Anyone else feel disappointed?

[HolsF28]

I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my second, and last baby. I had chronic anxiety with my first after we suffered a miscarriage previously and I was sooooo excited for this pregnancy, to enjoy it and embrace it all and cherish every second and now with everything going on I've had panic attacks all week over fears of not being paid for months as my job is up in the air and just gutted that we are living in fear and uncertainty during it. Having to distance ourselves from our friends and families who I was excited to share this with and just feel really low. Hoping this feeling will blow over and once I feel movements I'll start to enjoy it and deal with the cards we have been dealt. I know this is all for the best if everyone's health, but it still is rubbish.

Does anyone else feel like this and are in the same boat?

I'm so glad everyone feels better to have a space to rant about it all 🥰

I hope the walks round the block don't stop! Only thing keeping me and my little one sane!

So glad to have found this thread.

I’m pregnant for the first and I think last time, we will only have one child because of our ages and the amount of time/treatment it took to get here. I had quite a few scares and bleeds in early pregnancy, so that whole time was just horrendous for anxiety. Incidentally we got married when I was 8 weeks so hen do, wedding, honeymoon (plus Christmas and new year) were all rather overshadowed by bleeding, emergency early scans, being generally terrified. We had 20 week scan last week and I was feeling really good, determined to enjoy this pregnancy. I was going to aquanatal classes, booked in to start pregnancy yoga, looking forward to starting antenatal classes and potentially meet some mum friends. Had a big family get together in a few weeks which would be the first time I saw lots of my family since I told them I’m pregnant, (didn’t share till late due to fears) and was really looking forward to being with them and celebrating, not to mention a chance for a weekend away.

I’ve spent years watching friends and family members share the excitement and joy of pregnancy and their little ones, being thrilled for them whilst hurting for myself. I can’t help feel gutted that I’m missing out on that, can’t go shopping for the baby or any of those normal things, even that no random strangers will be trying to touch my bump (glad about that one really!).

It’s tiny compared to larger concerns about keeping the baby safe, the world he or she is going to be born into and not to mention having totally lost my income due to school closures. And even then I know how hugely lucky we are compared to many. But I do feel sad and pretty shit about it. It’s nice to know I’m not on my own and not being horrendously selfish to have these thoughts.

@AliasGrape I feel very similarly (and in a similar situation) for you, this is really hard.

Another one here. I’m much earlier than most of you - only 6 weeks - but have suffered from recurrent mcs including 2 missed mcs, and don’t think I’m now going to be able to travel to my private clinic which is 2 hrs away by public transport (don’t have a car) so will miss my reassurance scans and possibly some treatment. I’m going to be terrified that the baby has died for the whole of the next 6 weeks until my 12 week hospital scan, assuming I even have one, and if I do it seems likely my DH won’t be able to come.

@AliasGrape I recognise your name and story from another thread. I'm sooo happy you're doing well with your pregnancy after all your scares, I remember you being so worried at your hen do.

I'm 22 weeks tomorrow and feeling similar to the rest of you ladies. It took such a long time to get preg and heartbreak along the way that I never thought I'd recover from. I've literally only just stopped being worried sick every second of every day about this baby being ok and now this happens to sap the joy.

I too am sad about the potential online shopping rather than being in the shops proudly displaying my bump and test driving prams etc. I really don't like attention and didn't think anything of a baby shower but now I can't have one I feel sad about it, silly eh!

The worst thing tho is my parents are both in their 70s and diabetic/asthmatic so that really sucks ☹️

But on the positive I've got a pretty secure job and a happy marriage so just got to hold onto those things I guess x

Hi everyone, I was really pleased to find this thread. I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant after a series of miscarriages last year. We’ve longed for this baby for such a long, long time, but I can’t help but feel sad that my pregnancy is going to be so affected by CV. I’m also struggling with feelings of guilt about bringing a child into all of this. It’s so hard not knowing what the next few months will bring. Anyway, it’s nice to know there are others here in the same boat. X

I'm glad I found this thread too. I feel like I can't rant about any of this to anyone bcoz it feels slightly petty compared to what others may be going through. But I just feel so sad and disappointed by it all.
I'm 15 weeks today with my first. It's taken us 3 years to get here, we started IVF at the end of last year and had a freeze all and then I miraculously fell pregnant naturally over Christmas.
I've been anxious and slightly of the "I won't believe it's really happening until 12 weeks...20 weeks...etc" mind set so don't even feel like I've properly enjoyed the pregnancy yet and now this is all happening and my anxiety is through the roof.
I want to be at work (WFH currently) celebrating with friends, family and colleagues. Shopping with my mum and partner. Decorating the nursery and buying essential things. Now it will be all online and I'm worried I'll even get anything at all.
Sorry - rant over.

