I smoke. I'm Pregnant, I need to stop. I need to know what damage I have already done.

[needtostop]

I am 24 weeks pregnant.

I used to smoke 15 - 20 a day.

I'm now smoking between 2 and 8 a day.

I have had a few days where I have smoked as many as 10-12.

I need to know how much damage I might have done to the baby?

Could I have already of made him ill.

Ive just been in so much denial but really really want to stop.

Can I use patches?

If I stop now could I turn things around or is it too late?

Chocolatepeanut - yes, it does hit a nerve. I'm crying and rightly so.

I'm so SO sorry for your loss and you have every right to be and , I epitomise the people you probably hate who take their babies health for granted.

I am pathetic, I accept that. I actually do that tummy prodding thing to check he is still ok because from the start I have been convinced he wont be.

Oh I dont know, it just makes no sense.

I have finished the Allan Carr book and whilst I do think I would have probably benefitted from the longer read it does all make absolute total sense.

It all came round too quickly, I read it cover to cover in the bath and then all of a sudden he is telling me to smoke my last cigarette NOW and congratulating me on being a non smoker.

Soooooooooooooooo I have 1 cigarette left, havent smoked my last one yet as I dont feel like it - I probably will have it tonight just so its done IYSWIM and then thats that.

A little bit scared TBH but every time that thought creeps in I have to remind myself that I am not giving anying up, I (and my precious baby) only have gains to look forward to.

Today, I bought some baby clothes, I havent really done much preparation really probably because I struggle to connect to baby because of the denial Im in but Im ready to let him in and let nicotine out.

I would like to apologise to anyone who has been upset by this thread and thank everyone for the input xxx

You've done a very brave thing by asking for peoples help on here. Congratualtions on being a non-smoker. Think of it as a new start. Well done.

Sounds like the book you have was very brief NTS. When I finished easyway I knew for absolute definate that I would never want another cigarette, I hope you have that feeling.

If not, the offer still stands of a loan (I am trustworthy and honestly want to help!) You can mail me at the address somewhere further down and I'll post it to you tomorrow no probs. Not being pushy, just been there and know a way to solve your crisis.

As I said I smoked during my second pg despite being disgusted with myself. I remember going for a scan and they were worried about my placenta & her size. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. How could I be so selfish.

I have every confidence that you will stop x

sunshinegirl, i think maybe i wil take you up on your offer but cant find your email address

will you really not out me, you may not recognise me anyway, im not v v v v reg post just been here a long time

Hi, just so you know, SG's email is [email protected] . It was about a third of the way down.

about to go to bed so haven't read full thread, apologies for any duplication. Unlikely you've done any real damage so far, however, every day you cut down/stop, you're giving your baby a better chance of being healthy. I know there are probably lots of people telling you "you're pregnant, just stop" but if they're not smokers, they won't understand what you are going through. Try imagining you lose your baby/your baby is born ill. Then someone tells you it's because you smoked. Harsh, but possibly true. Just picture that in your mind every time you want to light up. If you still want a cigarette, your choice, but think through the consequences. Worked for me......

Wow that must of been a really short book. I second sunshine on that one. I too knew it was my last cig and I didn't feel scared at all, I felt excited. The whole point of the book is to get rid of that fear. I think you need to read the full book, its longer more info and because you read it over the course of a few days or a week you can really prepare for that last cigarette the info has more time to sink in.

I can remember having nightmares almost everynight after stopping, id dream that id started smoking again and I felt awful. I would feel so relieved when id wake up and realise it was just a dream.

Good luck. Hope your a happy non smoker soon.

Good Luck to the OP and well done for posting on here. I really hope that you manage to stop and the book is a really great start - as is enlisting the support online of mnetters. But please also enlist some real life - person to person support; whatever guise that comes in as face to face is unbeaten.

