Pregnancy insults and weird questions

[Oldestchild90s]

Just wondered if anyone has had any of these?

So far i've had:

1- Disappointment that i'm having a baby girl

2- Asked if i had IVF (a weird one considering i'm 27 and the person doesn't really know my life to ask such random things)

3- A colleague told me if she had red haired kids she would send them back and be really upset (i'm a red head and was gobsmacked 😂)

Anyone care to add?

I had, from my HR manager:

“Was it an accident? You just don’t strike me as being very maternal.”

“Yes. I woke up in the night, went to get up for a glass of water, and tripped and fell on a penis.”

FFS.

Random stranger yesterday - 'You don't look like you have long to go', I am 31 weeks......

The obligatory - 'Are you sure its not twins'

And most upsettingly - 'Anyone who doesn't breast feed is very selfish' - WTF!

@SnoozyLou I hate those Penis falls! 😂

Oh yes the 'but you have never really mentioned babies, you're not maternal' one!

Oh i had another good one 'oh you're having a girl, will she wear pink because you're not that girly?' WTF?

I had an elderly lady see me in hospital and asked if I was still with the Dad!
The one that gets me most is my sister keeps calling me fatty ...it’s really bothering me

Why is asking about ivf an insult?

"that must have been a shock"
Um, no, I'm 37 I know how sex works

Oh yes and asking if I'm going to get rid of my cat. Wtf

"You can tell you're pregnant it's all in your face"

After telling my sister and mother I'm having an ELCS after my EMCS last time I got "I don't think you'd be able to handle an actual birth anyway..." Do they not realise I was in labour before my c section?

@GrumpyHoonMain
Ah i knew there would be one, hence the 'weird questions' bit added to the topic subject 😀

It's not an insult but it's not the first thing i'd ask someone if they told me they were expecting, i'm more of a 'congratulations' kind of woman!

The red head one omg Some people have no tact! I suddenly feel very grateful that I haven’t really had any comments, although I haven’t really been out much - was initially too unwell to socialise and now with covid I’m stuck inside. The only comment we had was from my DM if it was planned - I rolled my eyes and ignored that. But if it was from someone else it would have been much ruder!

I think I have been quite luck as I'm 36 weeks with DC1, and I haven't received most of these kinds of comments. I am not an affectionate person, which has thankfully stopped anyone even trying to touch my bump, except for DH obviously.

I do have a friend who keeps preaching about how amazing I will feel after birth and how I wont believe what my body can do in labour, how I no longer matter and its all about the baby blah blah blah. I switch off when she speaks now as I've heard the same lecture many times.

DH also has a female colleague, who is the person he is closet to at work, who openly said in front of me how she wasn't looking forward to the baby arriving as he would become boring and not attend as many work events, and that he would be letting her down as a friend for our baby. She then continued to say that she would probably be happy for us when the baby arrives, but isn't currently feeling it.

I've had "was it planned" from everyone from DH's family to work colleagues to random family friends. This baby could not have been more planned and wanted but that doesn't make that question ok.

The other thing I hate is people constantly doing the "just you wait" thing.
• "I'm tired" - "oh you think you're tired now? Just wait till baby's born!"
• "I wonder what I should make for tea" - "oh just wait, you'll be so busy feeding the baby you'll get used to eating all your meals cold!"
• "We watched a film today" - "oh you wait, you'll never have a second to yourself ever again!"

Like yes, I get it, it's hard work. But still please do fuck off! (Also these kind of comments from people who don't even have kids??!! Double fuck off!!)

"Was it planned?"
In a whisper, "did you have treatment?"
"You're huge!"
"Are you sure it's not twins?"

MIL: "at least you had him the proper way"

Straight after "you'll be having another one soon then?" I usually met that one with a swift fuck off.

Really looking forward to all the lockdown jokes and nudges when we let people know I'm pregnant.

I can’t believe how rude some of these people are!
@Mucklowe that really made me laugh though.

From work colleagues who I barely know I’ve had “was it planned?” Why would you ever ask that?!

Hopefully we can all continue to ignore them and laugh it off.

Not many people know of mine yet as I'm just over 9 weeks however my boss when I told him (had to as risky environment in the current climate and I'm high risk of miscarriage as it is because of health issuss) said "of course... let's face it you are no spring chicken" 😂😂😂 I'm 36. Although this didnt upset me but made me laugh and helped that he understood why I had to be careful.

