Rude midwife..possible pre labour?

[grace1991]

Hello! I'm 38weeks today and all day I have been experiencing mild period pain type cramps, and shooting pains in my bum.
I have spent a lot of the day lying on my left hand side and the Braxton hicks have really intensified and are becoming painful when they happen (which is roughly once every twenty mins)
I keep getting the urge to poo (sorry!) but then nothing really happens.
Baby is really moving and his movement is almost hurting me now. Hiccups also seem really really low down, lower than I've ever had before.
I called Triage just letting them know and asking for some advice and the midwife was really rude and told me only to call when I'm in labour. I explained I just needed some advice and reassurance and wanted to know if I was possibly experiencing pre labour and she just said have a bath and don't call again until you have real contractions three minutes apart. I felt really tearful after the call as I know it's not full blown labour but I'm really uncomfortable today.
I guess what I'm on here for is just some advice. Do you think it sounds like pre labour? Are things beginning to happen?
Any advice would be really appreciated. First time mum and suffering with quite bad anxiety.
Thankyou xxxxx

I would say you are certainly getting ready to have a baby. That could happen in the next 24 hours or it could be in 20 weeks time.

Do you have a tens machine? Try moving through the pain, marching helped me. A bath can be a god send to relieve the pain. Try one labour breathing exercises.

You can do this!

That should be 2 weeks not 20 weeks!

@Lockdownseperation I hope it isn't 20 weeks time or I will be 58 weeks pregnant but yes. Possibly going to happen soon.
Thankyou for your advice, I really appreciate it. I don't have a tens machine but will have a bounce on the ball and hot water bottle afterwards.

I had this a couple of weeks before due date and baby was a week late, I'm sorry you can't get any advice from the midwife and have to ask strangers on the internet, but for what it's worth when I did go into labour I had enormously uncomfortable cramps and diarrhoea and didn't realise I was in labour because of that for hours and then when I went in because I was unsure if it was as what I thought might be contractions were all over the place baby was born just under an hour after I arrived.

Everyone has different experiences so I'd hate for you to be given the wrong advice I was always told if you're unsure call and speak to someone even out of hours but I know it's difficult at the moment I'd just say trust your instincts.

I went for a long walk the evening I gave birth and the pains started shortly after arriving home, of course I'm not claiming it was the walk but possibly.

Those sound like late pregnancy symptoms rather than necessarily being the onset of labour. So the midwife is correct, but it sounds like she wasn't very tactful about it. She may have been at the end of a long shift and not feeling very patient. Do you have a community midwife that you could call with similar queries in future? Or post here on mumsnet (for non urgent advice).

Tens machine and a bath are good advice. Also gentle yoga stretches and start listening to some kind of hypnobirthing, which will help you relax in late pregnancy and prepare for the birth.

Humph well I was very uncomfortable and kept going to the loo but nothing actually happening. Midwife told me not to come in but to have a bath and do some ironing. As I was getting in the bath had a massive bleed so rushed into hospital and had dd 30 mins later. I'll be going in at the first sniff of anything this time

@ellsom thankyou very much. Yeah we are going to go for a walk later with the dog and see if that helps.
It's a shame I can't speak to the maternity triage team. I feel they've always been v v v unapproachable and blunt. Never mind xx

@Kittywampus thankyou for your advice. I don't have a community midwife unfortunately. Always been told to call triage.

@chubbyhotchoc oh wow!!!! At least you didn't have a horrid long labour and baby was born quickly!
I will monitor through the night and see where I'm at. Just feels really sore and uncomfortable

Sounds like my early labour. Is baby still moving and acting ok?

@BabyLlamaZen baby seems to be ok, perhaps slightly limited movements than normal but definitely still moving as it's hurting me! Keeps sticking bum and feet really far out. Did you have the bearing down pain and period type pains (albeit mild?)

I would try to sleep if I were you. If anyone had given me that advice when I was experiencing what you're going through, I would have laughed (ok, sobbed) as I was so sure DS1 was going to pop any minute. He arrived 40ish hours later and I had been awake for almost all of that time. Mistaaaaake!

Aside from that, jeez, rude midwife!

Oh, and I was induced btw, he wasn't coming out on his own, frustratingly.

