Giving birth alone in coronavirus

[Wingingit07]

Hey

Here's a petition as they're thinking of social distancing in scans and also birth!

www.change.org/p/nhs-protect-the-right-to-have-a-birth-partner-during-covid-19?recruiter=152065300&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_initial&recruited_by_id=f6bfc730-3b30-11e4-a7bf-19692eac9bb6&utm_content=fht-21101226-en-gb%3Av2

Xx

Totally understand it is for safety of staff, mums and babies, although obviously potentially distressing for women at the time.

Daft question probably but with no partners allowed on the ward afterwards what do you do with the baby when you need to go to eat and shower? My first screamed non stop for the first three days after a traumatic birth, (presumably she had a headache from forceps) Do you just leave them screaming by the unattended bed?? If my partner hadn’t been there I don’t think I wold have showered or eaten for the whole 5 days I was there...

When I had both of my children Incy I just wheeled them into the shower room in their cot and had a really quick shower. I think I ate one handedly whilst holding them (like I did for the next 6 months).

Incy - all three of my DC's are c section babies, with our third, I went in to get my waters checked alone at 10pm on a Saturday night, confirmed it was my waters and my section was brought forward to that following morning. So I stayed in hospital that night on my own, DH come to the hospital literally minutes before I was wheeled in to theatre at 6am, he stayed with me for an hour in recovery then returned home to our other dc.
I then stayed on the ward that day and night 'on my own'. Baby was fine. I was fine. Even after having had a section.

I really don't understand all these women saying they 'need' their husbands there. You don't need them. You want them. It's time for everyone to start thing collectively rather than as an individual.

It's for the greater good that husbands and visitors aren't allowed on the maternity ward and anyone signing a petition that's blatantly going against what hospitals want because they know best right now, are frankly bonkers imo.

Ah ok, thanks, not sure if we are allowed to take them to the dining area... it’s like a canteen where you have to collect your food on trays. Guess they will have to put something in place to allow for that now...

As a midwife this is the absolute last thing we want to do and are not doing it for no reason!

We’re still allowing 1 birth partner in labour for now but no coming to scans or visiting on the ward.

If you’re vulnerable newborn caught COVID from someone else partner, who doesn’t HAVE to be there, would you still be petitioning?

@Indella I agree with you. Just out of interest what's happening on the post natal ward for support of mums (especially those who have had c-section or other interventions) obviously partners would usually spend most of the day on the ward and help mums. Is their extra assistance in place?

Mine have already said you're on your own for everything except active labour.

Can't really get my knickers in a twist about it, dh was only really their during active labour for my previous labours, it's not an issue. You don't need a man holding your hand the whole time, they're a spare part mostly anyway and the midwives are with you.

We all need to woman up, our grans managed alone. At least you'll have a birth partner for the main event.

If you’re vulnerable newborn caught COVID from someone else partner, who doesn’t HAVE to be there, would you still be petitioning?

This 1000 times

@Indella Totally agree. Why does one person's desire for a handhold trump someone else's desire to reduce the risk of catching a life threatening illness or putting their tiny baby at risk of catching something minutes after being born? Fewer people in the hospital means less risk to everyone.
I am terrified of being alone during labour. Terrified. I had a complicated birth the first time around resulting in blood transfusions and baby going to NICU... but being without a birth partner is the lesser of two evils in the long run.

@IncyWincySpiderOnRepeat I would also like to understand how women who don’t have straightforward births are going to be supported postnatally. Last time I had my c section I found getting out of bed without help impossible so my husband helped me a great deal - bringing me food and drinks, helping me to get up and move around and catching me when I fainted on my walk to the toilet, passing me the baby to feed, changing the baby etc. Like you I had a baby who screamed all the time. This time I will need to stay in for a couple of days due to complications and I’m really worried about how I will manage. I know staff want to help but they have so many people to attend to.

Agree with @Jadefeather7 I'm also having a c section and am less worried about doing that alone than I am about being on the ward with no help from my partner after. I've had several stays in hospital over the last few years and it was so difficult to get any help as all the nurses were rushed off their feet constantly. Not their fault obviously but it does concern me being vulnerable and unable to move about by myself/tend to baby unaided.

A petition to go against medical advice in the midst of a pandemic? Are you for real?

I'm afraid people are going to comment as this is a public forum for discussion. And what you are suggesting would affect all expectant mothers.

I'm going to go against the grain and say I would agree with most of the rules even if we weren't in a pandemic.

