NCT Essentials antenatal course - £121.55. Is it worth paying?

[DJBebe]

Hi all. Is it worth paying £121.55 for the online NCT basic course? My partner will probably be unable to attend due to work constraints so it would be only me.
I'm readying books on pregnancy and children development, also do my online research and talk with friends about their experiences.
Will the midwife not cover what the NCT course covers?

a mothers right to feed her child in the way that makes the most sense to her specific situation

That's exactly what fed is best isn't standing for

What is fed is best in comparison to? Starvation?

Why is a parent being praised for not abusing their child?

Should we start a new saying, 'Changed is best' in regards to cloth vs disposable nappies? As cloth nappies require an expensive first spend so not everyone can afford it?

What about 'slept is best' whether you keep your baby in your room for the first 6 months or not?

It's complete and utter nonsense.

@Gigitree Which is why the terms fed is best & breast is best are incorrect.
Informed is best.

There needs to be room for mums who want a relaxed approach to BF working out and those who need to be able to express grief without worrying about offering those who FF.

@SnuggyBuggy there's some good fb groups that support combi feeding.
I think we've learnt breast isn't best (informed is) so a relaxed approach is better.

The other thing surrounding bf vs ff is this country's appallingly bad bf rates.
This is why a lot use breast is best.
Fed is best is just as bad however.

@PatricksRum you’re just being obtuse and I think we’ve hijacked the OP’s thread for long enough now.

Thanks @2007Millie

To be fair you can't always predict how you will feel about feeding before you have a baby but it's worth some thought and trying to find the right support. If you feel the wrong way for the support group you've found yourself in that's hard and you might need to find a new one.

Anyway...I did the NHS course only and still met other people who were pregnant at the same time as me and made friends with them. You don't have to go on a paid for course to meet other mothers to be.

Thank you all. This has been very helpful.

What is fed is best in comparison to? Starvation?

Er... yes!

This thread has taken a real tangent. Personally, as someone who wont be able to breastfeed due to being prescribed medication straight after birth, I found the 'Fed is best' mantra quite comforting. But that is just my opinion.

In terms of NCT, I did a one day online essentials course, it was the NHS one (so free). While it was informative, if you are already doing your own reading etc I'm not sure you will get any more out of it. The social aspect never really took off for my group.

I did both NHS and NCT. As others have said, NCT content was laughable. Particularly around feeding and assisted birth (look up the recent thread called something like “1 in 3 FTMs have assisted delivery”, if you want more info). So I wouldn’t rely on NCT for information, certainly not as a sole source.

If you’re in London, also bear in mind that a lot of your NCT group might move house/country, it’s often a very transient population even in residential areas. Ours was very much a virtual friendship group for that reason, even before lockdown, and at times it felt more like colleagues for that reason.

For me personally, having given birth last year, I’d have skipped NCT in hindsight. The content was poor and I could have spent that time getting a massage/resting and we made just as good friends on the free NHS course and at local baby classes. However, if you had the money “spare” I’d do NCT now and view it as an expensive introduction to local parents in the same position, since other classes will be limited. Do check NCT are still doing groups by postcode though. Less useful if their online course put you in a group with people from across the UK - you have MN for that!

Whatever you do, it’ll be a wild but magical ride and you will figure it out.

On “fed is best” - I also found it comforting, having first read it on here as a FTM with BF problems.

It’s impossible to describe the angst and guilt that can completely take over in those first newborn days when feeding isn’t going as you had expected (as NCT had indoctrinated you is “right”). It became an all-consuming panic almost, thinking about/doing the feeding. Like the feeling you get in those dreams where you have to sit a surprise exam unprepared, feeling that all day every day on top of being so very tired. Add to that. all the guilt that you’ve somehow failed and it’s only day 2. Guilt that is reinforced with tiny comments “oh did I see a bottle in the corner of that pic you sent?”. Postpartum hormones being what they are, no rational reassurance will do at the start. So clinging on to those three little words “fed.is.best” through all that fog saved me. Saved everyone’s sanity at home. It certainly had its uses for me, calmed me, and I did BF in the end at my own pace.

If you can't meet other people due at the same time then I don't see so much value in NCT.

I would suggest doing some sort of class though. They tell you about what can go wrong which we hadn't paid much attention to as I was very low risk normal pregnancy. I was planning a very hippie water birth.
Failed induction, failed epidural and emergency c section later I was glad that they had talked us through what would happen and especially DPs role as advocate.

I’ll be brutally honest with you - nah!

We paid just under 200 quid for ours and we just finished our last session yesterday! We still have our breast feeding sessions to go though.

The video picture quality is shit so you all have to turn your camera and mic off so the leader isn’t a broken up robot. And then if you want to speak you turn it back on and you inevitably speak over someone or interrupt them!

It’s dead clunky and awkward IMO! Also it’s really hard to make an impression! If you’re a bit awkward like I am it’s just impossible to get a connection with people over a screen! You try and make a joke and he light hearted and it’s a frigging tumbleweed cos everyone’s got their mic and screen turned off so you have no idea if people laughed or you’ve just offended every fibre of their being!

In terms of knowledge I’ll be brutally honest, I read the Positive Birthing Book and a few others and there was hardly anything the course leader told me I didn’t already know!!

Meeting people was my main aim too but I’m gonna have to rely on mum and baby groups once things get less crazy cos I’m not feeling any of these parents at all I’m afraid... maybe be different if/when we meet up face to face but 🤷‍♀️

We’re going to do the NCT course, supplemented by some at the hospital. FTM here.

I have low/middling expectations but hoping it means we will meet some local people (fairly new to the area, and don’t know many people with young kids). Our course is £275 though, so if the content is as crap as some have suggested up thread, then I’m certainly happy to ask for a refund!

@whatwouldpennydo that’s the bloody issue!

Refunds are seeming hard to come by and if you start the course but don’t fish it you (understandably I guess) don’t get all your money back!

Some women have apparently even said they’ve not been allowed refunds at all if it’s just because it’s “not as good as in real life” but the content is exactly the same... 🤷‍♀️

I did the course when I moved to a new area and didn’t know anyone. All these years later some of the women are my best friends. For me it was worth it but you can’t guarantee who will be on your course with you. I do think that baby and toddler groups won’t be resuming for a long time, so you could find you are very lonely with a newborn and without a local network, so bear that in mind as well.

I did both glad I did NCT as only did 1 wk of NHS due to prematurity. And even for the NHS one I had to very proactive in sorting it myself, the MW was used to doing it via a different hospital. (further away then the one I used.). The NCT one was in my home town, the NHS one wasn,t. (But the one the mw would have suggesrted would have been in a further away town.)

We have booked mainly to build a network. I hope it will help us find some local friends as we are new to the area :)

Ive found this post very informative (aside from the disputes over breastfeeding). I had suspected that the main thing you get out of these courses is the friendships and connections. Im really disappointed to be missing out on that as i dont know anyone in the area where i now live. It doesnt seem worth paying for the course while it remains online only.

@EveningReflection if it helps we have just finished our course online and made some good connections with local people, there were five couples on the course and we are all in about a three mile radius of each other. We have a private WhatsApp chat and the mums (to be) are planning to meet as soon as we can. I’d not discount it outright if you want to meet people locally despite the format at the moment, I think the WhatsApp chat will be a god send when we are all up doing night feeds, have hard to settle babies etc in a few weeks.

Absolutely. It’s more than just this course. It’s access to so much more, plus the group you do the course with. Thousand times better than the class run through GP