How many godparents?

[LouisaPipSqueak]

I want 9 people as godparents, 4 couples and my brother.
However people are telling me this is far too many? Which yes, I understand but how an earth do I choose between them?
Would it be fair/right to just have my girl friends as god mothers and not include their husbands plus my brother as the only god father?
I honestly couldn’t choose which couple I would prefer...

My godparents don’t include “partners” as such. I have two godfathers - one old family friend and my paternal uncle. My aunt or the partner of the family friend are not my godmothers. I assumed this was fairly normal? But I may be wrong!

Personally I would want to have a mixture of male/female roles but think 9 does sound like a lot but when it’s 4 couples it’s slightly different as they are together not 9 individuals. I know you never know 100% but if you thought you may have more than one child I would choose two couples and the other two for second child. Part of me thinks ultimately does it harm anyone and you should just do what you like! I guess you could name all 4 sets in general life as god parents but only have one person from each couple for the actual christening ceremony.

I don’t really understand having siblings as god parents, they have a role anyway as auntie/uncle.

Our church allows two only. I have always had a man and a woman for my DC. Nine is far too many imo.

I agree about siblings being aunts/uncles anyway.

We had 4 for DC1 and 4 for DC2 but by the time we got to DC3 we could only think of 3!

Mine all have 4 each.

Mainly a complete waste of time since my friendships have moved on so much since the kids were born.

If I did it over I wouldn't bother with godparents

IMO 9 is far too many. I would choose friends but wouldn’t choose their husbands/partners.

I’d keep some spare in case you have another child.

Tradition dictates one godfather and two godmother's for a girl and two godfather's and a godmother for a boy. However it's up to you. We've chosen 2 godmother's and a godfather for our daughter, however we have also chosen a friend to be a supporter - a non religious role. Our vicar suggested it as my close friend isn't christened so can't be a godparent. Choosing godparents was a challenge!

In your case I would choose individuals not couples, but speak to your vicar first, they will be able to advise. I spoke to a couple of vicars and it seems that the guidance differs slightly between parishes.

We have one - I feel strongly that you should only ask people to be a godparent if they are a committed Christian (I say this as an atheist). Most of the people who have a role in my DS life aren't and therefore it felt totally inappropriate to ask them. They are still very important to us and DS.

Its usually a maximum of 2 in the local Church bere I believe

9 is ridiculous and totally dilutes the significance of the thing. I was asked to be a godmother recently - and it felt much less special when I realised at the Christening I was one of 6, actually a bit embarrassing. My other godchildren I feel a special ‘thing’ with as one of three god parents but not so much this one, it really felt like they just wanted more presents!

What is even the point these days? Unless you are a Christian, it is just a token role and having nine just looks a bit silly imo.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong, it is just down to personal choice. But personally I can’t see your child having a close relationship with 9 other adults, it does seem a bit pointless. If I was one of 9 godparents it also wouldn’t feel very special. Less is more when it comes to things like that I think. I would also maybe think you’re just after a lot of extra birthday presents for the next 18 years...

The best person to ask on this is the vicar who will be baptising your child. They will be able to guide you. Some denominations / parishes have different views on how many Godparents are appropriate.

It's also worth mentioning that normally Godparents should themselves have been baptised (and in some cases confirmed) so this may change your list of potential candidates if they don't fulfill this criteria.

9 seems like a lot - I’m not sure your baby would have a strong godparent / godchild relationship with all of them.

I don’t think you need to ask people as couples - it’s fine to ask one person and not their spouse.

I don’t think siblings need to be godparents because they already have a strong role in the child’s life.

It is ultimately up to you - if you’re happy with 9 and only worried about what others will think then go with 9. But it might make it a stronger or more special bond if you can reduce it to a smaller group who you would really trust to guide and support your child.

I'm actually flabbergasted at the notion of nine godparents! I thought multiple godparents were a peculiar outdated quirk of royalty. We are Catholic and two godparents is the norm, one godmother and one godfather. Godparents must themselves have been confirmed. It's usual to choose a sister of the mother and a brother of the father, or vice versa. Often, it's the batsman and chief bridesmaid. Occasionally it's a grandparent or grandaunt/uncle, sometimes a very close friend.

Dd1 had my sister and brother 27 yrs ago.

Dd2 had my niece and dh's nephew 4 yrs ago. Both dd's baptism in the catholic church.
Godparents need to be confirmed.

In the church where my DS was baptised, not only do godparents need to have been confirmed but they need to be going to mass regularly and get a letter of support from their own priest.

Oops! batsman = best man!

9 is completely excessive.

I have 3, 2 female and one male, as I’m a girl, my sister has the same and my brother the opposite. I’ll probably go for similar.

Who do think think will offer the most emotional and spiritual guidance to your child? It’s a religious role not just ‘here’s a fun extra title’

And of course don’t include their husbands, you don’t have couples as godparents as some standard combo.

Mine have three. DS has two godfathers and one godmother. DD has two godmothers and one godfather. That is traditional. And no you don't have a couple!! 9 is far too many.

Nine is ridiculous! Three is traditional - two godmothers and one godfather for a girl and vice versa for a boy. Have one person from each couple and your brother. Are they all baptised?

Don’t forget to keep some suitable people ‘back’ if you intend to have any further children.

What faith are you OP? 9 sounds a huge amount but maybe it’s the norm in your faith

Nine is ridiculous (are you Royalty?), you don’t need a couple to both be Godparents, my DH is Godfather to his friend’s DD but we both play a role in her life. As does our DS’s GF and his wife.

Why do you feel you want nine Godparents?

I would only choose people who are committed Christians. It's a religious and spiritual role.

Having sat through a few christening, it's a huge commitment to a child as well as you are swearing them into a faith.

Choose wisely.