I'm so glad I found this thread. Reading everyone else's comments makes me feel so much less alone and neurotic. I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant with our first child and both sets of grandparents first grandchild so everyone is really excited. We are in the middle of an extension, the pregnancy was a surprise and so we had originally planned to be pregnant once all the building work had completed. Our house is a tip, we have no working plumbing downstairs every room in the house is affected by the work and I'm in fear that the build wont get completed if we go into a lockdown. I'm just sad about everything, sad that I'll be buying things online and not shopping with my mum. Sad that the house may ground to a halt which isnt even really practical to be living in during lock down, worried about money as who knows what the future will hold. In general I'm just scared and anxious, which makes me feel guilty that I'm not being a good enough mum providing a calm environment and the baby isnt even here yet! Then on top of that guilt I worry about the future for this little one and whether I should be bringing a baby into the world. Its exhausting.

I'm beyond grateful for my work and the other blessings we have. And for our NHS, supermarket workers and all the others that are still helping makes this world go round. And if this is what it takes to stop people losing loved ones then I know it's worth it but I still cant help feeling disappointed.

Sorry to go on and rant, and I'm so glad there are others feeling how I do xx

I'm glad I found this thread too. 33 weeks with a very long awaited IVF baby after several horrible years of fertility treatment. I had been so happy and was so enjoying being pregnant and now I feel like I've been robbed of all the normal pregnancy things that I should be enjoying and it's been replaced by worry and sadness. I can't believe after all the bad luck and heartache we had trying to get pregnant, now this! I'll probably only get to do this once and I'm so sad about how things have turned out.

At the same time I'm so grateful to be having this baby and I feel desperately sad for all the ladies whose IVF cycles are being cancelled. And I'm lucky we can work from home and keep ourselves and baby safe as much as possible. I know everyone is struggling with their own grief about how this has affected them, it's just a horrible situation for everyone.

I'm 34 + 4 and I feel like my whole maternity leave is going to be ruined and the whole experience of having my first child is going to be ruined by this virus. It sounds Selfish to say it but it's been upsetting me over the past few weeks

I of course feel for every single person affected by the corona virus and know I could be in a much worse situation.

but I'm worried about giving birth in what looks like will be the peak of the virus and potentially catching it whilst at the hospital.

Also upset disappointed that family will not be able to meet her for potentially months

Wish I could wake up and it all be a bad dream! and that it blows over quickly! but its looking like months :(

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

And I completely feel the same way, like I'm in a bad dream every time I watch the news.

I'm also 14 weeks have been really anxious as my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage and this current situation has only made it worse. I've began to get quite depressed. The way your feeling is more then valid and know that you're not alone.

It might not seem like it but eventually this will all resolve money and jobs included and it'll all be a distant memory. Try and remain positive and keep talking to people about how you're feeling, even if it's just on the phone for now.

Joining this thread as feel the same as all of you and what has been said. Nice to know we're not alone - again friends & family synthetic but no one else I know is pregnant with their first at the moment so don't fully understand the sadness I feel at not being able to go to antenatal classes / stopping maternity yoga which I was enjoying / make new mummy friends / not browsing the shops for things for the baby & having to do all online now / not being able to show off my growing bump in public / not having the excitement of friends & family feeling kicks (luckily my mum & 2 sisters already have) etc. So unbelievably selfish, but it's the way I feel. My mum potentially has CV-19 right now and the anxiety over this is unreal because I can't go and look after her. I'm a nurse and have been stopped from seeing face to face patients and feel useless.

I'm not one for normally feeling sorry for myself and will repeat what others have said that in the grand scheme of things this is all very small. But it's how we feel.

I'm glad there is somewhere I can let my feelings out because I don't feel like I should be saying this to many people I know - I mentioned to an ITU nurse friend the other day and the the conversation went dead. I felt terrible. Which then makes me feel worse.

Yes I feel the same.
My last pregnancy ended at 22+4 with a TFMR so I knew this pregnancy would be stressful but I didn't expect a pandemic.
I'm a bit of a mess tbh.

I'm really concerned about antenatal appointments being cancelled along with the 20 week scan. I have really high anxiety and not being able to be checked for stuff and not having the baby's heartbeat checked is really concerning me. Also not having the scan to find out if there's anything potentially wrong with the baby!!

I feel the same. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one.
Currently 31 weeks, sent home from work last week due to the situation and unable to work from home (very grateful to be looked after by my amazing colleagues) but feel so so guilty about that also, which I don't think is helping how I feel.
I think everyone will feel anxious in these times, but you still can't help how you feel.
I am normally quite level headed and not too emotional, I think I have cried every single day since stopping work.
I find it difficult to call my family as I feel I will just cry. My mum has to social shield and the one thing I really wanted was for her to be there at the birth and to be one of the first people to see and hold her grandchild. Obviously her safety is far more important and she has been amazing about the whole thing, I think she is disappointed but doesn't want me to be upset even more.
I worry that I will feel disconnected from baby once they are here. I feel truly awful for saying that but it as real true concern. I really really hope I won't! I wanted this baby so much and feel like a terrible mum to be for even thinking I will feel that way.
I know I need to keep positive and I am trying hard to.
Glad that this here to support each other.

