Did anyone decide theyd prefer to be an older parent?

[bettydaviseyes1]

I'm 28, married 6 years and, although I'd love kids, I'm just not ready to have them yet. I think I'd like to be an older parent, maybe start trying at 33-35. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to fall pregnant easily and I know it's making it more risky/less likely but I suppose I'd just like to hear from others who had babies later in life through choice rather than through circumstance?

It depends a lot where you live, where I am at age 33 you'd probably be a younger parent!

I did it by accident - finished my family bang on 40. I wouldn’t recommend to people unless you can take or leave having kids (and are sure you will still feel that way at 40).

We struggled to get pg

By accident because I didn’t meet dp until I was 34

Personally think 32 is a sensible age for anyone who feels it’s important to them to have two kids. You can use your 20s and early 30s to have fun and then you start trying early enough to be able to get fertility help if you need it.

I was early/mid thirties. I cannot imagine trying in my twenties as I was travelling then focusing on my career.

However, I am really sad that my children had a very short time with one of their grandparents.

@bettydaviseyes1Oh my goodness yes. 28 was too young for me. And a good thing too because my ex-husband ended up being not a very nice guy. Settled down again at 31 with no intention to start a family for a good few years because we love to travel but a little surprise appeared in March when I was 33. Sadly I miscarried, but we're now 10/11 weeks along with another little thing. I'm 34 and he's 37 and it feels right. I mean, the world is in turmoil and I might lose my job and there's a global pandemic, but you can' fault those biological urges and the crazy things they make you do sometimes. Enjoy being 28! You're just a baby!

I wouldn't have considered having kids in my twenties. I was not financially stable and not mature or patient enough.

At 30 years old I started thinking seriously about what "the plan" was. Ended up having DS1 at 31 and DS2 at 33. I would not have considered leaving it until much later as I was not willing to risk childlessness. Also, I wanted to have energy (sleepless nights are hard enough at 31, let alone 41 !). And I wanted to be young enough to do stuff with the kids (travelling, hiking, horse riding treks, etc).

I feel like leaving it after 35 is too much of a gamble. Yes, some people get pregnant immediately and/or still have kids at 45. But you don't know for sure. Also depends on how many kids you want - I wanted at least 2 and it took me almost 3 years to get there. And I didn't have any fertility issue other than being single.

So I guess the answer you're looking for is a complex equation between your professionnal life, your fun, the likelihood of having kids later in life and how bothered you are by taking that risk...

Forgot to add - knowing that the child making is done and I never have to go through pregnancy and birth again is a huge relief, as is knowing that it can only get easier now. My youngest is 2 months old and getting close to sleeping through the night. No more sleepless nights for me ! And knowing that every diaper I change is one less in the grand scheme of things. For that reason alone it was worth it not to wait any longer for me !

@Malysh I'm definitely with you on knowing the child-making is done thing. After having a mc, I am anxious all the time in this pregnancy. I'm not out the woods yet but I so want this to be my baby because the worry is too much sometimes and I'm only a quarter of the way through. I've promised myself I'm not going to put myself through this again after one. Luckily I have lots of pregnant friends right now so if this is the one, they'll not be lonely. And I hope every day that it is because I'm getting used to it.

Married at 20, DC1 at 37 and DC2 at 39 through choice. I wasn't ready for them, but now I'm 50 and they're 13 and 10 I do have occasional sneaking little thoughts that I wish I'd had them younger.