I used to be a social smoker when younger and one day i realised my 2-3 on a night out were starting to encroach into the week during breaks - i.e after work beers, then into a 4pm coffee break. So I stopped. And even at that early stage, it was really difficult. I found that certain things were triggers for me and they made me want a cigarette more. Coffee and beer bizarrely enough were the 2 main ones, so I cut those out completely too. Had peppermint tea/ soft drinks instead for a while and it really helped. I also stopped sitting/ would move away from my smoker friends - with the smoking ban in place, this shouldnt be too much of any issue for you.

Good luck to you - I really hope you manage to do this for the sake of yourself and your unborn child.

Stay strong - you can do this.
xx

NTS, sorry didn't reply last night, was sooo tired had to crash out early!

You honestly don't need to worry, I have no reason whatsoever to want to "expose" your identity to anyone, I promise.

Going to work this morning but if you mail me your address ohsmellyjellyat googlemaildotcom I will post it this afternoon when I get back.

x

I am a big fan of the Allen Carr book (only takes a few hours to read). Also think you should get yourself to a hypnotherapist. You have nothing to lose by going, lots to gain. The hypnotherapy might help take away the craving which is the only problem you have to overcome. Carrying on will potentially lead to lots of other problems and your stress levels with worrying about all of this throughout your PG will go sky-high.

good luck

My mum smoked throughout her pregnancy with me. Although I love her to distraction, I must be honest and say that I have always held this fact against her, and wondered what sort of damage it might have done me. Would I be taller now, more intelligent, more creative? I will never know. I guess at least in those days (late 60's) people didn't know how bad smoking was. But in your case there's no excuse.

stop smoking now, no excuse, its not your life you messing with anymore.

I think NTS knows that, hence her coming here for help and advice. Perhaps instead of slating her - she already feels crap enough -we could be supportive and encouraging?

Not proud, but I smoked during my third pregnancy. Something I hate to admit. I didn't smoke at all when pregnant with my first two. My husband was in the process of leaving me - although it took until 11 weeks after the birth for him to actually leave me - mentally not physically - that took another 9 months for him to physically go.

Anyway, I stopped smoking for 9 years, went through bad patch with husband and started again - always seemed to be my crutch. Then fell pregnant, vowed to stop "tomorrow", 9 months later still smoking. Excuse being - going through very bad time with husband and can't cope with the thought of bringing up 3 children as a single mum - which I am now doing.

Although I smoked whilst pregnant and I can't forgive myself for this, my youngest was born with a genetic chromosone disorder - I hasten to add not caused through smoking - just a one-off genetic mutation. When she was having tests, I told all the specialists that I smoked whilst pregnant and had this caused it. They tell me no, but 5 years later I still wonder whether my smoking caused this syndrome.

That is something I have to live with every day when I see her struggling - although to be honest she is not struggling that much any more. She has sotos syndrome which causes overgrowth and delayed development. Has many hospital appointments - audioglogy, ENT, eye hospital (used to suffer from recurrent cysts - thankfully clear for 18 months or so now), physiotherapy, occupational therapy.

Every time I take her for an appointment I ask myself "did smoking cause this". Although all the specialists say it did not, how do I know for sure that this is true.

I know it is very hard but if I had thought for a moment what I was putting my youngest through, I would have gone through the withdrawal - feeling angry, tearful, etc. - rather than see my youngest face the struggles that she has and still does.

havent read all replies as people are about !

i will catch up asap

but just wanted to say

JESUS this is hard, thought it wasnt supposed to be hard when you do it the allan carr way?

definitely think that that book was too short

bumble - that is so sad. I am sure that the smoking wasnt to blame - after all it's a genetic disorder, and I don't think cigarettes go that far. (hug)

NTS - have you stopped? It IS hard - that is the point - but hopefully you are armed with some tactics to help you cope now.

Remember - if you put it off for another day / week / month, giving up isn't going to be any easier. But the worst will be over in a couple of days. Stay strong!!

I have stopped yes, had last one this morning as i couldnt bring myself to have it last night after reading book.

I will admit, Im wobbling but reading bumbly's story is helping!

NTS I think you need the proper book

Just emailed you NTS

How's it going NTS? I know several people who ried allan carr and it worked, so good luck.