23 weeks and feeling similar. Theres a lot of irrational and selfish thoughts rattling around in my head that I don't feel I can express to anyone else.
I'm so disappointed I won't get to spend my last half of my pregnancy with my friends and colleagues, or get to see my parents. I'm disappointed I won't get to have a baby shower or make any more trips to look at furniture/baby necessities.
I'm frustrated that my husband can't come with me to any more appointments and a bit scared that by the time to give birth comes around, birthing partners won't be allowed either.

We did a photoshoot for our first one @HolsF28 but not going to do it now and we're so sad we can't offer our second the same thing- they will not be less wanted or loved. But money is scarce and we can't afford to spend more money nor to buy a lot of things we would have wanted. I think children will understand though.

For us it's tough as my in-laws dont isolate at all and they got really cross when we told them they won't be able to come to the hospital nor visit us at home straight away (or more likely for a few weeks/months). I don't think they get it...

I’m disappointed for very first world reasons. 2nd & last pregnancy. Have a boy who was a shock/surprise so wasn’t very organised. Having a girl & wanted to do the whole pink tiny baby cute clothes, professional photos thing (not that I’m not mad about my son just this pregnancy was planned!).

I try to give myself a good talking to & say women had babies in wartime etc. It helps a little bit. I have no major reason to worry other than my husband’s job might not survive this, I expect mine will so I could have to cut short my mat leave.

It could be so more worse so many people are so much worse off but I’m still disappointed.

Yes, I’m feeling that way too. I’m 22 weeks and haven’t told anyone aside from close family and work yet, I just don’t feel up to it. Haven’t even taken a bump pic yet. Can’t feel excited, just feel anxious and worried all of the time.

I am 100% with you all on this. Feel so disappointed. First and only baby for me. Was told I wouldn't be able to conceive and fell pregnant with my little miracle. And what started as the most magical happy time has now turned into an anxious time for all. Isolating away from my family, no baby shower (we have said we can do this after really) but still. And in the grand scheme of things I feel awful because realistically some people out there are loosing loved ones. At least I'm safe. But doesn't stop the gutted feeling. Up until Monday I was still having to work and i felt like the first time I've had to protect my little one I was failing her. Just mixed feelings! 😕

So glad to read this thread - not that I enjoy hearing other people’s anxiety and struggles might I add! It’s just reassuring to know you’re not alone.
Currently 33 weeks with first and last baby after IVF and previous MC and we were just really looking forward to being able to enjoy these next few months. Final day at work (where they would usually decorate your desk, do a group card/present, go out for lunch etc), have the chilled spa day with the other half, final date nights for a while, seeing friends and family and generally making the most of the last few weeks before due date.
Instead OH and I are on lockdown trying not to annoy each other whilst working from the same small table and trying not to stress about what the next 3 months will bring.
I’ve been assured by my midwife that important scans are still taking place, and that partners are still ok to attend the birth as long as they’re symptom free, but who knows what will happen.
Hopefully people will start following the rules and be sensible so this can go away soon.

I try to give myself a good talking to & say women had babies in wartime etc.

I'm trying to remember this as well - despite how disappointed I feel (see post on previous page!) It's helping a bit.

Echoing everyone else I'm so glad to have found this thread. 36 weeks so due when they estimate that nhs will be at stretching point. Feeling so simular to everyone else...so sad about missing out on all the little things we has looked forward to in the run up. It's 1st baby and depending on the situation it could mean going back to work after a couple of weeks because hubby is self employed. Not how we had hoped! But good to hear it's not just us...

It’s a great thread to just get it off your chest. Tbh I think part of it might be because I’m Irish & the number of deaths here has been low - 7 so far. I feel bad even writing that, what I mean is that if our numbers were as bad as Italy maybe I’d just be glad to be alive!
I’m 31 weeks. I’m having a c section in about 7 weeks. Assuming baby won’t get to meet grandparents for some time & even when they meet I’ll be worried about the grandparents being infected.
All the pink stuff & the Mamas & Papas etc. shouldn’t matter but I still mind a bit!

I have been frustrated and jittery, but not disappointed. I am pregnant with a much awaited for IVF baby, and we went through a lot to get to a place where I could manage and baby was healthy. I am relieved to be pregnant and so happy. I do feel scared sometimes, and I wish I could see my family, but I have this time to myself, and I've never really had that! Yes, I thought I would be showing off my bump...but there's also something special about keeping things at home and coming to terms, happily or in times of stress, on your own. Mx