Can’t decide how to feed baby - breast, bottle or both!

[Lunastar9]

Hi,

I’m due in August so I’m thinking more about how i want to feed my baby when he arrives.

I originally wanted to breastfeed however I have generalised anxiety disorder which is currently quite bad and am worried the lack of sleep will cause it to become unbearable for me. I’ve been having trouble sleeping during pregnancy (hence the post at 6.30 am - I’ve already been awake 3 hours 😖) and it has made my anxiety absolutely crippling already.

I have been considering combi feeding with breast milk and formula at the same time, but wondered if it’s possible to exclusively pump the breast milk as opposed to feeding from the boob so that it takes some of the pressure off me? Or would my supply dry up? This is all assuming I am able to breast feed in the first place.

I really don’t know what’s best, I mostly want to ensure the baby gets the colostrum when he’s first born as I’ve heard that it is good for their immune system so don’t know whether to try breastfeed and see how long I can manage, but I don’t want to feel like a failure if it doesn’t go well.

I’m a first time mum so really not got a clue, are there any classes I could look at online or anything that could help? Any experiences you’d like to share?

Would love to hear from everyone!

My DD was born with a tongue tie and BFing was really painful for me and frustrating for her.

I expressed milk until she was about three months old and topped up with formula. She is now a happy and healthy 6yo.

I’m pregnant again and planning to attempt BFing again but want my baby to be checked for a tongue tie straight away. Both DH and I have them quite severely. Mine more than DH’s but his affects his speech slightly.

Do you feel you need to make a decision on this right now? Can you take a more relaxed take it as it comes approach? As you will be aware this thread (like all breastfeeding and formula feeding comparison threads) has a danger of getting significantly derailed and even very heated as this is a very polarising subject matter. My best advice to you is to wait until the baby arrives, see how the birth goes, how that leaves you feeling, what sort of sleep you manage to get, how you feel after baby is here and take it as it comes? Would it help to say that for the minute you haven’t set an answer in stone?

Hi OP, I did mixed feeding, some breast, some bottle/formula. This was because I desperately needed help with the feeds as I was so so tired. It was great, meant DH could get up early after I had done the nights so I could sleep in. Also meant I could do things on my own when I needed a break. My milk supply never dried up, and I managed to BF til 9months.

There's plenty of support around breastfeeding out there, la leche league are great, and if you have a decent midwife at the birth they should be able to assist. There were also breastfeeding workshops near me, though not sure if these would be running now. Are you doing NCT or any ante natal classes? As these usually cover breastfeeding.

I think exclusively pumping is more tiring than exclusively breastfeeding, as you have to pump and then feed rather than just pump. As you need to continue to pump throughout the night to keep your supply up. And you also have to keep washing and sterilising the pump. So I wouldn't recommend this as a method of getting more sleep.

I would recommend just seeing how things go. Maybe breastfeeding works out well for you and baby only wakes up every 3 hours or so and quickly settles after a feed. Just evaluate in the moment. If you're struggling then you can try to make a new plan, and I'm sure mumsnet will be here to help you with this when the time comes.

Had awful time breastfeeding my first, it really marred my early weeks with the baby. Planned to combi feed my second because I didn't want to go through that again. Have had an amazing time and still bfing now baby is nearly 2. Combining has meant I enjoyed breastfeeding, enjoyed the early days and have continued longer. Would always recommend it!

It's worth bearing in mind that breastfeeding does not mean a bad sleeper! I have ebf both my sons. The first was a terrible sleeper but the second is really good and was sleeping 6-7 hour stints at night within the first couple of months. I've also known people switch to formula in the hopes it helps their baby sleep better and it hasn't! Babies sleeping poorly is really normal and it may be worth having realistic expectations of that, with a plan of how you're going to rest when you need it.

Expressing or formula would definitely help someone else take over so you can rest. Equally though, I believe some research suggests breastfeeding mothers actually get higher quality sleep and fall asleep much quicker due to all the hormones. Plus if you bf and co-sleep you don't have to get up at all at night - just have some sleepy feeds then back to sleep (I've done this with both of mine). I definitely am glad I didn't have to get up and faff with bottles on cold winter nights that's for sure! On the other hand, if you bottle feed you could alternate nights with your partner and get full nights of sleep which sound like they would be massively beneficial to you!

