Ante-Natal Depression - is anyone else not feeling good?

[EllieG]

Hello anyone - someone gave me a link to a thread on this which was wonderful, it was like reading my thoughts, but it stopped in April. Is anyone finding it hard going at the moment?

Some days I am finding it so hard to function, just getting going is difficult enough and my home life is suffering...DP and I are bickering, I cry at anything, can't concentrate at work, and so unhappy. I have had episodes of depression before and am so scared of it returning, which it seems to be. I have talked to my DP, who is being lovely, but am scared of him getting fed up with me. My GP has cut down my AD's as am PG, and am scared.

Feel very vulnerable at the moment and was wondering if there was anyone else out there feeling the same? Or if anyone has got through this and can give me some pointers?

Thanks paranoid -
my mum was just 70 too - when I called 999 they got me to try and rescuitate her - I felt like she'd gone already, but had to give it a go - was all quite traumatic, as just me and 1yr old in the house.

Now have had some bleeding, may be having a miscarriage, and despite doubts about the baby, I now feel really upset, and all me and dp do is argue, I feel nothing but anger and resentment towards him these days.

Sometimes I feel so down, but luckily my dd is an excellent distraction from how I'm feeling.

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry to those who are coping with bereavement, it must be so hard. My grandad died when I was about 3 months, we weren't close at all (long story) but I was surprised how hard it I was. To lose your mum, I can't imagine...

Take care x

Hi everyone,

as no-one has posted for a few days I hope that everyone is starting to feel a bit happier this weekend.
I'm now 10 +5 and am finding that i'm starting to have more good days than bad which is great both for me and dh. Anyone else finding that the further along they are they feel a bit better??

good vibes to you all

Hey positive - am having a good weekend too, glad you are. For some reason feel pretty chilled and happy - not sure why, but just feeling thankful that I do! Think going to see my therapist this week helped.
Had a lovely dream last night that I had a special scan and I could see right inside and saw my baby moving and smiling (though I don't think he can yet!) and was so happy, woke up feeling all cheery.
Long may it last - I am going to make a big effort to try and chill at work this week and try not to fret about it so much. Not sure how well that will work out, but can but try.

Glad to hear you've been feeling quite good Ellie and Positive. Hope it stays that way for you.

Lightwind are you still there? how are you going now?

Thanks for putting me onto this list Ellie, its probably the best place for me at the moment. Its been interesting reading.

On the subject of AD's I've been taking them for so long that I really don't think they're doing what they used to and they do nothing for the extreme anxiety that developed during the last pregnancy and miscarriage. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I'll ask about changing but its probably not a good time to stop and start?

I'm still feeling very low and sometimes I cry alot, especially on days when the lower back pain is really bad, like today.

Sorry to hear that Missworry - I have found that my AD's have needed altering with PG as with the hormones flying around they were less effective than usual - sounds like a good plan to talk to you psych. I am going to see my therapist again today, am seeing her weekly at moment cos am so up and down, and it really helps me.
Have spoken to your GP about your back pain? It sounds like it's really worrying you xxx

still feeling low. Hard to explain more a feeling of nothingness, I'm not crying or anxios or anything just bored bored bored but totally unmotivated to do anything at all.

I have no positive feelings towards this pregnancy and am tired of having to answer all the pregnancy questions people ask with a fake smile. I don't care about it I would love it to all disapear

I'm so cross to be feeling this way again having come through pnd.

I know I need to see the doctor but I keep thinking this will go away.

oh bugger

It might go away by itself, but is more likely to go if you get some help perhaps? Went to see my therapist again today and that, coupled with increased AD's, is meaning am having some good days. Having a tough time now doesn't necessarily mean that you will have PND, but is always good to explore options for support x

I had AND with number 3, having had PND with the first two, and my GP then wouldn't give me ADs. I was fine for a while after DS2 was born but are just finishing Ads after 12 months of being on them. Ds2 is 2 now.

Hope things improve for you.

Hi everyone,

so much for feeling good for a few days jsut feel miserable today.
my nausea seems to be not so bad over the past few days and then today I wretched that much I was sick 3 times
Went to my dr as i've been off work due to my tiredness and she kept me off work for another 2wks which I didn't expect. worried that i'm not coping too well as I had a mmc at 11 +6 and i'm 11 wks today - dr wants me to have my 12wk scan before I go back. Think i'll go nuts being off so long, wont know what to do with the time off.

