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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Sleepyhead’s...good or bad?

63 replies

Pascal3 · 12/04/2020 08:56

My MIL is really on my case that I need to buy a sleepyhead for my baby as her daughter has terrible trouble with her baby and claimed this was a lifesaver!
My sister in law is a very stressed out person to the point where the whole world evolves around her and she claims motherhood is the most stressful thing in the world and regularly has her mum take care of the child whilst she goes off and loves her life!

My MIL is speaking to me that I need this and I need that as her daughter couldn’t love without it and I must have it! I’ve got to the point where I’ve snapped and said “just because your daughter had a tough time, doesn’t mean I will and all babies are different” she kept on about the sleepyhead but went quiet after I told her several times that I can’t justify spending all this money on something just because my niece didn’t & doesn’t sleep!

Anyways she’s started up again after seeing a photo on Facebook of a friends baby looking comfortable in one....I’ve been told they are not ideal for overnight sleeping and midwives don’t recommend them...
Seriously at the point of kicking off and feel like my baby is already being compared

Ugh..rant over

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

covidconundrum · 12/04/2020 11:02

I found it helped a lot. Distinctly remember wandering around John Lewis desperately looking for something that would help the sleep situation and seeing the sleepyhead. Took it to the till to get a price. Put it back horrified. Had another night of zero sleep and went back the next day money ready. My dd loved and still used it to rest her head in when she grew out of it. You don't have to get one now. You can wait and see how bad things get lol

UrsulaSings · 12/04/2020 11:04

It sounds like your MIL is being like this because she's insecure and worried itll be like her DD which sounds like it was a difficult time, and shes trying to control everything so you dont end up the same way. That doesnt make it alright (makes it more likely to be a self fulfilling prophecy and you will be stressed!) but sometimes if I can see why someone else us behaving the way they are it can make it slightly more tolerable. Sounds like she's being that way out of her own fear, not necessarily because she thinks badly of you. Her own DD is the only experience she's got to go by so she's probably nervous and desperately wants you to bond with baby if she's saying her daughter couldnt 'love' her baby without a sleepyhead!

Hope she manages to calm down a bit and stop stressing you out!

20viona · 12/04/2020 11:08

Iv got a purflo baby nest and it's bigger than a sleepyhead it's amazing.

fee1234 · 12/04/2020 11:37

Best thing we bought. My 10 month old is now in the bigger version. 100% recommend and will be using it again when his sibling arrives this summer.

squee123 · 12/04/2020 16:25

personally I wouldn't touch one with a barge poll. Given the Lullaby Teust advise against them I would be too worried about safety and could never live with myself if something happened to my baby when sleeping in one

Confused866 · 12/04/2020 16:40

@squee123 the trouble is what do you do if your baby will literally not sleep laid on a crib mattress? Many will not because they hate the space around them and not being held. What happens then is after many sleepless nights you end up falling asleep with them in your arms because you literally can’t stay awake. Sometimes you have to make a judgment call about the safest option in the circumstances.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 16:43

what do you do if your baby will literally not sleep laid on a crib mattress? with all due respect what do you think people did before sleepyheads

Confused866 · 12/04/2020 16:45

@onlyfools probably fell asleep holding their babies a lot!!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 16:54

Yes or just let their babies cry and get used to it. More so once you have more than one child you don’t have those hours. Like I said I’m not fully decided on a sleepy head for any future babies- SIDs is a big concern

Confused866 · 12/04/2020 17:00

@onlyfools it’s personal choice isn’t it. Like everything. I didn’t let my babies cry, that was my choice. I felt the sleepyhead was safer than them being in my arms while I fell asleep or co-sleeping when they were very tiny (did co-sleep when they got bigger though). Sometimes you have to read all the advice and make a balanced judgement based on how your baby is and taking all factors into account.

OhClover · 12/04/2020 17:05

Totally agree with @confused866. It is better not to use one but if it is a straight up choice between a sleepyhead or trying to sit up all night holding the baby with the (in my opinion) far more dangerous risk of falling asleep holding them, then I’ll take the sleepyhead.

