I suppose my fertility vanished at maybe 38 or a bit before, but it’s different for everyone.

The older I am, the more patient and settled in motherhood I feel.

I started TTC age 32, and still TTC 9yrs later!!! Not so common, but certainly a possibility. Going back, I'd still have waited, but would have insisted on testing earlier and changing GP's much sooner!

I started ttc at 29 and had DS at 39. Planning one more asap. I didn’t plan to be an older mum and for a while I was really second guessing myself about it, but now I am a little more settled I can definitely see the benefits as comparer with my siblings who had kids earlier.

I have more money, a better career which in turn gives me flexibility when I need it, and I am more confident about parenting the way I want to do things.

I had always intended to have kids in my 30s, as I wanted to establish my career and be more financially stable. I had my DC1 at 33 (ttc for 6 months) and DC2 at 37 (ttc for 5 months). I do feel fortunate, as I thought it would have taken longer as I have PCOS and have a high BMI.

I thought 35 was my ideal age to have a baby and 40 was my last point I wanted to have a child. Started trying at 34 thinking it gave me 6 years to go through IVF if necessary and I got pregnant almost immediately.

I felt very lucky, my parents had fertility problems and I always assumed I would too. I always hoped, but never expected to become a mum. Its great being an older mum 35 was the perfect age for me.

The idea of a baby before 32 was a massive no no from me! I’m 35 and feel this is a good age, first one on the way.
I wanted to travel so we crammed in as many trips as possible before settling down for a bit hoping baby will be coming on adventures in a few years.

35 & 38 for my two - got pregnant pretty much straight away both times.

Not sure it was a plan as such but has worked out well - worked hard on career, nice house, nice car, loads of holidays. While I wanted kids I don't think I felt any real yearning to try until 34!

I think mid-thirties is ideal - 32 to 36 ish.

I haven’t yet meet the right man but if I had, I’d have been looking to have all my children between 30 and 35. Seems like the perfect age. I don’t really see the ages you mention as “older parent” tbh. Maybe it’s because I’m childless and 36 but “older parents” these days to me are very late thirties to 45.

Most people I know didn’t start trying to conceive until they were at least 30.

I didn't plan to have children, so there was no plan on age. At 40 odd with a toddler I am feeling my age plus a few years. But on the other hand, I had a house and had progressed a bit at work as having kids is career suicide. I am definitely more patient and interested in them than I would have been if I was younger. Plus better able to stand up to the barrage of "advice" on how to do everything.

My pregnancy was totally unplanned as I never really saw kids in my life plan but here I am, 37 years old and 37 weeks pregnant with my first child.

I now feel that this has happened at exactly the right time for me.....i wouldn't have wanted kids any sooner than this.
I have a good job, i'm financially secure and I'm a totally different person to the one I was in my 20's (with a different partner too!). My 20's and early 30's were spent travelling the world, being selfish and enjoying myself. I have no regrets at all.

33 is definately not older round me! Average age is late 30s.

I suppose you can never know if you will have problems conceiving... That's the risk

I had DS just shy of 40 by choice, and was bang on average for my London NCT group. We conceived the first month of trying -- my caveat is that I was not terribly invested in having a child, and would have moved on contentedly enough if it didn't happen. Though I'm very glad it did.

Earlier simply wouldn't have worked for me -- my job requires a significant chunk of postgrad qualifications, so I was in my first job late anyway, and I'm a much more patient, relaxed (and prosperous) parent than I would have been earlier in my 30s.

DS was born a couple of weeks before I turned 37. We were trying for 3 years and eventually conceived via ivf. We were so lucky that it worked first time. For us the timing is good. We’ve had lots of time to travel and financially we’re in a good place. However the uncertainty of the last few years has been hard and I worried that we left it too late. If there had been a guarantee I would have a baby now then I absolutely would have waited. Unfortunately there are no guarantees in the fertility world.

Given this background I would say not to wait until mid 30’s. I completely understand why you aren’t ready now though. I wouldn’t have been at 28 either. You may find in a couple of years when more friends are starting families. I found that my broodiness literally appeared overnight!

The only thing I’d consider is grandparents. I do wish my sons GP’s were a little younger, so they could have more quality time together.
I want my children to have memories of their GP’s, which is something I didn’t have x

My experience is a bit of a car crash really

Had DD1 at age 32 and that felt like the perfect age to be honest - then it's taken 5 years - 5 miscarriages 2 ruptured ectopics- now completely infertile as lost both tubes - 5 rounds of IVF and £35k - I'm now 9 weeks with twins

I wouldn't put it off much later than 32 - IVF isn't a magical fix

Yes. I knew I wanted a family but I had a great career, international job, house of my own. I was busy and not the sort of life that leant itself to a regular relationship.

Then I had a health problem and was told I couldn’t have children. Then I conceived ds at 44.

But I would have made a terrible mum much earlier. I was too selfish, less mature. I’m much more resourceful, calmer, less hyper. Being older, I can give ds a better life.

I got married at age 30 although I'd been with my DH 7 years by this point so not sure why we waited so long, then had a baby at age 33.
I thought I'd only have the one as DH already had 2 children from a previous marriage but when I was 41 decided I'd like another and had a baby at 42. I was lucky and conceived easily both times

33 for my first, 43 for my second.
Another car crash of a journey here too, 6 years trying 7 miscarriages, long periods of infertility.
Ttc for 18 months or more then miscarriages.
Started ttc after the age of 30 as I was too busy with life, career etc.

Not at all how I expected it to go.

33 is an older parent?!

I'm nearly 35. Decided We wanted kids about 4 years ago but timing wasn't right. I've been married nearly 9 years and we are now trying.
I wasn't going to cave to the pressure of everyone always asking 'when'. Now is right for us.