Giving birth alone in coronavirus

[Wingingit07]

Hey

Here's a petition as they're thinking of social distancing in scans and also birth!

www.change.org/p/nhs-protect-the-right-to-have-a-birth-partner-during-covid-19?recruiter=152065300&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_initial&recruited_by_id=f6bfc730-3b30-11e4-a7bf-19692eac9bb6&utm_content=fht-21101226-en-gb%3Av2

Xx

@ThisIsABitTricky That’s great that you recovered so well but not everyone has that experience. On my first night after my c-section my spinal hadn’t yet worn off so I couldn’t move. My buzzer didn’t work. Nobody came all night to check on me (as they had promised my husband they would do). My baby was screaming all night. I tried calling out for help but nobody came. I couldn’t reach my baby to comfort him and feed him. Yes we survived but it was absolutely awful. I changed hospital this time to one where a private room can be booked and husbands can stay overnight but that’s not going to be possible.

@Pulpfiction1 good post. This is what we need more of.
I'm a first time mum to be and obviously it's all very daunting but I think posts like this just fuel the worry and anxiety and are not helpful at all.

Most of it is just rumours and scaremongering, a friend of mine has just given birth and said the same as you....the only real difference was on the ward after the birth. Labour itself was the same as it was in both her other pregnancies.

And, of course, it would be better to have that help and support when you're on the ward but that doesn't come before the safety and wellbeing of everyone else (including the staff).
Hard decisions have to be made at times like this and I genuinely feel like hospitals and midwives etc are doing the best they can in such difficult circumstances.

I honestly couldn’t let my emotions get in the way of safety, and given a choice I’d actually tell my husband to stay at home.

I had an awful (and very quick) labour last time. The midwives were terrible and I believe most of the issues were actually caused by them not listening to me or my wants. Because of the issues I had last time I HAVE to go to hospital again, with the awful midwives who treated me so badly last time. I am only packing enough for the minimum amount of time in hospital. I’m not having them make me stay again, in a ward where no one can sleep and you can’t leave. Last time I at least had my husband to help me when it all got too much, noise cancelling headphones whilst he looked after our baby so I could get the precious sleep I so desperately needed. I will leave when my husband leaves.

It does worry me a lot what will happen if they do ban birth partners full stop. It seems staff will be a lot more stretched without having birthing partners to support with the less medical tasks (eg reassuring Mum, fetching things she needs etc) and I imagine would struggle to get around everyone in the same depth.

Even before this happened, I know visitors were heavily relied upon to provide other elements of care. For instance when my Nan was in hospital, a packaged sandwich would be left on the table next to her bed. At that time she was far too weak to reach across and open it herself, so unless someone visited at meal times to help feed her, she would not eat all day, which would make her weaker and have a knock on effect on the infection she was battling.

For those in too much pain in labour to communicate with medical staff or alert them if something is wrong and has gone unnoticed, sadly the consequences could end up being fatal.

@somegoodnewsforonce Whilst we don’t have more physical midwives on the postnatal ward, in fact sometimes less due to staff sickness / isolation, we also have less women on the postnatal ward as most are now being discharged straight from labour ward if there is no medical need to stay. Whereas previously we might have said “oh it’s 8pm you might as well stay overnight etc.”.

We have also sped up the discharge process so instead of waiting around for hours for someone to have the time to discharge you there is someone now dedicated to just doing discharges each day.

This means there is far less women on the postnatal ward and as such midwife : patient ratios are better.

@Sorbet18 Women in labour should be receiving 1:1 care anyway, so 1 midwife caring for just that woman and no one else. Sometimes they have a student working with them so you get 2:1 care.

There is no suggestion yet that birth partners will be banned in labour and I can’t see it happening personally as you labour in a private room anyway and are not mixing with other patients as you would on a ward / in a waiting room.

But even IF it did happen the midwife caring for that woman should be with her throughout her labour caring for just her and so would have plenty of time to reassure her / pass her things etc. I appreciate it’s not the same but women will never be left to labour completely alone.

@Indella

Are the labour midwives any better? Last time they strapped me onto the bed on monitors against my will. They also refused to check my dilation when I felt the urge to push, telling me I obviously wasn’t coping and forced me to have an epidural, they checked me straight after the epidural and I was fully dilated. They then said not to bother pushing because I had the epidural so left me for 3 1/2 hours fully dilated and within 10 minutes of starting to push called for a forceps team (After reading and confirming in my birth plan that I refuse forceps) ended up with shoulder dystocia, retained placenta and haemorrhaging.