Personally, I struggled to express and, despite an abundant supply, could never get much out but it is possible to exclusively pump - my mother did it with my brother for 2 months! Your supply will gradually decrease though; I'm not sure how long, on average, people manage to do it.

I'd say there's no harm in trying bf-ing at the start and then see how you go. You could introduce a bottle a day of either formula or expressed milk and then either stick to that or gradually increase until you are fully bottle feeding if breastfeeding isn't working out for you. Good luck!

Breastfeeding can be harder for the first few weeks but is then very very easy. There’s no washing and sterilising of bottles or mixing and waiting for feeds to cool etc. No remembering to take milk with you when you go out.
After a few weeks you can introduce a bottle a formula to have a break.
Pumping generally takes longer than just bf. Bottle fed babies don’t necessarily sleep better and once you’ve fed baby you can hand it over to DH for a rest.

I agree with @Namesgonenow, I'd just give breastfeeding a whirl and see if it suits you both.

People say FF helps babies sleep but I don't think there's actual evidence for this. FF may reduce feeding for comfort for older babies, but there are ways to avoid this. In practice for the first few months baby is likely to wake frequently anyway, and when breastfeeding it's an easy comfort to get a newborn back to sleep.

I mix fed DD throughout. Initially it was probably 90% FF because we really struggled to latch, but in time it moved towards 90% BF. It was great as DH could give her an AM bottle and I could get some kip, and it meant that if I needed to be away for a few hours I could. I did pump to build up my supply but in the end I couldn't see the harm in the odd bottle of formula. It felt like the best of both.

I found what worked for me is breastfeeding and sleeping with the baby. There scientific studies that show breastfeeding mums get more sleep on average. It's hard for the first few weeks but if you can get through that then breastfeeding so much easier than worrying about remembering bottles.
Pumping milk is definitely not an easy option and hard. I hated it. Some women manage it though.
I recommend starting with breastfeeding and seeing how you go. Before my baby was born I didn't have much of a clue but I loved breastfeeding and wouldn't do anything else having experienced it. You have to do what's right for you though - but I think if you want to establish breastfeeding it's best just to do it to get started and then if you want or need to add in other feeding formats.
La leche league are doing online sessions for new mums - might be worth signing up.

Formula fed babies will not necessarily sleep better.

Exclusively pumping is hard work. Definitely far easier to breast feed if your baby has no issues with latch.

If you want to breastfeed then go with that. It's very straightforward for lots of mums and babies but if it isn't working quite right then there is a lot of support which can really help. If you're finding breastfeed really isn't working for you then formula is at the 24 hour Tesco.

I know it's tough with your anxiety but once baby is here you will work our a way of feeding it which suits you you both.

I’m due in August so I’m thinking more about how i want to feed my baby when he arrives.

It's good to think about these things in advance but be aware that baby may have their own ideas too

I originally wanted to breastfeed however I have generalised anxiety disorder which is currently quite bad and am worried the lack of sleep will cause it to become unbearable for me. I’ve been having trouble sleeping during pregnancy (hence the post at 6.30 am - I’ve already been awake 3 hours 😖) and it has made my anxiety absolutely crippling already.

There's so many variables that it's really hard to advise - you may find your anxiety dissipates at the birth and you enter motherhood feeling stronger and calmer than you've ever been. You may not. You might have a breastfed baby who's a good sleeper. You might have a formula-fed baby who's a terrible sleeper. You get the idea...

I have been considering combi feeding with breast milk and formula at the same time, but wondered if it’s possible to exclusively pump the breast milk as opposed to feeding from the boob so that it takes some of the pressure off me? Or would my supply dry up? This is all assuming I am able to breast feed in the first place.

Different women respond differently to pumping - some can breastfeed just fine but don't get much out with a pump, others express fine. While expressing does take some pressure off - my DH can take baby while I get 5 -6 hours - it comes with pressures of its own. Personally, I don't think there is one perfect way to feed a baby, and it's about weighing up the pros and cons for each individual baby and their mum to work out what that is. And it may change over time. Would your supply dry up? Dunno - there's a lot of different factors that impact on your supply. There are things you can do to help it though.

I really don’t know what’s best

No one does, we're all winging it.

I mostly want to ensure the baby gets the colostrum when he’s first born as I’ve heard that it is good for their immune system so don’t know whether to try breastfeed and see how long I can manage, but I don’t want to feel like a failure if it doesn’t go well.

