Gender disappointment

[Sarahlovescoffee]

Firstly, I am so thankful that I am pregnant and the baby is healthy. Please please no judgements.
I have a daughter already (one year old) and went for a scan and was told it is a girl (18 weeks).
Two questions
1)based on the scan could it be wrong or is it definitely definitely a girl?
2) has anyone had gender disappointment? I feel so guilty for feeling this way :(
Firstly,

You are not at all terrible or stupid! Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm having my second girl but I am over the moon. I would prob have felt disappointed with a boy so I understand what you're feeling. It will be lovely for your dd to have a sister to go shopping with and be close to. Try to think of it that way

Sometimes you can be unsatisfied with your life whilst many people in the world can only dream of living your life.

I can't pretend that I understand about gender disappointment - there are so many people who would give anything to bring a healthy baby home no matter whether it was a boy or girl.

I think you have to look at the positives - you will have healthy siblings close in age who will hopefully grow up the best of friends

Seems like you don't have any fertility issues and you've already said you'd like 3 children so there is still chance to try for a boy if that is what you want

Thank you so much for all your replies. I feel so much better after reading them all. I think I need time to process it and put it in perspective- I have a healthy baby and that is the most important thing. Thank you all so much, your supportive messages mean a lot ❤️❤️❤️

I felt the same. I was convinced I was carrying a boy as the pregnancy was so different from my first, less nausea, way i was carrying etc was massively shocked at my 20week scan. I can honestly say, having two daughters close in age has been the biggest blessing. They are now 10 and 12 and are best friends most of the time lol. We have had the most fun over the years, they are my mini me’s. Can match their clothes, hairstyles, decorate bedrooms all girly, have shopping partners. This time next year, seeing your perfect little family you will know you’ve given your little one a best friend for life and wouldn’t have it any other way

Congrats OP!

Girls are great. I adore my mother now that the teen years are by me and I hope my daughter loves me as much I love my mother.

We're genuinely like best friends now. If life stresses me out, 10 seconds into chatting with her and I feel my mood lift! She done an awful lot for me and I hope I can repay her in years to come. Shes amazing!

Aw I completely understand. I had a boy first, and really really wanted a girl. I was so worried about the 20w scan as I thought I would feel disappointment if another boy, and then I would feel huge guilt. My emotions totally surprised me as when they said it was a boy I cried really genuine happy tears and thought how lovely it was for my son to have a playmate close in age. Honestly I've never regretted it.

@timewastingbutfun yes true, my daughter will have a best friend for life who she will be able to experience so much with ♥️

[quote Sarahlovescoffee]@damnyankee yes, my husband comes from a family of all girls... So we both wanted a boy. I know I sound so stupid. I am so so thankful the baby is healthy but can't shake this feeling... It feels awful :([/quote]
He can't possibly be from a family of all girls... 😁

@chubbyhotchoc congratulations on your second girl!! All the shopping trips together will be so nice. I guess I just need to be thankful that a healthy little girl is growing inside me

@00100001 hahha good point, except him! 😂😂😂

Sorry to hear you're disappointed OP. If it's any consolation I absolutely LOVED being one of three girls when I was growing up. I'm so close to my sisters and very glad that I didn't end up with a brother!

@Sarahlovescoffee - when I was pregnant I thought I wanted a boy. We didn't find out what we were having before birth and now have an amazing daughter who I wouldn't change for the world. We've been trying to conceive our second for 17 months with no success and it looks like DD will be an only child. I don't care if I have a boy or girl - I just want her to have a sibling. Take a moment to get over your disappointment and then focus on the fact you're having a healthy baby and that's the important thing. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well

@BabyMoonPie I am sorry to read that you have been trying for 17 months. You are right, I am very lucky to have conceived a second child. I understand that some mums would love to be in my position-my sister has been trying for one year for a first child so I understand how difficult it is for some.
Like I said, I just need to change my mindset and stop being selfish.
I hope you do manage to conceive again ❤️ xx

I had extreme gender disappointment when I was told DD2 was going to be a girl. I already had a girl and desperately wanted a boy (after having lost a boy in an earlier pregnancy).

Now that I have 2 DDs close in age, I wouldn't change it for the world! They are so lovely together and my heart melts everyday. I love having 2 girls!

It's ok to feel a little disappointed. But I would choose 2 girls over any other combination

Of course it's normal to feel stung when things don't go the way you want, but I would try to reassess your situation as quickly as possible. People get terrible news at scans, many women going through IVF would give anything to conceive either a boy or a girl. My husband wanted a girl, I didn't mind at all, and once the sonographer said that the baby was healthy and developing right that's all that mattered.

@Sarahlovescoffee - thank you. You're not being selfish, you're being human(and probably hormonal)!

OP gender disappointment is so real and shouldn’t have stigma but it does. When I found out this bump is “another boy” I was gutted. Firstly because I carry a blood clotting disorder that only affects males and secondly because I really thought it was a little girl. On reflection its also because I don’t have an amazing relationship with my mum and maybe I was hoping for that. We’ve since found out baby number 2 doesn’t have the blood disorder and feel very lucky. I think there will always be a little part of me that will long for a girl but that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for our second son and won’t love him with everything I’ve got. It gets easier as the weeks go on x

I was convinced I was having a girl. I told the sonographer to check again when she said it was a boy. Bit disappointed. But wouldn't change him.

I can so relate to this. My pregnancy was very unexpected and I spent a great deal of thinking before deciding to keep the baby. My husband and I were both hoping for a boy as we have 2 older girls. Plus I cannot really talk to him about my disappointment as he did not want to find out baby's sex until its birth, so I am sulking by myself. It's such a horrible feeling mixed in with self loathing, because of how I feel.
I am surprised to find out others feeling like this.

@lydial how many weeks are you? I was so happy how many women have been supportive on this thread, it seems gender disappointment is a real thing!! I don't think I am going to find out for our third (if we are lucky enough to conceive again) as I don't want to have all these feelings again.

I am nearly 17 weeks and still holding on to a foolish thought that they were wrong and by my 20 week scan the baby will grow a willy.I keep thinking of all of the sacrifices that we will be making for this baby and feel cheated of a son. I know it's bonkers as my girls are everything to me and how on earth should it matter to a normal person. But this is the kind of crazy thoughts that I have. If I read rubbish that I am writing written by someone else I honestly would have thought the woman is mad!

@lydial I understand what you mean. One part of you knows that it is irrational and silly as the most and only important thing is that there is a healthy baby, but the other part of you just wants it to be a boy. I have also been googling wrong gender on scans in the hope that it was wrong at the private scan... But judging from my scan on the original post, it definitely is a girl!! No willy and visible lines!

Just to give an update.
After having a few days to think about it, I am really really excited to have another little girl!! I have bought a few outfits online and am so excited for my daughter to have a little best friend for life.
Thank you so much for being kind and understanding, I know I am in an extremely lucky position and am so thankful I am pregnant, I think I just needed some time to get over it.
But yes, really really looking forward to meeting my gorgeous little girl... Only 21 weeks to go!! ❤️