My induction took 4 days, 2 lots of 24 hour pessaries and a 24 hour cook balloon, followed by a long wait to go to Central Delivery Suite. I had the first pessary Monday morning and was finally taken to CDS at 1am on Friday. I had not slept for more than 2 hours each night - partners and kids running in and out of the ward, people talking loudly on phones, 3 hourly observations and endless banging doors etc. After a 17 hour labour I was so exhausted I was falling asleep between contractions (when 10cm dilated with no pain relief, that's how tired I was). The delivery ended in forceps as i didnt have the energy to push. The postnatal ward was hellish, children running into my cubicle when I was trying to breastfeed and get changed etc, it was chaos.

I think you should only be allowed 1 birthing partner and no further hospital visitors. The birthing partner should go home between at least 9pm and 9am to keep wards as quiet and calm as possible.

@esmerelda1988 after my third section, my DH left an hour after the baby was born. I managed just fine. He had to leave because we had two other DC's at home who needed him. You just get on with it, you get up, you mobilise yourself, as the longer you stay sitting down, the worse the pain will be when you eventually do try and move. 6 hours post op I was up and about and the midwives couldn't believe how well I was doing. I was 'alone' all day and night until he come and got me the following day after I'd been discharged.

@ThisIsABitTricky glad it went well for you- this is my first and I have some additional complications as well so no idea what to expect and it's a really scary time. I don't necessarily think a petition is the right thing to be doing but it is genuinely frightening for a lot of pregnant women who have no experience to base it on, and just because others have managed it previously doesn't mean everyone will. Fingers crossed!

@ThisIsABitTricky tbh I think you may have been lucky there. I was in recovery for 5 hours after having DS and didn't have my catheter removed until 12 hours after having him so couldn't get up. I didn't even have a c-section (high forceps in theatre).
I do agree with these nhs measures though. Desperate times and all that.

Spoke to my midwife today at lunch time who said soon it could be that no birthing partners from what she's hearing.... Such scary times :(

no birthing partners - except for qualified medical professionals of course.

Just to clarify guys I didn't start this petition I just popped it up in case other people were for it and would like to sign it, we don't need to make personal digs by calling me bonkers! Thank you x

Somegoodnewsforonce yes I didn't think doctors were considered birthing partners...

@Jadefeather7 I think this is what’s scaring me the most. Last time I had a severe 3c tear repaired in theatre. Could barely walk for weeks. Whilst I was in hospital I also suffered incontinence related to the tear so was having to shower at least three times a day. The though of dealing with all of that alone, without someone to watch the screaming baby is hugely terrifying. The midwives and healthcare assistants were amazing, but through no fault of their own, were far too overstretched to continually watch a screaming baby whilst I was repeatedly showering etc.

I will be having a section this time so am very much hoping things will be smoother and more controlled, although is obviously still major surgery so not expecting a walk in the park.

As I said before totally understand why the measures are necessary, but still very daunting as someone who has had an absolutely hideous postnatal experience previously.

Spoke to my midwife today at lunch time who said soon it could be that no birthing partners from what she's hearing.... Such scary times

I’m afraid I think it’s incredibly irresponsible of your midwife to frighten you with rumours.

I’m afraid I think it’s incredibly irresponsible of your midwife to frighten you with rumours.

I agree with this. I also think this thread and petition aren't helpful for anyone as they're just fuelling people's anxiety.
The NHS will be making policies based on scientific evidence around saving people's lives and won't give a shiny shite about a petition complaining about it.

Oh my first section was awful! Both baby and myself had an infection, resulting in us both being in hospital for five days!
I had that lingering over me when I knew I'd be in hospital on my own for my two other sections! But either way, you do just get on with it, because you have to.

I signed for the petition because for my first birth which started as an induction I was never in 'active labour'. I had a failed induction, I never got past 3 or 4 cm dilated, then moved onto a emergency C-section within about half an hour as was decided there wasn't any point continuing. I think the worry is that a women could end up in the same situation as I did and basically alone. I did not have the midwife in the room much, other than for observations and breaking my waters it was just my husband and I.

Whilst I don't see that happening again this time, I rather suspect a 'elective' C-section, I can understand other women's concerns.

Just hoping that there's lots of help on the ward after births especially for those who have had C-section because I agree trying to reach baby, change baby, shower, eat and drink or even reach food and drink can be incredibly difficult after a C-section.

I think a lot of first time mums may be a little more concerned by this as they don't realise when you actually go to hospital.

For a spontaneous labour most people will not be admitted into hospital until they are in established labour and taken into a private delivery sweet. Before that point you will be at home with your partner. Once you are in the delivery sweet your partner will be with you. The main difference will be after birth, your partner will be asked to leave and you will be transfered to a ward with just your baby until you're ready to go home.

It will make a difference to those that are staying on ward pre labour (usually because you're at risk for some reason) or having an induction. But again it's only the early more managble part you'll be on your own for. The main labour your partner can be with you.

For the vast majority of people the labour experience will be no different other than your partner waits outside while you get assessed.