You might feel bad if you don't give it a go - you may be someone who finds it pretty straightforward. You don't know until you try. If you try and then stop, you'll be in good company. 80% of British women try breastfeeding. By six weeks old, 24% of babies are exclusively breastfed. By six months it's 1%. (UNICEF stats, if anyone cares). 34% of six month olds are combi fed though, so clearly a fair few women find it works for them.

Obviously you'll have heard the "breast is best" slogan. In terms of the nutritional factor of the milk that's true, but there's more to caring for a baby than just milk - mother's mental health, for example, is very important too. I think you really do just have to wait and see and then make the decision that is best for you and your baby as a whole.

I’m a first time mum so really not got a clue, are there any classes I could look at online or anything that could help? Any experiences you’d like to share?

Lots of people recommend La Leche League. They definitely know their stuff, but I sometimes find their tone veers into quasi- religious, and prefer kellymom (website).

Ask your mw what support is available - where I live there is FA apart from a peer support group that I couldn't get to for the first 6 weeks due to a rough CS recovery, then lockdown started. My friends in the next NHS Trust over had unlimited access to a multi- disciplinary award- winning breastfeeding clinic, so you never know.

Just wanted to give a different opinion on this. Like you I have a history of mental health issues.
When DS was born I attempted breast feeding but only managed it for 3 days 😩 I’m pretty certain the pressure to breast feed contributed to my PND.
Switching to formula really was the best thing for me and baby. I really struggled to bond with baby in the early days and being able to let DH do some of the feeds definitely helped me relax and start to build a relationship with my baby.
Obviously I would always say to try to breast feed as it is proven to be best for baby but please please don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. My baby is now 5 months and has been meeting all of his mile stones ahead of time. People also comment on how he’s the happiest baby they’ve ever seen.
Just remember happy mummy = happy baby

Statistically speaking, I understand that studies have determined that parents who breastfeed get more sleep overall then those who formula feed. Obviously this will vary from individual family to family, but it may be worth taking into account as part of your thinking, if sleep is your particular concern.

I would just wait and see how it goes - you have no idea what your baby (and you!) will be like. My best friend EBF both her babies to age 1, both slept through quite early on and were very settled.

I was determined to bf, and although DD was gaining weight etc, she was constantly hungry and it did make sleep very, very difficult. Moving to formula worked brilliantly for us (she was 6 weeks). She is 3 now and absolutely thriving.

I’d say to definitely give breastfeeding a go, and see how it goes for you, but if you are finding it too exhausting, don’t beat yourself up about using formula.

Ds just didn't take to breastfeeding at all so I expressed for the first few weeks then he was exclusively formula fed. This time round, dd took to breastfeeding really well (was painful to start) and I had every intention of sort of combi feeding so dp could help but she never took to a bottle so here we are at 16 months still bf.
With her i really wanted to make sure she got at least the 1st couple of weeks for the colostrum etc but was very chilled about fed is best incase we didn't get on with it. I did pump for a while but found it was exhausting and was then wasted as she never drank from a bottle.

I think try and go into it all with an open mind. Baby will guide you and you have to think about your mental health too. I love breastfeeding but certainly wasn't prepared for how sore and hard work it is physically to begin with so make sure you've got good nipple cream, comfy bras and regardless of feeding choice some decent reusable breast pads. Asda do some that are £1 for 6 and I found them brilliant, so much more comfortable than disposable ones!

Good luck with whatever you decide lovely!!

I think it depends on the baby, some are better sleepers than others. What kept me breastfeeding personally was the prospect of having to get up in the night to make a bottle. With a baby who sleeps through early and has a predictable schedule formula might be easier.

I'd really look into both methods in detail, in both cases you are advised to feed on demand and formula prep is more laborious than it was a generation ago due to safety updates.

Sleep is not determined by how a baby feeds. My sisters daughter was bottle fed and didn’t sleep. My son was combi fed, and slept amazingly well.
I would always recommend breast if you want to try it. Bottles can be introduced at any time, and you can always pick up formula at 24hr Tesco etc. But if you can BF it is much easier in the long run xx

My twins couldn’t breastfeed (both were in nicu and tube fed and then couldn’t latch no matter what we tried) and I pumped for them (can’t say exclusively as I never produced enough for both even pumping 2 hourly round the clock). I can honestly say pumping is the worst of both worlds. You still have to wake up to pump, and you have to then bottle feed, plus all the washing up... and I can’t really explain what it’s like but pumping can be absolutely awful. I kept it up for 7 months because I was so affected by not being able to BF but looking back I should have stopped far sooner.