Sorry thats turned into a bit of a moan.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts xx

Hey positive, sorry you are not feeling so good. Try not to worry about having time off - when I am off work I try and organise things for myself that give me a mistuxe of either a sense of acheievement or pleasure, so raising my mood and distracting myself. When I have been really low, this might just have been managing to get up and get dressed (acheivement) and watch TV (pleasure) , but sometimes I went for walks, or read books, or visited people. Try not to give yourself too much to do, as you are very tired and if you don't manage to get much done you don't want ot be beating yourself up about it. If you can't manage anything but slob around a bit chilling at home, that's fine, view it as an activity that you want and have planned to spend time doing, if you see what I mean, and don't worry about it.
Probably am not making too much sense, but just trying to say, do what you can do, try some stuff as can help, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up.
Thinking of you.
Feeling a bit crap myself today. Very tired and can't concentrate on work as mood a bit crap.

Sorry you're not feeling so good positive, you sound very tired and the sickness won't be helping (believe me I know how bad it makes you feel) Don't think twice about taking time off you need it.

I had a consultant's appointment today to go over my previous birth problems and it was a totalk waste of time, saw some guy who wasn't the consultant who hadn't got my notes so couldn't tell me anything about what had happened when ds was born, just kept saying "it's no problem it will be fine" I couldn't understand his accent and he just kept saying stupid things like "be happy and baby be happy, you cry baby cries" WTF!?

Oh well atleast instead of down I feel angry instead - it's good to broaden your emotions

Ellie and CT,

thanks for listening to my moaning - just fell miserable after having several good days
over the weekend. Was sick again this morning - I just hope that this is just a blip and wont continue.
On a positive note my laundry basket is empty today - washing machine has been red hot this morning - just have all the ironing to do but i've decided to only iron what I need and leave the rest.

hope everyone is well

thanks for listening xx

Well done for getting all your washing done, just doing bits here and there helps keep on top of things.

I think the problem is when we have blips we get so stressed thinking "Is this just an off day or the start of something more long term?" It's hard to trust your judgement on your emotions once you've had depression. I forget that before I had PND there were plenty of days where I had no motivation or felt snappy or down and that was just part of life. Now I'm like "I want to lie on the sofa and do nothing today Oh god the depressions back because I can't be arsed to do anything"

The state of my house and laundry basket was actually more shocking before children than it is now I guess it's about trying to keep perspective.

anyway won't waffle on. Keep posting I think this is a really helpful thread

Hello everyone...

I've recently discovered ante-natal yoga. All I can say is WOW.

Went for my second class yesterday evening (very nearly didn't go bec was feeling a bit sick)and came home and slept like a baby last night - I'm nearly 20 weeks and this is only the second full night's sleep I've had in my pregnancy so far. Every other night has been peppered by frequent trips to the loo, hunger, insomnia, horrid pelvic pain... and last night wasn't. Wow.

Its worth giving it a try if you can find a class locally - if you live in South London I can point you in the right direction. I feel like a new person today. And that just has to be good for baby.

I'm a lazy so and so even when I'm not pregnant, but I must admit, yoga has helped me deal with depression in the past as well.

lightwind

CT - you really hit the nail on the head for me there - I feel I am so sensitive to low mood now have been depressed, and it really panics me as I SO don't want to feel that horrid again, but forgetting that it is possible to have a crap day but then wake up and the next one be OK, and it's not a the slippery slope to depression if you have one or two bad days.

lightwind - glad you mentioned that about yoga, there is actually one held downstairs from where I live (above a community centre thing) which I was wondering about being helpful. I can't join til 14 weeks (about 11 now) but think I defo will after hearing your positive experiences there. Have also signed up for ante-natal aqua aerobics thing, which am looking forward to. One of the things that has been getting me down has been doing less exercise, as not had the energy, so will be nice to have stuff to do that won't take it out of me too much, and gives me a bit of 'me' time.