If others wouldn’t then I’m not judging, we all make our own assessment of risk. But a sleepyhead is a reasonable choice if you have a baby who otherwise simply refuses to be put down. I wouldn’t forgive myself if my baby suffocated as I tried to manage without and fell asleep on top of them.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 17:15

i wouldn’t forgive myself if my baby suffocated as I tried to manage without and fell asleep on top of them yes but the same argument can be used against you. Who could forgive themselves if their baby suffocated in a sleepyhead.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 17:16

Confused866 of course personal choice, all safety aspects of raising babies is personal choice. Smoking and drinking whilst pregnant are personal choices

FilthyforFirth · 12/04/2020 17:18

@Clemmie83 yes I mainly had it on the sofa, or sometimes on the floor when it was summer.

Confused866 · 12/04/2020 17:29

@OnlyFoolsnMothers that’s a bit goady isn’t it, smoking and drinking in pregnancy are hardly the same as using a sleepyhead in good faith to help your baby settle to sleep. I’m not getting into a silly argument over it. Please don’t try to make other mothers feel bad for doing their best in their own circumstances, there’s no need.

happymummy12345 · 12/04/2020 17:32

We never bothered with one. Didn't see the point. Ds only slept in his crib, then in his cot. Never had a Moses basket as I hate them. Had no problems at all when he went in his cot.

OhClover · 12/04/2020 18:05

yes but the same argument can be used against you. Who could forgive themselves if their baby suffocated in a sleepyhead

Exactly - this is why I said it as a few posts had said they wouldn’t forgive themselves if baby died of SIDS in a sleepyhead.

covidconundrum · 12/04/2020 18:07

Agree with @Confused866 I had to co sleep with my dd. She would not go near a crib, bouncer, wouldn't even sleep in the pram if you took her for a walk. She slept in a sling in the day and at nightI thought it was better to plan to co sleep than to end up falling asleep from sheer exhaustion feeding her and drop her or roll on her. I got the sleepyhead so she had her own area on the bed and I wouldn't roll on her. I wore a onesie and got rid of all duvets to make it as safe as possible. There are always risks with everything. When the sleep situation gets bad you're between a rock and a hard place because terrible things happen when you're getting zero sleep

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 18:08

Please don’t try to make other mothers feel bad for doing their best in their own circumstances that isn’t what I’m intending on doing. But the SIDs risk is a real one, I just don’t think we should be flippant and make out it’s the same as deciding on whether to breastfeed or not, when actually it’s the same as choosing to use cot bumpers. People assume they are safe because the shops sell them and others have used them without issue- but the risk is there.

OhClover · 12/04/2020 18:12

@onlyfoolsandmothers

I don’t think you’re engaging with the point being made which is that for a baby who will not otherwise be put down, a sleepyhead is the lesser of two evils. In that situation it avoids a bigger risk.

The same isn’t true of cot bumpers.

Confused866 · 12/04/2020 18:15

@onlyfools it’s not flippant though to say that if your baby won’t sleep any other way than being held you have to make a judgement call and many parents decide that a sleepyhead or the like is probably safer than falling asleep holding them or co-sleeping with a tiny baby. It’s a choice in difficult circumstances. Also you mention feeding choices, actually the chance of SIDS is lower if a baby is breast fed, but if a mother chooses to formula feed instead would you liken that to drinking or smoking in pregnancy because she’s made a ‘choice’ that goes against the safe sleep advice? Hopefully not.

theseriousmoonlight · 12/04/2020 18:16

We used one with dd. We also lightly swaddled. She slept amazingly. She still does. We researched a lot and at the time the lullaby trust hadn't tested an actual sleepyhead, just generic sleep aids. Also, Sweden, where it is made, has extremely stringent safety laws. The sleepyhead is completely breathable - covers and 'bumpers' according to their website.
I will use it again for dc2 due in June.

covidconundrum · 12/04/2020 18:17

I don't understand how a sleepyhead isn't helpful. The lullaby trust says that if you co sleep you have to ensure that baby won't fall out and won't get caught between the wall and the mattress. The sleepyhead helps prevent both those things as well as creates a barrier to stop you rolling on baby

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/04/2020 18:17

But sleepyheads came out less than 5years ago- let’s be honest people; including myself, want to use them because they give a mother a break.

OhClover · 12/04/2020 18:19

let’s be honest people; including myself, want to use them because they give a mother a break

Bit of a generalisation

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