You don’t need to make any decisions now and it’s impossible to when you don’t know how you’ll feel or how feeding will go. Play it by ear.

Unfortunately sleep deprivation is a given with most babies however they are fed, and waking to give them a bottle is usually more of a faff than breastfeeding them. Of course a partner can share the load if you’re formula feeding.

There is an oldish documentary that was from the bbc but is now on YouTube it's called Cherry does breastfeeding... it's presented by Cherry Healey and she goes through breastfeeding, the good and the bad! She struggled with it and felt guilt because she couldn't get it but she says that everyone is different.

I think if breastfeeding goes well then it's brilliant if it doesn't it's a complete nightmare. I'd say don't plan too far in advance as that could be setting yourself up to fail, maybe think I'm going to bf when baby is born or I'm going to give ff and almost take each day at a time. Its one of those things you don't know how it's going to go and what the baby is going to be like.

I'd say go into it with an open mind and just see how it goes. Some people find breastfeeding easy and others don't, a lot seems to depend on the baby and how they take to it.

I've known plenty of bad sleepers who were formula fed so don't base your decision on that as there are no guarantees.

Above all, try and remember that in the grand scheme of things, how you feed your baby is really not that important. It can feel like everything in the early days but that wears off as they grow and you realise it's just a teeny tiny part of your journey as a parent.

My DS was exclusively breastfed until he was 4 months, he was hospitalised for being underweight. Abit of a mystery really, I stayed with him 24/7, they watched me feed - he'd latch on drink abit and latch straight off!! They never knew why, no allergies, no tongue tie - nothing.

I then pumped and bottle fed breast milk to him 1 minimal weight gain. My diet was fine, so no reason why there wouldn't be calories in the milk.

I moved on to combi feeding and the weight shot up and he was like a different, happy baby.

I'm pregnant again and I'll be combi feeding for the first 6 weeks. If all goes well I'll continue doing so but I plan to move onto formula around then if not.

**just my personal plan, I fully support babies who are FED no matter how.

Agree with @sinkGirl that pumping is the worst of both worlds. Unless you have a maternity nurse or a very attentive partner who is doing all the washing and sterilising for you.

I think I would wait and see too. Two of my children breastfed effortlessly and it was pure joy once we got the hang of it. The other two really struggled. Don’t put pressure on yourself, some babies just latch on, others don’t. Personally I’d start off with breastfeeding and move on to mixed feeding or formula if I was unhappy as it’s so hard to swap back if you start with bottles.

As an aside and can’t appreciate that some people feel the opposite, I felt that breastfeeding really calmed my anxiety - it was like all my worries would melt away when I started feeding! I really miss it for that reason.

Can not can’t!!!

Every new mum has a different experience of feeding so it's really hard to make a firm plan because there are usually unexpected factors. I did combined feeding with my first because I had to be away at work part time from him being 3 months old so I started that way from the beginning so he could be cared for while I was absent. I really struggled with the let down of my milk because I was tense (various reasons, I won't bore you) and I didn't understand it, so couldn't resolve it, (because though I asked around no one could tell me about it and the key thing for it to happen is to be relaxed! )
After 4 months of this my ds refused to try the breast and I was forced to go exclusively onto the bottle because he just found the bottle SO much easier (can't blame him ). I was not happy but that was that. Bottle feeding was more work, cleaning and sterilising, etc and going out was harder as had to prepare and be able to warm it etc etc.. but, if my let down had not been a problem it would have worked a treat and I could have had the best of both worlds.
That says, in answer to the supply question it is absolutely both frequency and volume that is taken from the breast which determines supply so for every bottle feed I did I had to pump etc, so you could say it is the worst of both worlds doing both... For me it would have been worth it because it meant I could be away from baby when I had to be (was given a room to pump in while I was away) but I could continue to breast feed. What I'm trying to say is that it is harder work doing both but worth it if it gives you an option that you otherwise wouldn't have. If you're doing it to get sleep it is probably not going to give you that solution because as another pp said you'll have to be awake anyway doing a pump to keep your supply up.
A lot of what you need to know can only be known when you're in it so I think you need to prepare yourself for making decisions as you go. Sorry if that is all garbled, on my phone so can't see what I've written properly for a decent edit.