Anyone else feel disappointed?

[HolsF28]

I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my second, and last baby. I had chronic anxiety with my first after we suffered a miscarriage previously and I was sooooo excited for this pregnancy, to enjoy it and embrace it all and cherish every second and now with everything going on I've had panic attacks all week over fears of not being paid for months as my job is up in the air and just gutted that we are living in fear and uncertainty during it. Having to distance ourselves from our friends and families who I was excited to share this with and just feel really low. Hoping this feeling will blow over and once I feel movements I'll start to enjoy it and deal with the cards we have been dealt. I know this is all for the best if everyone's health, but it still is rubbish.

Does anyone else feel like this and are in the same boat?

Yes feel exactly the same. My first pregnancy was a very anxious time, so I really wanted to enjoy this one. It now looks like it will be very likely that I’m made redundant. It’s awful. I am just in this fog of fear. I hate not knowing.

Congrats on your pregnancy

I'm not pregnant but I have a nearly 8mo little girl. The first 6 months were spent in/out of hospital for various reasons (both fine now!) But I was really looking forward to making the most of the last chunk of my maternity leave. Had it in my head we were going to have long springtime walks with friends, go to baby groups and basically do all the things we had missed out on so far. No such luck It has made me feel really sad for some reason, so I totally understand how you feel.

Before anyone flames me, I know others have it MUCH worse in this crisis and essentially I know that (for now) I'm very lucky.

But I guess I just feel a bit sad my one stretch of uninterrupted time with my daughter before nursery, school etc has been so restricted.

I guess all we can do is make the most of the present moment, and be grateful for the things we do have

I know exactly how you feel, this is my second and more than likely last pregnancy and I’ve been pretty much hibernating since Christmas due to sickness and illness etc, I was really looking forward to getting out and about and enjoying this pregnancy and my son’s last summer before starting school. I know it sounds petty considering how other people are suffering but it’s just not how we imagined it is it?

This is why I wanted to post this, it is petty in relation to a lot of things. I'm grateful I've been lucky enough to fall when so many around me are struggling to, and I know it's better than being ill and having loved ones die of the virus, but I think it's okay to feel disappointed and sad that things haven't got the way we planned. This is such an amazing experience it's hard to let go of the fact it isn't gonna be what we hoped for. And I've got fed up of being told this week to stop worrying, it can't be changed and we have to get on with it cause actually I wanna cry about it for a bit and I want to feel disappointed before I can accept it and enjoy it in a different way.

Glad you guys understand ♥︎

Yes, this is me 100 times over. First baby due end of may, and all I can selfish focus on is how different the who experience is going to be now. I'm so sad about it, it's like heartache. My friends don't understand, they sympathise but tell me to just get on with it. I feel like I'm mourning a normal start to my mat leave/labour/ everyone meeting my newborn son. I've cried a lot the past 2 days

I feel exactly the same. I am a first time mum who has always had a lot of anxiety about the pregnancy process. I am a bit older than most and it has taken me a lot to get here.
I was just through my first trimester of basically staying in bed due to sickness. Back at work and feeling happy for a few weeks then this started.

Last 3 weeks I’ve been at home by myself pretty much every day. Now I am following the guidance and cancelled any social events even with family to protect them and us. My work is ok at the moment and lucky I can WFH but any day now we could be made redundant. And to top it off the sale of our flat that we had finally got an offer on fell through today so now I’m worried about our outgoings if one of us gets made redundant

I know people are sick and I feel so sad for the world and so proud of our amazing NHS trying to do everything they can. But my anxiety for my own birth and healthy pregnancy is through the roof ahd I can’t sleep or eat properly as I feel so worried.

I really wanted to enjoy this time. Let my family pat my growing bump. Meet other new mums in NCT. And basically I feel all of that has been taken away.

Sorry didn’t mean to rant

Wishing everyone love and best wishes x

I’m pregnant with my first, due in 3 weeks time, and I just feel so sad that it’s looking like none of my baby’s grandparents or aunts and uncles and cousins are going to be able to meet him or her for at least a couple of months, since they all either live abroad or are in at risk groups themselves and/or would have to get public transport to get to us which just seems like a recipe for infection. We had a family wedding in June that we might not be able to go to now, we had holidays with family planned for the summer that we might not be able to go to... we were even thinking ahead to the christening and sort of thinking about the 6 month mark, but even that might have to be reconsidered.

I don’t think it’s selfish at all to be sad Lemonysherbet, at the end of the day what you/we are sad about is our baby’s first few months of life are going to be lived pretty much in isolation, without the fun and, more importantly, the love of family and friends, which is so important in a child’s life. I’ve got photos of my grandparents holding me when I was a baby - is my baby going to have that? We don’t even really know at the moment.

I don’t really use social media much anymore, but I was thinking I might have to start using it more if family can’t come to us... but it’s not the same.