I gave up smoking when I was pregnant with DS1 (although had a few at Christmas) and then started again when he was about 5 months old - don't ask me why - but all I can think of was that I didn't really think of myself as a non-smoker, so always assumed at the back of my mind that I would start again, even though I never really verbalised it.

What made me stop was my MIL being diagnosed with lung cancer. She had smoked for about 20 years but had given up 30 years previously - she was about 78. Even then it wasn't the thought that "Oh god, I could get cancer and die," it was more the fact that I couldn't possibly smoke in front of my DH when his mother was dying as a result of smoking. He always hated me smoking and I never smoked in the house, just on nights out and hanging out of the back door at home.

However something inside me just clicked, i suppose. i remember a few weeks after I'd given up we went out to a friend's 40th party, and in such an environment I assumed I'd give in and accept a fag if someone offered me one (I have never had any willpower), but funnily enough I didn't. When I was offered a cigarette I just said "No thanks, I've given up," and that was it. No-one pressed me any more (Don't know if I was happy about that or not!)

Then shortly afterwards I found I was pregnant with DS2, and so I wasn't going to start again then.

When I was 6 mo pregnant with DS2, MIL passed away. And that was that. I just thought of myself of a nonsmoker. I accepted I wasn't going to start again after DS2 was born - after seeing the pain my MIL's death caused to DH and his family, it would have been like a slap in the face (My SIL still smokes though!)

And because I'd started to see myself as a non-smoker, I was a non-smoker. Now I can't imagine ever smoking again and can't believe that I ever did (It's been 4 yrs since my last ciggie.)

I know it's not like that for every quitter, and I wasn't a big smoker really, although I had been smoking for 20 yrs. And I know that even though I've given up, there's still a fairly substantial chance I'll contract lung cancer at some stage.

However, if my MIL hadn't given up at age 45, she would probably have been dead by 60. As it was, she lived till 79, saw innumerable grandchildren born and suffered for a realtively short period. We don't feel robbed by her death, as we might have done if she'd been 20 years younger.

Hope it goes well for you, NTS, it's bloody hard and you are making an amazing and life-affirming choice to be a nonsmoker.

Needtostop. Your doing well. Remember it only gets easier as time goes on not harder. If you do find you have a cigarette (which I hope and am sure you wont) then I would strongly recommend buying the full Allen Carr book. I can assure you it will not be hard. I do think that book was far to short but you have still stopped which is great and is you can keep going then thats fantastic!! Hope all is well.

Need To Stop. Hope you have kept your chin up today and are feeling strong. I know how hard it is to give up. During my pregnancy I gave up for the first 5 months and then slowly started to smoke the occasional fag which progressed to the point of fairly heavy smoking during the start of my labour. I tried hypnotherapy (twice) and Allen Carrs books but nothing seemed to help me give up for good. Like you I struggled so much knowing the potential damage I was doing to my baby yet still I found myself reaching for a ciggie. The humiliation of standing in corners and facing walls so no-one would see me and judge me for what I was - a weak willed heaviliy pregnant woman. My baby was born 6ib 6oz which isn't tiny but I still wonder whether the size was directly linked to my smoking and am permanently worried that we are going to discover something wrong with my beautiful girl which as yet has not surfaced.
Please give it your best shot - I am willing you on from afar. Good Luck

Needtostop, now you've stopped, it might be a thought to change your name to Havestopped or something like that. Send a message to everyone that you've done it (harder to go back to it) and also sending a message to your subconscious, every time you use the name, that you really have stopped.

Willing you on. Good luck xx

I have a copy of Allen Carr's Easy Way to stop smoking, if you'd like it?

I gave up last year, and I'll happily post it to you if that will help. If you can read it in a week, I think it would work for you.... but make yourself read it (there's a point in the book where it's very easy to put it down and stop reading altogether)

email if kekouan @ hotmail.com if you want it.

Good luck!!!

OK - I've read the rest of the post and I see you've already stopped! :-D

Well - if anybody else would like the book, please let me know!