@CoolNoMore how many weeks were you??

Definitely try and rest, if it is labour you might need that extra energy I was 39wks and 52 hours in labour , I had similar symptoms for around a week.... Not what you want hear but I found a fair amount of movement when not resting brought things on abit quicker x

They are rude aren't they? I was experiencing the same one morning and my daughter arrived at 9pm at night. I rang triage 12pm at lunch that day and was given a weird answer. Rang them again 2 hours later and was told to take two paracetamols and stop worrying. I was in pain an hour later so I told her I hadn't felt baby move since yesterday and she told her colleague 'now she's saying no baby movements'. Told me to come in for a check up. Blood pressure was very high.

Went to the toilet and had blood in my knickers (7pm in the evening). Outside I could hear triage staff saying my name and saying such awful things. So and so claims she's not had baby move and now she's saying this that the other like I was lying. I cried a lot. It was only 5 minutes later a student nurse seeing me in pain did a check and I was 8cm dialated. Gave birth 20 minutes later.

I'd go into hospital if I were you and tell them you feel like something is wrong. Honestly for people who are pregnant for the first time should be given more help. I was in labour but I didn't know I was in labour because, I had never experienced labour. Just go in and say you feel a lot of pain and just need to be seen to see if everything's okay. Just so that you're ready if you are going to give birth any second.

Oh that's awful OP that they treated you like that 🤦🏼‍♀️

And to say only call when you're in labour is ridiculous as a first time mum (and even if you aren't be honest as every pregnancy is different!) you don't necessarily know what "labour" is exactly!

Hope it all goes ok for you and you aren't too uncomfortable

I was in early labour for about a week and called up every day thinking I was ready to come in and every time the midwives brushed me off. I was starting to get really annoyed although after the first few days I realised that obviously things weren’t happening fast.

I actually ended up going to be induced (13 days overdue) but went into established labour before they actually got around to inserting the pessary. When I went into active labour I KNEW about it.

I laughed about it with one of the midwives afterwards - but you have no idea what to expect the first time; you just have to trust them (and don’t feel like they’re being rude or dismissive, I am sure if it feels like that it’s unintentional because they’ve had probably hundreds of the same call that week alone).

Sorry you didn’t have a helpful interaction on the phone with one of the midwives.
Midwife here, sounds like could easily be normal late pregnancy aches and pains (I was in pain from around 37weeks constantly until he was born 😫 both time’s), equally could be the start of labour.

I would suggest taking regular paracetamol, have a deep warm bath, warm drink, and snuggle up in bed with some pillows between your knees around around your body for support. See how you go.

The problem comes with atypical people...but there are plenty of them. A friend of mine told not to be silly because it would be hours had her baby in the hospital car park in the back of her car. I was told to explain that I had a very high pain threshold if I gave birth again etc etc.

How are you doing, OP? Go in if you can’t cope!

I think it sounds like my early labour experience. But it was 35 hours after that before DD was born. It's horrible that they're dismissive though - you don't know what it feels like to have a baby until you've had a baby! (And even then your next one could be different...)

@faithfulbird thankyou so much! I just called the triage and spoke to a different midwife who was really helpful. Said it all sounds normal and I'm welcome in if I wanted, but they wouldn't examine me unless baby was showing signs of distress on monitor. I know baby is fine though. I'm gonna monitor overnight and see where I'm at in the morning.
Your labour sounds crazy!!!!!
Xxx

Thankyou all soooo much for your kind words. It's nice to know I'm not alone and this could well just be normal.
Spoken to a lovely kind midwife just now who said it sounds normal but to come in if I'm worried.
I'm going to try and get a good nights sore and see how I feel tomorrow.
You're all very kind xxx

I'd echo the advice to sleep if you possibly can. If this is early labour, then it may take a while for things to really get going, and you need to rest as much as possible while you can. If you can't sleep then have a warm bath and try to relax as much as you can.

Glad you managed to speak to someone who was able to reassure you. I've just had a stay on the antenatal ward and the midwifes there were all sooo lovely. I think generally they're a pretty nice bunch, but as with anything you'll come across the odd person who isnt quite as approachable/friendly.

Good luck with everything!