Rant away! With all that's happening I feel like we need to rant, and I feel like everyone around me isn't listening and understanding why I'm upset. My OH never wanted kids it's was me that talked him into it, being a mum is all I ever dreamed of and after a really anxious time with my first I couldn't wait to enjoy this one properly and it has been taken away from us.
I second what you say, the NHS is amazing and I know the restrictions are best for everyone right now but there's nothing wrong with us feeling let down with it all. Scans are meant to be exciting yet partners aren't being allowed in and there's uncertainty whether we can have them.

I hope everyone will find a way to enjoy their pregnancies once we have come to terms with this a bit more, once the sun is shining! And once there's a bit more clarification on our jobs and the length of time of isolation.

But post anytime if you need a rant, I needed to know I'm not alone in feeling horrific about this whole situation x

Yes, I'm in the same boat. First baby, due at the end of May. My parents with whom I am very close live abroad and were planning to come as soon as the baby is born, but it's looking less and less likely that they'll be able to come and stay due to the pandemic.

I feel so selfish, but I was really looking forward to the whole end of pregnancy and now I'm just scared about how lonely life is looking right now. I'm also so panicky about how labour and delivery will be in the midst of a health crisis. This isn't how I imagined starting a family.

It's nice to know it's not just me.

Sending everyone love and support even just online. Makes me feel better to know we’re not alone and we can share our feelings.

We have to believe this too shall pass. It’s a massive shame and I don’t think we’ll ever forget our pregnancies. But just need to hold on to the excitement our babies will bring xx

Same here. 2nd baby due in late April. When my first was born, all four grandparents were here to see him within a couple of days. And my mum helped out for weeks and I was still exhausted.
It just occurred to me today that this time around help won't be available or sensible (don't want to put the grandparents at risk); and there's a 2 year old to look after in addition to the baby.
I am really not looking forward to it. I know other people have bigger worries but I just feel sad for myself today.

By the way, what is your plan for childcare when giving birth? My plan was grandparents, but think may need an alternative now.

So glad I found this thread, it's nice to see I'm not alone.

I've cried a lot these past few days and at times I've felt really selfish because we are healthy, we have secure jobs and a roof over our heads, and I know many people in the world are affected by this so much more than we are...

But at 30 weeks pregnant the prospect of spending the rest of my pregnancy in isolation is so scary, because my mental health suffers without routine and getting out.

We had so many plans before baby is due, an NCT course and we had planned to go out for meals and days out as much as we could to make the most of it, but accepting that none of that will happen is really hard.

Even shopping for baby supplies looks like it will be an impossible task now..

Then I fear for the state the NHS will be in when I go into labour, the prospect that they may even stop birth partners on the labour ward, how short staffed they may be and will me and my baby be safe?

So many uncertainties and things are changing so rapidly too, it's all very overwhelming. I totally understand how you feel and it's quite a lonely place to be, being pregnant at a time like this.

Me too. I had a MMC with my first pregnancy, then was told I would probably not conceive naturally and was saving for IVF when I got pregnant again miraculously - now 21 weeks and was SO excited about ante-natal yoga, pregnancy massage, NCT, baby shopping with my Mum... I’ve imagined being pregnant for so long and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in this time is gone and replaced with anxiety and worry.

I feel like this as well. I've got 5 week old twins and had a stressful pregnancy, never sure whether I would take them both home or not. I never let myself get excited. And now they are here I still can't relax and enjoy, for a totally different reason! I look at them and feel scared about the world I've brought them into. Although I was lucky to deliver them before all this really kicked off, it terrifies me that we no longer have easy access to medical assistance should they need it. They are so delicate and tiny. Not sure what will happen about their immunisations. Can't get hold of formula and unable to breastfeed. Was so looking forward to the spring and summer with family. MIL was visiting from overseas in April and who knows when she will get to meet them now. I know others have it so much worse but I can't help but feel rather down about it all.

Don't feel bad, you're not being selfish!
I'm expecting no.1 early may and I keep joking I'm going to have to hold her up in front of the window and show family from there! I'm gutted too. Two sessions in and our NCT classes have switched to online (I'm not too chuffed with that development) , I wanted to attend newborn meetups, breastfeeding support, family to meet her. I had all these visions of taking a tiny squishy baby into work for everyone to cuddle, take to the beach near me, down the caravan site... Now all that's gone for a bit of a bloody burden.
I don't care if some people say "others have it worse". These are my feelings and I'm gonna feel them, whether they like it or not. I suggest you do the same! Message me if you need a rant, I'll join in with gusto x

I was just coming on here to post something similar before I spotted your thread OP.

I know I probably sound like an ungrateful cow, but I feel so disappointed for the reasons other posters have said. I was really looking forward to enjoying the third trimester, winding down from work, preparing for the baby and getting all excited.

Instead I feel the situation we find ourselves in has put a huge downer on the whole thing. I bought a gorgeous pram last month that I’d been saving up for and am now wondering what the point was, since it’s likely we won’t be leaving the house for several months after the birth due to isolation/lockdown.