I was let down repeatedly by the midwives who delivered my first baby. There is no chance in hell I’m doing it alone this time.

@Indella thanks for doing a great job and giving us some positive info

I'll sign it later, OP. Thanks for the link.

@kittykat7210 That’s horrendously bad practice. Sadly you get good and bad in every profession but the vast majority of midwives would never treat someone like that. Hopefully you made a complaint regarding your treatment.

Women in labour should be receiving 1:1 care anyway, so 1 midwife caring for just that woman and no one else. Sometimes they have a student working with them so you get 2:1 care.

What was mine doing then? She'd pop in, check everything and then say, 'I'll be back at X time (a couple of hours hence) and then I didn't see her until that time. She was only there for the actual end bit. I imagined she had other women to care for, is that unlikely to have been the case?

@broohaha Was this recently? Guidelines have been tightened up as years have gone by so a few years back midwives could have had other patients. Was this also in “active” labour as that is the point the guideline kicks in for 1-1 care. Active labour is defined as 4cm dilated plus. A few years back women would stay on labour ward at 2/3 cam and await events whereas now, and prior to the COVID outbreak, they are sent home to return in active labour so should only be on labour ward once actively in labour.

@Indella 2018 and yes- my hospital won't admit until you're in active labour. They send you home before that.

@Indella

After rereading my post I might have come across slightly aggressive which wasn’t my intention if it did, I tried to contact the head of midwifery at the hospital to ask for a follow up on what happened during my labour as it didn’t feel right at all, i never received a response and being a fairly young first time mum (I was 22, it was fully planned but I understand that’s young in some people’s eyes) I just accepted it as that’s how labour is! It wasn’t until a year later when I was talking to people about what happened that it was even acknowledged as not right! I’m in a lot of fear at the moment, I honestly felt it would be better knowing what to expect and having my husband next to me also knowing what was happening and able to speak for me, so it’s incredibly scary to think I might not have his support! Half my family works for the NHS and I know how hard they work.

@BrooHaHa Perhaps a bad midwife then unfortunately. Once someone is in active labour you need to record the fetal heart every 15 minutes. Never should someone be left alone for hours. You might be out the room for short times, doing equipment checks, paperwork, answering an emergency bell at which point it’s everyone leave your patient and come and help unless they physically can’t be left at that moment but routinely leaving someone for hours is unacceptable.

@kittykat7210 Not aggressive at all. You rightly sound angry at what was appalling and care and treatment. I’m so sorry that your complaint wasn’t dealt with. Whilst I obviously can’t guarantee it I really really don’t believe birth partners will be banned. The main reason we are banning partners attending scans etc. is because in a busy waiting room, a tiny ultrasound room, a ward full of too small cubicles etc. it’s impossible to socially distance when you have double the amount of people in the space. In labour you are in a dedicated room, away from other people and so there isn’t any logistical reason why a partner couldn’t be present. They may say stay in the room at all time’s and don’t walk in and out the ward if the partner is a smoker for example but I’d be very shocked if they stopped them attending labour all together.

most are now being discharged straight from labour ward

That’s the one silver lining to all this - less time in the dreaded postnatal ward.

BBC article on giving birth during a pandemic... www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-52098036.

That's good @Daftodil! I hope mine decide to switch to home-births rather than hospital ones.

@BrooHaHa, according to this article, a third of NHS Trusts have stopped/cancelled home births due to lack of ambulance availability... and non-essential caesarean sections are being cancelled too.

www.pressreader.com/uk/the-mail-on-sunday/20200405/281603832577487

Can I just add that as a first time mum it’s not just about me being scared or nervous to do it alone, it’s about the thought of my partner missing the birth or bonding time with our first child. He is extremely upset by the prospect of this, whilst I fully understand why it must be done I also don’t think it’s fair to say women are being silly and just need to accept they don’t need their partner.

@Daftodil. I know. But the article you linked to suggested that some were also planning to switch to home-births wherever possible.

@BrooHaHa, think it's going to be a massive postcode lottery. Hope it all works out for you

The medical staff are currently putting their lives at risk, yesterday a midwife died of covid 19. I think it’s horrific how people are kicking up as their partner can’t come to a bloody scan as they can’t see past their own pregnancy and look at the bigger picture. Yesterday my friend who is a doctor read an elderly dying man a letter from his wife of 60 years as she isn’t allowed to see him to say goodbye. Although I completely understand that it would be sad for your partners if birth partners were banned your baby is coming home healthy and you have all the time in the world to spend as a family alone without any interruption.

My friend is pregnant. Dad couldn't be at booking appointment and can't be at scans. Mum to be only.