Sorry for waffling about me - love to all of you x

hi lightwind,

where's the south london yoga class? i have been meaning to start going to one in streatham

tips appreciated

Hi everyone,

Well after doing nothing all afternoon (only posting a bit of a 'I feel sorry for myself' on MN earlier) i'm feeling alot better. Cant believe making the decision to leave my ironing to another day and putting my feet up all afternoon could make such a difference, would recommend it to anyone.

Really is good being able to share how I feel with people who have been or are in a similar situation.
Again thanks for listening.

Hi all

The South London yoga classes are in Balham -so not far from Streatham - one's on Tues evening, and the other is on Saturday afternoon.

Email the teacher, Easter Bonnifield for more info. She's lovely.

[email protected]

or visit her website

www.dakinis.co.uk/antenatal.html

You're right, in that you do need to wait until you're past the 14th week - but its deffo worth doing.

lightwind (hoping for another night's blissful sleep)

Ellie i'm glad someone else can relate to not being able to see there emotions in perspective sometimes. I think it would be usefull to find a way of resolving that so you could be at peace with yourself on days that you don't feel like doing anything or feel down in the dumps without reading it as a sign of depression.

I've been thinking about it alot today and I can see that I definately confuse boredom with depression somedays. Lets face it being a full time SAHM can be a tad repetative and not being able to get excited or motivated about housework doesn't mean your depresssed does it? Like I've said I've never been houseproud so why should that personality trait change just because I'm at home full time.

hmmm sorry I'm waffling again but I really think this is something i would like to get clear in my head.

Anyway well done positive for deciding not to do anything this afternoon and allowing yourself to enjoy it.

I think you're right CT about confusing boredom/depression - I do the same with work, whenever I get a bit stressed there(which people do sometimes don't they) I panic that I am not coping and that it's all downhill, when maybe all that it is is a bad day.

Well done lightwind for blowing off the ironing and doing something to relax yourself. I took a leaf out of your book this afternoon - have been really tired and a bit stressy this week at work, as doing long hours, so I took a couple of hours off this afternoon before I had to pick the LO up and went home. Nearly did loads of chores, but then thought, bugger it, they aren't going anywhere and I need a rest. So laid down to do some meditation, but before I knew it was asleep . Not so good for karma but I think I needed it. Am on call tonight so at least it means if I get called out am a bit rested. Having said that, the idea of having to go out is making me want to cry a bit.

Hi Ellie,

hope you didnt have to go out last night after all.
Its great having a sleep in the afternoon esp when you dont think you need one - almost seems a bit naughty.
I've kept myself busy most of the day yesterday, doing my garden (with the help of my dad) which was great , the sun was shining even if it was a bit cold. Had lunch and then went shopping with my dad, bless him. Have to admit at 5pm I was so tired I lay down for what was meant to be 1/2hr but ended up being 1 1/2hrs. So it was take-out for dinner - really healthy!!!

hope everyone has a good day today,
positive thoughts.

Sounds like a good day positive!

Didn't have to go out but couldn't sleep so knackered today. Never mind, is friday and I am getting a chinese tonight so that's nice.

Have a good day everyone x

afternoon everyone

CT, how are you today?
Missworry havent heard from you for a while hope all is well.

Well after a very proactive day yesterday I have managed to tidy up my garden shed today. I feel great and can now put my feet up if I want.

Before this week I was writing to-do lists the length of my arm and getting nothing finished which was getting me down/depressed. But since deciding to only have one/two tasks a day i/m getting loads more done - silly things like washing kitchen floor every day - we have 2 dogs running in/out of the kitchen. Before getting nothing finished made me feel a failure and all I wanted to sit and do nothing then got bored which made me depressed. So was I bored or depressed?

Now no matter how small my task is for the day I feel so much better that I get it done and I really feel I have achieved something. The past few days have really made me realise how I feel is alot to do with my attitude and I dont need to get everything finished at once - this is now the 3rd day my ironing is still in the basket and so what!

So positive thoughts, positive thoughts and give yourself permission to put your feet up and enjoy doing nothing

Hi Ellie and positive you both sound like you are doing well. Not a bad day here either have tackled the housework upstairs and the laundry and want to do the kitchen before ds wakes up [may need to get of mn first!]

Cooked a really nice meal last night so feel inspired to get back into proper cooking for the first time since i fell pregnant. Am going to surprise dh with Slow roasted lamb shanks and roasted veg. yummy!
Although chinese sounds even better ellie!