Instead of cutting back on work I’m having to take on more projects because of the perilous financial situation me and DH now find ourselves in as a direct result of the virus. I’m struggling to work because I feel so distracted and have chronic insomnia, but don’t have a choice as we need the money.

I’m hugely stressed about finding everything I need for the baby now that people are buying up and stockpiling all sorts of things including nappies, formula and even thermometers.

I was looking forward to going shopping with DH and buying things for the baby like clothes and toys - that will now have to be done online and it won’t be the same.

My NCT classes have been cancelled so there’s no possibility of making friends and bonding with other mums - something else I was really looking forward to.

I don’t know what my hospital policy is but I’m upset that I may have to attend my final scans without DH - another exciting moment that’s been taken away from us.

I’m stressing out about my remaining midwife appointments because it seems that meeting anyone face to face is now deemed incredibly dangerous - and yet I will be required to sit in a cramped room with a midwife every two weeks who could potentially be contagious.

I’m concerned about how I’ll get to the hospital once I’m in labour as DH and I don’t drive and don’t have anyone nearby who can take us. Will Ubers still be running by then and even if they are, is there a chance I could catch the virus by taking one, putting mine and my baby’s health at risk?

I’m also scared that DH won’t be allowed to be present at the birth, which would be a total disaster - I just don’t think I have the mental strength to get through it on my own.

My mum was planning to come and stay after the birth to help but that won’t happen now either - and it’s likely that my family and friends won’t meet the baby until they’re several months old.

Add to all that the guilt of bringing new life into this terrifying world and I’m really struggling to cope

Definitely feeling it. 37weeks with #2. This was supposed to be my last week in the office with a work lunch today. Instead I've been working from home and had a bowl of noodles and toffee pop for a lonely lunch for one.
I was also planning on taking my DD out of preschool early for a few treat afternoons before baby arrives. A kids show, high tea, shopping trip, that kind of thing. I know we'll still get the time together but now it'll be much of the same old park trip with no playground or a walk around the block with a dolls pram. (We're on social distancing so can go out but avoiding people and crowds)
And we won't be making a short trip back home to see family and attend a friends wedding. It's made me really homesick suddenly.
With the travel restrictions and risk to the older folk I also know my mum won't get to our meet new arrival for what's looking like quite a long time.
The whole thing has just made me very sad.

I’m sorry to post like this but I am feeling really down and scared. I was coping ok with the worry but last few nights I keep waking up at 4am and can’t switch off thinking about what will happen to us pregnant ladies.

It feels such an unknown time for the NHS and the world in general. I just don’t know what to expect is coming and how we can handle it especially whilst isolated from friends and family

Yes definitely feeling like this, I'm 19 weeks and had just started feeling normal again so was looking forward to my second half of pregnancy. Feeling very anxious, worrying about family, its horrible not seeing them. I'm lucky my job is secure and I can work from home, just hoping my husbands is too 🤞.
Just keep trying to remind myself when we have our baby it'll all be worth it, and in years to come we will be telling them about the crazy year they were born!

So glad everyone is able to share all this! I think it's important to share it and I feel better knowing I'm not alone.

I'm sad about baby shopping too and not being able to prep the bedroom. Even though online shopping is an option, our jobs aren't safe so we are scared to spend any money. Was looking forward to getting maternity clothes and looks like that's something we can't afford.

Booked a newborn shoot in September but OH doesn't want to spend the money but photos mean a lot to me and the thought of not having those photos of the baby and my son makes me sad too x

@JKD1982 I wake up at 4.00am every morning too and have been having some very unsettling dreams lately.

It took us a long time to fall pregnant and now I’m here at 25 weeks which I never thought would happen. It’s a time we should be enjoying our pregnancies, but everything is so uncertain and worrying. Feels very scary.

It really does. My husband is being great and has just spent the last hour consoling me as I talk through all my worries.

I understand women were pregnant during wars and famines so we really are capable and shouldn’t complain

It’s just all the unknowns that I think are making it harder and the news constantly updating and shifting. Hard to cope.

So nice to have support from other pregnant ladies on here though. Thank you x

I had a little cry to DH this morning. I’m really struggling and finding it hard to focus. DH has suggested spending less time on social media and stopping watching the news - perhaps he’s right.

Absolutely!! It’s not fair!

I had a MC last year and am currently 23 weeks pregnant! I am so gutted that I’ve had to cancel my baby shower and I’m not allowed in the shops to pic them furnishings for my nursery! I know online shopping exists but it’s not the same!!

With your first (or any baby really) you want everything to be perfect and this so ISN’T!!

I’m even not seeing my mum for 3 months :(

I know we get a baby at the end and that is the ultimate prize but still... I’m bummed!

As shitty as this situation is, I'm so grateful we've found a place to share how sad we are about it. It just makes it that little bit easier, and I feel that little bit less selfish talking to people who get it so thank you all 🥰

I'm feeling less sad today. I've stopped going on social media for now and will only read the news once a day after bojos announcement. I look forward to my lunchtime walks around the block and am spending a lot of time with this little lady