Wow! People are so rude! I think being trapped in lockdown since I started showing properly has saved me from anything similar.
Very few people have even seen the bump.

My OH has no tact or filter whatsoever though so I've nearly punched him a few times when he's made a remark about what I'm eating or the size of my backside

I like the wandering eyes, when you announce you're pregnant and they immediately look down at your stomach to analyse your size then say oh yeah i did notice you were getting bigger.

I didn't mind strangers telling me 'not long left for you' because they seemed genuinely trying to make pleasant conversations

About a week after DD was born, I did have lots of people ask when the next one would be coming. Which is absolutely insane

When I was pregnant with DS I had a colleague who always used to go on about how "huge" I was, especially compared to her sister who was also pregnant but due before me. She was way bigger pre pregnancy than I was at full term so not sure where she got that from. Even though, yes, I did put on 4 stone, it used to wind me up massively. DS was actually a small baby.

This time I didn't start noticeably showing until about 20 weeks then I popped a little bit and got "is it twins" etc I was thinking, ffs I'm not even that big yet 🙄 am glad I'm off work at the moment cos no doubt I'd be getting more comments about how big I am despite this baby measuring small too!

I really do not understand the "was it planned" question, I think it's just so weird. I would and have never asked anyone this question no matter how close we are. It's pretty much asking if you were shagging hoping to actually get pregnant or if you were shagging just for fun!

I got loads of comments. 2 that stick:

My husband was having a go at a man in huge American style jeep thing that was parked in middle of 4 child spaces meaning no spaces left. He had no car seats in vehicle...
DH... Look mate you've got no kids and are taking up 4 kids spaces. My wife has just had to get out of car before we parked as needs extra space and is struggling to walk so needs to be close...
Driver:*&£k off.. Etc etc
Passing man trying to be helpful: 'come on don't be a twat... Can't you see she is huge'
🙄😳😱

First pregnancy early labour being monitored as 10 days over and reduced movements....
Young grandmother walks past and says to her daughter in next bed..... 'should see the lady in the next curtain... She is huge... All bump... Wouldn't want to deliver that... Talk about slow and painful'
Me: I'm not deaf you know!
She didn't have the balls to apologise...

I love my Mum to bits and she is a nice person but her tact filter is zero.

I bought her a luxury manicure for her birthday (and myself one too so we could sit together and chat) in December and when I sat next to her she exclaimed "bloody hell you're huge Prinnypree" at the size of my bump, had to explain to the shocked beauticians I was indeed pregnant (although less than 20 weeks at the time)

Recently she told me over skype, "gosh you've put alot of weight on your face".... me "yeah, thanks Mum" (as if I hadn't noticed) her slightly protesting me obviously taking that as a bit of an insult, "I'm just worried Prinnypree, don't worry its probably just water weight, you'll lose it all anyway with breast feeding"

Had the "is it twins" thing alot too at work, (no its not) I did get a bump very early and put on a stone per trimester. My BMI was 25 when I conceived (26 by my 9 week appointment) and I'm 35 weeks and 32 pounds heavier now (which doesn't seem to abnormal) but because of comments I feel like a bit of a whale.

Also doesn't help my chart has my tummy measurements well over the 90th percentile...

Oh the classic, "you're not ill, your only pregnant" no...I know I'm not f-ing ill but all I can think of right now is puking up down your face 😂

Also had the "are you hoping for a girl this time". We didn't find out what the baby will be (didn't with DS either) because we genuinely have no preference at all and people seem to find it so weird.

And the in laws and grandparents "we're keeping everything crossed for a boy, its make so and so really happy if it was a boy" which is exactly why I am not finding out till the birth what we are having

My DS2 was born this January. DS1 is 5 so a bigger age gap than I wanted but I've had fertility issues, I had the following questions:

-Was is planned? You've got such big age gap, we're you only intending on having one? It usually shut them up when I told them I needed a laparoscopy in order to conceive, thanks for your interest ☺️
-Wow, you're huge/you've got a little bump. On the same day.
-Oh it's another boy, that's a shame. No it fucking isn't.
-I bet you end up trying for a girl next time. No I won't.
-Are you going to give birth to this one properly this time? I had an EMCS with DS1, this was asked by my own mother.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and just give shitty responses and blame it on pregnancy hormones 😊